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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware] 1
#23555885 - 08/19/16 04:33 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
ruaware said:
Quote:
pineninja said: I think I was deluded so maybe I couldn't have been. Self important, egotistical meanings, purposeful outcomes unseen. The pointlessly whimsical Meandering of somebody going nowhere. When in fact I thought maybe there was a purpose, I found out what a scare!
Now here is where a few journeyman may have fallen. The realisation of uselessness to much for an ego swollen. Delusions of purpose is all that they are. When in fact comfort is found on a bridge too far.
We ain't going nowhere we ain't already been. You can relax like a sunset a beautiful slate cleaned. You see your unimportant's should allow a liberation. Help you dispel linear a scientific aberration.
Why did I think it was for a reason. I'm important an understandings treason. Needless Like a flower a smile or even a tasty treat. Otherwise the shock of it all might knock you off your feet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is its ok. Please don't feel wasted or a societal stray. When the burden of a never ending why is replaced by the simple glorious sky. Delusions of destinations will be defeated it's ok to fly.
I've never been into poems but that was great! wheres it from?
Its mine. I was lost much like you the pointless nature of being was almost overwhelming.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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nssurge
Stranger



Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 511
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware]
#23555890 - 08/19/16 04:40 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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The thing about phycadleics, and all the people talking about ego death and things, it often has the reverse effect of making people extremeley self obsessed. I have it myself and am trying to get over it
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: nssurge]
#23555894 - 08/19/16 04:44 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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You may have been self obsessed before but just in a different way. With time you may find that bettering yourself is akin to becoming more humble. Self aware and self obsessed can be confused.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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nssurge
Stranger



Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 511
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: pineninja]
#23555901 - 08/19/16 04:57 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
pineninja said: You may have been self obsessed before but just in a different way. With time you may find that bettering yourself is akin to becoming more humble. Self aware and self obsessed can be confused.
its true Ive always been self obsessed, in a kinda of delusional paranoid way. Maybe phycadelics have helped, im not sure. too much thinking not enough doing is what causes it i think, and phycadelic and marujuna use can encourage that i think
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"


Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 6 months, 12 days
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: nssurge]
#23556096 - 08/19/16 07:40 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've felt similar to what you describe.
For me when I was 19 (25 now) I got arrested and had to go thru this program for 5 months. When I got out I moved in with my grandparents and eventually started going to college, mostly because at the time I thought it was what I should do to better my life.
I took a philosophy class. And it exposed me to a lot of thoughts and ideas I had never been exposed to before. I was tripping semi regularly at the time and that class mixed with taking psychedelics really launched me onto a completely different path as far as my mental state and what I believed. There was a radical shift in my perspective of the world.
I got really into religion. Eastern religion. Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism. It taught me a lot and I learned a lot about myself. Taught me alot about how the mind works and how our mental states are formed. How we control our feelings with our thoughts. It also taught me one of the most beneficial practices that has helped me deal with depression and anger, which is meditation. Not to mention dealing with all sorts of different perspectives on existence and the true nature of reality.
I know you said you aren't religious and neither am I. i've never been into christianity and think it is very corrupted. But reading books on other religions have shown me a different perspective on what religion is. It taught me a lot over the years, and i still struggle with a lot of issues, but i am so much better than what I use to be, and where I use to be.
You're still young. We both are. Too young to understand everything about this world or this life. Give it more time. Keep fighting and see what this life has in store for you.
Perception is reality. Its all mental. As far as exercise goes, I am healthy physically, only because of the mental strength I have. It takes mental strength first in order to be diligent and consistent and determined enough to pursue physical exercise.
Mind body and spirit. For me, what helps keep me sane is exercise, eating healthy, meditation, psychedelics, and reading religious teaching that ancient humans came up with most likely with the aid of psychedelics. All while pursuing my personal goals in life thru furthering my education.
Stick around and keep positive and life will show you things you never expected. You just have to keep fighting.
Also, I don't understand how people can claim to know anything about the true nature of reality. We are so limited as human beings. We can live an entire life which is minuscule in terms of the larger scheme of things. And we will never be exposed to anything close to resembling the bigger picture.
What I believed about reality 5 years ago is so radically different from what I believe now, its proof that there is still so much that I do not know. Making it impossible for anything I believe to be truth to actually be truth. There is too much we are never and will never be exposed to.
We can never fully understand due to the limitations of the human mind in a universe and existence that has no limit. We are a slave to our own senses and perception. There is more to reality we can't even begin to grasp or comprehend. We are literally incapable of interpreting everything this universe has to offer.
Our perception of reality is no closer to the truth than what an ant could perceive and believe about its reality. At least that't my belief.
Humans have been around over 200 thousand years. Or so its been said. And every human thats lived has had a radically different perspective on exisetence. Our perspective is no closer to the truth than any of theirs. And I guarantee they are all radically different. What we believe about existence and reality is really just a figment of our own imagination. A construct of our mind based on what is available for us to perceive.
Everything is mental. Everything. Exercise the mind with meditation and teachings of the ancients. These humans that lived thousands of years ago and developed these religious teachings that were passed down thru generations orally before history, eventually being translated into writing in order to pass down a message to the souls that enter this realm after them, to me, their wisdom is beyond measure and there is nothing more beneficial to a lost soul than to study what they have to teach.
If you'd like, i have a few books I could suggest. They've helped me more than anything (possibly with the exception of psychedelics: and in my experience psychedelics have reinforced what was read and under the influence of psychedelics some of these teachings and messages have become much clearer.)
Good luck 
Oh also. I have also looked to psychedelics hoping they would solve my problems and cure me. I have tripped quite a few times. And there have been many times I have asked myself should I be doing this?
Personally I have never tripped and had any regrets about it. It has always been beneficial to me. Even in "dark" times of my life and times when my mind wasn't in the right state. You learn. You explore your thoughts and things emerge from the depths of your conscious or subconscious or whatever. I have always come out feeling better than when I went in.
Your journey is your own. Follow your passion.
Again, good luck.
-------------------- Within You , Without You
      
