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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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#23555756 - 08/19/16 01:57 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:32 PM)
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HamHead
Hard Ass Motherfucker



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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware]
#23555792 - 08/19/16 02:49 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I dunno, maybe get into solar technologies or something.
Mathematics is always interesting.
Physics is something I wish now I would have learned more about, this physical world and how we're able to manipulate matter to create the very world we live in.
If I had any useful advice to give, be a sponge. Learn as much as you can, because knowledge is a form of power. . .
And don't worry too much about life, it goes on with or without you. Better off with you than without!
Have a good day man, or woman, or whatever you like to call your 'self'
-------------------- The Italian researchers’ findings, published by the INT’s scientific magazine Tumori Journal, show 11.6% of 959 healthy volunteers enrolled in a lung cancer screening trial between September 2019 and March 2020 had developed coronavirus antibodies well before February. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-timing-idUSKBN27V0KF This online first version has been peer-reviewed, accepted and edited, but not formatted and finalized with corrections from authors and proofreaders https://www.icandecide.org/
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big_scrappy97
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware]
#23555795 - 08/19/16 02:51 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hey man. I was in the same situation as you were in about a year ago or so. Mine was due to a bad trip where I unveiled truths in my life and the world. You may just be a biological being, but you have a purpose. Every single being on this earth has a purpose. Every single thing affects another being in one way or another. Since you are an atheist as well, you should know you only have one life. Just think how you were one of the millions of sperm cells to meet the one egg out of the many times your mother has ovulated (sorry to get a little weird). There is such a small chance to have life in general and a small chance for you to be that one egg that was fertilized out of the hundreds your mother has gone through. You, are in fact a miracle. Life is a very, very small chance. Keep reminding yourself this and live each and every day to the fullest.
In order to be happy, you have to find something to live for. Find an activity you really enjoy doing. You may enjoy fixing cars, painting, making music, etc. Find something that makes yourself proud that says "this is who I am". Lay off the psychs for a bit. Start joining classes at your local rec center or library. Find new friends whom you share common interests with through these classes. You are also in college which sets up a whole new array of friends you can have. Join a club that you think you would find interest in. You need social interaction more than anything it seems right now.
Also, hitting the weights wouldn't be a bad idea. It got me out of my funk. I weighed 240 and began leading a healthier lifestyle. I dropped down to 190 over the course of a few months with lifting and exercising. I had something to be proud of. Something as little as that gave me purpose again. Girls were much easier to get. Friends were much easier to get. People started to actually see me as a person again.
There is actual science behind it all. I am sure you have heard of the 4 "happy chemicals" in the brain- dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Setting goals in the weight room and achieving them makes you release dopamine. Serotonin regulates your mood. A good way to get the serotonin up is getting some sunshine, exercising, and eliminating sugar. You are probably low on oxytocin as well which is the "love" and social chemical. Skin contact releases it and so does socializing. Get out of your comfort zone and join those clubs for your own well-being. Endorphins are released when exercising and laughing. There are two repetitive ways to release all these chemicals- social interaction and exercising. Focus on those two and give it a few months. It took me about a year to finally find myself again.
Best of luck.
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zonin
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware]
#23555796 - 08/19/16 02:51 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Bruv we all feel that way sometimes one of the things I am having to come to terms with is the fact that people are sick(mentally) and you should be very grateful for who you are even if you are an Outcast or see yourself in an unpleasant way at least you aren't a sheep and can have psychedelic experiences and think different it's who you are.
Even if it was different it wouldn't be your life nothing will change who you are but you have the ability to make your life what ever you make of it.
I know what you mean and think about death/suicide every now and then especially when I am looking down on myself and the world.
You are who you are and things change in the blink of an eye try not to focus on the negative things in your life but instead try and focus on the positives, Family,food,water,a roof over your head and the beauty of this world.
I would say I have been where you are a few years back I had no friends, no motivation, no self esteem but what turned my views around were Psilocybin mushrooms they appeared when I was 16 and in a very dark part of my life. I was at school by myself at the end of the day, my bike had a flat tyre so I was pumping it up and as I was pumping the tyre up I noticed P. Subaeruginosa about 10 medium to mature fruits in a chip garden hiding under a flax about 2 meters in front of me. I was borderline suicidal I had horrible Acne and no friends because of my low self esteem and confidence.
After that night, my first trip on mushrooms I had to come to terms with a lot of things that I had repressed that were making me depressed like the fact that I was a loner. But I came to the realization that people are in your life for a reason and like you I find it quite hard to talk mundane bullshit to people because that isn't important to me. After that night it was like a weight had been lifted because I had found inner peace, which for me is more important then stupid mundane drunken idiot friends.
