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happyshroomer123
Stranger

Registered: 10/09/15
Posts: 73
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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I think my ASD made me become insane
#23550786 - 08/17/16 06:30 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have an autism spectrum disorder, intelligence is normal, but my social deficits are big.. Other problems are a very rigid way of thinking and poor executive function. I can't hold a job for more than a few months. There are positive things too, I have 2 good friends but they don't know the 'real me', they don't know the crazy thoughts I get and the crazy things I do.
The thing that made me feel suicidal is my porn/sex addiction. I don't know how it happened but my sexuality has changed. I started looking at tranny porn in 2013 and now it's the only thing that turns me on. I get big urges to see a transsexual escort but I know I will hate myself afterwards and worry a lot about HIV. I don't know how I can live a decent life. I want to be able to connect to others and maybe even get a GF or transsexual GF doesn't matter as long as I don't have to pay for intimacy. I used to see female escorts frequently but it was very bad for my mental health. I know some people with autism are able to cope well, but I just wish I didn't have this disorder. I know I would be so much happier without it. I with I could keep my good traits and eliminate the bad ones. Psychedelics have helped me sometimes, but I've had two bad trips, I turn very introspective and my emotions become uncontrolable.
Do you think there is a way out of this madness or am I better off leaving this world? I'm on antidepressants but they don't seem to help much. I know it sounds weak but I just can't cope anymore
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nuds



Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 578
Loc: Australia, NSW
Last seen: 6 months, 6 hours
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I reallly reeeeaaalllyyyy dont think having a 'niche' (per se) sexuality is a reason to be suicidal. Just rock it dude, dont run. Go smash some tranny bums and suck some tranny dick, if its behind closed doors and it makes you happy, then who the fuck cares?
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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You're not insane for liking what you like, get that shit out of your head, you're fine. Everybody, and I do mean EVERYBODY has their kinks, those that say they don't are lying.
Also, don't hide who you are, if you like chicks with dicks, then goddammit plow some chicks with dicks, fuck everybody else, not accepting yourself will be detrimental to your health. You can always log on here and be yourself.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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I don't see the problem, trannies can be hot.
Just wear a condom.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 3 hours, 2 minutes
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Re: I think my ASD made me become insane [Re: Moonshoe]
#23552827 - 08/18/16 10:15 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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They both should wear a condom
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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falsereality


Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 4,112
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Re: I think my ASD made me become insane [Re: koods]
#23552843 - 08/18/16 10:23 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Everyone's sexuality is different, definitely don't worry about being into whatever you're into. I have a friend that likes to have ginger shoved up her ass and get caned until she's bleeding. That's a dark soul right there and she still is perfectly functional in life.
You know, I have to ask since you're on the shroomery, was your mental health acutely negatively affected by psychedelics? If I were you I would take a long break from any recreational drugs you're doing (don't stop or alter prescribed drug usage!) and see if that helps. I would also be ultra cautious using drugs in the future, they aren't for everybody.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Hi there OP. I'm ASD as well, and have similar problems with work and stuff. It's very hard to stay regularly employed. I too have thoughts of 'leaving' as you say pretty often, but i always just push those aside and things get better eventually. Mostly though, i've been like this for a while however, nothing really changes except my disposition towards everything and the current situation. You wont always feel down like this.
A girlfriend would be nice, but i've learned that spending too much time wanting and thinking about those sorts of things generally just compounds my mental states, so i don't. Not worth it, just let things happen as they do regarding that.
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