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Anonymous #1

Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: micro] * 1
    #23554001 - 08/18/16 04:52 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Monogamy is not possession. At all. To be honest that whole of the conversation is not worth having, the contrast for the definition of love between poly and monogamous folks is akin to politics. There's no right answer. I've seen that circular argument enough times.

Right now I'm between 3 women. I like it and I don't. It's not exactly a consensual agreement. So there's that, but because of this situation I do understand how you can relate to your sexuality outside of monogamy. Being someone who's experience is vastly in long, faithful relationships, most of all what I'm learning is that things are really coming in to perspective for me... I could never truly love more than one person at a time, because to me, real love takes commitment and the whole of who you are. That's just part of the deal. But also what I've learned is I think a lot of the sluttiness has to do with self esteem, needing the approval of others.

Just as well, as someone who has endeavoured to learn from the various religions of the world,  I believe that temptation is part of what it means to be your own person. I see balance, that just means you need to resist as much as you give in to. Without temptation there is no ambition, and without ambition you don't go anywhere. So, to me, if you try to love too many people you're not loving anyone at all, but rather trying to love yourself. There is a definite contrast between lust and love and I feel that many don't see the difference. Not that I'm saying I don't believe that you can intimately love more than one person simultaneously, I'm sure you can. I just don't think it's common. People get swept up by lust all too often.


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Invisiblemicro
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23554053 - 08/18/16 05:07 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I don't mean to have a relationship with more than one person, and I agree with what you said. I could only have one boyfriend but what I was asking is why not have sex with others on the side. It only makes sense to me. Besides, it can still be intimate if both you and your partner play with someone else. That's fun, too :3


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OfflineVisionary Tools
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: micro]
    #23554268 - 08/18/16 06:01 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

For what it's worth, I've done one night stands, and risky play, never wore a condom. I had a blood test six years ago, I was clean for everything. Since then, I've had one sexual partner, he was a virgin at the time. Since then, no std's whatsoever.

I'd have liked to have more sex since then, but I just want one person, I want that close emotional bond.

I went to Malta a few months ago, and when I was there I saw what I am convinced is a brothel. I walked past it a few times, and once, when drunk, I thought about going to it all day. I didn't in the end.

I knew someone similar to you Micro, I loved him, ever such a kinky guy. He used to jerk off all the time, he confided in me once that he came so many times in one day that he came blood. Shit, most I've ever done in one day was five. I consider myself a hedonist, I love my pleasures, especially food, but I feel sorry for people when it's not enough, when the pleasure doesn't satisfy them.

Either way, I hope you can find some satisfaction, and if you haven't already, use coconut oil <3


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Invisiblemicro
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Visionary Tools]
    #23554347 - 08/18/16 06:29 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, I'm moving to NJ and there's some boys there I like, who also like me. I lived in the Castro in SF for six years. The gay scene scared me. I had a friend who fucked around and got HIV. That's why I only mess around with people i know. But yeah... Tomorrow I'm going to be meeting up with a friend of mine and Saturday possibly another.


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Invisiblemicro
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: micro]
    #23554469 - 08/18/16 07:00 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Okay well now it's a threesome.

This is happening rather quickly...


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: micro]
    #23554503 - 08/18/16 07:09 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

You seem absolutely intent on steering this conversation towards your own sexual exploits micro.

Perhaps you should start a new thread, or a journal, so you can talk about them as much as you like without derailing the topic at hand?


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Invisiblemicro
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23554518 - 08/18/16 07:13 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Don't be hatin'

My plane is gonna take off anyway


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Edited by micro (08/18/16 07:14 PM)


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: micro] * 1
    #23555000 - 08/18/16 09:06 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Basically Micro is hiding behind his homosexuality in an attempt to not sound like a dirty disguisting whore. If a straight man were to say these things he'd be a pig but you're just a gay man, you can't even help yourself (in your mind)

I don't even care about being an asshole troll when the S&R forum is being wasted on someone like OP. Post your gross shit in the Pube


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Invisiblemicro
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: bloodsheen]
    #23555279 - 08/18/16 10:10 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Basically Micro is hiding behind his homosexuality in an attempt to not sound like a dirty disguisting whore. If a straight man were to say these things he'd be a pig but you're just a gay man, you can't even help yourself (in your mind)

I don't even care about being an asshole troll when the S&R forum is being wasted on someone like OP. Post your gross shit in the Pube




If a straight man were to say this stuff that would make him a guy. Ive never met a straight guy who didn't really like sex (funny enough, most of them tried to fuck me so I don't know what straight really means).

So yeah, I'm a disgusting whore aka a guy.