Just see how it pans out bro I guarantee you will manifest what you desire just don't stress out about life to much we all die in the end anyway.
Hope that wasn't as random as I feel it was, much love bro stay trippy
-------------------- But some of you, won't survive the changes the earth makes Swallowed by tsunamis, hurricanes and earthquakes And that's just the first stage if you can not reverse ways And realise that we are one, regardless of our birthplace
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nssurge
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: zonin]
#23555799 - 08/19/16 02:56 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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in all seriousness do you go gym? if your a 19 year old male and are feeling in a existential masturbation crisis, go lift some weights.
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:33 PM)
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Eggtimer
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware] 2
#23555819 - 08/19/16 03:15 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sorry this post is messy as fuck because I took some stuff out of other threads I've posted on.
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If dying is going to sleep and never waking up then life is waking up never having gone to sleep. -Alan watts
we are faced with the following remarkable…situation. While the stuff from which our world picture is built is yielded exclusively from the sense organs as organs of the mind, so that every man’s world picture is and always remains a construct of his mind and cannot be proved to have any other existence, yet the conscious mind itself remains a stranger within that construct, it has no living space in it, you can spot it nowhere in space. -Erwin Schroedinger
DMT breakthrough is what changed it for me. I was in a very similar situation as you. Existential nihilist at a young age. Tried to kill myself at 12 but pussied out when I felt my eyes bulging and start blacking out. Never told anyone. I started to turn things around when I was your age. The biggest thing that helped me was a dmt breakthrough. It completely change they way I looked at everything.
If you're thinking your thoughts then who's listening?
The mental landscape seems unchangeable to most people but just like in the external world your metal landscape is made of habits. Instead of getting down on yourself every time you make a small mistake and saying "I'm a fucking idiot" you just ask well "is that really true?" and slowly you quit doing that.
When dealing with people you would prefer not to deal with try not to think of them as assholes or pieces of shit. This creates an internal struggle and will pull you right out of the peaceful state you may be in. More likely than not they aren't trying to treat you bad they feel bad intenerally and take it out on everyone else. If you try to avoid them it'll create an anxiety/tension that feels pretty shitty. I would say don't avoid anything that you want to avoid. I know it sounds odd but when you stop avoiding things then the tension goes away. Kill them with genuine kindness.
Try to live without expectations and stay in the now. Expectations are a lie because none of us have a choice where/when we're born and this is what creates our life experience and gives us the expectations we have for others and the world. Since none of us have a choice it's a giant scam. You may perceive someone as being rude to you but to them they were perfectly kind. They might not even understand what their doing is detrimental behavior. It's also possible they have such low self-esteem they can't see the value in others because they can't see it in themselves. You would be surprised how many people feel unworthy of the affection of others so they are mean to everyone.
REMEMBER NO ONE THINKS ABOUT YOU LIKE YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF THEY"RE TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THEIR SELF
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Suffering is forgetting who you really are.
We suffer when we don’t see this completeness – this intimacy – within the present experience. When we don’t see that every wave that’s presently appearing is part of the ocean and therefore allowed in the ocean, we start trying to escape this moment to attempt to reach the next moment. We experience ourselves as not whole or somehow broken so we attempt to move away from this moment. In truth, that movement is not actually possible but we try anyway because that’s how we are programmed. We try to move away from this moment to get to the next moment, to tomorrow or next year or to ten years time. We start to use time to achieve this. This is the origin of suffering. We try to escape what’s happening now. We try to run away from aspects of our present experience. We try to escape these thoughts, sensations and feelings and get to a future place where things will be better. That’s the movement of suffering.
Within suffering you’ll always find seeking. Seeking is the basic mechanism behind all of our suffering. We label certain elements of experience ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ or ‘dark’ or ‘dangerous’ or ‘unhealthy’ and that’s because of our conditioning. We have been conditioned to label things as ‘fear’, ‘sadness’, ‘anger’, and do on, and to judge these as negative, or not-okay, or bad, or sinful – basically as expressions of incompleteness, as threats to completeness. Because we don’t seethe completeness in these waves, because we can’t find the ocean within these so-called ‘negative’ waves, we try to escape them and that movement ‘away from’ creates the suffering. Then we create stories and identities around this suffering: ‘Oh, I’m a victim of my suffering. I’m a victim of fear and pain! Why is this happening to me? How can I escape this experience?‘
Suffering is a great teacher. Maybe it’s the best teacher but we often don’t see that, because we don’t realise what suffering really is. Normally, we do all sorts of things to avoid, deny and numb our suffering. We take medication, drink alcohol or try to distract ourselves. Of course, there’s ultimately nothing with doing these things either! But suffering is always an opportunity; it’s an invitation to discover the completeness in what you are running away from. Which aspects of your experience right now are not okay? Which waves (thoughts, sensations, and feelings) of the ocean are being rejected right now? Which waves are not being seen as part of the ocean? Basically, what are you at war with? This is always the question that suffering leads you to.
