We have a death in the family, the father of my stepmother, 98 years old, died in the shower of his home in the geriatric center. My stepmother and father live in another country and will come stay over at my home in the coming week for the funeral service.
When my stepmom's mother died not too long ago I have actively held a seance to pay her proper respects and ask her if she had a message for her daughter, which she had and I could pass on to her. Just now I have held a seance for her father for the same purpose. I was asked by friends online how I conduct a seance, how I contact and exchange with a spirit, so I decided I might as well do a writeup about what I did just now, but I will of course omit the truly personal details of messages.

At first, I put a chair before my altar, lit the main altar candles and also the candle of my oil burner. In the oil burner I placed 8 drops of East African Frankincense Essential Oil (I insist on exactly that kind and origin as its the most sacred of old world incenses and Eastern Africa is the Holy Land of the Origin of Man). I got seated and placed in my left hand an australian silver coin bearing the image of a spider (my power animal), Silver being the Metal of Death and the left hand being the Earthly Hand, and in my right palm I placed an African coin bearing the image of a mammal (which I am), Gold being the Metal of Birth and the right hand being the Heavenly/Spirit World hand.

I struck a Tibetan Singing Bowl tuned to the heart chakra once, closed my eyes and plunged myself in a trance. I train myself on sinking in a trance with that bowl, so when it had chimed out, I was in deep trance already.
The trance I initially use is a hypnotic one. I close my eyes, progressively relax myself deeper and deeper, sinking into myself more and more where I use the feeling of the depth of the trance as a nonverbal suggestion of proof of trance and deepening signal, so that you get a rapid feedback loop where the deeper I go leads to me going deeper still, ever more rapidly and forcefully until I arrive at somnambulistic trance, or, the dreamlike state where you are so deep in that the feedback loop stops.
A current of electricity runs over my heart between the silver and the gold and helps bring monatomic gold and silver through my pores into my bloodstream. There is also a strong spiritual current between gold and silver: you see this in many spiritual traditions, for instance Jesus was given gold at birth and his death was paid for in silver. I usually make journeys into the spirit world holing those two coins, though I have done so otherwise, for instance holding a missing person's rubber flipflop sandals or a deceased uncle's mourning-card. These are tools, the personalized objects help to connect with a person, while the gold and silver help to literally power the trance, akin to a galvanic battery, physically and spiritually.
I inhaled deeply and felt two spirits enter my body through my lungs, first my Nkondi secondly, I didn't know.
I was in the depths of the trance, less than 2 minutes in. I settled and called out audibly for the father of my stepmother. I use and let spirits use my voicebox, so that words back and forth are literally spoken. It helps anchor and focus the experience. I do this alone but if I were to hold a seance in the presence of others they would benefit from hearing the dialogue firsthand.
I called out for him and soon I felt him latch onto me.I asked my Nkondi spirit, my guardian and teacher, whether this indeed was the deceased relative, and this was substantiated.
He poured his heart out and started telling me about the biggest regret in his life. He told me, in the lingo of a card player: "All my life I have been playing on Diamonds (material wealth) but now I see that Hearts (love, family) are the only cards that matter. I have failed as a husband and a father! Please tell my daughter that -- and then very personal matters unfolded -- He told me that he had died and that the fires of his fear, doubts and regrets of his life had engulfed him and that these fires of Purgatory purified him. After that he ascended, he said "I went to Heaven, but it's not how they say it is - and yet it still is in a way."
I cried, my throat almost ripped open, I hyperventilated, feeling the turmoil he had been through, the regret he felt as if it was my own, the agony that was and yet the beauty of what was unfolding. My emotions poured out full blast and he apologized for burdening me, gave me breathers and so forth.
He thanked me for what i did for him and his daughter and told me to please ask anything I wanted to know about the afterlife and he'd give the best answer he could.
I asked him if he could see and hear the afterlife. He could, he said he had all human senses crystal clear and even senses humans do not possess. I asked if he flew through the spirit world or walked, He told me that in Purgatory he mostly zapped between moments where he walked through his old home and places of his life "many times over" but since he was clear of that it was more a flying, floating. I asked him if he could sense God and we just burst into tears. He told me: There is this Light, and sometimes this light is bright and sometimes it is dim, and this Light is ALL THERE IS. Darkness is just a dimness of that Light. This light IS Love and it IS God and the purer that love, the brighter that light. It has a center, Heaven, and a periphery, Hell, and we travel through it." He said: "Never make the mistake I did. The Suit of that Love isn't DIAMONDS, its HEARTS. Hearts trump everything in Heaven!" He told me he was together with his wife now (again tears erupting), that he could see his next life from where he was and that when he had settled his matters in the spirit world, he would descend into that womb and be that child.
He thanked me for everything, asked if he could come back (of course) and we said our goodbyes. I took a deep breath and then exhaled his spirit.
My Nkondi caught me, asked how I was, gave me feedback and eased me back to everyday consciousness, then recommended that I'd get behind the computer and write this post "to forge the iron when it's hot." and help me ground further.
I tidied up the altar, blew out the candles and did just that.
Thank you for reading this, all of this.
A seance for a deceased family member, this is how I did it.
May we be blessed.
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