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Invisiblelavod
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I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home * 2
    #23593242 - 08/30/16 11:03 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

There's this house i deliver to quite frequently.  A few weeks ago i saw a stone outside this house that had a shape somewhat reminiscent ov a cock/dildo.  I did'nt pick it up at the time and had forgotten about it.  Well this last Friday i was delivering(Drunk off my gourd since i decided to break my sobriety with the boss and co-workers on commercial moonshine), and had a stop at this house.  As soon as i exited i saw the stone dildo was still there, so i scooped it up and put it inside my car out ov intrigue.

I'm not very fond ov dildos.  Fingers and cocks in, poop out is my general policy nowadays.  However, due to the interest in this finding, i decided to break it in last night.  Since it is not flexible i did'nt stick it all the way in, just about halfway at most.  It felt good to my boipussy and i was able to reach the climatic sploosh with relative haste.

Strange that a stone came to this formation.  Or maybe it's a space turd like joe dirt's buddy and it found its new home out ov coincidence.  Like, "If you build it, they will come" and if you build it, they will cum.



Props to whoever knows what language i was writing in on the background paper.


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593248 - 08/30/16 11:05 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

did u eat ur smeg after u was done


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InvisiblePatrickKn
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme] * 1
    #23593251 - 08/30/16 11:07 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Hope you're up to date on your tetanus shots.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme]
    #23593253 - 08/30/16 11:07 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

What is that writing? Is that Elvish?


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods] * 3
    #23593256 - 08/30/16 11:08 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
What is that writing? Is that Elvish?




Schizophrenish.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme]
    #23593262 - 08/30/16 11:10 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:laugh2:


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods] * 2
    #23593267 - 08/30/16 11:13 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

That's Chinese.

It says: dick shaped stone will outlive sore butt long time.


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Offline28064212
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593270 - 08/30/16 11:15 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:ilold:


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: 28064212] * 1
    #23593373 - 08/30/16 11:48 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Gives new meaning to the phrase "getting stoned".

I bet your neighbour is pissed off cause he didnt get his Rock Hard dildo :lol:

Next buy: italian marble va-jay-jay


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23593407 - 08/30/16 11:57 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I find it hard to believe lavod couldn't take the whole thing


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblelavod
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods]
    #23593440 - 08/30/16 12:05 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Well i could have, i just did'nt want to.  I am tighter than i used to be though.

Maybe i actually unearthed an ancient dildo!  Like this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4713323.stm

The writing is in Enochian.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593463 - 08/30/16 12:14 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Did you use lube?


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593467 - 08/30/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

where the hell is Enochian from? Is it fictional or real?


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23593481 - 08/30/16 12:20 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

It's fake. Like the dick.


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblelavod
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods]
    #23593543 - 08/30/16 12:40 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

It's very real.  My enochian working was one ov my most powerful magickal experiences: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/7779888


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Invisiblenooneman
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23593658 - 08/30/16 01:11 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:


Enochian is a name often applied to an occult or angelic language recorded in the private journals of John Dee and his colleague Edward Kelley in late 16th-century England. Kelley was a spirit medium who worked with Dee in his magical investigations.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enochian

So yeah, it's a made up language.


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Invisiblelavod
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: nooneman] * 3
    #23593965 - 08/30/16 02:47 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

nooneman said:
Quote:


Enochian is a name often applied to an occult or angelic language recorded in the private journals of John Dee and his colleague Edward Kelley in late 16th-century England. Kelley was a spirit medium who worked with Dee in his magical investigations.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enochian

So yeah, it's a made up language.




How can a language exist if it's not made up?


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593975 - 08/30/16 02:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:strokebeard:


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594180 - 08/30/16 03:56 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I just wanted to offer congratulations to you lavod but I have a question:

Where the fuck are the pics?  :crankey:  All I see is a rock on a paper full of jibberish.


