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OfflineSpace Yeezy
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Registered: 08/28/16
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Having sex with a girl on the fourth day
    #23597289 - 08/31/16 12:26 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

At Electric Forest I met this really sexy she-wook on the fourth day.

I was hanging out with  my friends on the campgrounds and I was with my girlfriend but my girlfriend was throwing a hissy fit. I had taken acid the night before and was tripping nutsack during String Cheese Incident and started making monkey noises during their set and she got mad at me cuz I was killing her vibe and not letting her enjoy Cheese and she wasn't talking to me that morning. When I came down from my trip and woke up after the crazy storm that happened that night I scooted next to her in the tent and started fondling her tits but she slapped me and told me to fuck off and so I left the tent and went to go chill at the canopy with my other friends.

There was this wookette there. She was extremely grimey and filthy, she was sun burned, she had long crusty blonde dreads, she had acne all over her body and on her tits, and she was literally only wearing a bra and some hippie boho skirt or something. This bitch looked permaspun, she literally looked like the filthiest she-wook on earth.

I instantly wanted to bang her.

So what better way to get a wook bitch in bed?

Ketamine

I busted out a half gram of K and sat next to her and asked if she wanted to sniff some with me. She was like "Fuck yea man, lets do this shit".

I grab my spoon necklace and load a fat bowl and sniff it and then load another and sniff it too. I give her two spoon fulls of k as well.

10 minutes or so later I start to feel numb as fuck and I can't feel my face and I start feeling weird and loose and typical K effects. I start talking to the wookette and we have a really weird conversation. She starts pretending to be Australian by talking like they do and I ask her if she is from New Zealand and she asks me if thats the planet that Wompas are from.

Anyway the conversation was really weird and I'm zooted as fuck. But anyway I ask her if she wants to go fuck after the K wears off a bit. She says yes, and around 70 minutes later the K is wearing off enough for us to walk around without falling over and for me to get my dick hard enough.

I go to her tent and it smells like shit and patchouli. It smells like a dead possum in there. There is other gross looking smelly zooted out wooks sleeping in the tent and its pathetic and ghastly sight.

The wookette takes her bra off and I see all the acne on her chest and tits, and then her nipples are revealed and they super girthy and thick salami looking nipples. There is small bumps all over her areola. She takes off her skirt and there is acne and stretch marks all over he body and legs.

So after she undresses I wip out my dick and she gets right to sucking and fondling it. I still feel the Ketamine in my body so it takes me a solid 2 minutes for my dick to get hard, in the mean time she is sucking and fondling my limp dick and licking my foreskin and tasting all my dick cheese.

So I get hard and she gives me a heavenly blow job. She slobbers all over my cock like a lollipop. My dick is drenched in wookette drool and this bitch is just eating my dick hard. I cum and it I can feel all my jizz go inside this she wooks throat. She swalled it all and licked all of it off.

After this awesome blow job she gives me a rimjob for a few minutes and by that point I'm ready to fuck this sloppy and disgusting wookettes brains out.

I flip her over and stick my cock inside her hairy blonde pussy that unmistakably smells like dead fish and wet carpet. Her pussy is as loose as a sleeve, it felt like I was sticking my dick inside a sock. But it was still getting the job done to the extent. I could feel the sloppy seconds in her pussy, it was gross but I powered through and drilled her even harder.

Finally I cum a second time and then cuddle with the smelly and sloppy she-wook. I take out a joint from my backpack and smoke it with her and then leave back to my friends an hour later and see my girlfriend there at the canopy.

Anyway a few days later I think about the sex and realize it was the most disgusting thing I ever did. I feel ashamed that I had sex with such a gross human being. I mean the sex was bomb but it was still really nasty and I feel ashamed that I stooped so low.

The Moral of the story is dont have sex with dirty wooks on the fourth day of the festival.


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Invisibleabltsandwich
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy]
    #23597299 - 08/31/16 12:29 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

How does your girlfriend feel about this?


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 3
    #23597304 - 08/31/16 12:31 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

heh i bet u never even touched her *flips through anatomy book* clietortoise

fuckin noob


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OfflineSpace Yeezy
∆∞Trifinite Destruction∞∆


Registered: 08/28/16
Posts: 26
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: abltsandwich]
    #23597306 - 08/31/16 12:32 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Well no one in the group told her and I didn't either. She was asleep in the tent and her tent was far from our camp


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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 3
    #23597313 - 08/31/16 12:36 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

You should be a writer.


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Invisibleeeso
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 3
    #23597316 - 08/31/16 12:36 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

So you're a cheating sack of shit then..


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Offlineak47myth
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 1
    #23597331 - 08/31/16 12:40 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

What the fuck is a wook?

I dont do festivals.


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Invisibleabltsandwich
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: ak47myth] * 2
    #23597342 - 08/31/16 12:44 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

A wet book.


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OfflineSpace Yeezy
∆∞Trifinite Destruction∞∆


Registered: 08/28/16
Posts: 26
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: ak47myth]
    #23597343 - 08/31/16 12:44 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Short for Wookie aka smelly, dirty, scummy, dread lock having hippies.

Pretty much just really grimy and dirty hippies who go to festivals for all the wrong reasons like free drugs.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy]
    #23597365 - 08/31/16 12:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

hahaha you are a good writer. why cheat on your gf man? She wouldn't appreaciate that?

Either way, that sounds filthy. Call me a homo but I go for that au naturelle type myself. Your call tho. Sounds unpleasant

if these "wooks" eat clean and healthy why do they have acne? and stretch marks? and look ugly? I don't get it


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Offlinekaste
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: eeso]
    #23597368 - 08/31/16 12:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I'm way too grounded for this kind of shit. :lol:


--------------------


It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.


