|
Anonymous #1
|
Lost in my own void
#23566479 - 08/22/16 04:15 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Yesterday the most important person left me, practically discarded me like a bag of shit.
She was the reason why I made good decisions for myself, for me and her to go to university together, have children, grow old; All of my hopes and dreams have just been flushed down the toilet now.
I don't know what to do, I feel like a vegetable, honestly I just want to die to end all of this bullshit. I want help but it seems to far away.
|
kamykazi3
Stranger

Registered: 07/09/15
Posts: 89
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
|
|
hello friend , life is hard , people are selfish and sometimes stupid , nothing we can do about it , keep calm ! all will find its place , dont do anything stupid , if you need help talk to friend and family , see a psicologist if you need to , take antidepressants if you dont get better , keep posting in here to seek help
i wish you all the best <3
|
404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
|
|
Make decisions for yourself, to better yourself. not because of other people. Better yourself and the rest will come.
Just because this relationship didn't work out, doesn't mean you can find other meaningful relationships with other people, see this as a chance for personal growth and new opportunity to start anew. The depression you are currently feeling will pass, things will improve with time. It hurts right now i am sure, but it will not always feel that way.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Lost in my own void [Re: 404] 1
#23573641 - 08/24/16 05:36 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Yesterday I was a second away from trying to harm myself with DXM, but I made the decision to yell out to a family member and go to hospital.
I had one of the greatest conversations with a psyche who seen me there; I'l get there but it's gonna be a hard road, but all will get better
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
|
I've spent the last 12 months of my life in that hole, recovering. It's only in the last month that I've finally emerged out the other side, and I tell you now, I'm a much, much better man for it.
But when I was in that hole? Man, darkness, pain, suffering, and self-destructive behaviour were rife. I went up and down more times in that 12 months than in the 12 years before. It was like being stuck in a hole, the bottom rung of a ladder out just in reach, and I'd jump for it, only that bottom rung was always so greasy, and the fall so hard, it took me weeks of binging and locking myself in dark rooms to gather the strength to make another go at it.
It was only once I hit rock bottom I managed to start getting up to the 2nd & 3rd rungs. Lower than rock bottom was dead, and that was not an option. It's excruciatingly hard, but I'm more loving to myself and others, more compassionate, happier, more driven, more in tune with my dreams, more sure of my path, etc, etc.
It's the ultimate irony, but it seems to me only in pain, and through channelling it right, can we become better people than we were before.
Good luck OP. I feel you man.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
|
|
I am sorry friend. 
These moments In life are brutally hard but you can and will not only survive but come out stronger.
My advice is to throw yourself whole heartedly into an athletic endeavour and just drown out your thoughts and feelings with intense exercise .
Best of all would be to join a martial arts class.
I know all you want to do is lie down and die and that's exactly why throwing yourself full blitz into punching a heavy bag is the fastest way to purge the depression.
Much love to you brother 
Also, the sooner you get a profile made on a dating site the better .
Just browsing profiles will remind you there really are other fish in the sea.
The good choices you made with her position you for future happiness with the next woman you Love.
You have been given a golden opportunity for new sexual adventures as well, guilt free.
You got this !
Some SAMe will help your mood immensely btw .
--------------------
Everything I post is fiction.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Lost in my own void [Re: Moonshoe]
#23585589 - 08/27/16 11:47 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Here I am laying in bed, thinking about things, I'm not very old, well I'm not even twenty yet so really in abstract I've got the best days ahead of me.
But she was my first really great friend and really my only one I could talk about stuff to, the rest are just your average teenage ball of misery who wan't to do nothing besides socialize twenty four seven; me, I'm the one who looks outside of the box everyone feels so cozy in, I want to see whats out there and just become who I want to be.
I'm not going to cling onto her, plenty more gahls out there, I'm more upset that the best friend side of her left me as well, worsened my anxiety and now depression just clouds my mind all day long
I like the shroomery, not that I'm deeply fascinated by psychedelics and substances, I just see it like any other life experience and nothing else, some here are just bat shit dumb, others crazy, others probably some of the smartest people I've seen, I guess I find some social relief here that makes me feel better about myself.
I'm being assessed by the local mental health team, most likely going to be put on anti-depressants and maybe benzos for the sleep and difficult times.
|
|