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Anonymous #1

how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories?
    #23615801 - 09/05/16 06:52 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I have this feeling.

I don't know how to explain it, other than my feeling of being a victim of sexual abuse when I was a child.

Sometimes, when I try to remember as far back as I can, I feel as if there are some gaps...I guess this is normal...but sometimes these memories arise, just slightly.

Gives me a deja vu feeling.



But it isn't completely unwarranted.

I was told that our (my sister and I) original babysitter(s), our neighbors, were revealed to partake in dubious behavior.

I remember one thing faintly, where the male was on the stairs with just a towel covering his private, and he was screaming in a playful manner.

I remember us all laughing, thinking nothing of it.


Just recently, I discovered that my sister had actually seen him masturbating in his bedroom with the door wide open (while we were under his supervision).

After this incident, we never went back there again.


My sister claims she was never touched inappropriately, or witnessed anything of that sort prior.

I don't really remember much about that period of my life.

Maybe I was just too young, and that's why...I don't know. But I do remember little things.

Like the basement, where I would often play alone.

I would get in trouble a lot too. I remember the woman being a little more strict with me.




Given the circumstances, do you think that maybe the dark side of my imagination is maybe toying with me?
Or do you think that these feelings are reasonable and should further be explored?

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Anonymous #2

Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23615860 - 09/05/16 07:07 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Would you say you had a good child hood overall?..

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Anonymous #1

Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #23615869 - 09/05/16 07:10 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I think so, yes.

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23616205 - 09/05/16 08:34 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I think so, yes.



My therapist told me a long time ago that it always raises her suspicions when people answer thusly to the question posed above your answer.

In response to OP, yes, I definitely think you should explore this stuff further. If you feel something is amiss, I'd say there's a fucking good chance there is.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Invisiblenooneman
Male

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,612
Loc: Utah
Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #23616220 - 09/05/16 08:37 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Repressed memories are generally considered bunk these days because studies have shown that children have really crappy and easily fooled memories, and that it's easy to create fake memories in people that they believe are real. In fact studies have shown that a lot of our fondest childhood memories are fakes.

Memory is shitty and unreliable in the best of times, and it's very easy to make someone think they've uncovered something when in fact they made the whole thing up.

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Offlinebeforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: nooneman] * 1
    #23616670 - 09/06/16 12:02 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Meditate extensively, allow yourself to slowly drift into sleep.

Also take heavy doses of psychedelics and think of childhood, try to explore it.

Sure, these things can be made up, but if you start to FEEL it, like sensations of touching on the skin, biting, rough treatment, soreness and ultimately penetration sensations, you know you're not making it up.

The brain has blacked out deliberately during the experience as it climaxed. Some of the experience was processed at the time, but the worst of it remains repressed. It will be an overwhelming experience, as you relive the memories as the child experienced them, not in any way you would deal with a rape/assault today.

I relived a lot of stuff on the brink of sleep, during sleep, and in nightmares, and meditation.

I've made it deep into the memories that I have actually gone back there and it was so horrifying I just forced myself back into consciousness.

There is a lot of psychological energy holding it back if you have this problem.

Are you depressed?

Violently angry at times?

Guilty, alone for no reason?

It may be trying to surface.

First things first,

Get your anger out . . .

There's no way a child being abused doesn't become psychotically, uncontrollably angry, because it doesn't even know where to stop when it's just discipline or an accident. So deep in the mind is a whole lot of anger for what has possibly happened to you.


--------------------
Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?

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Anonymous #1

Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23618607 - 09/06/16 03:10 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

nooneman said:
Repressed memories are generally considered bunk these days because studies have shown that children have really crappy and easily fooled memories, and that it's easy to create fake memories in people that they believe are real. In fact studies have shown that a lot of our fondest childhood memories are fakes.

Memory is shitty and unreliable in the best of times, and it's very easy to make someone think they've uncovered something when in fact they made the whole thing up.




Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
I think so, yes.



My therapist told me a long time ago that it always raises her suspicions when people answer thusly to the question posed above your answer.

In response to OP, yes, I definitely think you should explore this stuff further. If you feel something is amiss, I'd say there's a fucking good chance there is.




