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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Meltdowns. 3
#23545755 - 08/15/16 11:46 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I see them as prime opportunities for personal growth. As someone that's had lots and lots of them over the course of my life, I can attest to this. You can't get better without tearing down what you once were, without having first had the problem arisen right in front of your face, allowing you to be aware of the problem, and to know you need to fix something.
What do you guys think about meltdowns?
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Moonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23546005 - 08/16/16 05:01 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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What exactly do you mean by meltdowns?
Like panic attacks, psychotic breaks, temper tantrums, what?
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Connoisseur

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Quote:
Moonshoe said: What exactly do you mean by meltdowns?
Like panic attacks, psychotic breaks, temper tantrums, what?
melt harder brah
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1234go
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 5
#23546256 - 08/16/16 08:17 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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They don't seem to help Bodhi, he just blames alcohol and sweeps it all under the rug.
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shadyy
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23546381 - 08/16/16 09:20 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Waves of depression keep the waters moving...
great for creativity and growth.
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Quote:
Moonshoe said: What exactly do you mean by meltdowns?
Like panic attacks, psychotic breaks, temper tantrums, what?
definitely not the first two, and i don't think the third one you mentioned really exemplifies what i'm talking about. Meltdowns. getting absolutely pissed off at whatever and just losing your shit over it.
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plasma
ɹoʇɐɹǝpoɯ

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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23546605 - 08/16/16 11:18 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think nuclear meltdowns cause a lot of harm to the environment and life in general
Did I do it right
Edited by plasma (08/16/16 11:19 AM)
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Moonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23546608 - 08/16/16 11:20 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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So like a huge outburst of anger? Like a fit of rage?
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SirShroomsAlott
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 3
#23546665 - 08/16/16 11:51 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I agree but it will undoubtedly differ depending on the person experiencing the meltdown. For people like you and me and others, we can blow up and then we can look back on it and realize how ridiculous it was to get that mad or find reasons to grow from the experience and handle it better if that situation presents itself in the future because we're introspective enough to process why we felt that way or even consider why it was stupid in the first place or consider the person on the receiving end of our meltdown and their perspective making you question the way you come off to others and want to change it.
Some people don't consider anyone other then themselves or people who they aren't very close with, someone who isn't introspective or think back about their actions and feelings might just keep blowing up and never learn a thing from it, never finding fault in their own behavior or considering why it might of been overboard to get that mad over something in the first place. They just move on from it and don't consider that there may be a better way to handle it or consider the other person or instead of trying to grow from it just try to find reasons to justify that kind of behavior and why they're right to blow up like that (even though there are times when it can be justified IMO)
I don't really have meltdowns too much anymore, or it would take a lot for me to really get mad and freak out about it, got most of it out of my system growing up when I didn't realize how badly I was handling myself and my actions from day to day, literally fought someone every other day or was getting suspended from school or forced therapy sessions and anyone who did know me from that point in my life (including my parents ) can't believe I am who I am today considering who I always was growing up, no one would of ever thought that I'd become a fairly calm person who is pretty passive on most things anymore and fairly responsible even though I was a very selfish and angry person for the majority of my life who barely considered anyone else's feelings or thoughts other then my own. (thanks you drugs for forcing me to think outside of my own perspective )
But in some sense all the meltdowns I did have led me to be the person I am now and realizing all the mistakes I was making, and while that's extremely far from perfect, it's far better then where it was heading, there's still a lot of regret though especially considering I was a complete asshole up until I turned 18-19 or so but the only thing you can do about that is move on and try not to make the same mistakes. So while I try to avoid meltdowns, they can definitely be beneficial depending on the person
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shadyy
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23546962 - 08/16/16 01:47 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I thought you meant like nervous breakdowns, not fits of rage.
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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404
error


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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: shadyy]
#23546982 - 08/16/16 01:56 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I guess you could lump those in as well, as they can make you aware of something that's not going right somewhere in your life. These are all opportunities for personal growth, not that they will be acted on. There are people that choose not to acknowledge their own faults and continue on like nothing is wrong
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 2
#23547048 - 08/16/16 02:24 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Every meltdown is an opportunity for growth.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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koods
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Plagarist
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: koods]
#23547123 - 08/16/16 02:51 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I suck.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Moonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23552808 - 08/18/16 10:03 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have need been prone to temper or fits of rage / angry outbursts.
The meltdowns I have had are panic attacks , or issues with overusing a drug, and a psychotic break, or the rare relationship meltdown / blow out fight with my wife.
Anger has always been her issue , anxiety and depression and addiction issues being mine.
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Nova

