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Anonymous #1
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Bi-sexuals
#23604252 - 09/02/16 10:43 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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How do deal with the feelings of being bi?
For me, i think i'm predominantly straight but am just so into sex i have no aversion to fucking around with guys. i usually only do it when i'm on a dry spell but there are a few occasions where i fucked dudes while having a g.f. The thing is i feel fine after fucking girls but get this guilty dirty feeling when i fuck guys. I also don't kiss them or get romantic and don't really find men attractive in the traditional sense. it's more that i enjoy the ease of acquiring sex and how laid back about it we are. As long as i don't cum i can fuck a guy, go home, and think nothing of it. Once i cum though i start to think that i am just satisfying an urge with no real underlying connection and should probably just get a girlfriend...but then i remember how much of a headache that was and like i just want to be left alone most of the time except when i get horny and guys are generally more ok with that.
Girls are easier in the sense that i don't have to hide and sneak around when im with them. They are also more cuddly :3. though i have seen a few twinks that look feminine enough that i could see my self snuggling up with them and squeezing on their butt butt.
Where the bi-sexuals at?
Experiences?
Do you tell your girlfriends? because i don't, i feel it may ruin the dynamic. with one girl i KNOW it would have but then again maybe i shouldn't be with someone who'd be so judgemental.
i dunno but i had another thought, it may be the meaningless sex moreso than the gender of whoever i'm fucking, that's starting to get to me.
the last few girls and guys i banged has been strictly physical and i think i miss being in love. There's also the possibility that i'm not really bi but just a sex addict. At least not in the traditional sense since i guess i became bi- the moment i tried out a guy...
I'd appreciate any feedback. Don't judge me too harshly, i know some of the reasoning and insecurities may seem ludicrous but im just being honest with my feelings.
thanks.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Maybe its just societies expectations fucking with you
I don't think anything you said is all that strange, considering how against non-heterosexuality society is. In my book you're bisexual if you can have sex with another man, not a "sex addict" or pervert.
I'll say though, if you have sex with anyone outside of your relationship, your SO should know. As far as being discreet about past experiences, that's your business imo.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks for the response. Yea social pressure probably has alot to do with the feelings of shame and the fact that i know my dad would greatly disapprove.
I think the fact that i give into my urges and fuck someone without knowing or caring about them, sometimes not even their first name, also has a lot to do with it.
But i don't get that shameful feeling when i one night stand with women. I think part of me thinks that i just go to men sometimes because they are easier to deal with and don't have to be courted.
At the same time if there was a woman who was so free with her body it would be a turn off to me.
I think i have a lot of introspective work to do and figure out exactly where i stand.
I also started courting a transsexual(funny,they really are alot like women in their behavior but far more open with their sexuality right off the bat). She has nice boobs and a nice cock so it's like a new and confusing attraction to me. it feels more like a hetero relationship but with all of the advantages of a gay one(i know some say it IS gay and i'd be hard pressed to counter that argument but I've just come to treat transsexuals as women).
i guess i just have to stop indulging in my homosexual side because it makes me feel bad and effects my self esteem.
Whether that's because of society or not i don't know, but i do know i don't like feeling like there's something wrong with me and i do feel alot better about myself when i resist such urges.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
But i don't get that shameful feeling when i one night stand with women. I think part of me thinks that i just go to men sometimes because they are easier to deal with and don't have to be courted.
....
i guess i just have to stop indulging in my homosexual side because it makes me feel bad and effects my self esteem.
Whether that's because of society or not i don't know, but i do know i don't like feeling like there's something wrong with me and i do feel alot better about myself when i resist such urges.
If you can learn to accept the essence of your sexuality, act in accordance with your principles, thereby finding balance in your life, and appreciate each partner you're with, no matter how long you're with them or what you know about them, then I think you will feel much better.
There's no need to be ashamed of your sexuality, in essence we are all free beings experiencing the full breadth of the mystery of life. That's too expansive of a space to get narrowed in on self-judgment which probably comes, partly, from the idea of being rejected.
Accept yourself fully, make the effort to be at your best and you will act purely
best of luck!
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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i dont think any of my feelings need to be "dealt" with and am comfortable with the things I do, although it took some years of self-reflection and self-awareness to become like this
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: Bi-sexuals [Re: Sheekle]
#23607058 - 09/03/16 07:02 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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You've thought a lot about this.
Ask yourself what's making you uncomfortable. Generally, if I can be comfortable with a guy or a girl, sexytimes ensue.
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Anonymous #1
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That was very sweet, thanks!
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Yeah, this life is too short to get hung up on the niggling naggings of your mind. A big part of the reason this world is so messed up is because we do so IMO, and no one ever teaches us how to think clearly and be our pure, true selves.
The hardest part is figuring out what's really you, and what's been conditioned into you by parents/church/peers/culture/etc. Meditation and psychedelics assist me greatly in this respect.
Once you get that bit sorted, I say go ahead with ANYTHING that makes you feel good, as long as it hurts no one else.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Could the shame come from having slept with a guy while having a gf at the time have anything to do with the shame?
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Alyssa
consecrated woman ✝️