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OfflineOliverJames
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: micro]
    #23555570 - 08/18/16 11:48 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

You just sound like an insanely egotistical person who cant see past their own perception of sexuality

You ever think that there might be someone who doesnt derive much pleasure from sex when their isnt an emotional bond behind it? Or someone who is fully satisfied by their monogamous partner and doesnt need other sexual partners to fulfil them?

In my mind your just a victim of your own biological makeup. Based on this thread, I'm not nearly as horny as you, and I'm happy I'm not haha. I dont constantly need to seek out others to satiate myself


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Invisiblemicro
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: OliverJames]
    #23555675 - 08/19/16 12:46 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, it's annoying sometimes. Like.. even in work I often get real horny, can't think about anything but sex and have to go fap in the restroom. That actually happened multiple times in a day. All in all I like it though. Sex is fun


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OfflineRosen_Rot
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Visionary Tools]
    #23555724 - 08/19/16 01:23 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Which brothel did you visit Vision ?? or at least the one you were eyeing ?? :lol:

Usually for cheap hook ups peeps go to Testaferrata street, it#s where the hoes are at but in Malta is kind of dangerous with all the immigrants coming in and basically no medical cares for hookers and the like

I think you did good not visiting one. Its a waste of time and money. The strip joints are even worse. You're better off picking up local chicks, or going to Paceville, hitting Nordic and just sleep with the drunkest sket you find in there :shrug:


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OfflineAcaterpillar
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23556600 - 08/19/16 11:45 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I kind of empathize with Micro because I have a really high sex drive and at times it is frustrating to keep in check.
I don't sympathize with the sexual deviance though, and the urge to corrupt innocence.
I've always gone for girls with experience and who already know what they like. Virgins are prettier from afar.


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Invisiblemicro
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Acaterpillar]
    #23556723 - 08/19/16 12:35 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Corrupting innocence is my fetish :V


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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23560260 - 08/20/16 03:26 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rosen_Rot said:
Which brothel did you visit Vision ?? or at least the one you were eyeing ?? :lol:

Usually for cheap hook ups peeps go to Testaferrata street, it#s where the hoes are at but in Malta is kind of dangerous with all the immigrants coming in and basically no medical cares for hookers and the like

I think you did good not visiting one. Its a waste of time and money. The strip joints are even worse. You're better off picking up local chicks, or going to Paceville, hitting Nordic and just sleep with the drunkest sket you find in there :shrug:




*takes notes*

You know, there's a massage parlour not too far from where I live, known about it for years, some times when I've been flush with money I've thought to myself "I'll go in there any get a happy ending." But in the end I usually spend that money on more weed. Or save up for a holiday.

I didn't go in the end. It was on one of the streets in Qawra, not too far from the church.


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OfflineRosen_Rot
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Visionary Tools]
    #23562195 - 08/21/16 06:13 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

<!--//-->
Quote:

Visionary Tools said:
"I'll go in there any get a happy ending." But in the end I usually spend that money on more weed.





:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:


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OfflineShadeOfDeepPurple
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23564656 - 08/21/16 11:57 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I'm in a relationship with myself

Although I see a girl called Mary pretty often.


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: ShadeOfDeepPurple]
    #23565222 - 08/22/16 07:42 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

To me, at this point in life, monogamy seems silly.  To be honest, all labels seem silly.  Im not looking to settle down or have kids anytime soon, never looking to get married.  I just want to be able to flow.  When i'm with a partner and someone asks if we are dating or just friends, it's so weird.  What do we say?  I ended up choosing "Oh we are just best friends.."

We make all this stuff so complicated when it really isnt.  Everyone thinks end game before the end of the first quarter.  Lol we are all so young no need to get your head up into your 40's...  That being said sex does bring connection n jealousy is a thing most people experience, so you gotta be considerate of your friends feelings when going out with them...dont go run off with another girl thats just a dick move.

I definitely feel that most heteronormative monogamous relationships are definitely about power and possession though.  I own you youre MY girlfriend you can't look at other guys or flirt with other guys.  It stems from insecurity methinks.  It can be done right, but it's so rare that it is.  It seems to me that a lot of the time people just settle or try to lock someone down cuz theyre lonely and that most relationships are toxic as fuck and prevent you from growing.


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InvisibleCalifornia
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: TheMovement] * 1
    #23570640 - 08/23/16 09:01 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:


I definitely feel that most heteronormative monogamous relationships are definitely about power and possession though.  I own you youre MY girlfriend you can't look at other guys or flirt with other guys.  It stems from insecurity methinks. 



Of course you would feel that way.:lol:


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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
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Re: Why do people try to have monogamous relationships [Re: California]
    #23570767 - 08/23/16 09:34 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I used to be strictly poly. could never see myself settling down with just one person. but the older I get and the busier my life becomes, the harder it is to maintain even the one relationship I currently have.

we have discussed making it an open relationship in the future, but for now we are monogamous and both of us are finding it surprisingly fulfilling.


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