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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: nooneman] * 1
    #23553284 - 08/18/16 01:05 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I am the same say, both my wife and my previous partner had a real angry streak and had a tendency to fight with family and stuff, and it was a real culture shock because my family never tells or gets mad , and if someone expressed anger towards me I tend to just avoid them, withdraw and cut them out of my life .

Some people feel expressing anger is healthy and normal and ok, but I don't agree . If people can't control their tempers and explode at me, I don't want to be around that person, period .

Some people feel like anger can be an expression of love, but I interpret it as hate.

If you yell at me and are angry at me you must hate me and therefore I don't want anything to do with you.

Fortunately my wife has learned to control her anger better
And I have learned to tolerate a little more anger from her, but I won't put that same effort into anyone else.

If you want to be my friend or be on my life, you can't yell at me or blow up on me, period.

If you yell I won't yell back, I'll walk away and block your number.


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Everything I post is fiction.


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Invisible404
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23553304 - 08/18/16 01:16 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

hate and love are two sides of the same coin, so yeah, i disagree there. you have to care enough to feel pissed.


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Invisible1234go
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe] * 2
    #23553306 - 08/18/16 01:16 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
If you yell at me and are angry at me you must hate me and therefore I don't want anything to do with you.






Someone yells at you so they hate you?

Parents yell when they're angry.. :shrug:


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Invisible404
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 1234go] * 3
    #23553311 - 08/18/16 01:18 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

he just walked away and blocked his parents' numbers when they yelled at him.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 1234go]
    #23553315 - 08/18/16 01:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Of course I understand that some anger is legitimate . But there is really no reason someone shouldn't be able to explain how they feel by speaking, not yelling.

And I treat people in my life with kindness and respect. I don't do anything that justifies intense anger or yelling / hostility / rage.

Being screamed at is just too unpleasant for me, and there is no reason for it.

Someone who can't express themselves or communicate without screaming / rage
Is simply too stressful to be around.

The vast majority of people in my life have never raged or screamed at me, so I see no reason to associate with the very few people who aren't able to act appropriately towards me.

Life is too short to spend any time having people rage and scream in my face.

No thank you, take some anger management classes and get back to me.

I had a lifelong best friend who suddenly began to show a major rage problem. He exploded at me (melted down?) four seperate times for totally ludicrous / non existent reasons .

He was my oldest, closest friend, so I forgave him three more times than I would anyone else.

But when it happened a fourth time I had to accept he was Too dysfunctional and therefore stressful to keep in my life.

Someone who can't control their temper enough to not scream in your face
Might hit you or worse next time.

A person who can't control their anger is unpleasant to be around at best and possibly even dangerous .

I wouldn't tolerate being screamed at by strangers or coworkers, so why would I accept It from family or friends ?


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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
    #23553322 - 08/18/16 01:24 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

404 said:
he just walked away and blocked his parents' numbers when they yelled at him.




Kids these days :nonono:


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.



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Invisible1234go
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23553327 - 08/18/16 01:26 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
But there is really no reason someone shouldn't be able to explain how they feel by speaking, not yelling.

there is no reason for it.

Someone who can't express themselves or communicate without screaming / rage
Is simply too stressful to be around.

Life is too short to spend any time having people rage and scream in my face.





I agree.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #23553365 - 08/18/16 01:42 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Yelling at kids is different because they do stuff that actually merits it sometimes. I treat other people like an adult and I require they treat me the same way.

Hanging out with someone who subjects me to rage is just not healthy for me or compatible with my happiness.

Being screamed at makes me feel depressed and unhappy and no one has the right to do that to me.


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Everything I post is fiction.


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Offlinepropensity
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: SirShroomsAlott] * 1
    #23553370 - 08/18/16 01:45 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

SirShroomsAlott said:
I agree but it will undoubtedly differ depending on the person experiencing the meltdown. For people like you and me and others, we can blow up and then we can look back on it and realize how ridiculous it was to get that mad or find reasons to grow from the experience and handle it better if that situation presents itself in the future because we're introspective enough to process why we felt that way or even consider why it was stupid in the first place or consider the person on the receiving end of our meltdown and their perspective making you question the way you come off to others and want to change it.

Some people don't consider anyone other then themselves or people who they aren't very close with, someone who isn't introspective or think back about their actions and feelings might just keep blowing up and never learn a thing from it, never finding fault in their own behavior or considering why it might of been overboard to get that mad over something in the first place. They just move on from it and don't consider that there may be a better way to handle it or consider the other person or instead of trying to grow from it just try to find reasons to justify that kind of behavior and why they're right to blow up like that (even though there are times when it can be justified IMO)

I don't really have meltdowns too much anymore, or it would take a lot for me to really get mad and freak out about it, got most of it out of my system growing up when I didn't realize how badly I was handling myself and my actions from day to day, literally fought someone every other day or was getting suspended from school or forced therapy sessions and anyone who did know me from that point in my life (including my parents :lol:) can't believe I am who I am today considering who I always was growing up, no one would of ever thought that I'd become a fairly calm person who is pretty passive on most things anymore and fairly responsible even though I was a very selfish and angry person for the majority of my life who barely considered anyone else's feelings or thoughts other then my own. (thanks you drugs for forcing me to think outside of my own perspective :cheers:)

But in some sense all the meltdowns I did have led me to be the person I am now and realizing all the mistakes I was making, and while that's extremely far from perfect, it's far better then where it was heading, there's still a lot of regret though :lol: especially considering I was a complete asshole up until I turned 18-19 or so but the only thing you can do about that is move on and try not to make the same mistakes. So while I try to avoid meltdowns, they can definitely be beneficial depending on the person




Nice run on sentences, jesus christ.