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Just make sure you stay healthy during meltdowns or it can go from bad to life threatening worse. Dehydration will fuck you up. I guess I should specify this relates so psychotic/panic/skitzo meltdowns.
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Moonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23553203 - 08/18/16 12:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sleep is most important , as soon as a psychotic break is developing sleep is the best antidote , as soon and as long as possible. Using sedatives if needed. Psychosis worsens exponentially with sleep deprivation.
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Quote:
SirShroomsAlott said: I agree but it will undoubtedly differ depending on the person experiencing the meltdown. For people like you and me and others, we can blow up and then we can look back on it and realize how ridiculous it was to get that mad or find reasons to grow from the experience and handle it better if that situation presents itself in the future because we're introspective enough to process why we felt that way or even consider why it was stupid in the first place or consider the person on the receiving end of our meltdown and their perspective making you question the way you come off to others and want to change it.
Some people don't consider anyone other then themselves or people who they aren't very close with, someone who isn't introspective or think back about their actions and feelings might just keep blowing up and never learn a thing from it, never finding fault in their own behavior or considering why it might of been overboard to get that mad over something in the first place. They just move on from it and don't consider that there may be a better way to handle it or consider the other person or instead of trying to grow from it just try to find reasons to justify that kind of behavior and why they're right to blow up like that (even though there are times when it can be justified IMO)
I don't really have meltdowns too much anymore, or it would take a lot for me to really get mad and freak out about it, got most of it out of my system growing up when I didn't realize how badly I was handling myself and my actions from day to day, literally fought someone every other day or was getting suspended from school or forced therapy sessions and anyone who did know me from that point in my life (including my parents ) can't believe I am who I am today considering who I always was growing up, no one would of ever thought that I'd become a fairly calm person who is pretty passive on most things anymore and fairly responsible even though I was a very selfish and angry person for the majority of my life who barely considered anyone else's feelings or thoughts other then my own. (thanks you drugs for forcing me to think outside of my own perspective )
But in some sense all the meltdowns I did have led me to be the person I am now and realizing all the mistakes I was making, and while that's extremely far from perfect, it's far better then where it was heading, there's still a lot of regret though especially considering I was a complete asshole up until I turned 18-19 or so but the only thing you can do about that is move on and try not to make the same mistakes. So while I try to avoid meltdowns, they can definitely be beneficial depending on the person
Very well said. I agree, I think they can be opportunities for growth, but often aren't... as SSAL mentioned, some people lack the qualities of introspection and insightfulness that it takes to learn from a melt. But I also think that there's a dangerously blurry line between the sort of meltdown that somebody can learn and grow from, and the sort of meltdown that cripples their emotional and psychological health without offering any opportunity for growth at all. I have really mixed feelings about troll culture for those reasons, I think sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's entertaining, sometimes it's constructive. But it can also be mean, degrading and cruel. People kill themselves over trolling. It's something to bear in mind as a reminder to exercise due caution, lest we turn into bullies.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Moonshoe
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I feel like I still don't really understand what meltdown means to the OP and others .
Is it just like acting outrageously ? Yelling and screaming ?
Throwing stuff ?
I have known some challenged children to have meltdowns pretty regularly, but I can't really remember any adults doing it in my experience.
People have arguments , get angry, but "'meltdown"?
I can't think of anyone I know ever having an episode I would use that word to describe.
Anything can be an opportunity for growth , but I imagine regular meltdowns is more a sign that you NEED personal growth.
Just like getting sick is an opportunity to get healthy, but more a sign you weren't taking care of your health to begin with.
Obviously melt downs, barring extreme circumstances , indicates some kind of problem, be it mental health issues, anger management problems, unhealthy relationships etc .
I think it's safe to say that under normal conditions, a healthy, mature, well adjusted adult would not normally melt down but would find other ways to cope with, express or respond to their feelings and circumstances.
When children have melt downs it's because they haven't yet leaned to control themselves in a mature way.
If an adult is still doing so , especially often or repeatedly, it would seem to suggest either mental health issues or immaturity , or extreme stress and unbearable circumstances.
Assuming I understand what is mean by melt down , which I am still not sure that I do.
I'm not trying to put anyone down by saying that, just to say that from my perspective having melt downs implies you need to change something or work on something . An opportunity for growth absolutely, but it would always be better to start working on those underlying causes before the meltdown.
There is no reason you need to wait for a meltdown to work on yourself and your life, but if you have one it's a clear sign there is a problem to be addressed.
Maybe you hate your job and need a new one, maybe your girlfriend and you have a toxic relationship, maybe you need anger management , regular exercise, therapy or meditation, maybe you drink too much etc etc...
If no problems like this exist, why else would melt downs occur ?
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Everything I post is fiction.
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nooneman


