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Anonymous #1
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What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem?
#23587050 - 08/28/16 02:02 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm a young adult who throughout my life have had a tendency to develop extreme infatuations for people I never knew that well at all.
My perspective on the past is that there are three girls I have ever strongly liked. The first one I hung out with and got to know her fairly well before I liked her (around junior high, early high school), but the second one (whom I met later in high school) I hardly knew, and the third one (whom I met a year or so into college) I did not know well either, and even after having graduated college almost two years ago now, I still think about her every day.
Why do you think I have a tendency to develop these intense, long-lasting infatuations for people that I hardly know? I guess it was only two people, but still. You could argue that I was just young to explain the second one, but the third one has extended even to the present time, several years after I first met her, and I am a young adult now, so I'm not sure that I can explain it away with my youth.
What would be your guess as to the psychological explanation of why I'm prone to these things? Please be brutally honest if necessary, and ask for additional details if necessary.
Thanks for your input.
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Eminence



Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 16,627
Loc: Richmond, VA
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23587297 - 08/28/16 03:29 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Do you get this way with other aspects of your life besides women?
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,856
Last seen: 2 days, 7 hours
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Eminence]
#23587365 - 08/28/16 03:50 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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It is most likely just because you never knew them all that well. One tends to dream about how wonderful it could have turned out, when in reality those women would just have been people with flaws, like the ones you really got to know and left, after getting to know them a little to well.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23587368 - 08/28/16 03:50 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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same here..
2 or 3 people in my life whom I instantly fell in love with.. I never pursued any of them tho.. I tried once but when I finally got the courage to talk to her and get to know her better she was no longer at the school where we first caught site of each other..
I still think about them, and even though I know I may not see them again, I am thankful that I was even able to feel such beautiful things.. I don't think of it as problem or anything, i don't obsess over them or anything like that, but I do think about these occurrences on a daily basis, trying to understand them, why they happened, or if it was even real or just in my head.. I suppose I'll never know..
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Anonymous #1
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Eminence]
#23587734 - 08/28/16 05:42 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Eminence said: Do you get this way with other aspects of your life besides women?
Could you please elaborate? Maybe provide examples of what you mean?
Another thing worth mentioning is that I called it a "trend" in the OP, but it's really only happened with two women, so it's up to you whether or not that constitutes a "trend." Anyways, moving on..
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Anonymous #1
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#23587740 - 08/28/16 05:44 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: same here..
2 or 3 people in my life whom I instantly fell in love with.. I never pursued any of them tho.. I tried once but when I finally got the courage to talk to her and get to know her better she was no longer at the school where we first caught site of each other..
I still think about them, and even though I know I may not see them again, I am thankful that I was even able to feel such beautiful things.. I don't think of it as problem or anything, i don't obsess over them or anything like that, but I do think about these occurrences on a daily basis, trying to understand them, why they happened, or if it was even real or just in my head.. I suppose I'll never know..
It sounds like we can relate to each other pretty well, except I kind of go crazy thinking about how things could have been if I had tried harder, or earlier, or done things differently, etc...and the third person is essentially engaged, so that's a bummer too.
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23590351 - 08/29/16 02:59 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I do this and I think it's just because of a lack of close relationships and friendships. I mostly spend time in solitude and love it, but the dimension of life of closeness to people is something I want to explore.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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Anonymous #3
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23591564 - 08/29/16 08:32 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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lack of experience
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#23594146 - 08/30/16 03:45 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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^
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,077
Loc: USA
Last seen: 23 hours, 34 minutes
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Re: What would be your psychological diagnosis for this problem? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23595887 - 08/30/16 11:08 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Why do you think I have a tendency to develop these intense, long-lasting infatuations for people that I hardly know?
This is common. You are not alone!
To become obsessed with people and to want to possess them is common. It's often called romantic obsession.
For various reasons, we can become a "Hungry Ghost".
Hungry Ghosts are creatures (in Chinese Buddhism) with huge, empty stomachs. And pinhole mouths, and necks are so thin they cannot swallow, so they remain hungry.
I'm a hungry ghost . . .
peace
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