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InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: propensity]
    #23553619 - 08/18/16 03:04 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

that's what I do :blewmeanie:


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404] * 2
    #23553698 - 08/18/16 03:34 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Sometimes a nervous breakdown can help

Sometimes you need stability and endurance, not stormy weather



Kind of reminds me of the saying "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
I fail to see how being a paraplegic diabetic with daily seizures makes one stronger.
Enough pain can break the mind down beyond recovery, there isn't always a bright side.


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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Repertoire89] * 2
    #23553977 - 08/18/16 04:47 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)



--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.



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Invisibleshadyy
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #23553999 - 08/18/16 04:51 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I believe it's "that which doesn't kill you, makes you want to die."


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InvisibleJacobStorm
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Registered: 07/21/15
Posts: 1,499
Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 1234go]
    #23554004 - 08/18/16 04:53 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

1234go said:
They don't seem to help Bodhi, he just blames alcohol and sweeps it all under the rug.




LMAO! HAhaha:laugh2:


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Repertoire89] * 1
    #23554060 - 08/18/16 05:08 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

So are we all in agreement that melt down refers specifically to anger management issues / outbursts of rage ?

Unfortunately I have seen that people who have rage outbursts often don't seem to learn or grow from them. Instead they become addicted to the rush and power they feel in the state of rage and become addicted to it, and in the worst cases it almost seems like the more they happen the more rage becomes a reflex and a default way to respond to frustration .

For example I work with a client who flies into an idiot rage whenever the slightest thing doesn't go her way. She melts down almost daily, and unfortunately hasn't shown the slightest sign of growth .

I have also noted that on the rare occasions when I was overcome by anger, it invariably made the bad situation dramatically worse .

For example when I was a juvenile my father said or did something that infuriated me. I happened to be holding a container of mustard at the time. In a flash of anger I threw the mustard down at the ground...

And it exploded and sprayed mustard on every surface of the entire kitchen.

Thus I had to spend the next three hours scrubbing mustard off the walls.

Another classic example is someone gets mad, punches a wall and breaks his hand.

For these reasons anger often seems to me to be one of the most useless, self sabatoging emotions .

It's only useful if you can channel it into workout motivation. But even in fighting it's almost universally agreed that fighters are more likely to lose when they get angry.

Victory comes from skill and strategy , not fury , and anger interferes with tactical thinking .

For these reasons I propose that the best way to facilitate personal growth is not to melt down but to "COOL UP"!

What does cooling up look like ?

:levitate:


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Everything I post is fiction.


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Invisible404
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe] * 3
    #23554093 - 08/18/16 05:18 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

It is curious that you don't know what a meltdown is considering you've had quite a few here on the site, usually in the form of long and tedious essays, threatening to leave the shroomery only to show up a week later with some excuse about how you were in a vacation house or whatever. you've done this in WCA several times from memory, at least once this year


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OfflineHippocampus
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
    #23554106 - 08/18/16 05:23 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Post links to shroomery threads with epic meltdowns

I want to watch people behaving badly from a good safe distance


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23554134 - 08/18/16 05:27 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I don't view a meltdown or nervous breakdown to be necessarily orientated around anger.

It could just be pure anxiety, fear, sadness, or what have you.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: 404]
    #23554153 - 08/18/16 05:34 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Well I asked you a few times to clarify what you meant, as melt down can mean so many different things.

Now you seem to be referring to what I have heard people call a "melt" which seems to mean when someone gets angry on the shroomery.

To me that's a totally different thing then a melt down.

I mean, Just listen to what you just said- "writing a long tedious essay"

I'm sorry, but when you say "meltdown", writing a long tedious essay Is pretty much the last thing that comes to mind. :lol:

I type extremely quickly and have Long 12 hour shifts to pass, so if writing a long post means a meltdown than almost every post I make qualifies

I never threatened to leave the shroomery in the occasions you are thinking of. I simply didn't post for a few days and other people said I had "rage quit" , but that's silly, you can't say someone rage quit just because they don't post for a few days.

I never said I was leaving the shroomery, and other people speaking for me makes no sense. If you don't log on for a few days I can't say "404 isn't posting because he's on a drug binge" or "404 isn't posting because he's suicidally depressed" or "404 isn't posting because he rage quit "

Unless I know you, it's absurd for me to assume I know why you haven't logged on in a few days . It could be literally anything , or nothing.

On one of those two occasions I really did go to house sit at a mansion, the other time I really did go to the beach.

So now what you are saying is a "meltdown" means writing a long tedious essay, not logging on to the shroomery for a few days, and going to the beach :lol:

Are you melting right now? Are you rage quitting ?

I could say you are, but that wouldn't necessarily make it true.

To me meltdown means blowing up, yelling, screaming , throwing things or falling apart in real life, not writing a long tedious essay while sitting quietly at work or taking a few days break from the shroomery while I'm on vacation with my wife.

In fact to me meltdown has to be an IRL thing. Just writing an angry post hardly qualifies as a meltdown in my mind, and the word "melt" gets thrown around so much it's basically meaningless. Like the word "troll" or "noob" people throw melt around so often and for so many reasons it barely means anything.

There is also a difference between a melt and just not liking someone and telling them so.

Oh look, I made another long tedious post , I guess I must be melting again !

I might not post for a few minutes so feel free to assume I rage quit

:rofl:


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


Edited by Moonshoe (08/18/16 05:44 PM)


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OfflineAuroraBorealis88
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Re: Meltdowns. [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23554159 - 08/18/16 05:36 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
Unfortunately I have seen that people who have rage outbursts often don't seem to learn or grow from them.




I don't see how you would learn from the meltdown itself. Maybe the thing that caused it though.


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