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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Identity, innocence and karma
#23616020 - 09/05/16 07:39 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I find that my identity is not a static thing at all. I have been watching videos of when I had just met my guru, videos before that and also recent videos and I am not the same person in any of them.
It's the people we keep, the food we eat, the thoughts we choose to have, our attitudes, our beliefs... appearance too.
Two people can live very similar lives... and feel totally different about their lives, based on just the energy around them, the roles they fall into, the responsibility they must take on.
It's slightly uncomfortable and just a little bit scary, to not know who you are - everyday I feel different, look different in my facial expressions and body - It's so alarming when you create a new belief about yourself and you find that, you are still you, but not who you thought you were.
Is this schizophrenia? It's just so bizarre to watch these videos. Because a few days ago I could watch them and laugh and say "Wow, that's not me at all. What a powerful effect this guru had on me." But I felt that the me I am now is who I am and the real me. Yet today I can't even feel confident to say that the new me is the real me either. I don't know who I am right now. And I wonder if this is a more natural state to be in than to be secure in my self projections and my beliefs about myself.
Perhaps it's a transition -- I just figured that I would become more secure in my identity, not less. So many selves to explore. I feel like I could create a bunch of new accounts and speak to myself from each one as a different person. This also frightens me.
And I just realized what has changed, and remembered that it happened before - when I accepted a different belief. That I am crazy, or severely limited, or defunct in some way - I then see myself different, and the limits and approach totally change.
I'm sure this sounds insane. I feel insane.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,831
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Our identity as humans interacting on the physical plane seems to be something of a phantasm -- it is not especially fixed to anything. Most of the time, we "are ourselves," but things can become very fluid during certain chaotic periods, including during a personal crisis, or any form of psychosis, or what have you. It seems there is really no objective essence to our ego-identity. But there is a more fundamental level, beyond or beneath the ego, on which we do seem to have some sort of anchor -- some kind of unchanging essence that affixes us to the cosmos.
In other words, I don't think it's an all or nothing situation. In some respects, we may change radically over time. And in many ways it's always the same old you.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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HagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher



Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 10,028
Loc: Overjoyed, at the bottom ...
Last seen: 15 days, 6 hours
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Quote:
Brain Broken Phase Number 2 - Finally Recognizing the Grand Lie
2012. Holy fuck. The future sure ain't what I expected. Seriously where the fuck is my nemesis?
You think back on all of those old experiences and wonder just what the hell happened. Which of those past events conspired to bring me here? Was it all of them? Yes, no one knows? If the necessary memory you possess, then I encourage you to connect the dots as best you can. Do it right and you'll arrive at at least one ultimate truth.
You aren't the person you were.
Being smart can be one of the worst attributes to befall someone. A mind resourceful enough to create a being as complex as I is capable of anything. Or so I tell myself. Or my other self. It's the Yin and Yang.
Our minds exist in a constant state of upheaval. We should allow every mental construct we accept as true to stay under constant evaluation, that every new piece of information is considered in the internal debate to decide their merits. A few simple rules that allow for this mentality would be the only things to stay throughout your life. But that isn't what we do.
For one reason or another, we just can't let go of certain ideas. Cognitive dissonance it's called. You actually sub-consciously convince yourself that your irrationality is rational. Sounds pretty crazy. The smarter you are, the more separate ideas you are able to hold concurrently, and the crazier it gets.
You may not be the person you think are.
That sub-conscious is something else. Constantly plotting, running simulations whilst you slumber. Never know what he's up to but he always knows what you do. If you learn how to crack it be prepared for the mess.
It's a mother fucker when you first look through your nemesis' eyes.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15693456
-------------------- I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine
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bigdoodie
it does not matter


Registered: 06/24/16
Posts: 238
Last seen: 7 years, 4 days
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We have to seek God if we want the truth. God is the beginning of wisdom
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Halayudha
Empath



Registered: 01/02/15
Posts: 242
Loc: fresh air, nature, warm-i...
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Well, I would say look at a few certain specifics; the foods you eat, this type of thing. I have noticed that these make a difference - so if you are looking for more stability, etc...
Do you have a stable diet? I remember Thich Nhat Hanh saying - when someone, a friend, looks much the same day to day, this is sort of a definition of stability. He wrote, for us to take refuge in something, it has to be stable; we can't take refuge in something that isn't.
Now, change is always occurring, but still, the trees look much the same from day-to-day, though they are slowly changing. . .
Does this help? I would almost say, meditate on mountains and rivers and such.... In fact, flowing streams do wonders for bringing that meditative state of calm... I often find they are the best... I remember someone saying the same thing as well - maybe CJ.
Many good wishes. No, it doesn't sound too wild at all; a normal thing. Let us know how you feel in a day or two?
-------------------- Call me not rebel, though { here at every word {in what I sing If I no longer hail thee { King and Lord { Lord and King
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BrendanFlock
Stranger


Registered: 06/01/13
Posts: 4,254
Last seen: 4 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: Identity, innocence and karma [Re: Halayudha]
#23619993 - 09/06/16 09:51 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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An identity can come in many forms...but likely in forms only..unless you are supreme sublime..which is your soul without others...Thats you as the Creator..and in that moment..are you Joy, and Gold..which is the Classical Machine..of Enlightenment..running its course..but always in the coverage of Darkness of otherwise Classified documents..which are meant to be read..but only at the appropriate time..and that is the trickle down effect of the system...which has been established..on Moral Freemason Rites..and standards..from the All seeing eye above..to the moral Freeman at the bottom..
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HagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher



Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 10,028
Loc: Overjoyed, at the bottom ...
Last seen: 15 days, 6 hours
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Re: Identity, innocence and karma [Re: bigdoodie]
#23621021 - 09/07/16 07:31 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
bigdoodie said: We have to seek God if we want the truth.
Perhaps you need to, but truth exists with or without God.
Quote:
God is the beginning of wisdom
Uhh, which God are you talking about?
-------------------- I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine
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