Within the experience of suffering you’ll always find seeking. You can believe as much as you like that you’re not seeking, or that you are free from the self, but whenever there’s suffering there’s seeking. It’s the story of ‘me’ looking for something, escaping something; it’s the story of incompleteness or of feeling that there’s something wrong with you. So, the invitation – not a demand – is to take a look at what you are at war with right now. What’s the story? What are the images you are trying to hold up? What are you defending? What are you rejecting? What are you running away from? Look a little deeper. Perhaps these images of yourself are not who you really are. Maybe these stories don’t define you.
We suffer when we try to hold up images of ourselves – ‘I’m strong, I’m enlightened, I’m a success, I’m loving, I’m kind, I’m happy’ – which conflict with life as it is. And in the end, all images conflict with life as it is – no image can match this moment. This moment is the fire that burns up all images. In this moment there could be pain, sadness, fear –any image that says that what’s appearing shouldn’t be appearing, that you should be happy, or free from pain, is a false image.
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"There is a simple inquiry for dealing with denial and projection. When something is bothering you and it brings you into conflict with some object - the most common is another person, although you can imagine you are at war with the society, the government, the church, the corporations, the weather the list is endless - you ask yourself if it is true that one of the hooks for these projections is actually responsible for your bad feelings.
Of course your ego is going to say that it is. The ego has a vested interest in it's projections. Projections protect it and keep it in business. They bolster it's self-esteem, it's sense of rightness. It needs to think that it is innocent. Actually it is innocent insofar as it is actually self. Unfortunately, Maya(illusion) has seen to it that it does not know the truth of it's nature and it thinks it is a person because it is conditioned by society; nothing projects like a group of individuals. Societies have ready-made enemies at their fingertips. Hitler had the Jews, Stalin the petty bourgeois capitalists, the Christians Satan, whites the blacks, husbands wives and wives husbands. We need someone to blame. I cannon be the problem. But the truth is: I am the problem. There is no problem apart from me.
This method takes the ego into account and asks "Is it really true that..." Sometimes it is true that the world is out to get you. So you need to look at the facts closely and see if it is reasonable to assume that the problem lies elsewhere. Not all problems are caused by the world. In fact, very few problems are centered on objects. Even if an object is causing the problem, is it really a problem apart from the thought that it is a problem? If it isn't, then all problems ultimately belong to me.
In the third stage of this inquiry you go a bit deeper. You inquire into the reason you have the problem. You say "who would I be without this belief?" This is the hard part because this is where you discover that the problem is essential to your identity. The answers always is "I would be happy"
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Eggtimer said: "Man is the by-product of mere chance." - I am a worthless person "We live in a universe alien, cold, and dead." - The world is an inhospitable place "We have come from nothingness and will return to nothingness." - My past is a tragedy; my future is hopeless


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Beck suggested that depressed people draw illogical conclusions about situations, and these lead to a distortion of reality, which manifest in the magnification of negative experiences and the trivialization of neutral or positive ones.
The cognitive triad is the source of the extremely low self-esteem of depressed subjects. Indeed it can lead to micromanic(the opposite of grandiose) delusions, manifesting in the extreme form as psychosis.
Science is not illogical, but may suffer from overexclusiveness. It must be biased in that direction in order to build a consistent knowledge system by keep "soft" poorly validated concepts outside of its domain. Nevertheless, what lies outside of the semantic universe of "official science" today may be part of it tomorrow.
Edit: Posted a better video.
-------------------- It's all for the s
Edited by Eggtimer (08/19/16 03:18 AM)
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: Eggtimer] 1
#23555821 - 08/19/16 03:19 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think I was deluded so maybe I couldn't have been. Self important, egotistical meanings, purposeful outcomes unseen. The pointlessly whimsical Meandering of somebody going nowhere. When in fact I thought maybe there was a purpose, I found out what a scare!
Now here is where a few journeyman may have fallen. The realisation of uselessness to much for an ego swollen. Delusions of purpose is all that they are. When in fact comfort is found on a bridge too far.
We ain't going nowhere we ain't already been. You can relax like a sunset a beautiful slate cleaned. You see your unimportant's should allow a liberation. Help you dispel linear a scientific aberration.