I'm torn between these two.

Part of me is saying that these feelings do not just come out of thin air...while that's true, it is also possible that my mind is just fabricating some odd tale that was never told.

It's like having a shovel and a location to dig, but no clear indication that the digging will lead to anything other than emptiness. 

I fear of taking a psychedelic such as LSD or mushrooms and reflecting on what I may believe to be true, only because it may lead to further delusion (if that's what I'm dealing with). Or maybe I'm afraid of what I may discover...

I have, while high on marijuana, explored these thoughts and have reached no conclusion. But I do go through stages of fright and these very strange memories. But how do I know if these are things I truly experienced vs. things I've read or observed throughout my life with some twists and turns added?

Typically, it ends with me telling myself that there's no way, and that I would remember something like that.

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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23619031 - 09/06/16 05:26 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Try therapy would be my suggestion.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23619053 - 09/06/16 05:35 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

There probably is repressed memories there that as a child you pushed very far down. Even though I had to relive and face my trauma, for years now, I believe I still have more to uncover. But it is really taxing on your health...

Do you ever find yourself 'triggered' back into memory from someone's actions or being somewhere? Sometimes I get back from certain situations, like I get an upset feeling in my stomach when in bad fluorescent lighting or start to panic during arguments or yelling. Those are some signs to tell you you're on the right track. It wasn't until my uncle was actually arrested on my graduation night that I was swarmed with memories of being abused as a child from him. And then more came back of other abuse. It opened the flood gates that once were locked up really tight.

I would highly suggest you go seek a therapist when trying to uncover these memories though as they do alot of damage to your psyche if you cannot handle it properly.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Anonymous #3

Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23619076 - 09/06/16 05:41 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I used to listen to love line with dr.drew and callers would often say things like that op. Dr. Drew said that most of the time in his experience (his exaxt profession mind you) that when people suspect something happened, something did indeed happen.

Its funny how we carry things from our childhood to our adulthood. We hold onto things for so long. It shapes us. Im 28 and im finally having realizations as to why i am the way i am, the things i do and the ways i feel. I discovered them while getting sober. I ended up putting a magnifying glass on myself and asked why. I learned a lot about myself, things i was able to trace back to childhood.

So many things i would've benefited from understanding at younger age. Things stick with you from childhood that you dont even realize. I wish i wouldve talked it out with a professional years ago. I think you should explore it op. I too suspect some funny biz in my past that i cant put my finger on

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Offlinebeforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #23619917 - 09/06/16 09:34 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I had no idea about my childhood until it forced itself into consciousness during a stressful event. I abreacted in front of people, in a public speaking situation (small class).

If it's in there, you will always be detached from reality somewhat until it's out.

Also yes psychedelics may bring extremely horrific material to the surface. Perhaps low doses and focus on the body the whole time, see what the body "wants to do". If you get into a really pleasurable abreactive state, kind of like an emotional purge, it will do great things for you. Can happen on a low dose and be controllable, ie. you can just not purge if you don't like it. Mushrooms are very good for this kind of thing . . . (ime)

May I recommend extensively reading as many books as you can find by Stanislav Grof?

Check out particularly The Adventure of Self Discovery, and
Realms of the Human Unconscious: Observations from LSD Research


--------------------
Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?

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Anonymous #1

Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: beforethedawn]
    #23653141 - 09/17/16 01:27 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I've come to believe that we were being groomed - seeing how far the questionable behavior could go - that is, observing our reactions and slowly progressing towards the ultimate goal.

Fortunately, we were removed from the situation before it could reach the point of no return.



Thanks for the responses. :peace:

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Anonymous #4

Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23653799 - 09/17/16 05:45 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Repressed memories occur with me too, I find it difficult to remember a lot of my childhood, only bits and pieces of it, my upbringing wasn't the greatest in a sense.

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InvisibleCelestial Traveler
Random Observer
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/03/11
Posts: 7,639
Loc: Idaho
Re: how likely is it that childhood trauma is accompanied by repressed memories? [Re: nooneman]
    #23654077 - 09/17/16 08:28 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

That's interesting, do you perhaps have a link to said studies?


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