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OfflinePatchouli_Savage
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Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 714
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 1 hour, 40 minutes
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: morrowasted]
    #23570955 - 08/23/16 10:11 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
Quote:

Patchouli_Savage said:
Wait...You stole this? As in you couldn't even find your own way to say "I'm a jaded judgmental asshole. Do not respond to this if you are needy or fat. I don't have any money for any of you bitches so don't fucking ask. Be interesting and entertaining for my grumpy ass to be around. Drop a line. Or don't. Or whatever."

Lame.

Edit: meant To reply to OP and not Celestial Traveler



It honestly never occurred to me to take this approach. I just stumbled across this and thought it was great, so yes, I stole it. Sue me.


)


Nah...It doesn't sound like I would get any money out of that lawsuit. Besides, I would hate to leave you feeling like we are all just a bunch of money grubbing bitches...


--------------------
"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Patchouli_Savage] * 1
    #23570960 - 08/23/16 10:13 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Plenty of fish sounds like the last place I'd like to shop for puss at


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson
Male

Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: morrowasted]
    #23570961 - 08/23/16 10:13 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
I stole this cuz it was just too rich to pass up. Will it work? Doubt it.

Through my dealings with the fairer sex over the previous 25 years I have become completely disillusioned with females (all people really, but I’m not trying to date guys) and have now resorted to the internet in an effort to find one that I can at least tolerate for extended periods of time.You want to know about me? I’ll tell you what I’m not.

1) I am not your father. I will not tolerate childish bullsh*twhen you don’t get your way and I will not throw money at you to shut you up.

2) I am not your hobby. That’s why you have friends. This road goes both ways though, and you’re not expected to join me on any trips you don’t want to. I’ve got friends for that too.

Here’s where we get to you. As a staunch rationalist, I realize you’re probably every bit as bitter with men as I am with you r**** compatriots, possibly having almost given up on us. My (admittedly weak) theory is you have not yet lost all hope but have simply turned to a less social lifestyle and are casually perusing the PoF personals just waiting for my ad to pop up so we can end our days in perpetual bliss or whatever storybook fantasy those cookie cutter girls get off on.

I am not an extremely picky guy. Being my dream girl is more a matter of the things you aren’t than the things you are.

My ideal woman:
-when asked about her hobbies, has more to say than, “Like, you know, stuff,” or the always popular “shopping, hanging out, music, friends.”
-can think outside her own head and understand that while her wants and needs are her priority (and there’s nothing wrong with that), those around her have their own desires.
-takes care of herself to some degree. We can’t help certain aspects of our appearance, but if you don’t bathe regularly and have eaten yourself fat it demonstrates a fatal lack of respect for yourself that one would expect to bleed into other aspects of your behavior.

If you’ve read this much crap and are actually interested, we might just stand a chance. Send me a message that makes me think, laugh, or hope.




This comes off as really salty and aggressive. You also dont tell them about yourself at all.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23570965 - 08/23/16 10:14 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

no1 gives a kok creampuppy


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Eminence]
    #23570969 - 08/23/16 10:15 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Just posted this to CL personals as well

let the magic begin


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: morrowasted]
    #23570974 - 08/23/16 10:16 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

oh bro tou're gonna score so hard on craigslist bro maybe if u try hard enough u can give ur credit card to a fake bot


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleSheekle
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Posts: 53,153
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Sheekle]
    #23570975 - 08/23/16 10:17 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

the only thing craigslist is good for is gettin jerked off thru glory holes by old men


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: BANANA.MAN]
    #23570979 - 08/23/16 10:17 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BANANA.MAN said:
Quote:

morrowasted said:
I stole this cuz it was just too rich to pass up. Will it work? Doubt it.

Through my dealings with the fairer sex over the previous 25 years I have become completely disillusioned with females (all people really, but I’m not trying to date guys) and have now resorted to the internet in an effort to find one that I can at least tolerate for extended periods of time.You want to know about me? I’ll tell you what I’m not.

1) I am not your father. I will not tolerate childish bullsh*twhen you don’t get your way and I will not throw money at you to shut you up.

2) I am not your hobby. That’s why you have friends. This road goes both ways though, and you’re not expected to join me on any trips you don’t want to. I’ve got friends for that too.

Here’s where we get to you. As a staunch rationalist, I realize you’re probably every bit as bitter with men as I am with you r**** compatriots, possibly having almost given up on us. My (admittedly weak) theory is you have not yet lost all hope but have simply turned to a less social lifestyle and are casually perusing the PoF personals just waiting for my ad to pop up so we can end our days in perpetual bliss or whatever storybook fantasy those cookie cutter girls get off on.

I am not an extremely picky guy. Being my dream girl is more a matter of the things you aren’t than the things you are.

