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Registered: 05/13/11 Posts: 34,686 Last seen: 5 years, 2 months |
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Anyone here have someone close to them who suffers from BPD?
How do you manage this? Me and several of my close friends have known people who have BPD throughout our lives and they can be very difficult to maintain a stable friendship/relationship with due to the reckless nature of BPD. Its very very difficult to see people we care about suffer so much from this truly awful affliction, what are yalls experiences with this?
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Humble Student Registered: 11/30/11 Posts: 26,088 Loc: Deep in the syst |
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Do you mean bi-polar disorder or borderline personality disorder Conn?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Registered: 05/13/11 Posts: 34,686 Last seen: 5 years, 2 months |
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borderline
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Registered: 04/01/15 Posts: 753 Last seen: 6 years, 10 months |
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My dad has BPD. He's a sonofabitch (actually his mother was likely BPD too) and we haven't communicated in ten years. it's actually a saying "show me a patient with BPD and I'll show you someone whose mother has BPD". I feel much worse for those who were abused by borderlines, since I know firsthand how terrible they can be, and to be trapped with them. But it's too bad for my dad, as he was abused by his mother who likely had it, AND suffers from it himself. He's definitely had a lot of trouble in life due to his BPD. I genuinely feel bad for him. But at a good safe distance. My life is a lot better without him in it. Judging from his realationships, I'd say the best people to withstand a BPD's BS is someone who is very tolerant and doesn't get worked up all that easily. Someone who is cool with them cutting them out of their life periodically, and fine with apologizing for things they didn't do in order to make up. Someone who is capable of setting clear boundaries and enforcing them no matter what. I've noticed that a lot of his long-time relationships are on again off again. And close friends from childhood or teenage years will occasionally pop up wondering how he's been. They'll hang out for a while, but innevitably he'll alienate them after a time. But years later they will look him up again. People get amnesia about how much of an asshole he is. But he has many redeeming qualities too. I feel bad for people with BPD that just don't have anything going for them to mitigate their problems. Stupid, ugly BPDs must have a really tough life. But then again if it's that bad they might actually seek help. A lot of these BPDs, my dad included, maintain that nothing is wrong with them at all. At least not to the point that they would need to get in order to make any headway on fixing their fucked personality.
Depression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorders are common comorbids for people with BPD. My dad certainly has had all of those multiple times in his life. It's too difficult as a child of a BPD parent for me. It's too difficult for most people. It almost takes someone fucked up in their own way to be able to be a longterm enabler for a BPD person. Like someone who likes to be abused. Or exceptionally attracted to some aspect of the BPD person. Like their looks, or intellect, or impulsivity, or money. But they also have to be okay with having a relationship with a toxic person. There has to be something else in it for them. But even the chronic masochistic enablers often don't last all the time. It's just not worth it for a lot of folks. It's much easier to have friends and lovers who do not suffer from personality disorders. My advice to anyone dealing with someone they know who has BPD is to find out if they are aware, accept their diagnosis, and are actively working with a therapist to mitigate it's negative effects in their life. If not, then I would say run. Run away as fast as you can. One psychiatrist once said that if a somewhat normal seeming patient you've never seen before makes you hate their guts in less than 10 minutes, suspect BPD. Borderline personality disorder is a DSM 5 classification for people who have this somewhat common syndrome. I think it's about 1% of the population. It's amazing how well different people who are diagnosed by clinicians match up with each other. It's almost crazy. Almost anyone I meet who was raised by someone with BPD could tell me a story about their parent's behavior, and it could be almost word for word about my dad. But OTOH, I think it's important to remember that it's just a label for standardized diagnostic procedures. And it could be seen as sort of a spectrum. Many BPDs exhibit signs of other personality disorders, and as I said before, may have mood disorders and other psychiatric disorders. but a lot of people who are known BPD sufferers have it pretty badly. For one, it has to be so bad that they seek help for it. Two, the clinician who diagnosed them would have to actually tell their client they have BPD. Many therapists don't feel it would help the person to even know their diagnosis. It has a pretty bad rep. Three, that person would have to disclose to others that they were diagnosed. If all that happens then they are probably a pretty bad case, know what I mean? All in all, it's a very misunderstood, and little understood psychiatric disorder for how common it is. the name itself has nothing to do with their problem. BPDs aren't really "borderline" anything. It's just a name. It's seriously in need of a new name imo. but as far as helping or even dealing with someone with BPD, there are a lot of books recently written about it. I've read a few, but I don't remember their titles. There are also a lot of internet support groups that are very specific. Ones for those raised by BPDs, ones for those who love those with BPD, ones for those WITH BPD, for those with children who have it, etc. If you're really interested in understanding it, then I'd start with the books and support groups. There are lots of tips on how to deal with the BPD in your life from whatever angle your relationship resembles. Hope that helps, I tend to ramble about this topic as psychology is a serious interest of mine, and BPD is very personal, and I love helping people as well, or at least trying to. the problem with BPD is that it's so difficult to treat that some think there is no help for these people not matter how much time someone spends trying. GOOD LUCK
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error Registered: 08/20/10 Posts: 14,539 |
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First off, gotta say this is a great write up, and because it's long it's gonna be hard for me to put everything i wanted to say while i was reading it.