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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23553267 - 08/18/16 12:58 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I just don't feel anger almost ever. It's just a rare emotion for me. Instead I tend to feel annoyed, frustrated, anxious, stressed, depressed, etc. in situations that most people might feel angry.
For example, some guy does something really stupid on the freeway and almost crashes into me. For most people I think that would make them angry. I would mainly get stressed and anxious. If someone yelled a bunch of insults at me, I'd mainly feel anxiety and depression. If someone really tore into me over and over and really tried to melt me on the shroomery, I'd mainly feel depressed.
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Moonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: nooneman] 1
#23553284 - 08/18/16 01:05 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am the same say, both my wife and my previous partner had a real angry streak and had a tendency to fight with family and stuff, and it was a real culture shock because my family never tells or gets mad , and if someone expressed anger towards me I tend to just avoid them, withdraw and cut them out of my life .
Some people feel expressing anger is healthy and normal and ok, but I don't agree . If people can't control their tempers and explode at me, I don't want to be around that person, period .
Some people feel like anger can be an expression of love, but I interpret it as hate.
If you yell at me and are angry at me you must hate me and therefore I don't want anything to do with you.
Fortunately my wife has learned to control her anger better And I have learned to tolerate a little more anger from her, but I won't put that same effort into anyone else.
If you want to be my friend or be on my life, you can't yell at me or blow up on me, period.
If you yell I won't yell back, I'll walk away and block your number.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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404
error


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hate and love are two sides of the same coin, so yeah, i disagree there. you have to care enough to feel pissed.
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1234go
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe] 2
#23553306 - 08/18/16 01:16 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Moonshoe said: If you yell at me and are angry at me you must hate me and therefore I don't want anything to do with you.
Someone yells at you so they hate you?
Parents yell when they're angry..
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404
error


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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 1234go] 3
#23553311 - 08/18/16 01:18 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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he just walked away and blocked his parents' numbers when they yelled at him.
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Moonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 1234go]
#23553315 - 08/18/16 01:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Of course I understand that some anger is legitimate . But there is really no reason someone shouldn't be able to explain how they feel by speaking, not yelling.
And I treat people in my life with kindness and respect. I don't do anything that justifies intense anger or yelling / hostility / rage.
Being screamed at is just too unpleasant for me, and there is no reason for it.
Someone who can't express themselves or communicate without screaming / rage Is simply too stressful to be around.
The vast majority of people in my life have never raged or screamed at me, so I see no reason to associate with the very few people who aren't able to act appropriately towards me.
Life is too short to spend any time having people rage and scream in my face.
No thank you, take some anger management classes and get back to me.
I had a lifelong best friend who suddenly began to show a major rage problem. He exploded at me (melted down?) four seperate times for totally ludicrous / non existent reasons .
He was my oldest, closest friend, so I forgave him three more times than I would anyone else.
But when it happened a fourth time I had to accept he was Too dysfunctional and therefore stressful to keep in my life.
Someone who can't control their temper enough to not scream in your face Might hit you or worse next time.
A person who can't control their anger is unpleasant to be around at best and possibly even dangerous .
I wouldn't tolerate being screamed at by strangers or coworkers, so why would I accept It from family or friends ?
--------------------
Everything I post is fiction.
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Sophistic Radiance
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23553322 - 08/18/16 01:24 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
404 said: he just walked away and blocked his parents' numbers when they yelled at him.
Kids these days
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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1234go
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Quote:
Moonshoe said: But there is really no reason someone shouldn't be able to explain how they feel by speaking, not yelling.
there is no reason for it.
Someone who can't express themselves or communicate without screaming / rage Is simply too stressful to be around.
Life is too short to spend any time having people rage and scream in my face.
I agree.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


