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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Nah the truth is I eat 96 2mg lope pills and I get decently high honestly and I'm totally not sick. I been shooting Roxy's and Dilaudid quite heavy lately tbh. A 90ish mg day sometimes more for oxy one day and then I might shoot 8-16mg at the time Dilaudid the next day. Leaves me sick feeling until like Wednesday morning. I do this on Friday and Saturday and have been for a few months low. I'm about to get 10 subs and do a 16 day detox like I used to I always walked away damn well not sick and experiencing no real symptoms.
I aint been doing so hot since my dad locked up and my mom dying a year later. I'm bouncing back tho. I've became an alcohlic, admittedly, for the first time in the last year. I drink and get real real drunk like 4 or 5 times a week. These past few weeks I just been drinking beer mildly every night like maybe 3 or max a 6 pack every night. I usually drink a fifth of jack Daniels or fireball like I said 5 or more nights a week for this past year. Sometimes way more. If I think about my mom drinking half of a half gallon of jack or fireball is easy to for me to do and still get up and labor Monday thru Saturday.
It's been a kinda shitty year.
Edited by zSDMF (09/05/16 11:07 AM)
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614444 - 09/05/16 11:13 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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96 lope pills. All the time I have spent hooked for some reason this never appealed to me. Also I have heard anecdotes of severe organ damage from lope abuse.
Trust me those things you "used to do" to avoid sickness can't be relied upon. Sorry you've been having a shitty year, and I hope you can find some stability and get some perspective, because it sounds like you're fucking up.
Get some kratom while you can, if only to help once you stop taking the subs.
Edited by moonrockmushy (09/05/16 11:14 AM)
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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For sure man I'm slowing down for sure. I got my 3rd DUI the end of June. Lucky I plead down to my second so this one is just a misdemeanor and will be my 2nd DUI conviction. I been living by myself snd that isn't helping. I rented out my house (the one I Inherited and there is a spare room. I'm tell my boy and his wife I'll behave well and drop all the monthly rent they owe me if they let me stay there and keep the bills paid. This guy is also my long ride to work (he's my foreman and probably only true friend I got ATM) so I'm sure they will let me stay in the spare. I'll split the food bill every week too.
That will help me sober up off opiates again. I can handle boozing sometimes (gonna try to stop drinking liquor) and being around people will help me. No shit tho you are totally right i been fucking up bad. This time last year I was shooting meth like all the time. I've since quit meth. I quit using daily 6+ months ago and have only gotten high one time on my birthday back in June. I don't like it anymore. Thanks for the concern and kind words tho means a lot, really. I got love for this place
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614513 - 09/05/16 11:37 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah man, once you've been strung out for a while you really just have to accept that you're gonna be dope sick. You can't avoid paying that Piper. Accept it, deal with....and when it's over you never have to go through it again. All you have to do is still clean. Which is admittedly easier said then done, but it is very possible. One day at a time.
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614516 - 09/05/16 11:37 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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And no not gonna try Keatom. This ain't my first rodeo. What I do is find my lowest sub dose I can get by on and feel OK and able to sleep. Every 4 days I lower the dose by 1/3. Ie day 1 to 4 is half strip, 5 to 8 is 1/4 strip and 9 to 12 is 1\8. After that I stop and might have a day or 2 of shitty sleep bit that's all. I'm not that dependent ATM. It's about to spiral out of control if I don't stop tho. And I am. I got nobody to help me no real family no more. I gotta do better than this cause if I fuck up nobody will bail me out.
It's gonna get better real soon
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Quote:
Dark_Star said: Yeah man, once you've been strung out for a while you really just have to accept that you're gonna be dope sick. You can't avoid paying that Piper. Accept it, deal with....and when it's over you never have to go through it again. All you have to do is still clean. Which is admittedly easier said then done, but it is very possible. One day at a time.
For sure bro I know u gotta remember me a Lil o was real bad on oxycontin and meth for a while. I started shooting after my mom died. Around July of last year .
Im changing my setting stay to stay with a sober friend, my supervisor at work, with his family and he's an addict in recovery so he will definitely hold me accountable.
How have u been bro I know u were on H a while.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614537 - 09/05/16 11:44 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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That's quite a can of worms you got there for yourself. As for your* other thread regarding meth, you should stay far away from it as you are already seemingly wired And geared for addictive patterns of substance use.
Sorry man, i mistook you for another poster in that thread.
Edited by 404 (09/05/16 12:03 PM)
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Re: EMC [Re: 404]
#23614581 - 09/05/16 11:58 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
