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OfflineSpace Yeezy
∆∞Trifinite Destruction∞∆


Registered: 08/28/16
Posts: 26
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Having sex with a girl on the fourth day
    #23597289 - 08/31/16 12:26 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

At Electric Forest I met this really sexy she-wook on the fourth day.

I was hanging out with  my friends on the campgrounds and I was with my girlfriend but my girlfriend was throwing a hissy fit. I had taken acid the night before and was tripping nutsack during String Cheese Incident and started making monkey noises during their set and she got mad at me cuz I was killing her vibe and not letting her enjoy Cheese and she wasn't talking to me that morning. When I came down from my trip and woke up after the crazy storm that happened that night I scooted next to her in the tent and started fondling her tits but she slapped me and told me to fuck off and so I left the tent and went to go chill at the canopy with my other friends.

There was this wookette there. She was extremely grimey and filthy, she was sun burned, she had long crusty blonde dreads, she had acne all over her body and on her tits, and she was literally only wearing a bra and some hippie boho skirt or something. This bitch looked permaspun, she literally looked like the filthiest she-wook on earth.

I instantly wanted to bang her.

So what better way to get a wook bitch in bed?

Ketamine

I busted out a half gram of K and sat next to her and asked if she wanted to sniff some with me. She was like "Fuck yea man, lets do this shit".

I grab my spoon necklace and load a fat bowl and sniff it and then load another and sniff it too. I give her two spoon fulls of k as well.

10 minutes or so later I start to feel numb as fuck and I can't feel my face and I start feeling weird and loose and typical K effects. I start talking to the wookette and we have a really weird conversation. She starts pretending to be Australian by talking like they do and I ask her if she is from New Zealand and she asks me if thats the planet that Wompas are from.

Anyway the conversation was really weird and I'm zooted as fuck. But anyway I ask her if she wants to go fuck after the K wears off a bit. She says yes, and around 70 minutes later the K is wearing off enough for us to walk around without falling over and for me to get my dick hard enough.

I go to her tent and it smells like shit and patchouli. It smells like a dead possum in there. There is other gross looking smelly zooted out wooks sleeping in the tent and its pathetic and ghastly sight.

The wookette takes her bra off and I see all the acne on her chest and tits, and then her nipples are revealed and they super girthy and thick salami looking nipples. There is small bumps all over her areola. She takes off her skirt and there is acne and stretch marks all over he body and legs.

So after she undresses I wip out my dick and she gets right to sucking and fondling it. I still feel the Ketamine in my body so it takes me a solid 2 minutes for my dick to get hard, in the mean time she is sucking and fondling my limp dick and licking my foreskin and tasting all my dick cheese.

So I get hard and she gives me a heavenly blow job. She slobbers all over my cock like a lollipop. My dick is drenched in wookette drool and this bitch is just eating my dick hard. I cum and it I can feel all my jizz go inside this she wooks throat. She swalled it all and licked all of it off.

After this awesome blow job she gives me a rimjob for a few minutes and by that point I'm ready to fuck this sloppy and disgusting wookettes brains out.

I flip her over and stick my cock inside her hairy blonde pussy that unmistakably smells like dead fish and wet carpet. Her pussy is as loose as a sleeve, it felt like I was sticking my dick inside a sock. But it was still getting the job done to the extent. I could feel the sloppy seconds in her pussy, it was gross but I powered through and drilled her even harder.

Finally I cum a second time and then cuddle with the smelly and sloppy she-wook. I take out a joint from my backpack and smoke it with her and then leave back to my friends an hour later and see my girlfriend there at the canopy.

Anyway a few days later I think about the sex and realize it was the most disgusting thing I ever did. I feel ashamed that I had sex with such a gross human being. I mean the sex was bomb but it was still really nasty and I feel ashamed that I stooped so low.

The Moral of the story is dont have sex with dirty wooks on the fourth day of the festival.


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Invisibleabltsandwich
JFK = Jelly Donut
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Posts: 11,537
Loc: Dildoville
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy]
    #23597299 - 08/31/16 12:29 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

How does your girlfriend feel about this?


