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something super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!


Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
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need some honest relationship advice 13
#23606429 - 09/02/16 10:09 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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hey guys hope everything's good wit y'all anyway sorry about some of my last troll posts but i got a serious problem
so im havin sex tomorrow for the first time and i got some question but first let me give yall some background I got a really tiny penis. One dude rated me and he said im a shitposter cause i got a three inch johnson but honestly he was being generous it's more like 1.5" after a lot of warming up.
ok dont laugh but the girl im gonna hopefully get it in is this fine as black escort i met on christianmingle.com, her name is Mystique and she's an amputee (diabetes) and slightly overweight (prolly like 250 or 275 pounds) but she got a real good figure and said she'll strap on an extra for only twenty more (free extras?? Hell yea dude)
anyway my main fear is how do i get the penis in her butt its really huge the butt and im not sure my penis can find the good part now i been practicing all night i watched a lot of bbw porn and i been tying heavy stuff to my penis tryin to stretch out another inch or two
does anyone know how to get they're dick like twice as bigger? nothin illegal though i already had to explain my problem with the dick to the police once and when they searched me it was super embarrassing because the thing was so shrunk (I was scared) they thought I had actually been castrated when i was born
so my other question is how do i bring up poop with Mystique i really enjoy the rough and powerful pheromonal aromas of an attractive woman and i think her poop could be used to enhance my essence? should i bring it up during dinner?
guys i thank y'all for bein so cool hella shroomy have a great weekend yall i might post a trip report sunday
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sanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson



Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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lol goin for butt sex yer first time. nice.
-------------------- I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you... But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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If your dick cant reach the anus just lube the cheeks up and thrust away
Its not rocket science
Edited by BANANA.MAN (09/02/16 10:30 PM)
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Canadian Jesus
I'll Be Back. I'm Back.



Registered: 07/10/16
Posts: 4,447
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 months, 20 days
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: BANANA.MAN]
#23606552 - 09/02/16 10:46 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Spread her cheeks as far as you can. Maybe use duct tape so your hands are free to grab her titties or rub her clit.
-------------------- What's the crime if I snort a line, smoke, toke shoot it up all at the same time?
SunnyD said: Definitely have more respect for sheekle than I do for unjust laws
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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I wish I could read straight. Then maybe I could offer some advice. wanna talk? PM me.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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RedBalloon
Jenny


Registered: 08/23/16
Posts: 163
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#23606602 - 09/02/16 11:09 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Truvada and Tivicay are stimulant to private areas
-------------------- i like to keep it mello, ya i keep it mello, i like to keep it mellow, ya i keep it mello, i like to keep it mello -Jenny Camilla Baker
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 5 hours, 59 minutes
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I can't take anything you say seriously anymore.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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hTx
(:



Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 5,724
Loc: Space-time
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-------------------- zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes Light up the darkness.
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,898
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Spread the butt.
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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra



Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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go for the belly button
-------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,898
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: The Phleg] 4
#23606664 - 09/02/16 11:47 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
The Phleg said: go for the belly button
Good call, thinking outside the box.
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: 1234go]
#23606668 - 09/02/16 11:50 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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i actually done that at least once im sure every girl I have sex with has gone through the tiny penis in the butt routine i mean detour
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,898
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: Konyap]
#23606671 - 09/02/16 11:57 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I remember. "You're so cool".
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 4 hours, 18 minutes
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: 1234go]
#23606726 - 09/03/16 12:39 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Jesus I just realized this is a pub thread :faceplam:
OP, bring a large English cucumber or cactus with you. Don't be selfish.
--------------------
NotSheekle said βif I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to herβ
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,366
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 seconds
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never change SSE. Can u do that for me?
Never change.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth πππ
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | π§ Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method π§ |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
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Great Scott
Trigger Lover


Registered: 05/05/03
Posts: 19,797
Loc: Control Grid
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Haha nice. Where'd you copy paste this from?
--------------------
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,366
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 seconds
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: Great Scott]
#23606762 - 09/03/16 01:10 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I bet its 100% him/her. Not sure on OPs gender.
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Great Scott
Trigger Lover


Registered: 05/05/03
Posts: 19,797
Loc: Control Grid
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: LogicaL Chaos] 3
#23606766 - 09/03/16 01:12 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Maybe he hasn't picked a gender yet. Don't be insensitive.
--------------------
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: Great Scott]
#23606767 - 09/03/16 01:14 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Naw thats pure sVs/SSE right there
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,366
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 3 seconds
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Re: need some honest relationship advice [Re: Great Scott]
#23606768 - 09/03/16 01:14 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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That was my bad
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