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Yelling at kids is different because they do stuff that actually merits it sometimes. I treat other people like an adult and I require they treat me the same way.
Hanging out with someone who subjects me to rage is just not healthy for me or compatible with my happiness.
Being screamed at makes me feel depressed and unhappy and no one has the right to do that to me.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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propensity
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Quote:
SirShroomsAlott said: I agree but it will undoubtedly differ depending on the person experiencing the meltdown. For people like you and me and others, we can blow up and then we can look back on it and realize how ridiculous it was to get that mad or find reasons to grow from the experience and handle it better if that situation presents itself in the future because we're introspective enough to process why we felt that way or even consider why it was stupid in the first place or consider the person on the receiving end of our meltdown and their perspective making you question the way you come off to others and want to change it.
Some people don't consider anyone other then themselves or people who they aren't very close with, someone who isn't introspective or think back about their actions and feelings might just keep blowing up and never learn a thing from it, never finding fault in their own behavior or considering why it might of been overboard to get that mad over something in the first place. They just move on from it and don't consider that there may be a better way to handle it or consider the other person or instead of trying to grow from it just try to find reasons to justify that kind of behavior and why they're right to blow up like that (even though there are times when it can be justified IMO)
I don't really have meltdowns too much anymore, or it would take a lot for me to really get mad and freak out about it, got most of it out of my system growing up when I didn't realize how badly I was handling myself and my actions from day to day, literally fought someone every other day or was getting suspended from school or forced therapy sessions and anyone who did know me from that point in my life (including my parents ) can't believe I am who I am today considering who I always was growing up, no one would of ever thought that I'd become a fairly calm person who is pretty passive on most things anymore and fairly responsible even though I was a very selfish and angry person for the majority of my life who barely considered anyone else's feelings or thoughts other then my own. (thanks you drugs for forcing me to think outside of my own perspective )
But in some sense all the meltdowns I did have led me to be the person I am now and realizing all the mistakes I was making, and while that's extremely far from perfect, it's far better then where it was heading, there's still a lot of regret though especially considering I was a complete asshole up until I turned 18-19 or so but the only thing you can do about that is move on and try not to make the same mistakes. So while I try to avoid meltdowns, they can definitely be beneficial depending on the person
Nice run on sentences, jesus christ.
--------------------
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SirShroomsAlott
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that's what I do
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Repertoire89
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 2
#23553698 - 08/18/16 03:34 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sometimes a nervous breakdown can help
Sometimes you need stability and endurance, not stormy weather
Kind of reminds me of the saying "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" I fail to see how being a paraplegic diabetic with daily seizures makes one stronger. Enough pain can break the mind down beyond recovery, there isn't always a bright side.
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Sophistic Radiance
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-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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shadyy
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I believe it's "that which doesn't kill you, makes you want to die."
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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JacobStorm
psychedelic cartel



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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 1234go]
#23554004 - 08/18/16 04:53 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
1234go said: They don't seem to help Bodhi, he just blames alcohol and sweeps it all under the rug.
LMAO! HAhaha
-------------------- Rogger Rabbits Mushroom growing videos Ethnobotanical garden forum Inocuole tea TEK azur said: If you like 6th grade results, then 6th grade projects are great.
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Moonshoe
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So are we all in agreement that melt down refers specifically to anger management issues / outbursts of rage ?
Unfortunately I have seen that people who have rage outbursts often don't seem to learn or grow from them. Instead they become addicted to the rush and power they feel in the state of rage and become addicted to it, and in the worst cases it almost seems like the more they happen the more rage becomes a reflex and a default way to respond to frustration .
For example I work with a client who flies into an idiot rage whenever the slightest thing doesn't go her way. She melts down almost daily, and unfortunately hasn't shown the slightest sign of growth .
I have also noted that on the rare occasions when I was overcome by anger, it invariably made the bad situation dramatically worse .
For example when I was a juvenile my father said or did something that infuriated me. I happened to be holding a container of mustard at the time. In a flash of anger I threw the mustard down at the ground...
And it exploded and sprayed mustard on every surface of the entire kitchen.
Thus I had to spend the next three hours scrubbing mustard off the walls.
Another classic example is someone gets mad, punches a wall and breaks his hand.
For these reasons anger often seems to me to be one of the most useless, self sabatoging emotions .
It's only useful if you can channel it into workout motivation. But even in fighting it's almost universally agreed that fighters are more likely to lose when they get angry.
Victory comes from skill and strategy , not fury , and anger interferes with tactical thinking .
For these reasons I propose that the best way to facilitate personal growth is not to melt down but to "COOL UP"!
What does cooling up look like ?
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404
error


