Home | Community | Message Board

Magic-Mushrooms-Shop.com
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

PhytoExtractum Shop: Buy Bali Kratom Powder

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]
Anonymous #1

My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward)
    #23601982 - 09/01/16 05:33 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

So I was taking care of his place while he was away and I had the place to myself.

There's no time like the present like they say so I decided to treat myself to a palm cocktail while I was between running errands.

In the midst of cranking one out in his living room, his mom casually walks passed the window, peers in and in a flash, I was caught jerk handed.

I tried clumsily to hide my shame wand but it was too late.

My friend failed to tell me that his mom also had a key and is quite curious and quite frankly too nosy for her own good.

She came in and acted reasonably calm considering the circumstances and went about her pottering patrol in a relaxed manner.

As she wanderered around upstairs I had gone tomato red in my big embarrassed face, and I felt mu gullt was sticking out like I had a tomato for a face.

She came down down again and after the ritual small talk, she was off again but before her departure, she asked me would I staying the whole week while my friend was out of town.

When I said yes, the corners of her lips curved ever so slightly upwards and I couldve sworn I saw that cougar glint in her eyes before she made off.

I am thinking there's a 40/60 chance.

Cougar meat is pretty rare when you only have access to chicken every day.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23602024 - 09/01/16 05:53 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Shes a greenlight


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #3

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #23602394 - 09/01/16 07:24 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

dude she still came into an awkward situation than asked about your schedule. youre solid


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #4

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #23603701 - 09/02/16 04:47 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Best story I've read in awhile. Better update with details if anything happens bromandude.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #23603758 - 09/02/16 05:51 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

DSHSB. There is no cougar meat. You are the cougar's meat. If this story is true, get up on it.

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Shes a greenlight




If true yup. I do wonder, however, why dude's mother wouldn't have a key. This sounds like every penthouse letter out there.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #6

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #5] * 1
    #23605693 - 09/02/16 06:33 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Did you bang your friends mom yet? Is she hot? Or old and momish?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23605825 - 09/02/16 07:14 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

so, your boyfriend is away and his mom catches you jerking it. you cover up and go red like a chinaman drinking moonshine. then later, you make small talk and leave?

:dudewtf: :zomgwtf: :homerdoh3:

There's gonna be a lot more of

:spankthemonkey:

In your future OP!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #8

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #23606836 - 09/03/16 02:08 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

DSHSB


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #9

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #23606883 - 09/03/16 03:27 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

You should have asked if she could give you a Hand with something(cue porn music) :eek:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #10

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #23606922 - 09/03/16 04:17 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Should have asked if you could finish on her face.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #23607068 - 09/03/16 07:04 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I've still got four days left here.

I lit up scented candles yesterday around the same time as she had dropped by the day before.

I even put on my Mack shirt, dusted off some Barry white vinyls, put on some modest cologne and had a bottle of wine on standby but I've picked up no scent so far.

I am getting ravenous and I'd believe she'd pick up my pheromones from the moment she steps out of her car.

If she turns up, I am going to slather on the Mack.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #11

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23609570 - 09/03/16 09:57 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

I am thinking there's a 40/60 chance.

Cougar meat is pretty rare when you only have access to chicken every day.




:gooby:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #12

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23612607 - 09/04/16 08:23 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I've still got four days left here.

I lit up scented candles yesterday around the same time as she had dropped by the day before.

I even put on my Mack shirt, dusted off some Barry white vinyls, put on some modest cologne and had a bottle of wine on standby but I've picked up no scent so far.

I am getting ravenous and I'd believe she'd pick up my pheromones from the moment she steps out of her car.

If she turns up, I am going to slather on the Mack.




60% of the time it works every time.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #12] * 4
    #23612672 - 09/04/16 08:42 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

It is too bad this isn't real.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23613950 - 09/05/16 07:28 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I've still got four days left here.

I lit up scented candles yesterday around the same time as she had dropped by the day before.

I even put on my Mack shirt, dusted off some Barry white vinyls, put on some modest cologne and had a bottle of wine on standby but I've picked up no scent so far.

I am getting ravenous and I'd believe she'd pick up my pheromones from the moment she steps out of her car.

If she turns up, I am going to slather on the Mack.




You are wasting your time OP. You have got about a snowballs chance in hell. For fuck sake, just reading what you have written,

:canthelpbutlaugh:

Reminds me of..



But, hey, this should help when :spankthemonkey: loses it's spark



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #13

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #23614872 - 09/05/16 01:46 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Troll thread.

If situation was real op would have called her already and ask her if she could come over and help him find a pot to boil some water.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #23634752 - 09/11/16 05:38 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Hope had long been given up so while reverting back to palmela handerson, that teasing cougar strolled passed that window again.