My ideal woman:
-when asked about her hobbies, has more to say than, “Like, you know, stuff,” or the always popular “shopping, hanging out, music, friends.”
-can think outside her own head and understand that while her wants and needs are her priority (and there’s nothing wrong with that), those around her have their own desires.
-takes care of herself to some degree. We can’t help certain aspects of our appearance, but if you don’t bathe regularly and have eaten yourself fat it demonstrates a fatal lack of respect for yourself that one would expect to bleed into other aspects of your behavior.

If you’ve read this much crap and are actually interested, we might just stand a chance. Send me a message that makes me think, laugh, or hope.




This comes off as really salty and aggressive. You also dont tell them about yourself at all.



It reveals plenty about me by way of inference. It reveals that I am honest and forthright, intelligent, not codependent. Specific things like hobbies are not important. Most people talk about a bunch of bullshit that doesn't matter in their profile. I want to know what KIND of person you are, not what sort of stuff you fill your day with.


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Sheekle]
    #23570982 - 08/23/16 10:18 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Never make the same mistake twice right sheeks?


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,377
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Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Sheekle]
    #23570983 - 08/23/16 10:18 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
the only thing craigslist is good for is gettin jerked off thru glory holes by old men



i dunno man some other people in the thread where this originated were claiming the OP worked for them on CL. maybe they were full of shit


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InvisibleSheekle
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Sheekle]
    #23570986 - 08/23/16 10:19 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

hhaaha the most recent date i went on from okcupid a while back i told her about the time i got jerked off thru a glory hole from craigslist n the next day i asked her out n it worked out she was hot too, i guess girls like hearing about guys gettin jerked off thru glory holes i should use it as a pickup line more often


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleSheekle
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: morrowasted]
    #23570991 - 08/23/16 10:20 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
the only thing craigslist is good for is gettin jerked off thru glory holes by old men



i dunno man some other people in the thread where this originated were claiming the OP worked for them on CL. maybe they were full of shit



yeah maybe if the thread was from 2010 or some shit when people actually used craigslist

no modest i never gave my credit card info away, if i ever did i would give it to a blind person an let them feel the numbers to see if they could memorize it to steal it


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Sheekle]
    #23570994 - 08/23/16 10:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

wow dude i would use that if I wasn't against fronting. maybe I should find a glory hole


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InvisibleCelestial Traveler
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Registered: 03/03/11
Posts: 7,639
Loc: Idaho
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Sheekle]
    #23570995 - 08/23/16 10:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

morrowasted said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
the only thing craigslist is good for is gettin jerked off thru glory holes by old men



i dunno man some other people in the thread where this originated were claiming the OP worked for them on CL. maybe they were full of shit



yeah maybe if the thread was from 2010 or some shit when people actually used craigslist

no modest i never gave my credit card info away, if i ever did i would give it to a blind person an let them feel the numbers to see if they could memorize it to steal it




You're on a roll today  :lolsy:


--------------------
Funny Video              Pokemon But With Animals Instead              B


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson
Male

Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: morrowasted]
    #23571000 - 08/23/16 10:22 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
Quote:

BANANA.MAN said:
Quote:

morrowasted said:
I stole this cuz it was just too rich to pass up. Will it work? Doubt it.

Through my dealings with the fairer sex over the previous 25 years I have become completely disillusioned with females (all people really, but I’m not trying to date guys) and have now resorted to the internet in an effort to find one that I can at least tolerate for extended periods of time.You want to know about me? I’ll tell you what I’m not.

1) I am not your father. I will not tolerate childish bullsh*twhen you don’t get your way and I will not throw money at you to shut you up.

2) I am not your hobby. That’s why you have friends. This road goes both ways though, and you’re not expected to join me on any trips you don’t want to. I’ve got friends for that too.

Here’s where we get to you. As a staunch rationalist, I realize you’re probably every bit as bitter with men as I am with you r**** compatriots, possibly having almost given up on us. My (admittedly weak) theory is you have not yet lost all hope but have simply turned to a less social lifestyle and are casually perusing the PoF personals just waiting for my ad to pop up so we can end our days in perpetual bliss or whatever storybook fantasy those cookie cutter girls get off on.

I am not an extremely picky guy. Being my dream girl is more a matter of the things you aren’t than the things you are.

My ideal woman:
-when asked about her hobbies, has more to say than, “Like, you know, stuff,” or the always popular “shopping, hanging out, music, friends.”
-can think outside her own head and understand that while her wants and needs are her priority (and there’s nothing wrong with that), those around her have their own desires.
-takes care of herself to some degree. We can’t help certain aspects of our appearance, but if you don’t bathe regularly and have eaten yourself fat it demonstrates a fatal lack of respect for yourself that one would expect to bleed into other aspects of your behavior.

