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Offlinedaba
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Registered: 12/30/02
Posts: 3,881
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Coldness...
    #2358095 - 02/20/04 06:17 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I've finally figured it out. Perhaps I knew all along, but only now have I learned to accept it.

My life began as a match, struck to provide warmth to the few who knew me. Then circumstance blew it out. It was never relit, and was even tossed out in the snow.The only warmth I felt was the apocryphal, conditional "love" from others, namely my family and "friends." My only happiness was the demise of strangers. Finally, the source of the cold has been relinquished as of late, but I find that I am still cold, colder than ever before. I have no loved ones. I have nothing I am willing to die for, thus, I have no reason for living.

Hardly do I show this weakness, as some may call it. No wonder I am so emotional at heartl. Lack of pure, genuine love equals some really fucked up people, such as myself. Sigh...  :crying:

I need some advice. What do I really want? I'm not looking for sympathy or pity here.


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Fold for The Shroomery!


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Invisiblesakura
Aussie Expat

Registered: 02/08/04
Posts: 592
Loc: Japan
Re: Coldness... [Re: daba]
    #2358152 - 02/20/04 07:27 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

All you really want is the same as the rest of us. You want Happiness.

My best advice would be to help other people every chance you get (preferably without anyone but yourself knowing about it). This will ignite the 'warmth' in you and is also (paradoxically) the only reliable short-cut to 'Real Happiness' (Based upon your own self-worth and not upon other, variable factors such as money, sex or other people's opinions of you).

At the end of the day, I really believe that Happiness is a choice... (There is a thread running in "Sprituality & Philosophy" at the moment on 'The secrets of happiness'. I just posted a reply there... I hope it might help you)


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Shrooms aren't everyone's cup of tea... (Some folks just eat 'em)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Coldness... [Re: daba]
    #2358214 - 02/20/04 08:18 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I agree with Sakura, sounds like you need to give a little, to get back a little. But your cold now, so you'll have to generate some heat, something you love and give to it, and not stop moving.


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OfflineFrog
Warrior
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Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 4,284
Loc: The Zero Point Field
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Re: Coldness... [Re: daba]
    #2361912 - 02/21/04 01:31 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Daba, I don't know if it has to do with being loved.  I think it comes from being happy with what you are doing.  What fulfills you. 

I think I could be happy for the rest of my life never being in love again, because I love what I do.  What I do brings satisfaction to me. 

But our reasons for feeling the way you and I do...they probably differ.  And I am probably talking from a place that differs from the place you are talking.

I think, also, it has to do with having the right people in one's life, regardless of love.

My guru taught me something today.  I don't know if it has anything to do with what you posted, but it came to mind, so I'm going to post it here.

When we get bogged down with negative people or events in our life, and spend time trying justify ourselves to them, or win their approval, we are stagnated. 

We should not have to justify ourselves to anybody.  If someone doesn't take us for what we are from the beginning of whatever relationship, let go and keep moving.  We don't have to stick around any where and justify our existence or thoughts to anybody.

When we do, we become stagnated.  We are inhibited from further growth process, because we are wasting our time being dragged down to someone else's level. 

What this comes back to, for me, is that I always hook up with people who criticize me, and then I spend time trying to argue with them why they are wrong about me.  It is time wasted because I could have simply moved on and hooked up with someone who accepts me as a valuable human rather than hook up with someone who is critical.

The heat grows from within.  You are valuable, and don't need love from an outside source in order to find warmth.  People will be attracted to the warmth you exude from within.

If none of this makes sense to you, I believe the "flush" handle is located to the right of the tank.  :grin:


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


Edited by Frog (02/21/04 01:50 AM)


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Invisiblemabus
anguish this!

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 956
Re: Coldness... [Re: daba]
    #2361990 - 02/21/04 01:50 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

  I have nothing I am willing to die for, thus, I have no reason for living.