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OfflineLa Flama Blanca
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy]
    #23597387 - 08/31/16 12:55 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

holy christ lol. what about her body fat percentage though? like what was her BMI? slightly chubby? fat? height and weight proportionate? just curious, either way she was not a good lookin lass lol.


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OfflineSpace Yeezy
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Posts: 26
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: La Flama Blanca]
    #23597400 - 08/31/16 12:58 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

She was kind of chubby, not but she was kind of chubby. I was grabbing on to her love handles the whole time while drilling her


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Invisibleplasma
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Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 10,001
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: La Flama Blanca] * 2
    #23597401 - 08/31/16 12:58 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Foul move OP, did you manage to clear out all the dingleberries and crusty jizz stains from around her vagine area before entering? Or did you just smash it all the way it was


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: plasma] * 1
    #23597410 - 08/31/16 01:00 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

he smashed the dingleberries, congealed jizz, vaginal crust, and yeast infection discharge right into her pussy and mixed it up with his micropeen and then drained it into a martini glass and garnished his drink with some of her menstrual blood


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Offlinedesant
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: kaste]
    #23597412 - 08/31/16 01:01 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

eeso said:
So you're a cheating sack of shit then..






No he's not


Great stoner story :congrats:


--------------------


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: something super extreme] * 1
    #23597419 - 08/31/16 01:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

8.3554/10. Would read again.


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Dark_Star]
    #23597423 - 08/31/16 01:04 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

fuuuuck dude you're gonna make me work for that 10/10.


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Invisibleeeso
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: desant]
    #23597454 - 08/31/16 01:14 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

How the fuck is he not desant? He's admitted to it.


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Offlinedesant
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: eeso]
    #23597464 - 08/31/16 01:15 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

He was wrong to say that cos he got distracted


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: eeso]
    #23597469 - 08/31/16 01:17 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

eeso, you're taking this far too seriously brah.

sVs, yeah man my standards are pretty high. I know you can pull it off though. In other news, I have to pee again. I've been peeing a lot today & all I drank was two cups of coffee.


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OfflineCamwritesgonzo
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Dark_Star]
    #23597494 - 08/31/16 01:25 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Speaking of which, I have the pefect song to go with the op


--------------------
"I've always maintained that reality is for those who can't face drugs."-Tom Waits
"I feel the same way about disco as I feel about herpes."-Hunter S. Thompson
A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: something super extreme] * 3
    #23597514 - 08/31/16 01:31 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

something super extreme said:
he smashed the dingleberries, congealed jizz, vaginal crust, and yeast infection discharge right into her pussy and mixed it up with his micropeen and then drained it into a martini glass and garnished his drink with some of her menstrual blood





Continuing where we left off, our protagonist took the fetid mixture of bodily discharges and swished it around in his mouth, allowing the sticky mixture to permeate his taste buds and coat his mouth.
After a few minute, the pungency was overwhelming. He vomited the mixture of foul fluids right into the mouth and all over the stinky dreads of his partner, along with shooting out many boogers.

"Mmmmmm" said the stanky wook, "dinner is here". She greedily began sucking the shit, jizz, discharge, blood, boogers, and vomit out of her dreads, garling the unholy mixture in her mouth like some listerine. Open wide!!! she screamed at Space Yeezy

He began to scream but opening his mouth proved to be his downfall. She began to hurl the mixture back into his mouth, provoking a chain reaction and massive vomit snowball between the two of them.
Eventually it become too disgusting and SY could hold on no longer.

He began jizzing furiously, coating the wook, while also irresistibly blasting a massive 2' long turd out of his anus.
The wook greedily added these latest contributions to the massive snowball, now threatening to engulf the entire festival.

To be continued...


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OfflineSpace Yeezy
∆∞Trifinite Destruction∞∆


Registered: 08/28/16
Posts: 26
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: something super extreme]
    #23597534 - 08/31/16 01:34 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

something super extreme said:
Quote:

something super extreme said:
he smashed the dingleberries, congealed jizz, vaginal crust, and yeast infection discharge right into her pussy and mixed it up with his micropeen and then drained it into a martini glass and garnished his drink with some of her menstrual blood





Continuing where we left off, our protagonist took the fetid mixture of bodily discharges and swished it around in his mouth, allowing the sticky mixture to permeate his taste buds and coat his mouth.
After a few minute, the pungency was overwhelming. He vomited the mixture of foul fluids right into the mouth and all over the stinky dreads of his partner, along with shooting out many boogers.

"Mmmmmm" said the stanky wook, "dinner is here". She greedily began sucking the shit, jizz, discharge, blood, boogers, and vomit out of her dreads, garling the unholy mixture in her mouth like some listerine. Open wide!!! she screamed at Space Yeezy

He began to scream but opening his mouth proved to be his downfall. She began to hurl the mixture back into his mouth, provoking a chain reaction and massive vomit snowball between the two of them.
Eventually it become too disgusting and SY could hold on no longer.

He began jizzing furiously, coating the wook, while also irresistibly blasting a massive 2' long turd out of his anus.
The wook greedily added these latest contributions to the massive snowball, now threatening to engulf the entire festival.

To be continued...



Yum :crazy2:


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 1
    #23597683 - 08/31/16 02:19 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

OP is a puppet of jankytits


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Sheekle]
    #23597743 - 08/31/16 02:35 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

He is a good writer....I LMAO. Whether it was true or not...very funny.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #23597793 - 08/31/16 02:48 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

That wookette probably gave him the clap


--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: OhMrJohnson]
    #23597801 - 08/31/16 02:50 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

That would be my guess


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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