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Invisiblelavod
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Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
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I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home * 2
    #23593242 - 08/30/16 11:03 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

There's this house i deliver to quite frequently.  A few weeks ago i saw a stone outside this house that had a shape somewhat reminiscent ov a cock/dildo.  I did'nt pick it up at the time and had forgotten about it.  Well this last Friday i was delivering(Drunk off my gourd since i decided to break my sobriety with the boss and co-workers on commercial moonshine), and had a stop at this house.  As soon as i exited i saw the stone dildo was still there, so i scooped it up and put it inside my car out ov intrigue.

I'm not very fond ov dildos.  Fingers and cocks in, poop out is my general policy nowadays.  However, due to the interest in this finding, i decided to break it in last night.  Since it is not flexible i did'nt stick it all the way in, just about halfway at most.  It felt good to my boipussy and i was able to reach the climatic sploosh with relative haste.

Strange that a stone came to this formation.  Or maybe it's a space turd like joe dirt's buddy and it found its new home out ov coincidence.  Like, "If you build it, they will come" and if you build it, they will cum.



Props to whoever knows what language i was writing in on the background paper.


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
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Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593248 - 08/30/16 11:05 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

did u eat ur smeg after u was done


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InvisiblePatrickKn
I'm a teapot


Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,564
Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme] * 1
    #23593251 - 08/30/16 11:07 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Hope you're up to date on your tetanus shots.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme]
    #23593253 - 08/30/16 11:07 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

What is that writing? Is that Elvish?


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods] * 3
    #23593256 - 08/30/16 11:08 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
What is that writing? Is that Elvish?




Schizophrenish.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: something super extreme]
    #23593262 - 08/30/16 11:10 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:laugh2:


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
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Registered: 11/09/08
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods] * 2
    #23593267 - 08/30/16 11:13 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

That's Chinese.

It says: dick shaped stone will outlive sore butt long time.


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Offline28064212
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593270 - 08/30/16 11:15 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:ilold:


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: 28064212] * 1
    #23593373 - 08/30/16 11:48 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Gives new meaning to the phrase "getting stoned".

I bet your neighbour is pissed off cause he didnt get his Rock Hard dildo :lol:

Next buy: italian marble va-jay-jay


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23593407 - 08/30/16 11:57 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I find it hard to believe lavod couldn't take the whole thing


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblelavod
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Registered: 06/23/06
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods]
    #23593440 - 08/30/16 12:05 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Well i could have, i just did'nt want to.  I am tighter than i used to be though.

Maybe i actually unearthed an ancient dildo!  Like this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4713323.stm

The writing is in Enochian.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593463 - 08/30/16 12:14 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Did you use lube?


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593467 - 08/30/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

where the hell is Enochian from? Is it fictional or real?


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23593481 - 08/30/16 12:20 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

It's fake. Like the dick.


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblelavod
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Registered: 06/23/06
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods]
    #23593543 - 08/30/16 12:40 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

It's very real.  My enochian working was one ov my most powerful magickal experiences: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/7779888


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Invisiblenooneman
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Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,564
Loc: Utah
Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23593658 - 08/30/16 01:11 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:


Enochian is a name often applied to an occult or angelic language recorded in the private journals of John Dee and his colleague Edward Kelley in late 16th-century England. Kelley was a spirit medium who worked with Dee in his magical investigations.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enochian

So yeah, it's a made up language.


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Invisiblelavod
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Registered: 06/23/06
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: nooneman] * 3
    #23593965 - 08/30/16 02:47 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

nooneman said:
Quote:


Enochian is a name often applied to an occult or angelic language recorded in the private journals of John Dee and his colleague Edward Kelley in late 16th-century England. Kelley was a spirit medium who worked with Dee in his magical investigations.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enochian

So yeah, it's a made up language.




How can a language exist if it's not made up?


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Offlinekoods
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23593975 - 08/30/16 02:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:strokebeard:


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594180 - 08/30/16 03:56 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I just wanted to offer congratulations to you lavod but I have a question:

Where the fuck are the pics?  :crankey:  All I see is a rock on a paper full of jibberish.


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Offlineclock_of_omens
razzle them dazzle them
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Registered: 04/10/14
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
    #23594385 - 08/30/16 05:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

What kind of company allows you to drink and drive your deliveries out? Sounds like a bad company.


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