I'd say you need to stop looking to others for your reason(s) to live, and start looking for reason(s) to live within yourself. Start loving yourself is also a good idea.  :heart:


--------------------

http://www.sacredshrooms.org


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Invisiblesakura
Aussie Expat

Registered: 02/08/04
Posts: 592
Loc: Japan
Re: Coldness... [Re: daba]
    #2362787 - 02/21/04 08:14 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Back again...

Some good advice from some good people (shows that peeps DO care what happens with you...)

I'm lucky enough to have a family (2 girls... 4 & 5). I spent a lot of years thinking that a relationship what what I needed to make me happy. It wasn't until I became a father and started practicing unconditional love on a daily basis (note: PRACTISING, not receiving) that I came to really understand that giving unconditionally is what makes me happy.


--------------------
Shrooms aren't everyone's cup of tea... (Some folks just eat 'em)


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Offlinepeleg
Gypsy
Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 535
Loc: Christ Light
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Coldness... [Re: sakura]
    #2362840 - 02/21/04 09:05 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

yeah im learning that thru giving of yourself you receive it back 10 fold, but it cant be a forced love, like trying to make yourself love im finding that by letting go of my desires that a Divine Love is slowy starting to fill the voids in my heart, patince is the key here, as it was told to me keep your head up and the Son will shine on your face once again, in and around you. Love is Real and will not fade away.


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"Well the first days are the hardest days." When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.....


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Invisiblesakura
Aussie Expat

Registered: 02/08/04
Posts: 592
Loc: Japan
Re: Coldness... [Re: daba]
    #2362899 - 02/21/04 09:55 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hmmm...

It might be good to look at the practical side of things 1st peleg.

Not everything needs to be viewed in spiritual terms in order to be understood and applied... I'm a Christian too, and I have found that there are many 'spiritual principles' which operate in the universe (such as giving makes you happier than receiving and stuff like that) which work equally well for Christians, Buddhists and Athiests.

While I am inclined to believe that these rules were created by God, I always try to be very practical and 'Earthy' in my use of them. I don't think it's too healthy for anyone (Christians included) to be 'too spiritual' in their outlook on life.

Peace......


--------------------
Shrooms aren't everyone's cup of tea... (Some folks just eat 'em)


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Offlinepeleg
Gypsy
Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 535
Loc: Christ Light
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Coldness... [Re: sakura]
    #2362941 - 02/21/04 10:29 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

all im saying is that for the 29 years of my life on this planet ive been seeking love too, trying to find it in women,drugs ,music this and that,and it's only when i gave my will up to the Father whom I call God that i started to experince true Love for the first time in my life. Now im not trying to force my faith or beliefs on any one here just giving an account of whats happened in my own personal life and what works and what doesnt for me as a child of God.It just boils down to where God has to be first and all else will fall into place


--------------------
"Well the first days are the hardest days." When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.....


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OfflineAtomisk
all forms areself awareness

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 164
Loc: jungle of love
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Coldness... [Re: daba]
    #2363092 - 02/21/04 11:35 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

try opening up...dont be afraid to show your love and your emotions. try iving out a few hugs.


--------------------
o house-builder! thou art seen. thou shalt build no house again. all thy rafters are broken. thy ridge-pole is shattered.


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Offlinedaba
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Registered: 12/30/02
Posts: 3,881
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Re: Coldness... [Re: Atomisk]
    #2364737 - 02/21/04 07:27 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I've been trying to get into a better attitude lately.
I know myself quite well. I tend to procrastinate until the last moment, and then struggle and stress immensely to complete a task. So I've written some motivational things in my journal, that I would like to share with anyone who is willing to read:

It is not too late to pursue your dreams. Today is the first day of the rest of your life!

Remember, all the obstacles you encounter, be them concrete or abstract, mental or physical, verbal or bodily: they are simply obstacles. And obstacles were meant to be overcome.

You can do it. Break free.


So today is the day. Time to get things done, and stop lingering about the past. Time to make a change. Time to stop letting obstacles overcome me. Indeed, I am much better than them.

Thanks for all the kind words and support, everyone. I've taken into account every single post here. I refuse to let myself fall into a depressed slump anymore.

Best Regards,
daba  :heartpump:


--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!


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