Borderline personality disorder really should get a new name, 'personality' disorder really does it an injustice to it by misrepresenting what it really is with all the latest data and things researchers know about it these days. It is called 'borderline' because there is a mix of symptoms that reach into other areas, including psychotic symptoms, unstable moods, problems with impulse control etc etc. In all, ADHD seems to fall very close in similarities with the impulse control and unstable moods. There are also differences in brain structure and connectivity, particularly the frontal lobe, amygdala, Anterior Cingulate cortex and some other areas including dysfunction within the lymbic system In the Anterior Cingulate Cortex, there is less grey matter, an area that sits just behind the frontal lobe in the brain and is involved with decision making, impulse control and reward anticipation. There is also a higher density of grey matter in the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls the fear response. In the prefrontal cortex, glucose metabolism is markedly lower, accounting for the poor executive functioning and rational decision making that healthy people don't have problems with as much There are differences in activity and response in the insula cortex as well https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In http://www.nimh.nih.gov/news/sci https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An http://www.nimh.nih.gov/news/sci http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/ As for the first part of your post, i probably have to agree as well that people with bpd need people that are more stable and able to not get frustrated with their problems, a yin-yang kind of thing.
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Registered: 05/13/11 Posts: 34,686 Last seen: 5 years, 2 months |
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Great posts guys, thanks for sharing!
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Registered: 04/24/16 Posts: 179 Loc: Ireland |
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My OH and my mother have BPD.
When I was just friends with my OH, I knew he had BPD before he told me. He didn't necessarily believe he had bpd til I started telling him all the things about him that made me suspect it. BPD is very closely connected to abusive and neglectful parents. I still have a decent relationship with my mother. .although at times she does get under my skin. There are redeeming qualities, BPDs often do well during high stress situations. (They break down after at random ass times).They are often overachievers and can be quite successful in career achievements. They are playful. ..and protective(partly connected with jealousy and a strong fear of losing that person. .but hey I'm trying to point out the good). I was always under the impression. .that BPD term is used because they seem to have "multiple personalities" without the different ' people'... for example they can be optimistic kind patient and then cruel, they black out too. They often put their loved ones on a pedestal. .just to tare them down. To hold any kind of relationship with one, you have to be very forgiving, you have to be willing to "let go".. if they say something cruel, ignore it..they don't always mean it. Set boundaries are important. I remember when getting to know my husband. .he said something, not sure what and I responded "I don't play those kind of mind games and to " stop right there. . Things blow up, every so often. They have no impulse control so a partner has to be the stable and strong willed one..or things won't last long. But don't be too strong willed or they will feel trapped and 'child like'. It's a balancing act.. If you fall for someone with bpd, decide early on if you can truly handle it. They will hurt you, they will wear you down...but that sometimes balanced by an immense love and appreciation. Oh and lastly prepare to be constantly reassuring the person. They are very insecure(due to a fear of abandonment. .and what you get to know them, they often have good reason for this fear). A person with bpd is also likely to have ibs, stomach problems/ulcers...and the women have difficulties with their ovaries/period. It's a condition that keeps the body in high levels of stress.
