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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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bad behavior
#23556215 - 08/19/16 08:44 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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how do you recognize and extricate yourselves from behaviors in your life that have negative effects on you?
im curious to know. there are a whole clump of personal behaviors that i do which i would classify as 'bad', either self destructive, or avoidance, or as a kind of retreat from reality.
among them would be smoking, drinking, eating, masturbating, bathing, gaming.. even sometimes browsing the shroomery .
i recognize these are mostly ok in moderation but that is somethign i am classically bad at ..
also, weirdly, sometimes doing something flagrantly self destructive (like smoking/drinking) has been the only way ive been able to deal at all with life and get up and out to do other things.. it seems sometimes how 'bad' something is and how much it actually helps me emotionally/psychologically survive and act in life is a lot greyer than id like it to be...
thoughts?
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deff
just love everyone



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Re: bad behavior [Re: quinn] 1
#23556251 - 08/19/16 09:03 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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i think the best way to extricate yourself from bad habits is to bring consciousness to the reasons why you're doing those bad habits - which admittedly can be difficult as it's often stemming from subconscious causes i think
also, self love is so important. i imagine that a lot of self-destructive behaviour stems from a lack of self love. and with self love, i find it best not to think of yourself in terms of a conceptual personality structure / ego first and foremost - but rather as that intangible unseen albeit felt and intuited inner essence - what is called the soul. and anchoring the self love into that innately innocent spark of being, and then radiating it out to include all the rest including the ego and personal mistakes and apparent shortcomings etc it really feels great
i think a lot of the time people think they have to be hard on themselves as a way of forcing themselves to become better by their own standards - when really, dropping the self flagellation and embracing your being in love and acceptance works to more quickly bring out the best in your being, way better than self criticism etc.. 
so being anchored in self-love, it becomes much easier to make choices that truly benefit your well-being, as after all you always want the best for what you love.
and you're so worthy of love quinn
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



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Re: bad behavior [Re: quinn]
#23556301 - 08/19/16 09:26 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's fun to knock shit over.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: bad behavior [Re: quinn] 2
#23556310 - 08/19/16 09:33 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Embrace being human.
Doing things that help you cope with your situation are not bad, they're just things you do at this point in your life. When you're ready to give them up, you'll give them up.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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i had serious hopes for this thread that you would respond to it with more than a one line picture joke or pun.. i have obviously failed
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: bad behavior [Re: cez]
#23556333 - 08/19/16 09:48 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
cez said: Embrace being human.
Doing things that help you cope with your situation are not bad, they're just things you do at this point in your life. When you're ready to give them up, you'll give them up.
that's true.. i guess, how do you know though when those 'coping' behaviors start becoming destructive? how do you stop yourself from going down the slope of one addiction or another that will land you in a support group?
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: bad behavior [Re: deff] 1
#23556338 - 08/19/16 09:51 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
deff said: i think the best way to extricate yourself from bad habits is to bring consciousness to the reasons why you're doing those bad habits - which admittedly can be difficult as it's often stemming from subconscious causes i think
yes, this i think is a big part of it (often the behaviors seem to be symptoms of deeper issues). confronting that and dealing with what you can or cant do about it seems to be the hard part 
Quote:
also, self love is so important. i imagine that a lot of self-destructive behaviour stems from a lack of self love. and with self love, i find it best not to think of yourself in terms of a conceptual personality structure / ego first and foremost - but rather as that intangible unseen albeit felt and intuited inner essence - what is called the soul. and anchoring the self love into that innately innocent spark of being, and then radiating it out to include all the rest including the ego and personal mistakes and apparent shortcomings etc it really feels great
i think a lot of the time people think they have to be hard on themselves as a way of forcing themselves to become better by their own standards - when really, dropping the self flagellation and embracing your being in love and acceptance works to more quickly bring out the best in your being, way better than self criticism etc.. 
so being anchored in self-love, it becomes much easier to make choices that truly benefit your well-being, as after all you always want the best for what you love.
and you're so worthy of love quinn 
nice (thx)
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



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Re: bad behavior [Re: quinn]
#23556354 - 08/19/16 09:56 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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No bad behavior allowed in a thread about bad behavior?
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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only my bad behavior is allowed
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: bad behavior [Re: quinn]
#23556502 - 08/19/16 11:00 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said:
Quote:
cez said: Embrace being human.
Doing things that help you cope with your situation are not bad, they're just things you do at this point in your life. When you're ready to give them up, you'll give them up.
that's true.. i guess, how do you know though when those 'coping' behaviors start becoming destructive? how do you stop yourself from going down the slope of one addiction or another that will land you in a support group?
Ime, I fall lower than my last lowest point, pick up the pieces and do it again. I don't think we can change ourselves without experiencing what we need to experience. Lasting change I think comes only with experience. You can conceptualize and try to bring awareness to yourself and your actions through mindfulness, meditation and all those tricks, but I think all you're doing is creating another identity for yourself if you're doing that stuff for self-improvement.
Let yourself destruct. You will still be here and now and eventually I think you'll get the message and that stuff you think is bad will end up being the vehicle to the stuff you think is good.
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zzripz
Stranger


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Re: bad behavior [Re: quinn] 2
#23557144 - 08/19/16 02:58 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said: that's true.. i guess, how do you know though when those 'coping' behaviors start becoming destructive? how do you stop yourself from going down the slope of one addiction or another that will land you in a support group?
lol, sorry I gotta laugh
we play games with ourself. we ask questions like: 'how do you stop yourself'? if YOU don't know how can another?
YOU stop yourself is who. Only you can do it 
so why can't you...? because at the moment you aren't. You may not have suffered a warning and so think it is alright. May not have insight into the dangers, or the present sht being caused by it. Take a gambler. The person who has a gamble habit, so I have heard, is getting off on that 'thrill' of 'living on a knife edge'. EVEN if he gets into massive debt he thinks he wants that sense of thrill. HE is choosing that, no one else. to stop it you stop. When you ask 'how' you are fooling yourself. But it also helps to ask for help if that makes sense? So I am not putting you down for doing that
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RJ Tubs 202


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Re: bad behavior [Re: quinn]
#23564836 - 08/22/16 01:24 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said:
how do you recognize and extricate yourselves from behaviors in your life that have negative effects on you?
We must identify the motivations for the behaviors that cause us suffering.
Often we engage in behavior that causes us suffering so we have a reason to criticize and hate ourselves.
(Self-hatred and narcissism are two sides of the same coin... ego)
Also, much of our behavior that causes us suffering is an attempt to escape from the present moment.
(We can't fucking drive a car without using our phones. That's insane. We're addicted to distraction.)
Much of our behavior that causes us suffering is a way to avoid difficult emotions.
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
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Re: bad behavior *DELETED* [Re: quinn]
#23566548 - 08/22/16 04:35 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Into The WoodsReason for deletion: .
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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the only bad behavior is not putting back a thing where it belongs.
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
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My math professor said that very same thing
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
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you're math professor must have been very calculating.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



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When he had constipation, he worked it out with a pencil.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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and he had tenure.
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


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