Why did I think it was for a reason. I'm important an understandings treason. Needless Like a flower a smile or even a tasty treat. Otherwise the shock of it all might knock you off your feet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is its ok. Please don't feel wasted or a societal stray. When the burden of a never ending why is replaced by the simple glorious sky. Delusions of destinations will be defeated it's ok to fly.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:33 PM)
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Hippiekush420
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware] 1
#23555827 - 08/19/16 03:25 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I had a problem similarly to yours I'm not good at giving advice sorry but I hope you get thru it my dude just think positive vibes
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big_scrappy97
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Registered: 07/01/14
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware]
#23555836 - 08/19/16 03:34 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am aware of how incredible unlikely it was for me to have been created and now sit in my room and typing on shroomery. But at the same time i don't feel that the rarity necessarily makes it a good thing.
I think i know what i want to do with life. Im majoring in chemistry. Theres no doubt that i want to major in chemistry, but its too early to tell if this is one of those things that will change my life. And i agree that i need social interaction. However, the thing that caused my breakdown was because i decided to leave my comfort zone and go interact with people yesterday. Which once again im happy i broke down.
Even if i could life right now, i dont think i would. But i've been aware of needing some hobby that isn't just learning things.
No one can make you "life". Only you can. YOU decide your happiness. No one else will give it to you. Hitting the gym and socializing seem like the two best options for you assuming you do neither. Those take work. You seem like you happily will work for school and your future (which is great) but what about the now? It seems there won't be a future if you don't focus on the now. Put your work into your academics. Also put your work into your own personal well-being. Find a good balance. If you don't want to "life" then why did you post on here in the first place? It is impossible to be happy if you continue what you have been doing.
"If you do what you have always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." -Tony Robbins
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big_scrappy97
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: ruaware]
#23555842 - 08/19/16 03:41 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I started lifting at 15. I tore my right rotator cuff. And i have a lot of joint pain now. I can't play basketball now. And i'm having back pain at 19 that 40 year olds are having. Not really a big issue for me though.
You only tear a muscle or ligament from improper form and/or too much weight. This also happens if you overtrain that muscle group. As for the back pain, that could easily be from sitting around all day not exercising. Sitting down puts a lot of stress on your lower back. Sounds like someone is making excuses.
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:33 PM)
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nssurge
Stranger



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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: big_scrappy97]
#23555859 - 08/19/16 04:06 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
big_scrappy97 said:
Quote:
I started lifting at 15. I tore my right rotator cuff. And i have a lot of joint pain now. I can't play basketball now. And i'm having back pain at 19 that 40 year olds are having. Not really a big issue for me though.
You only tear a muscle or ligament from improper form and/or too much weight. This also happens if you overtrain that muscle group. As for the back pain, that could easily be from sitting around all day not exercising. Sitting down puts a lot of stress on your lower back. Sounds like someone is making excuses. 
fairplay, im about your age and i get agonising sciatica from overdoing at that age too Keep it up, hows your skin out of interest? on your face and feet. do you look healthy?
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big_scrappy97
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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: nssurge]
#23555864 - 08/19/16 04:13 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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fairplay, im about your age and i get agonising sciatica from overdoing at that age too Keep it up, hows your skin out of interest? on your face and feet. do you look healthy?
Not sure if you are talking to me or him..but I'll assume you were talking to me since you quoted me. It is best to work a muscle group once a week and maybe twice MAX. Even doing it twice is only alright for a very short period of time with high reps low volume. The only muscle groups that are alright to work often are your forearms and abdomen.
My skin is great. Eliminating all carbs really cleared up my face from any acne. I look and feel healthy.
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nssurge
Stranger



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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: big_scrappy97]
#23555867 - 08/19/16 04:17 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
big_scrappy97 said:
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fairplay, im about your age and i get agonising sciatica from overdoing at that age too Keep it up, hows your skin out of interest? on your face and feet. do you look healthy?
Not sure if you are talking to me or him..but I'll assume you were talking to me since you quoted me. It is best to work a muscle group once a week and maybe twice MAX. Even doing it twice is only alright for a very short period of time with high reps low volume. The only muscle groups that are alright to work often are your forearms and abdomen.
My skin is great. Eliminating all carbs really cleared up my face from any acne. I look and feel healthy.
sorry i was trying to talk to op Glad your all healthy as well though !!
I think physical and mental health are often the same thing
Edited by nssurge (08/19/16 04:17 AM)
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:34 PM)
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big_scrappy97
Lurker



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Re: Very lost in life, a personal problem [Re: nssurge]
#23555869 - 08/19/16 04:20 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
I think physical and mental health are often the same thing
I was trying to get that to OP. Being physically healthy leads to being mentally healthy as for all the reasons I stated above. It seems like OP doesn't want to take my advice though.
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:37 PM)
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 11:37 PM)
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