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Registered: 05/09/12 Posts: 10,484 Loc: Suwannee River Last seen: 3 years, 9 months |
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Pretty spot on, thanks for the post Glameow. Thanks to everyone else as well.
I'm just starting to reach out for help in dealing with BPD. My girlfriend has been diagnosed with it, and now that I've seen examples of what the behavior is like, there is no doubt in my mind that she fits the description. It frequently makes life a living hell to be honest. She can be so amazing, and the good times are so lovely, but in an instant things deteriorate and she becomes cold and sadistic. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells half the time. I really don't know the last time we went a full 48 hours without a big fight. The constant shift from push to pull is very tiresome mentally, and i live in near constant fear that i'm going to trigger something. I introduced this girl to heroin over 2 years ago, and she became a junkie with me. I liked to think that the problems we had were merely the result of severe addiction, but we've both been sober for coming up on a year, and sadly things haven't gotten better. It makes me sad and confused. I want to help her and keep her safe and happy, but it takes such a toll on me. I go back and forth between thinking it just isn't worth it and thinking i need to stick it out and become better at dealing with it.
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Registered: 04/24/16 Posts: 179 Loc: Ireland |
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Is she getting help? If so, get her to enquire about DBT..a therapy initially designed and implemented for people with BPD. Brilliant stuff too. It requires a one year commitment, therapy once a week. (Every two weeks its group and then one on one).
A year sober isn't that long to learn coping strategies. ..and it's extra challenging to do so together. Also get therapy for yourself, it will give somewhere to vent about your girlfriend and teach you ways to cope too and hopefully ways to decrease the huge blowout fights.
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Registered: 05/13/11 Posts: 34,686 Last seen: 5 years, 2 months |
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So I figure I will share some more regarding my experience being in an on again off again relationship with a young woman who has BPD as well as one of my closest friends who is still in the grips of a codependent relationship with a young woman who had BPD.
Ill start with my friend first since chronologically that situation occurred first. So when I was in high school one of my best friends who lived around the corner from me met a girl who was very sheltered and a virgin and suffered from severe BPD. None of us knew this at the time because her symptoms had not yet made themselves apparent but after they got into a relationship and he took her virginity and they moved in together a few months after things started to spiral out of control quickly. I wont go into details of too many specific stories but ill give a few quick examples of some extreme instances that have occurred. One night me my ex (the one who ill elaborate on further later on in this post) my close friend whos gf has BPD and another friend drove into my close friends driveway at about 10pm and all the sudden my close friends gf pops out from behind his shed where she had been crouching for what may have been hours waiting for him to come home so she could ambush him. Dont think I need say much more on that one... Another time me and my close friends were walking up his driveway to his house when we looked in the window and saw his gf had broken into his house and was in his bathroom. More times than anyone can ever hope to count my close friend has argued on the phone with his gf for hours and hours on end while he was having company over the house and in essence I tell people they have been arguing on the phone for 7 years now because in all actuality its true. Moving on to my experiences with my ex gf, I first met my ex when we were 18 years old and we fell deeply in love. I had never been with a woman before or been in love or anything of the sort so I was very nervous and unsure how things would pan out. We had a seemingly normal relationship minus the fact that she suffered from severe depression an eating disorder and self mutilation which I would try my absolute best to help her with and achieved minimal success. She left me after a few months because I was addicted to heroin and she couldn't put up with it. Several months later we hung out again for the first time since we broke up and she smoked synthetic cannabinoid for her first time and had a full blown psychotic break which we calmed by giving her some klonopin. After she calmed down I took her to my house so we could sort through things and she ended up crying and telling me she still loved me and wanted to be with me. I knew in my heart that since I was still using heroin this was a bad idea but I asked her if it would truly make her happy and she said yes so I agreed because all I have ever wanted from the moment I first met this woman was to see her happy. She is truly a wonderful and beautiful person with a lot of creativity and love and kindness and to know she struggled so severely with self harm, self image and severe depression saddened me so much. To this very day I wish nothing for her but peace and happiness and I still love her very much. We got back together for a few weeks and then she left me again because of my use of heroin. This time I was heart broken, specifically due to the fact that she broke up with me via a text message in response to a text I sent her saying that I was so happy she asked me to take her back and was feeling like my life was about to take a turn for the better and I loved her with all my heart. She simply responded, "no you love heroin more than me" and thus broke up with me. She continued to ignore me for quite some time after that until I went to a long term rehab and got clean for a while. While in rehab we began talking and started a long distance relationship and decided to get back together. I eventually came home and was together with her for a few months before it came to the point where I had to break up with her. I still loved her with all my heart and truly always will but the relationship became toxic for the both of us. Its a long long story of what happened during that time period but it was very dark and intense for the both of us and both of us hurt each other a lot. IMO we both made some very serious mistakes even though I will admit some of mine were indeed more shameful than hers. She successfully prevented me from breaking up with her several times as a result of threatening to kill herself and when I finally decided I had to break up with her for real she kept me scared shitless by telling me constantly she was going to kill herself. Shes been suicidal for many years on and off and at the time I wouldn't have put it past her even though I know better now. The whole thing got so bad at the end of our relationship and even for several months during the aftermath of it that I myself became severely suicidal and depressed and relapsed back into opiate addiction. You can find some threads regarding that if you go in my thread history from earlier this summer. Thats all for now but I will add more some time soon.