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Offlineclock_of_omens
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594385 - 08/30/16 05:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

What kind of company allows you to drink and drive your deliveries out? Sounds like a bad company.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23594394 - 08/30/16 05:06 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
I just wanted to offer congratulations to you lavod but I have a question:

Where the fuck are the pics?  :crankey:  All I see is a rock on a paper full of jibberish.



Good point. I wanna see pics of Lavod shitting out that rock


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Offlinestarfire_xes
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods]
    #23594415 - 08/30/16 05:10 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

In Okinawa, they have Cock Altars where women pray for a baby.  They have an altar just about anywhere, in a park or beside the road, and inside is a great big stone cock and balls.  Bet OP wouldn't take one of those big fuckers up his ass. :awesomenod:


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:smug: [/url][/url] 
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Invisiblelavod
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: clock_of_omens]
    #23594489 - 08/30/16 05:39 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

clock_of_omens said:
What kind of company allows you to drink and drive your deliveries out? Sounds like a bad company.




One that trusts me since i'm a better driver and delivery person with alcohol in my system than most would be without.  I've had food at peoples' doors so fast at times before, i've had them questioning reality.  My job is badass, i'm well liked by my co-workers and customers, and i have police immunity within the delivery area for DUIs.


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Invisible1234go
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594495 - 08/30/16 05:40 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Did you lube your boipussy? Koods and I want to know.


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Invisiblelavod
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: 1234go]
    #23594524 - 08/30/16 05:47 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Why yes i did :smile:.  I'm not about to stick a stone up my pussy without it being slippery like an eel for good feel.


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Invisible1234go
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594528 - 08/30/16 05:48 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Slippery like an electric eel.


Edited by 1234go (08/30/16 05:53 PM)


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: 1234go]
    #23594535 - 08/30/16 05:50 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

im my own butt


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Invisible1234go
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme]
    #23594560 - 08/30/16 05:54 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

We all yearn to be our own.


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Invisiblelavod
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: 1234go]
    #23594564 - 08/30/16 05:55 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

1234go said:
Slippery like an electric eel.




Maybe i can rig it for vibrational functionality.


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594567 - 08/30/16 05:55 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

You can heat it up


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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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InvisibleBoomer The Great
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594584 - 08/30/16 05:57 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

It's "of" not "ov"

You spell every other goddamn word right in everyone of your posts. But yet you always use "ov" :crankey:

:lol:


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: Boomer The Great]
    #23594587 - 08/30/16 05:58 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)



--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: Boomer The Great]
    #23594589 - 08/30/16 05:59 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

yea it really pisses me the fuck off, smeg munching butt puncher and his fucking ov bullshit USE THE FUCKING LETTER F IT'S NOT THAT GOD DAMNED FUCKING DIFFICULT, SHIT!!!!


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Invisible1234go
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme] * 1
    #23594599 - 08/30/16 06:00 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I find it very endearing.


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme]
    #23594600 - 08/30/16 06:01 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Is it possible you're finally going to end your sappy ass shitstreak and become the asshole that we had come to expect?


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23594606 - 08/30/16 06:02 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

only time will tell


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme]
    #23594612 - 08/30/16 06:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

something super extreme said:
yea it really pisses me the fuck off, smeg munching butt puncher and his fucking ov bullshit USE THE FUCKING LETTER F IT'S NOT THAT GOD DAMNED FUCKING DIFFICULT, SHIT!!!!




bet his name is actually lafod


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23594617 - 08/30/16 06:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Or george


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Invisiblelavod
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23594658 - 08/30/16 06:13 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Lavod is my name as lover and has a value ov 111 in accordance to gematria.  My names as man and woman ov earth are Kevin and Kiki respectively.  My name as hermit is secret and will not be exposed.


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594669 - 08/30/16 06:15 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

So your names Kevin, but when you play witch in your seal pajamas you call yourself one of four other names.

And I'm not knocking on the seal jams, they sound lovely.


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Invisiblelavod
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23594732 - 08/30/16 06:27 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I'm called either Kevin or Panda in the seal onesies.  Panda is the nickname my lovers and some friends call me, i forgot about that one.  One co-worker also calls me Cuddles.


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