This time was more awkward as she addressed the subject directly and said she would've thought I'd have been more covert had the urge struck again.

I told her I was in my prime and I need a helping hand.

She told me I needed to get out.

I told her that would be a valid compromise.

That glint of cougar that I had previously seen in her eyes was long gone. Now was only disappointment and contempt.

She observed me go to the door and leave like I was a hound which just defecated all over the new carpet and had a sudden flash of insight into its own primitivity.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23635188 - 09/11/16 10:01 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:eject:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #14

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #23638208 - 09/12/16 10:42 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Hope had long been given up so while reverting back to palmela handerson, that teasing cougar strolled passed that window again.

This time was more awkward as she addressed the subject directly and said she would've thought I'd have been more covert had the urge struck again.

I told her I was in my prime and I need a helping hand.

She told me I needed to get out.

I told her that would be a valid compromise.

That glint of cougar that I had previously seen in her eyes was long gone. Now was only disappointment and contempt.

She observed me go to the door and leave like I was a hound which just defecated all over the new carpet and had a sudden flash of insight into its own primitivity.





i'm curious as to why you are masturbating in front of a window without blinds/curtains or something


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #23648731 - 09/15/16 08:21 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #14 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Hope had long been given up so while reverting back to palmela handerson, that teasing cougar strolled passed that window again.

This time was more awkward as she addressed the subject directly and said she would've thought I'd have been more covert had the urge struck again.

I told her I was in my prime and I need a helping hand.

She told me I needed to get out.

I told her that would be a valid compromise.

That glint of cougar that I had previously seen in her eyes was long gone. Now was only disappointment and contempt.

She observed me go to the door and leave like I was a hound which just defecated all over the new carpet and had a sudden flash of insight into its own primitivity.





i'm curious as to why you are masturbating in front of a window without blinds/curtains or something




I am a deviant.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #14

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23648866 - 09/15/16 09:39 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #14 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Hope had long been given up so while reverting back to palmela handerson, that teasing cougar strolled passed that window again.

This time was more awkward as she addressed the subject directly and said she would've thought I'd have been more covert had the urge struck again.

I told her I was in my prime and I need a helping hand.

She told me I needed to get out.

I told her that would be a valid compromise.

That glint of cougar that I had previously seen in her eyes was long gone. Now was only disappointment and contempt.

She observed me go to the door and leave like I was a hound which just defecated all over the new carpet and had a sudden flash of insight into its own primitivity.





i'm curious as to why you are masturbating in front of a window without blinds/curtains or something




I am a deviant.






deviants aren't ashamed of their actions when they're caught


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #15

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #23651941 - 09/17/16 12:48 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

You gotta feed that cougar man, but don't be surprised if she bites your hand off.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #13

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #23656358 - 09/18/16 05:16 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:lol:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #23660758 - 09/20/16 05:47 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #14 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #14 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Hope had long been given up so while reverting back to palmela handerson, that teasing cougar strolled passed that window again.

This time was more awkward as she addressed the subject directly and said she would've thought I'd have been more covert had the urge struck again.

I told her I was in my prime and I need a helping hand.

She told me I needed to get out.

I told her that would be a valid compromise.

That glint of cougar that I had previously seen in her eyes was long gone. Now was only disappointment and contempt.

She observed me go to the door and leave like I was a hound which just defecated all over the new carpet and had a sudden flash of insight into its own primitivity.





i'm curious as to why you are masturbating in front of a window without blinds/curtains or something




I am a deviant.






deviants aren't ashamed of their actions when they're caught




If this is true, then the description isn't accurate.

I like to take risks then. The risk of getting caught is exciting but actually getting caught is not the objective.

I really don't think my friends mom said anything to him as I don't think he could keep that to himself without making some kind of joke.

Maybe the hunt is still on.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: My friends mom saw me as I was jerking it(awkward) [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23660791 - 09/20/16 06:19 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Maybe the hunt is still on.




:androidlol:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]

PhytoExtractum Shop: Buy Bali Kratom Powder


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Cougar Meat Anonymous 372 17 09/09/08 06:25 PM
by Anonymous
* Cougars Anonymous 224 5 12/06/07 03:15 PM
by Anonymous
* Gonna be partying with ALOT of underage girls
( 1 2 3 all )
Anonymous 1,584 45 10/11/08 09:30 PM
by Anonymous
* Th Abortion Poll
( 1 2 all )
Anonymous 1,163 36 11/26/08 05:15 PM
by Anonymous
* So I am an older woman
( 1 2 all )
Anonymous 1,039 28 10/26/07 05:15 PM
by Anonymous

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: trendal, Shroomism, george castanza, Alan Rockefeller, yogabunny
714 topic views. 0 members, 1 guests and 4 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.032 seconds spending 0.012 seconds on 14 queries.