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Registered: 04/01/15 Posts: 753 Last seen: 6 years, 10 months |
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Thanks for sharing, everyone.
Here is the section on Borderline Personality Disorder copied directly from the DSM 5. The DSM 5 is a tool that is intended to be used by clinicians for reference in their practice. Only clinicians have the expertise and license to diagnose an individual with BPD. We cannot officially diagnose someone ourselves by reading this. But I post this to help in our understanding of what BPD is and how those with the disorder may behave and think. None of us that have or have had a very close relationship with a person with BPD need a book to tell us there is something wrong with that person. We are all too familiar with the way they are. Tossing around the term BPD does not always offer a lot of insight to those who don't know what BPD is. However, I have found that people who have close relationships with those with BPD often come together and discover that their loved ones with BPD all share remarkable similarities with each other. The reason for this is because the clinicians that diagnosed those people are using information compiled in the DSM on the disorder. This allows those clinicians to standardize their diagnoses. Personally, I feel that reading the DSM 5 on BPD has greatly helped my understanding of the disorder and given me insight into how to deal with the BPD people in my life. Since we're doing long-assed posts in this thread, maybe you'll be in the mood to read all this. Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnostic Criteria 301.83 (F60.3) A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: 1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.) 2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. 3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. 4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). (Note: Do not include suicidal or self- mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.) 5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior. 6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days). 7. Chronic feelings of emptiness. 8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights). 9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms._______ Diagnostic Features The essential feature of borderline personality disorder is a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts. Individuals with borderline personality disorder make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Criterion 1). The perception of impending separation or rejection, or the loss of external structure, can lead to profound changes in self-image, affect, cognition, and behavior. These individuals are very sensitive to environmental circumstances. They experience intense abandonment fears and inappropriate anger even when faced with a realistic time-limited separation or when there are unavoidable changes in plans (e.g., sudden despair in reaction to a clinician's announcing the end of the hour; panic or fury when some one important to them is just a few minutes late or must cancel an appointment). They may believe that this "abandonment" implies they are "bad." These abandonment fears are re lated to an intolerance of being alone and a need to have other people with them. Their frantic efforts to avoid abandonment may include impulsive actions such as self-mutilating or suicidal behaviors, which are described separately in Criterion 5. Individuals with borderline personality disorder have a pattern of unstable and intense relationships (Criterion 2). They may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship. However, they may switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them, feeling that the other person does not care enough, does not give enough, or is not "there" enough. These individuals can empathize with and nurture other people, but only with the expectation that the other person will "be there" in return to meet their own needs on demand. These individuals are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternatively be seen as beneficent supports or as cruelly punitive. Such shifts often reflect disillusionment with a caregiver whose nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected. There may be an identity disturbance characterized by markedly and persistently un stable self-image or sense of self (Criterion 3). There are sudden and dramatic shifts in self image, characterized by shifting goals, values, and vocational aspirations. There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values, and types of friends. These individuals may suddenly change from the role of a needy supplicant for help to that of a righteous avenger of past mistreatment. Although they usually have a self image that is based on being bad or evil, individuals with this disorder may at times have feelings that they do not exist at all. Such experiences usually occur in situations in which the individual feels a lack of a meaningful relationship, nurturing, and support. These individuals may show worse performance in unstructured work or school situations. Individuals with borderline personality disorder display impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (Criterion 4). They may gamble, spend money irrespon sibly, binge eat, abuse