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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Anger Management? 1
#23575258 - 08/25/16 08:03 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Is it possible to manage your anger? Would that be the same as bottling it up? Then, the inevitable bottle bomb occasionally occurs but it's collateral damage?
Yesterday I got super angry with my other half of me. The protective watchdog half was pissed off at the "let's trust in people" half. I had put out a gas can thinking nobody would walk down there and take that gas can. Of course, this was the trusting half or maybe he's the lazy half.
The can was long gone and it set me off with the protective half becoming quite angry at trusting others. You could say sure don't leave stuff laying around. The problem is that I thought "it's only 10 bucks if they do take it" so took the chance that it would be there. Unfortunately, it's the principal of the thing and I really I mean really hate to get ripped off. Still makes me mad thinking about it.
So, is being protective and watch dog like a good thing, or does it just create a mean dog who barks at everyone?
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant



Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Lay a trap, get some prop money with an explosive dye pack.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
CosmicJoke said: Lay a trap, get some prop money with an explosive dye pack.
Or leave another gas can but mix in some good old cane sugar in there the gift that keeps on giving.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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You know I'm too scared to open that new message if it's anything like the last one you sent me. 
Might ruin my day.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
beforethedawn said: You know I'm too scared to open that new message if it's anything like the last one you sent me. 
Might ruin my day.
Don't worry. 
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Personally I provide my anger an outlet by expressing my thoughts and feelings on paper then doing a critical analysis and attempting to give myself constructive criticism.
As you talk about your other half' it sounds like you're talking about the divide between your body and mind.
This may not make sense at first glance but this model has continually astounded me. The human experience is actually in three parts, not just two halves. The first two are the obvious differentiation of body and mind, the two 'halfves' of experience.
What I am arguing for is that the body half of the body and mind model should be further divided into an evolutionary model of brain development in humans that distinguishes feelings from impulses.
Instead of only the mind and body, the triune model suggests an interaction of the mind, heart and body. In the model the mind and the brain is one of three nodes of experience, the heart is the second node of experience and the gut of the body is the third node of experience.
Together the heart sends mostly electrical information to the brain while the gut sends mostly chemical information to the brain. These chemical and electrical signals of electrical feelings from the heart and chemical impulses from the gut are then processed into thoughts through an individual's interpretation process.
Thoughts are the ideas made in your mind, feelings are the sensations you get from your heart and instincts are the impulses that you sense from your gut.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
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Re: Anger Management? [Re: sudly]
#23578852 - 08/26/16 07:58 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: Personally I provide my anger an outlet by expressing my thoughts and feelings on paper then doing a critical analysis and attempting to give myself constructive criticism.
As you talk about your other half' it sounds like you're talking about the divide between your body and mind.
Could you provide more detail in your first statement? I'm assuming you get angry first then detail it and analyze it? Or does your anger never come up that way as you have solved "the problem" first.
As for talk of my other half, it kind of was like that, my mind literally talking "down" to my stupid body or trusting self or whatever you want to call it. How that would tie into my heart or gut is your other part but I'm honestly a bit lost on that.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: Anger Management? [Re: sudly]
#23578986 - 08/26/16 08:44 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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im sorry suldy but your 'triune' model seems simplistic and frankly made up. i am wondering if you are drawing it from any source?
firstly mind/body is a philosophical problem that comes out of the seemingly irreconcilable views of idealism and materialism, often phrased around the problem of interaction between the physical body and the immaterial consciousness..
your view seems like some kind of pseudo science made up from common idioms like 'go with your gut' or 'trust in your heart' and has no actual basis in physical reality..? correct me if i am wrong.
it reminds me of the concepts id, ego and superego, which people do try locate in the brain.
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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i think it is normal to have conflicting selves/desires and maybe one that wins out more often over the other which comes to make us who we are..
i also dont trust humans about certain things but i know humans can be very good and helpful and dependable and that i am not so crash hot myself.. i think often one of the best gifts you can give someone is benefit of the doubt..
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant



Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: Anger Management? [Re: quinn] 1
#23579135 - 08/26/16 09:38 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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On a more serious note, one of the basic ideas behind Buddhism is forgiveness, and nobody realizes how wonderful an idea that is until they actually developing a knack for it. The more you forgive, the less burdens you carry around. So what's really important in my life? To make sure I've really forgiven anyone who has hurt me or I perceived to be an enemy.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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is it like active forgiveness where you speak to them or just some internal process.?
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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Hippocampus



Registered: 04/01/15
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Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Bottling up your anger is just one of many ways to manage it
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iiilil
Stranger


Registered: 01/08/16
Posts: 369
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Here's a good way to function going forward that sits somewhere in the middle between trusting and paranoid watchdog :
The world is full of good and honest people. However, there are dishonest thieves in the world. A dishonest thief can steal your stuff if you leave it unattended. So, don't leave things unattended that you don't want to take the chance of a thief stealing. an A general rule is to be watchful and mindful of things you care about. If you aren't, you can understand why someone in your environment wouldn't be either right? If you don't care about it and thus aren't mindful/watchful and something happens, it shouldn't anger you right?
Even if you are watchful and mindful, shit can still happen. In such cases, you will more easily forgive yourself as it just simply was out of your control... You can identify the reasoned steps you took to be mindful, learn from the mishap, and move on.
Try this out and you'll be a lot better off ....
Just my 2 cents.. Wasn't something I immediately understood.. Learned it over many hard lessons. In cases where things have been stolen from me, and it isn't an expensive item, I take it as a very cheap lesson learned.. Could have been something far more expensive. So, the next time, i'll be more mindful and hopefully avoid something that's 10x more expensive from being stolen.
Not sure forgiveness factors into this story for the thief.. Moreso, forgive yourself and don't get angry.. learn and move on.
LoL, you were trusting and someone stole your shit.. You have a reason to be a little upset. Thing is: don't stay that way for long : resolve on how you can play this better next time by simply being more mindful and cautious.. Eventually that mindfulness becomes modus operanda and thus there is no attachment or feelings/thoughts associated with it.
Then you're doing just splendid
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Experience it, detail it, analyse it. I don't think you can avoid anger but you can manage and communicate it out of your system.
As you're talking to your other half, I'm trying to explain that doing that is your brain electrochemically communicating with your heart and gut.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: Anger Management? [Re: quinn]
#23580828 - 08/26/16 04:50 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've given a simplistic summary but it's not wholey made up, the idea comes from a hybridisation of Julian Jaynes Bicameral mind theory, Paul D. Macleans Triune Brain theory and Freudian Ego Theory.
'Immaterial' = no
The mind and body can easily be explained with a look at the human nervous system. The human nervous system is clearly split into two sections with the mind as the central nervous system, brain and spinal cord while the body is the peripheral nervous system governing blood circulation and automatic organ function.