404 said: That's quite a can of worms you got there for yourself. As for you other thread regarding meth, you should stay far away from it as you are already seemingly wired And geared for addictive patterns of substance use.
I have done speed one time in las 6 months and I have no desire for it. It is extremely unpleasant for me every time I do it I spend 24 hours praying I was smart by not using.
Id like to do nothing but drink some beer sometimes.
I'm done with meth have been I really hate the stuff now. After a 10 year hard addiction it is truly my least favorite drug now. Ask me that q when I was active here meth would be my fav by far.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614584 - 09/05/16 11:59 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah I definitely remember you man. Glad you're back around these parts. I've been good man; cleaned up my act a while back, went to school & am now working in my chosen field. Ups & downs, but life is good. I definitely never saw this life being a possibility before.
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Re: EMC [Re: 404]
#23614607 - 09/05/16 12:09 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
404 said:
That's quite a can of worms you got there for yourself. As for your* other thread regarding meth, you should stay far away from it as you are already seemingly wired And geared for addictive patterns of substance use.
Sorry man, i mistook you for another poster in that thread.
Well brother it rang clear and true for me too. I needed to hear it.
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Quote:
Dark_Star said: Yeah I definitely remember you man. Glad you're back around these parts. I've been good man; cleaned up my act a while back, went to school & am now working in my chosen field. Ups & downs, but life is good. I definitely never saw this life being a possibility before.
Bro I was a spoiled kid. My parents let me party ad hard as i wanted with no real consequence and they always bailed me out. Dad went away January of '12 and mom died last June 29. It's been real tough with them gone I feel like I have ko true family left. Drugs have attempted quite unsuccessfully i must admit. I'm praying this time I don't fuck this up and get it wrong cause if I fall real bad mama and daddy can't and won't do shit for me now.
Truth is this is the first time I've had to act grown and I'm 27. I gotta get it right this time
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 4 hours, 41 minutes
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614630 - 09/05/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Lol. You've been a member since you were 15. Makes me wonder how many of us are actually still in HS.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Re: EMC [Re: koods]
#23614662 - 09/05/16 12:25 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yea man I started early. All my old posts are way true too. I was a terrible drug addict since around 13.
I'm pretty sure it wasn't against the rules to be under age then but I may be wrong
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614673 - 09/05/16 12:29 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Are you spiritual or interested in martial arts? You should seriously consider joining a group/organization/school for the community and the support it can offer you. Being involved in a spiritual community and a traditional martial arts school has helped me in a lot of ways. Particularly when I'm really deep into a depression, need to vent, or just need some company for emotional support. Helps a lot when I feel self destructive urges beginning to manifest. Just some food for thought.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Yes I believe in God I was raised Christian I'm I'm the process of finding a home church. Things are going to get good for me quick
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614697 - 09/05/16 12:41 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I truly believe that this time for the first time ever
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Mental Taco



Registered: 07/02/14
Posts: 2,290
Loc: Hell
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614716 - 09/05/16 12:44 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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What is labor day anyways?
Im out of it im not goin anywere fame Way to much l and dissociation last night by the fire Im sitting around facing bowl after bowl
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zSDMF
Stranger



Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 10,562
Loc: lost in nothing
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Labor day is a holiday in America typically laborers have it off. My job kicks ass so I have if paid off
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: EMC [Re: zSDMF]
#23614764 - 09/05/16 01:06 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mental Taco said: What is labor day anyways?
Im out of it im not goin anywere fame Way to much l and dissociation last night by the fire Im sitting around facing bowl after bowl
Labor day is a day to celebrate the contributions of the organized labor movement in America. Things like child labor, fair pay, 40 hour weeks, the right to compensation should you be hurt or killed on the job.
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Big Worm
Perf


Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 7,642
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: EMC [Re: koods] 1
#23614821 - 09/05/16 01:27 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: Lol. You've been a member since you were 15. Makes me wonder how many of us are actually still in HS.
From a lot of the threads and posts I read on here, I would say a lot.
Shit, I just turned 12 last week.
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