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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe] 3
#23554093 - 08/18/16 05:18 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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It is curious that you don't know what a meltdown is considering you've had quite a few here on the site, usually in the form of long and tedious essays, threatening to leave the shroomery only to show up a week later with some excuse about how you were in a vacation house or whatever. you've done this in WCA several times from memory, at least once this year
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Hippocampus



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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554106 - 08/18/16 05:23 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post links to shroomery threads with epic meltdowns
I want to watch people behaving badly from a good safe distance
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Repertoire89
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I don't view a meltdown or nervous breakdown to be necessarily orientated around anger.
It could just be pure anxiety, fear, sadness, or what have you.
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Moonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554153 - 08/18/16 05:34 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well I asked you a few times to clarify what you meant, as melt down can mean so many different things.
Now you seem to be referring to what I have heard people call a "melt" which seems to mean when someone gets angry on the shroomery.
To me that's a totally different thing then a melt down.
I mean, Just listen to what you just said- "writing a long tedious essay"
I'm sorry, but when you say "meltdown", writing a long tedious essay Is pretty much the last thing that comes to mind. 
I type extremely quickly and have Long 12 hour shifts to pass, so if writing a long post means a meltdown than almost every post I make qualifies
I never threatened to leave the shroomery in the occasions you are thinking of. I simply didn't post for a few days and other people said I had "rage quit" , but that's silly, you can't say someone rage quit just because they don't post for a few days.
I never said I was leaving the shroomery, and other people speaking for me makes no sense. If you don't log on for a few days I can't say "404 isn't posting because he's on a drug binge" or "404 isn't posting because he's suicidally depressed" or "404 isn't posting because he rage quit "
Unless I know you, it's absurd for me to assume I know why you haven't logged on in a few days . It could be literally anything , or nothing.
On one of those two occasions I really did go to house sit at a mansion, the other time I really did go to the beach.
So now what you are saying is a "meltdown" means writing a long tedious essay, not logging on to the shroomery for a few days, and going to the beach 
Are you melting right now? Are you rage quitting ?
I could say you are, but that wouldn't necessarily make it true.
To me meltdown means blowing up, yelling, screaming , throwing things or falling apart in real life, not writing a long tedious essay while sitting quietly at work or taking a few days break from the shroomery while I'm on vacation with my wife.
In fact to me meltdown has to be an IRL thing. Just writing an angry post hardly qualifies as a meltdown in my mind, and the word "melt" gets thrown around so much it's basically meaningless. Like the word "troll" or "noob" people throw melt around so often and for so many reasons it barely means anything.
There is also a difference between a melt and just not liking someone and telling them so.
Oh look, I made another long tedious post , I guess I must be melting again !
I might not post for a few minutes so feel free to assume I rage quit
--------------------
Everything I post is fiction.
Edited by Moonshoe (08/18/16 05:44 PM)
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AuroraBorealis88
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Quote:
Moonshoe said: Unfortunately I have seen that people who have rage outbursts often don't seem to learn or grow from them.
I don't see how you would learn from the meltdown itself. Maybe the thing that caused it though.
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404
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe] 4
#23554179 - 08/18/16 05:40 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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these are the exact kinds of essays i was talking about.
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Sheekle
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 2
#23554200 - 08/18/16 05:44 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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you threaten to leave WCA all the time moonshoe don't kid yourself
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 3
#23554207 - 08/18/16 05:45 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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AFAIK "meltdown" in the context of this thread refers to a type of self-inflicted public humiliation in the form of an uncontrolled emotional reaction to deliberate provocations by multiple antagonists through social media. It's what trolls hope to get out of trolling. Perhaps not coincidentally, it's also what bullies hope to get out of bullying.
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404