substances, engage in unsafe sex, or drive recklessly. Individuals with this disorder display recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilat ing behavior (Criterion 5). Completed suicide occurs in 8%-10% of such individuals, and self-mutilative acts (e.g., cutting or burning) and suicide threats and attempts are very common. Recurrent suicidality is often the reason that these individuals present for help. These self-destructive acts are usually precipitated by threats of separation or rejection or by expectations that the individual assumes increased responsibility. Self-mutilation may occur during dissociative experiences and often brings relief by reaffirming the ability to feel or by expiating the individual's sense of being evil. Individuals with borderline personality disorder may display affective instability that is due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) (Criterion 6). The basic dysphoric mood of those with borderline personality disorder is often disrupted by periods of anger, panic, or despair and is rarely relieved by periods of well-being or satis faction. These episodes may reflect the individual's extreme reactivity to interpersonal stresses. Individuals with borderline personality disorder may be troubled by chronic feelings of emptiness (Criterion 7). Easily bored, they may constantly seek something to do. Individuals with this disorder frequently express inappropriate, intense anger or have difficulty controlling their anger (Criterion 8). They may display extreme sarcasm, enduring bitterness, or verbal outbursts. The anger is often elicited when a caregiver or lover is seen as neglectful, withholding, uncaring, or abandoning. Such expressions of anger are often followed by shame and guilt and contribute to the feeling they have of being evil. During periods of extreme stress, transient paranoid ideation or dissociative symptoms (e.g., de personalization) may occur (Criterion 9), but these are generally of insufficient severity or duration to warrant an additional diagnosis. These episodes occur most frequently in response to a real or imagined abandonment. Symptoms tend to be transient, lasting minutes or hours. The real or perceived return of the caregiver's nurturance may result in a remission of symptoms. Associated Features Supporting Diagnosis Individuals with borderline personality disorder may have a pattern of undermining themselves at the moment a goal is about to be realized (e.g., dropping out of school just before graduation; regressing severely after a discussion of how well therapy is going; destroying a good relationship just when it is clear that the relationship could last). Some individuals develop psychotic-like symptoms (e.g., hallucinations, body-image distortions, ideas of reference, hypnagogic phenomena) during times of stress. Individuals with this disorder may feel more secure with transitional objects (i.e., a pet or inanimate possession) than in interpersonal relationships. Premature death from suicide may occur in individuals with this disorder, especially in those with co-occurring depressive disorders or sub stance use disorders. Physical handicaps may result from self-inflicted abuse behaviors or failed suicide attempts. Recurrent job losses, interrupted education, and separation or divorce are common. Physical and sexual abuse, neglect, hostile conflict, and early parental loss are more common in the childhood histories of those with borderline personality dis order. Common co-occurring disorders include depressive and bipolar disorders, sub stance use disorders, eating disorders (notably bulimia nervosa), posttraumatic stress disorder, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Borderline personahty disorder also frequently co-occurs with the other personality disorders. Prevalence The median population prevalence of borderline personality disorder is estimated to be 1.6% but may be as high as 5.9%. The prevalence of borderline personality disorder is about 6% in primary care settings, about 10% among individuals seen in outpatient mental health clinics, and about 20% among psychiatric inpatients. The prevalence of borderline personality disorder may decrease in older age groups. Development and Course There is considerable variability in the course of borderline personality disorder. The most common pattern is one of chronic instability in early adulthood, with episodes of serious affective and impulsive dyscontrol and high levels of use of health and mental health re sources. The impairment from the disorder and the risk of suicide are greatest in the young-adult years and gradually wane with advancing age. Although the tendency to ward intense emotions, impulsivity, and intensity in relationships is often lifelong, individuals who engage in therapeutic intervention often show improvement beginning sometime during the first year. During their 30s and 40s, the majority of individuals with this disorder attain greater stability in their relationships and vocational functioning. Follow-up studies of individuals identified through outpatient mental health clinics indicate that after about 10 years, as many as half of the individuals no longer have a pattern of behavior that meets full criteria for borderline personality disorder. Risk and Prognostic Factors Genetic and physiological. Borderline personality disorder is