Registered: 11/25/14
Posts: 1,517
Last seen: 6 days, 3 hours
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Quote:
Anonymous said: How do deal with the feelings of being bi?
For me, i think i'm predominantly straight but am just so into sex i have no aversion to fucking around with guys. i usually only do it when i'm on a dry spell but there are a few occasions where i fucked dudes while having a g.f. The thing is i feel fine after fucking girls but get this guilty dirty feeling when i fuck guys. I also don't kiss them or get romantic and don't really find men attractive in the traditional sense. it's more that i enjoy the ease of acquiring sex and how laid back about it we are. As long as i don't cum i can fuck a guy, go home, and think nothing of it. Once i cum though i start to think that i am just satisfying an urge with no real underlying connection and should probably just get a girlfriend...but then i remember how much of a headache that was and like i just want to be left alone most of the time except when i get horny and guys are generally more ok with that.
Girls are easier in the sense that i don't have to hide and sneak around when im with them. They are also more cuddly :3. though i have seen a few twinks that look feminine enough that i could see my self snuggling up with them and squeezing on their butt butt.
Where the bi-sexuals at?
Experiences?
Do you tell your girlfriends? because i don't, i feel it may ruin the dynamic. with one girl i KNOW it would have but then again maybe i shouldn't be with someone who'd be so judgemental.
i dunno but i had another thought, it may be the meaningless sex moreso than the gender of whoever i'm fucking, that's starting to get to me.
the last few girls and guys i banged has been strictly physical and i think i miss being in love. There's also the possibility that i'm not really bi but just a sex addict. At least not in the traditional sense since i guess i became bi- the moment i tried out a guy...
I'd appreciate any feedback. Don't judge me too harshly, i know some of the reasoning and insecurities may seem ludicrous but im just being honest with my feelings.
thanks.
You're cheating on your girlfriend if you have sex with someone else without getting her permission first. It doesn't matter if it's gay. Ideally, it would be so obviously permissible that you wouldn't have to ask, but in this world, not everyone is OK with free love.
I'm bi, I don't have any feelings about it in particular. I just love exploring female and male bodies and getting turned on. I've never been in a serious relationship, just casual sex. I'm extremely laid back, except when defending my ideals, so the dynamics you've described are unfamiliar to me. I consider making love a physiological necessity like eating or sleeping.
-------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Bi-sexuals [Re: Alyssa]
#23660850 - 09/20/16 07:04 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well I'll just be open man.
I thought I was bisexual . . .
or gay . . .
or VERY gay . . .
But I am straight, and upon getting this clear in my mind, I filled with energy and vitality.
It's been holding me back. Sucks fucking dick, bro.
MAKE SURE YOU'RE DOING THIS RIGHT
COOL PEOPLE WILL NEVER JUDGE YOU, BUT DON'T LET GOOD INTENTIONS CONVINCE YOU
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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You thought you were "VERY gay", but then decided you're straight?
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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ohcrapitsnico
The Other One


Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 2,720
Loc: Houston
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Re: Bi-sexuals [Re: Sheekle]
#23662074 - 09/20/16 03:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said: i dont think any of my feelings need to be "dealt" with and am comfortable with the things I do, although it took some years of self-reflection and self-awareness to become like this
Wut
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Do you tell your girlfriends? because i don't
On this alone I think you're a disgusting piece of shit.
It's okay to be in control of your sex life but it's disrespectful and selfish of you to be lying to someone about the commitments of a relationship. If you don't want to be in a relationship then don't but don't go treating the people you apparently care about like they or their feelings don't exist.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Bi-sexuals [Re: sudly]
#23662393 - 09/20/16 04:59 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: Do you tell your girlfriends? because i don't
On this alone I think you're a disgusting piece of shit.
It's okay to be in control of your sex life but it's disrespectful and selfish of you to be lying to someone about the commitments of a relationship. If you don't want to be in a relationship then don't but don't go treating the people you apparently care about like they or their feelings don't exist.
OP didn't say anything about cheating on his girlfriend
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: Bi-sexuals [Re: Sheekle]
#23663213 - 09/20/16 09:09 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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As I've said my only issue is if there's a lack of integrity in faking commitments.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Bi-sexuals [Re: Sheekle]
#23663348 - 09/20/16 09:45 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said: You thought you were "VERY gay", but then decided you're straight?
Well it's a unique situation - traumatic brain injury.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,363
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 2 hours, 3 minutes
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Re: Bi-sexuals [Re: Sheekle] 1
#23664086 - 09/21/16 04:12 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said:
Quote:
sudly said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: Do you tell your girlfriends? because i don't
On this alone I think you're a disgusting piece of shit.
It's okay to be in control of your sex life but it's disrespectful and selfish of you to be lying to someone about the commitments of a relationship. If you don't want to be in a relationship then don't but don't go treating the people you apparently care about like they or their feelings don't exist.
OP didn't say anything about cheating on his girlfriend
OP implied that he was sleeping with dudes while he had a GF. But it wasnt said directly.
I think OP is a sex addict and a bi sexual. Not judging, just saying
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All We Perceive
Sea Cucumber



Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 10,491
Last seen: 7 months, 5 days
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I am bisexual. I told my girlfriend early on when we were still kind of dating. Surprisingly, she was all about it. She said that she would be down to watch me fuck another guy if I wanted to. I really have no desire to do that right now. Cool she's open to it though. She fucks me with a strap on sometimes which I really enjoy. Most girls are really freaked out by it so the fact that she is down with it is pretty unusual. You don't sound like a sex addict to me; sounds like you just like the experience. I think a lot more guys would hook up with guys if it was more socially acceptable. Even the gay guys look at bisexual guys with suspicion.
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"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak
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secondorder
Amanda Hug'n'kiss



Registered: 04/05/15
Posts: 532
Loc: Queensland, Australia
Last seen: 9 months, 7 days
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Quote:
I think a lot more guys would hook up with guys if it was more socially acceptable. Even the gay guys look at bisexual guys with suspicion.
This^
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