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Nicely put
These are the kinds of instances I had in mind in the OP as you either learn to deal with people and not let things effect you as much, or you don't and you spiral down. They are simply opportunities for self-reflection and personal growth. As some have pointed out, not everyone makes use of them. Some even deny that anything is wrong at all. The concept however, can be broadened to encompass other aspects of life outside of internet forums.
Be it Troll or bully, both are negative forces that aim to strip you of sensitivities that you may not really need or want in dealing with life. Life is life, often hard to deal with, but you can't get better at dealing with it unless you learn to let go of things and feelings that hold you back.
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554255 - 08/18/16 05:58 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I see the wisdom in it; I've had some pretty epic meltdowns on this forum, and I would agree that they were learning opportunities. I'm a much chiller poster around here these days because I learned to keep certain opinions to myself where it doesn't behoove me to express them. As a result, I've been able to get along with the folks around here much better and enjoy my time here a lot more, as well as to keep a more evenhanded perspective about differences of opinion and to forgive those who offend me. Perhaps even learned to express my opinions more effectively and persuasively.
I also went through a ton of grief because of those meltdowns, drank heavily to cope with the feelings they brought out of me, lost sleep, went through a mild depressive episode and a great deal of unnecessary anxiety, and felt compelled to distance myself for a time from a community I love.
I benefit from a strong foundation of stability and emotional support in my life. If I didn't have those benefits, those experiences might have taken a much heavier toll on me.
So I agree that meltdowns can be an opportunity for learning and constructive growth, but I think they also have a dark side where they can also be quite destructive and harmful to people who are vulnerable in terms of their life circumstances and/or individual psychology.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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404
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I can agree there, sure. However, is it not you who decides what to feel about things? You can chose to react self-destructively in response to internet drama, or you can let it slide off your back. this may not apply to other more serious things that threaten your well-being... but drinking because of what someone said about you on a social media platform seems kind of counter-intuitive to one's own well-being
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554277 - 08/18/16 06:05 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Every time it happens, I end up a little more broken, but something carries me along.
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554290 - 08/18/16 06:10 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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The type of emotional reserve you describe is unreliable... nobody sits there and makes a choice between "go into hysterics on my favorite message board and embarrass the shit out of myself while alienating my friends and community" and "let it slide off my back". The point of an uncontrolled emotional reaction is that it is uncontrolled, just as the heat generated by the core of a nuclear reactor is uncontrolled in a literal meltdown scenario. The melter doesn't have a choice in the matter. A sympathetic perspective would argue that it's not even the melter's responsibility to withstand the deliberate sabotage of their emotional coping mechanisms.
Again, I agree that it's an experience with the potential to build strength and character. But what builds strength and character for one person, could very well kill another. In some cases it's like expecting a doddering granny to be able to hold her own in a boxing match against Mike Tyson. Most would consider such a match unconscionable, but those of a cruel and sadistic temperament would relish the spectacle and take bets on what bone will be destroyed first, how long she will survive, and so on.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
Edited by Sophistic Radiance (08/18/16 06:19 PM)
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404
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>>no one chooses to control an uncontrolled reaction
what? ok, so the other day when I had a meltdown at the gas station and pulled out a breaker bar from my back seat instead of letting the driver just go and not going to look for them for further conflict after - that was just all an uncontrolled reaction and I can chalk it up to the other guy's fault?
Your logic is really faulty here. these are two different situations, but the premise is still the same. instead of taking a step back and looking at the situation reasonably with indifference and self-control, we both chose to ignore any self-restraint and escalate the situation. you cannot blame others for your actions.
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 1
#23554322 - 08/18/16 06:20 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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i took a dank soft serve shit that melted down the sides of the bowl.
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nooneman