Edited by Enkidu (08/19/16 07:49 AM)
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: Enkidu]
#23556143 - 08/19/16 08:07 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I would knock off the LSD and give mushrooms a try.You may get some powerful and quite different revelations.
The other thing I have to offer is it is very difficult to "think" your way out of depression...It's like solving the problem with the mind that created it....doesn't work. Try some of the positive things that you don't want to do ...especially things that may help another that is hurting. To do these things, you need to get out of your comfort zone and socialize somehow. An old friend used to say wisely..."You can't think your way out of bad living ....but you can live your way out of bad thinking."
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Alonzo
Stranger

Registered: 08/06/16
Posts: 30
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware]
#23556314 - 08/19/16 09:35 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Nothing here matters.
Everyone dies. When your brain dies you lose all your memories, so...
We could've just stayed nonexistent since life is short anyway, but no... The good thing is that it's strictly your life and nobody can tell you what to do with your life. Why not go traveling, though. It could broaden your horizons. Don't make excuses why you can't travel, just make some rudimentary plans and go places.
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filthyknees
no coincidence


Registered: 03/08/13
Posts: 6,283
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: Alonzo]
#23556356 - 08/19/16 09:57 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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When I was your age I dropped out of school and went to work on a remote farm for months to meditate. Check out wwoof
-------------------- But if you're in a hurry, and really got to go If you're in a hurry, might have to find out slow That it's one thing to try and another to fly You get there quicker just a step at a time It's one thing to bark, another to bite The show ain't over till you pack up at night
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KindaWeird
Stranger



Registered: 03/09/16
Posts: 12
Loc: UK
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: filthyknees] 2
#23556433 - 08/19/16 10:32 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I couldn't just read and run. I'm 40 now, but when I was 19 or so I was very much the same way. Making small talk with people about shopping, shoes, celebrities, blah blah blah is excruciating. While exercise and a healthy diet are great for feeling better, they're not much use if you don't have the energy to put your shoes on, let alone go for a jog. I can only tell you what helped me and hopefully you can use some of it.
Help others. I prefer animals personally, they really need all the help they can get and humans tend to bite more. Try something small, an online group or whatnot. Doing something real and making an actual difference in life gives me meaning out of the chaos and nothingness of life. Volunteering at a dog shelter, even if its just to go in and give attention to the pooches, takes me out of my head (where the troubles start) and makes another being happy, which makes me happy.
-------------------- “That sounds impossible," said the hatter. "We absolutely must give it a try!”
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AuroraBorealis88
Stranger


Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 5,871
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware]
#23556807 - 08/19/16 12:56 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Spirituality is biological that's the part you missed.
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theGODSmademedoit