about five times more common among first-degree biological relatives of those with the disorder than in the general population. There is also an increased familial risk for substance use disorders, anti social personality disorder, and depressive or bipolar disorders. Culture-Related Diagnostic Issues The pattern of behavior seen in borderline personality disorder has been identified in many settings around the world. Adolescents and young adults with identity problems (especially when accompanied by substance use) may transiently display behaviors that misleadingly give the impression of borderline personality disorder. Such situations are characterized by emotional instability, "existential" dilemmas, uncertainty, anxiety-provoking choices, con flicts about sexual orientation, and competing social pressures to decide on careers. Gender-Related Diagnostic issues Borderline personality disorder is diagnosed predominantly (about 75%) in females. Differential Diagnosis Depressive and bipolar disorders. Borderline personality disorder often co-occurs with depressive or bipolar disorders, and when criteria for both are met, both may be diagnosed. Because the cross-sectional presentation of borderline personality disorder can be mimicked by an episode of depressive or bipolar disorder, the clinician should avoid giving an addi tional diagnosis of borderline personality disorder based only on cross-sectional presentation without having documented that the pattern of behavior had an early onset and a long standing course. Other personality disorders. Other personality disorders may be confused with border line personality disorder because they have certain features in common. It is therefore im portant to distinguish among these disorders based on differences in their characteristic features. However, if an individual has personality features that meet criteria for one or more personality disorders in addition to borderline personality disorder, all can be diagnosed. Although histrionic personality disorder can also be characterized by attention seek ing, manipulative behavior, and rapidly shifting emotions, borderline personality disorder is distinguished by self-destructiveness, angry disruptions in close relationships, and chronic feelings of deep emptiness and loneliness. Paranoid ideas or illusions may be present in both borderline personality disorder and schizotypal personality disorder, but these symptoms are more transient, interpersonally reactive, and responsive to external structuring in borderline personality disorder. Although paranoid personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder may also be characterized by an angry reaction to minor stimuli, the relative stability of self-image, as well as the relative lack of self-destructiveness, impul-sivity, and abandonment concerns, distinguishes these disorders from borderline personality disorder. Although antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder are both characterized by manipulative behavior, individuals with antisocial personality disorder are manipulative to gain profit, power, or some other material gratification, whereas the goal in borderline personality disorder is directed more toward gaining the con cern of caretakers. Both dependent personality disorder and borderline personality disorder are characterized by fear of abandonment; however, the individual with borderline personality disorder reacts to abandonment with feelings of emotional emptiness, rage, and demands, whereas the individual with dependent personality disorder reacts with increasing appeasement and submissiveness and urgently seeks a replacement relationship to provide caregiving and support. Borderline personality disorder can further be distinguished from dependent personality disorder by the typical pattern of unstable and intense relationships. Personality change due to another medical condition. Borderline personality disorder must be distinguished from personality change due to another medical condition, in which the traits that emerge are attributable to the effects of another medical condition on the central nervous system. Substance use disorders. Borderline personality disorder must also be distinguished from symptoms that may develop in association with persistent substance use. Identity problems. Borderline personality disorder should be distinguished from an identity problem, which is reserved for identity concerns related to a developmental phase (e.g., adolescence) and does not qualify as a mental disorder.
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Wild Woman Registered: 06/06/03 Posts: 23,431 Loc: In the jungle |
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Hmm...well, I've been clinically diagnosed with BPD (it was years ago, but still) and I can tell you that it's no picnic living with it either...
Provides lots of ammunition for terrible guilt...and self-loathing...which tends to create more chaotic behavior. I can manage mine pretty well, in adulthood...but I won't lie I occasionally crash and burn on my coping strategies...and I have serious problems with feeling consistent on anything. And I feel suicidal pretty frequently. It sucks honestly! My whole mission in life is to become better then I am...which really does work out pretty well for me. I have learned how to keep myself in check, for the most part...