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
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Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 3
    #23597304 - 08/31/16 12:31 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

heh i bet u never even touched her *flips through anatomy book* clietortoise

fuckin noob


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OfflineSpace Yeezy
∆∞Trifinite Destruction∞∆


Registered: 08/28/16
Posts: 26
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: abltsandwich]
    #23597306 - 08/31/16 12:32 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Well no one in the group told her and I didn't either. She was asleep in the tent and her tent was far from our camp


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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 3
    #23597313 - 08/31/16 12:36 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

You should be a writer.


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Invisibleeeso
Str@nger
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Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 554
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 3
    #23597316 - 08/31/16 12:36 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

So you're a cheating sack of shit then..


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Offlineak47myth
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Registered: 08/04/11
Posts: 1,306
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy] * 1
    #23597331 - 08/31/16 12:40 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

What the fuck is a wook?

I dont do festivals.


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Invisibleabltsandwich
JFK = Jelly Donut
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/16/09
Posts: 11,537
Loc: Dildoville
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: ak47myth] * 2
    #23597342 - 08/31/16 12:44 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

A wet book.


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OfflineSpace Yeezy
∆∞Trifinite Destruction∞∆


Registered: 08/28/16
Posts: 26
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: ak47myth]
    #23597343 - 08/31/16 12:44 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Short for Wookie aka smelly, dirty, scummy, dread lock having hippies.

Pretty much just really grimy and dirty hippies who go to festivals for all the wrong reasons like free drugs.


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Offlinetopdog82
Death Spirit
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Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
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Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy]
    #23597365 - 08/31/16 12:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

hahaha you are a good writer. why cheat on your gf man? She wouldn't appreaciate that?

Either way, that sounds filthy. Call me a homo but I go for that au naturelle type myself. Your call tho. Sounds unpleasant

if these "wooks" eat clean and healthy why do they have acne? and stretch marks? and look ugly? I don't get it


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Offlinekaste
six-nine power slider
Male


Registered: 12/29/08
Posts: 2,401
Loc: Latvia Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: eeso]
    #23597368 - 08/31/16 12:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I'm way too grounded for this kind of shit. :lol:


--------------------


It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.


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OfflineLa Flama Blanca
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Registered: 01/15/16
Posts: 487
Last seen: 10 months, 28 days
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Space Yeezy]
    #23597387 - 08/31/16 12:55 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

holy christ lol. what about her body fat percentage though? like what was her BMI? slightly chubby? fat? height and weight proportionate? just curious, either way she was not a good lookin lass lol.


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OfflineSpace Yeezy
∆∞Trifinite Destruction∞∆


Registered: 08/28/16
Posts: 26
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: La Flama Blanca]
    #23597400 - 08/31/16 12:58 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

She was kind of chubby, not but she was kind of chubby. I was grabbing on to her love handles the whole time while drilling her


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Invisibleplasma
ɹoʇɐɹǝpoɯ

Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 10,001
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: La Flama Blanca] * 2
    #23597401 - 08/31/16 12:58 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Foul move OP, did you manage to clear out all the dingleberries and crusty jizz stains from around her vagine area before entering? Or did you just smash it all the way it was


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
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Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: plasma] * 1
    #23597410 - 08/31/16 01:00 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

he smashed the dingleberries, congealed jizz, vaginal crust, and yeast infection discharge right into her pussy and mixed it up with his micropeen and then drained it into a martini glass and garnished his drink with some of her menstrual blood


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Offlinedesant
Pleiadian Revolutionary
Male


Registered: 03/31/09
Posts: 7,038
Loc: Aether
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: kaste]
    #23597412 - 08/31/16 01:01 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

eeso said:
So you're a cheating sack of shit then..






No he's not


Great stoner story :congrats:


--------------------


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InvisibleDark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: something super extreme] * 1
    #23597419 - 08/31/16 01:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

8.3554/10. Would read again.


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: Dark_Star]
    #23597423 - 08/31/16 01:04 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

fuuuuck dude you're gonna make me work for that 10/10.


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Invisibleeeso
Str@nger
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Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 554
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: desant]
    #23597454 - 08/31/16 01:14 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

How the fuck is he not desant? He's admitted to it.


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Offlinedesant
Pleiadian Revolutionary
Male


Registered: 03/31/09
Posts: 7,038
Loc: Aether
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Having sex with a girl on the fourth day [Re: eeso]
    #23597464 - 08/31/16 01:15 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

He was wrong to say that cos he got distracted


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