If you’ve read this much crap and are actually interested, we might just stand a chance. Send me a message that makes me think, laugh, or hope.




This comes off as really salty and aggressive. You also dont tell them about yourself at all.



It reveals plenty about me by way of inference. It reveals that I am honest and forthright, intelligent, not codependent. Specific things like hobbies are not important. Most people talk about a bunch of bullshit that doesn't matter in their profile. I want to know what KIND of person you are, not what sort of stuff you fill your day with.



Im not trying to be a smart ass but you just said that you want a girl who can tell you what her hobbies are and you wont except certain answers.


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Sheekle]
    #23571007 - 08/23/16 10:23 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

yeah it was from 2009


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: BANANA.MAN]
    #23571018 - 08/23/16 10:25 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BANANA.MAN said:
Quote:

morrowasted said:
Quote:

BANANA.MAN said:
Quote:

morrowasted said:
I stole this cuz it was just too rich to pass up. Will it work? Doubt it.

Through my dealings with the fairer sex over the previous 25 years I have become completely disillusioned with females (all people really, but I’m not trying to date guys) and have now resorted to the internet in an effort to find one that I can at least tolerate for extended periods of time.You want to know about me? I’ll tell you what I’m not.

1) I am not your father. I will not tolerate childish bullsh*twhen you don’t get your way and I will not throw money at you to shut you up.

2) I am not your hobby. That’s why you have friends. This road goes both ways though, and you’re not expected to join me on any trips you don’t want to. I’ve got friends for that too.

Here’s where we get to you. As a staunch rationalist, I realize you’re probably every bit as bitter with men as I am with you r**** compatriots, possibly having almost given up on us. My (admittedly weak) theory is you have not yet lost all hope but have simply turned to a less social lifestyle and are casually perusing the PoF personals just waiting for my ad to pop up so we can end our days in perpetual bliss or whatever storybook fantasy those cookie cutter girls get off on.

I am not an extremely picky guy. Being my dream girl is more a matter of the things you aren’t than the things you are.

My ideal woman:
-when asked about her hobbies, has more to say than, “Like, you know, stuff,” or the always popular “shopping, hanging out, music, friends.”
-can think outside her own head and understand that while her wants and needs are her priority (and there’s nothing wrong with that), those around her have their own desires.
-takes care of herself to some degree. We can’t help certain aspects of our appearance, but if you don’t bathe regularly and have eaten yourself fat it demonstrates a fatal lack of respect for yourself that one would expect to bleed into other aspects of your behavior.

If you’ve read this much crap and are actually interested, we might just stand a chance. Send me a message that makes me think, laugh, or hope.




This comes off as really salty and aggressive. You also dont tell them about yourself at all.



It reveals plenty about me by way of inference. It reveals that I am honest and forthright, intelligent, not codependent. Specific things like hobbies are not important. Most people talk about a bunch of bullshit that doesn't matter in their profile. I want to know what KIND of person you are, not what sort of stuff you fill your day with.



Im not trying to be a smart ass but you just said that you want a girl who can tell you what her hobbies are and you wont except certain answers.


I don't mean to sound like a smart ass but it says "WHEN ASKED"

But you make a decent point. I'll add some stuff in at the end about myself


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InvisibleEminence
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Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 16,623
Loc: Richmond, VA
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: morrowasted] * 1
    #23571020 - 08/23/16 10:25 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

What? Hobbies can definitely be a good thing to list, couples who share hobbies have an easier time staying together than people who don't, and hobbies can sometimes also be an indicator of what kind of person someone is too.


--------------------




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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: Eminence]
    #23571062 - 08/23/16 10:40 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Eminence said:
What? Hobbies can definitely be a good thing to list, couples who share hobbies have an easier time staying together than people who don't, and hobbies can sometimes also be an indicator of what kind of person someone is too.



Quote:

A little bit about me: Despite the way my profile is about to seem, I'm a pretty sentimental guy. I'm generally optimistic and not jaded, though I am often cynical with my sense of humor. I read, and talk about things that people say you're not supposed to talk about, like politics and religion. Politically I am a centrist. I don't play videogames, when I try I feel like I'm wasting my life, but I don't mind if you do, as long as they don't consume yours. I don't smoke weed or drink, but I don't mind if you do, and I do take certain mind-altering substances on occasion (no, not any hard drugs, message me for further info).


I don't have a whole lot of hobbies. I pretty much just read and get online and debate about shit and work out and go to work. I guess I need to develop at least one more. I know women are more attracted to guys who have more hobbies.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Posts: 53,153
Re: Share your dating profiles with us [Re: morrowasted]
    #23571068 - 08/23/16 10:40 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

wtf u only wanna hear about girs hobbies if explicitely asked an shit


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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