Registered: 03/04/16
Posts: 516
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every one has those thoughts at some point in life....Everyones in the same boat as you tryn to figure how to be happy. ...Its your ego thats keeping you from people. How are you any diffrent? Try and get out of your box and find a little common ground with people....Theye on the whole are equally trying to find there way.. Some people are good at faking that nothing is wrong....others wear there heart on there sleeve.
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DustyBottoms



Registered: 11/07/14
Posts: 3,071
Loc: TheUnderbelly
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware] 1
#23557875 - 08/19/16 06:43 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hey man. I've been there. Life is a funny thing, and not to sound like a fortune cookie, but it is what you make it.
Have you considered seeing a therapist? I've been in and out a few times over the years and it has definitely helped. I've seen friends transform to a completely different, better person after a few treatments...or maybe they just became their real selves? Maybe there's a proper script out there that would get you out of your funk?
Do stuff. Read stuff. Travel. Find a hobby, especially one that gives your mind/head a break - mine is long distance cycling...fucking love it. Feel so free and it's a good way to detach from my problems and just zone out for a bit. Exercise in general is very important in keeping the mind and body on point.
How about getting yourself a dog? Therapy animals exist for a reason. Plus it'll keep you active and is a great way to meet/connect with people.
Get out there and experience as much in this world as you can. That's when I feel that I started pulling my head out of my own ass. And the more you know/do etc, the more you will be able to relate to all sorts of different people, which should help meeting people and making friends. I'm a pretty anti social guy overall and I'm working at changing that - I mean really working on it, however painful it may be at times.
Check out Dale Carnegie's How to Make Friends and Influence People. Read it once quickly, then read a chapter a week and TRULY work on what he's preaching before moving onto the next chapter. The book was written ions ago, but it still holds up all this time later.
As for psych trips go, I would consider mushrooms over L given your state but that's just my opinion. I feel so much more open to new experiences after getting back into them a few years ago. I think my default answer to doing things was always "no" but for no reason. Now I RARELY say no to shit and just go with the flow to see where it takes me. It has been the most rewarding change in my life. To date. L sometimes puts me in a strange headspace in the days/weeks and sometimes even months after. I've decided to take a little break from it actually.
Best of luck man. You're only 19 yrs old which is NOTHING in the grand scheme of things. I wasn't even 1/100th of the person then as I am today. I'm 35 now and have learned more in the last 3-4 years than I have in the preceding 30+ yrs.
I'm just curious, but where do you live? I've bounced around a lot over the years (Iowa, OK, TX, CA, CO, NY) and each place has presented its own challenges in meeting people, making friends, and having shit to do.
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theGODSmademedoit

Registered: 03/04/16
Posts: 516
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: DustyBottoms] 1
#23557887 - 08/19/16 06:47 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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No he just said therapist...the...rapist..shits in the fine print man...
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DustyBottoms



Registered: 11/07/14
Posts: 3,071
Loc: TheUnderbelly
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Quote:
theGODSmademedoit said: No he just said therapist...the...rapist..shits in the fine print man...
Clever, but that doesn't make it right. If that's the road someone wants to go down and give it a go, you need to bounce around until you find the right therapist. Which can take some time, especially for someone that doesn't really like to open up or connect with strangers.
And it's just an option - one of many that I gave or others have given in this thread. Try one or try none. But I would definitely recommend that he try something to get out of this funk.
And fuck lifting weights, OP. At least as your main focus for exercise. Do something that has you moving more, breathing heavier. And ideally something that's outside.
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Filterhead462
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 507
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: DustyBottoms]
#23557993 - 08/19/16 07:23 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Dont worry about trying to feel normal dude, i think alot of folks here are far from normal, myself included  What is normal anyway?
--------------------
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion
Edited by Filterhead462 (08/19/16 07:24 PM)
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:34 PM)
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Sean one me
Stranger

Registered: 08/19/16
Posts: 1
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: DustyBottoms]
#23558171 - 08/19/16 08:16 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I need help identifying
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:34 PM)
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:34 PM)
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DustyBottoms



Registered: 11/07/14
Posts: 3,071
Loc: TheUnderbelly
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: Sean one me]
#23558270 - 08/19/16 08:47 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sean one me said: I need help identifying
Ah shit man. That had to be your very first post?
And I'm good but thanks. Just always trying to explore myself and the world around me. I've been in the same headspace as this dude before and I'm just trying to help. That's all.
Welcome to shroomery.
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