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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 1
#23554324 - 08/18/16 06:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well, you can't control feeling an emotion. The only thing you can control is what you do after you feel that emotion. Anyone pushed far enough will have an emotional crisis, what people do afterwards is controllable, but feeling the emotions themselves is uncontrollable. I'd love to be able to just flat out control my emotions all the time though. So I think it is both: self restraint when experiencing uncontrollable emotions.
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404
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OMG THEY LET YOU BACK IN THE PUBE?
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nooneman


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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 1
#23554332 - 08/18/16 06:23 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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404
error


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Quote:
nooneman said: Well, you can't control feeling an emotion. The only thing you can control is what you do after you feel that emotion. Anyone pushed far enough will have an emotional crisis, what people do afterwards is controllable, but feeling the emotions themselves is uncontrollable. I'd love to be able to just flat out control my emotions all the time though. So I think it is both: self restraint when experiencing uncontrollable emotions.
I never said otherwise, we are on the same page if you read back both my response and what i was responding to
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554337 - 08/18/16 06:25 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
404 said: OMG THEY LET YOU BACK IN THE PUBE?

Yeah I have no idea, I went to get a link to a thread in here about Acidic_Sloth and it let me through.

I figure it's a fluke but ehehehehehe.
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nooneman


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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554340 - 08/18/16 06:26 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
404 said:
Quote:
nooneman said: Well, you can't control feeling an emotion. The only thing you can control is what you do after you feel that emotion. Anyone pushed far enough will have an emotional crisis, what people do afterwards is controllable, but feeling the emotions themselves is uncontrollable. I'd love to be able to just flat out control my emotions all the time though. So I think it is both: self restraint when experiencing uncontrollable emotions.
I never said otherwise, we are on the same page if you read back both my response and what i was responding to
Oh okay, I probably just got confused sorry
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554341 - 08/18/16 06:26 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's not even remotely analogous to what goes on in a forum meltdown scenario. Did the driver spend days, weeks or months deliberately antagonizing you with the help of his friends? No. He was just some idiot who made some dumb move that set off your anger issues. If you hadn't controlled your violent impulses, an innocent person would have suffered. When emotional restraint fails in the case of a forum melt, the only one who suffers is the one who has been targeted with systematic antagonism over a prolonged period of time.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Quote:
something super extreme said: i took a dank soft serve shit that melted down the sides of the bowl.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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something super extreme
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thas rite
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404
error


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Quote:
Sophistic Radiance said: That's not even remotely analogous to what goes on in a forum meltdown scenario. Did the driver spend days, weeks or months deliberately antagonizing you with the help of his friends? No. He was just some idiot who made some dumb move that set off your anger issues. If you hadn't controlled your violent impulses, an innocent person would have suffered. When emotional restraint fails in the case of a forum melt, the only one who suffers is the one who has been targeted with systematic antagonism over a prolonged period of time.
Logic still fails you. Does it matter if it was just one person? there are millions of idiots on the road, and i deal with several a day, which is kind of like having people antagonize me on the road daily. I deal with tailgaters DAILY. that sort of behavior drives me up the wall, but instead of reacting to it it, i let it go for the most part, or otherwise defuse the danger best i can.
If you had controlled your outbursts, people wouldn't have continued to fuck with you. You both acknowledge the objective of the trolling (to get a rise) and yet refuse to acknowledge it at the same time. You cannot blame others for your actions and reactions. it's all on you.
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554395 - 08/18/16 06:40 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Do you really think that tailgating is the same thing as internet trolling? 
Do those tailgaters know you? Do they wait for you, and you specifically, to get on the freeway so can they line up their friends to pursue you and box you in, just to get a rise out of you?
IMO trolling often bears more of a resemblance to real-life behaviors such as stalking or bullying than to harmless douchiness like tailgating.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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404
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If you cant see the similarities in what i presented to you, or see the need to take responsibility for your actions, I don't know what to tell you. and for the record, yes, i have dealt with local drivers like that - some have tried forcing me off the road when they saw me time after time. several times
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] 1
#23554464 - 08/18/16 07:00 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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She is just pointing out that a meltdown by definition is a loss of control. So you can't control it, because if you could it wouldn't be a meltdown at all. Meltdown means you lost control of yourself, and by definition you can't control a loss on control , not in the moment anyways.
What you are saying meanwhile is that you are still fully responsible for your loss of control and the onus is on you to build your self control and work on your anger management skills so that next time you won't meltdown. You are responsible for your own reactions.
You are both right, and what you are saying is not mutually exclusive .
A melt down is a loss of control. And if it's your meltdown, you are responsible for it.
--------------------
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Actually, I'm trying to make reference to the malice aforethought represented by many acts of trolling and to provide a counterpoint to the thread's implicit notion that trolling is necessarily defensible in terms of moral responsibility.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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404
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such SJW many PC very trigger
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554684 - 08/18/16 07:53 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Is it "PC" to say that stalking and harassment are crimes for which responsibility should fall upon the perpetrator and not the victim?
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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404
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No, you're getting really tedious with this though. Let me know when you can own up and take responsibility for your actions regarding emotional outbursts you failed to control. the emotion is one thing, and i can understand as much, but your actions are another - last time i'm going to spell it out for you.
and actually reading what you said - trolling is one thing, stalking is another. please make the distinction between the two.
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
#23554709 - 08/18/16 07:58 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's my point. The distinction is often not clear.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Moonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Sheekle]
#23555156 - 08/18/16 09:45 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said: you threaten to leave WCA all the time moonshoe don't kid yourself
Not in recent years. The last time I said anything about leaving WCA was when I was on a road trip to BC for my friend's wedding, and that was years ago.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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