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quadrihorny Registered: 05/28/14 Posts: 371 Loc: Puerto Rico Last seen: 6 days, 13 hours |
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BPD sucks. Got diagnosed this year. I don't have much to say about it like all of you here, but it's just hard to do anything. I pretty much just isolate myself and live in a false reality.
I really wish I didn't have it. It's gonna be a long, hard life that I'm not excited for at all. -------------------- Legalize my iguana!
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error Registered: 08/20/10 Posts: 14,539 |
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Does weed help any of you guys at all?
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Enlil's Official Story Registered: 10/31/04 Posts: 21,407 Loc: Building 7 |
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Quote: Fuck. I pretty much just unsuccessfully try to isolate myself and live in the very real reality that I am a fucking lab rat. I got lab ratted several times in my life. I don't like it. Now that everyone is being lab ratted it would be nice to have some other lab rats to talk to about that, but lab rats just tend to scurry around and not say a whole bunch. Mostly, I hate everybody. People are walking assholes, in my humble opinion. They stink, their opinions stink, their judgmental bullshit including these ridiculous "diagnoses" stink like the assholes that perpetuate this nonsense. Stinky assholes judging people with their BS diagnoses, here as elsewhere, it gets old. Who is capable of judging you, but you? Don't listen to their stinky asshole nonsense. It stinks for a reason, because it's full of shit. -------------------- Anxiety is what you make it. Edited by LunarEclipse (08/28/16 03:24 AM)
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Registered: 04/24/16 Posts: 179 Loc: Ireland |
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Quote: It doesn't do anything for my mom or OHs BPD..it can actually increase anxiety. . Hard to tell if we had better choice of strains..if that then might make a difference
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Enlil's Official Story Registered: 10/31/04 Posts: 21,407 Loc: Building 7 |
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Quote: Helps with mine lol... -------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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quadrihorny Registered: 05/28/14 Posts: 371 Loc: Puerto Rico Last seen: 6 days, 13 hours |
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Quote: Same here. Levels me out a bit. Temper tantrums happen much less when I smoke. -------------------- Legalize my iguana!
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error Registered: 08/20/10 Posts: 14,539 |
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That is very promising. I'm the same way. I have a lot of other diagnoses but borderline seems to fit the most even though i havent recieved it as an official one from the docs, i'm a complete mess. A little marijuana if it's got a balanced cbd/thc level prevents me from going nuclear, the anxiety and further social awkwardness really suck on the other hand though.
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Fucked off to the pub Registered: 12/10/11 Posts: 14,146 |
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Quote: I used pot to cope with BPD for yeeeaars. Every day I could. It made me socialize better. It made me attack myself less. It made me question people less. But it eventually came full circle, it started to make me more paranoid and anxious to where I eventually became delusional and had a mental break a few years ago. Now I smoke and pretty much instantly have a panic attack. It sucks. I've yet to find any coping method that doesn't have me snap like a rubber band under tension after a little while. I function well enough but every few years shit starts falling apart. It sucks when you're constantly questioning your perception. I think everyone should. But it sucks when you feel so strongly about false perceptions. Recently made a thread in SR forum about how I'm not long term material. That shit kills me. I'm on the verge of breaking up with my gf because I feel like things.... Are going to get... Unstable... Soon... And I don't want to put her through that. Don't think she's in a position where she can deal with me in THAT mindset. I don't know if I can retrack myself if she gets as messy as I do. Instability feeds instability. Everyone eventually either gets tired of me or I drop off before that happens. I'm here at a point again where I don't really have any friends. I just have my girl. And I don't think I'll have her much longer. Family doesn't even know. I've hid it, like I hide most things from them, because they're the sort where best intentions pave the road to hell. I've had issues since I was a child, including anxiety and panic attacks and full meltdowns every few years as far back as preschool despite trying my best to be "good". Whoever said people with BPD need a yin to their yang, your dead on man. Shame that most people aren't cut out for that. And it's not fair to expect them to be. -------------------- Free time is the only time
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Legalize my iguana!
Free time is the only time