These concepts have a basis in basic physiological functions and the roles that certain sections of the brain and nervous system govern. E.g. The sympathetic nervous system governs the fight or flight response.
The concepts essentially labels the ID as the reptilian complex, the ego as the mammalian complex and the Super-Ego as the Neo-mammalian complex of the Triune model.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant



Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: Anger Management? [Re: quinn]
#23580851 - 08/26/16 04:59 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said: is it like active forgiveness where you speak to them or just some internal process.?
Sometimes, and that depends on whether I want to maintain an active relationship with them or not. Other times, if I'm feeling irrationally angry, I'm just trying to get to the root of the problem, the uncooked seed, and that usually involves somebody else.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Anger Management? [Re: iiilil]
#23580974 - 08/26/16 05:40 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
iiilil said: Here's a good way to function going forward that sits somewhere in the middle between trusting and paranoid watchdog :
The world is full of good and honest people. However, there are dishonest thieves in the world. A dishonest thief can steal your stuff if you leave it unattended. So, don't leave things unattended that you don't want to take the chance of a thief stealing. an A general rule is to be watchful and mindful of things you care about. If you aren't, you can understand why someone in your environment wouldn't be either right? If you don't care about it and thus aren't mindful/watchful and something happens, it shouldn't anger you right?
Even if you are watchful and mindful, shit can still happen. In such cases, you will more easily forgive yourself as it just simply was out of your control... You can identify the reasoned steps you took to be mindful, learn from the mishap, and move on.
Try this out and you'll be a lot better off ....
Just my 2 cents.. Wasn't something I immediately understood.. Learned it over many hard lessons. In cases where things have been stolen from me, and it isn't an expensive item, I take it as a very cheap lesson learned.. Could have been something far more expensive. So, the next time, i'll be more mindful and hopefully avoid something that's 10x more expensive from being stolen.
Not sure forgiveness factors into this story for the thief.. Moreso, forgive yourself and don't get angry.. learn and move on.
LoL, you were trusting and someone stole your shit.. You have a reason to be a little upset. Thing is: don't stay that way for long : resolve on how you can play this better next time by simply being more mindful and cautious.. Eventually that mindfulness becomes modus operanda and thus there is no attachment or feelings/thoughts associated with it.
Then you're doing just splendid 
Nice response, very reasoned. I already am playing it differently over there, no reason to leave real valuables even where they can be taken. The gas water pump with the meter is about a grand. Better to have it in my van and locked up in my driveway than sitting in a garage far more easily and likely broken into. Likewise I pulled my electric water pump which was about 500 bucks. Need to remove the tools maybe tomorrow.
I think my knowing that gas can could easily be ripped off considering where it was and given the traffic on the river was what pissed me off the most. I really hate being lazy and justifying it then paying the price later. This same exact thing over there happened a while back, the thieves pulled out wire that I could have located in a more secure place.
The message is perhaps there are a lot of people more than willing to take your shit, and to be watchful and mindful and at least make it as hard as you can only makes sense.
But yeah forgive myself for being stupid it's happened before and it will happen again I am sure.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (08/26/16 06:02 PM)
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
CosmicJoke said:
Quote:
quinn said: is it like active forgiveness where you speak to them or just some internal process.?
Sometimes, and that depends on whether I want to maintain an active relationship with them or not. Other times, if I'm feeling irrationally angry, I'm just trying to get to the root of the problem, the uncooked seed, and that usually involves somebody else.
Who The Cap Fit
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: Anger Management? [Re: sudly]
#23581111 - 08/26/16 06:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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cool, i am glad there is more to it.. i actually have that bicameral mind book on my shelf but haven't read it..
i don't feel like at face value the explanation resolves the mind/body problem but rather multiplies it by 3 and takes a materialist stance.. an idealist might say well that's all well and good but where does the nervous system become consciousness? where does the circulatory system become consciousness? etc..
it sounds like that theory tries to graph freud onto physical anatomy which imo is a tricky and possibly fraught project although idk enough about anything to know if it is useful or not
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Anger Management? [Re: quinn]
#23581125 - 08/26/16 06:24 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said: im sorry suldy but your 'triune' model seems simplistic and frankly made up. i am wondering if you are drawing it from any source?
firstly mind/body is a philosophical problem that comes out of the seemingly irreconcilable views of idealism and materialism, often phrased around the problem of interaction between the physical body and the immaterial consciousness..
your view seems like some kind of pseudo science made up from common idioms like 'go with your gut' or 'trust in your heart' and has no actual basis in physical reality..? correct me if i am wrong.
it reminds me of the concepts id, ego and superego, which people do try locate in the brain.
cmon quinn give him the Benefit of the doubt...
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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