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lavod
Seal Whisperer


Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
Loc: Over the rainbow
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I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home 2
#23593242 - 08/30/16 11:03 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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There's this house i deliver to quite frequently. A few weeks ago i saw a stone outside this house that had a shape somewhat reminiscent ov a cock/dildo. I did'nt pick it up at the time and had forgotten about it. Well this last Friday i was delivering(Drunk off my gourd since i decided to break my sobriety with the boss and co-workers on commercial moonshine), and had a stop at this house. As soon as i exited i saw the stone dildo was still there, so i scooped it up and put it inside my car out ov intrigue.
I'm not very fond ov dildos. Fingers and cocks in, poop out is my general policy nowadays. However, due to the interest in this finding, i decided to break it in last night. Since it is not flexible i did'nt stick it all the way in, just about halfway at most. It felt good to my boipussy and i was able to reach the climatic sploosh with relative haste.
Strange that a stone came to this formation. Or maybe it's a space turd like joe dirt's buddy and it found its new home out ov coincidence. Like, "If you build it, they will come" and if you build it, they will cum.
 
Props to whoever knows what language i was writing in on the background paper.
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something super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!


Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
#23593248 - 08/30/16 11:05 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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did u eat ur smeg after u was done
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PatrickKn



Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,564
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Hope you're up to date on your tetanus shots.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 minutes
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What is that writing? Is that Elvish?
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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something super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!


Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods] 3
#23593256 - 08/30/16 11:08 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: What is that writing? Is that Elvish?
Schizophrenish.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 minutes
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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LobsterSauce


Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods] 2
#23593267 - 08/30/16 11:13 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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That's Chinese.
It says: dick shaped stone will outlive sore butt long time.
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28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
#23593270 - 08/30/16 11:15 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,362
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 2 minutes, 38 seconds
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: 28064212] 1
#23593373 - 08/30/16 11:48 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Gives new meaning to the phrase "getting stoned".
I bet your neighbour is pissed off cause he didnt get his Rock Hard dildo 
Next buy: italian marble va-jay-jay
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 minutes
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#23593407 - 08/30/16 11:57 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I find it hard to believe lavod couldn't take the whole thing
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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lavod
Seal Whisperer


Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
Loc: Over the rainbow
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods]
#23593440 - 08/30/16 12:05 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well i could have, i just did'nt want to. I am tighter than i used to be though.
Maybe i actually unearthed an ancient dildo! Like this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4713323.stm
The writing is in Enochian.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 minutes
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
#23593463 - 08/30/16 12:14 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Did you use lube?
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,362
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 2 minutes, 38 seconds
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
#23593467 - 08/30/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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where the hell is Enochian from? Is it fictional or real?
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 minutes
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#23593481 - 08/30/16 12:20 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's fake. Like the dick.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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lavod
Seal Whisperer


Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
Loc: Over the rainbow
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: koods]
#23593543 - 08/30/16 12:40 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's very real. My enochian working was one ov my most powerful magickal experiences: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/7779888
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,564
Loc: Utah
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#23593658 - 08/30/16 01:11 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enochian is a name often applied to an occult or angelic language recorded in the private journals of John Dee and his colleague Edward Kelley in late 16th-century England. Kelley was a spirit medium who worked with Dee in his magical investigations.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enochian
So yeah, it's a made up language.
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lavod
Seal Whisperer


Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
Loc: Over the rainbow
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: nooneman] 3
#23593965 - 08/30/16 02:47 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
nooneman said:
Quote:
Enochian is a name often applied to an occult or angelic language recorded in the private journals of John Dee and his colleague Edward Kelley in late 16th-century England. Kelley was a spirit medium who worked with Dee in his magical investigations.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enochian
So yeah, it's a made up language.
How can a language exist if it's not made up?
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 18 minutes
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
#23593975 - 08/30/16 02:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
#23594180 - 08/30/16 03:56 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I just wanted to offer congratulations to you lavod but I have a question:
Where the fuck are the pics? All I see is a rock on a paper full of jibberish.
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clock_of_omens
razzle them dazzle them


Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 4,097
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: I found a dildo made ov stone and within my butt it found its home [Re: lavod]
#23594385 - 08/30/16 05:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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What kind of company allows you to drink and drive your deliveries out? Sounds like a bad company.
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