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OfflineEdgy
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10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. * 1
    #23542636 - 08/15/16 12:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Hello everyone. I haven't been to active on the Shroomery recently but I just had a very life changing experience and I would like to get this story out there.

Let me start with Summer break, I recently turned 18 and went down to California to visit my dad and family as I had not seen him since I was 9 years old. He has always been a really bad alcoholic so my mom, step dad, and siblings and I moved up to Oregon and have lived here for 9 years now. Oregon is a really beautiful place, I love it here. Anyways, my grandpa owns a business down in California so I visited down there for nearly two months and worked in his business and made some money.

When I got back to Oregon I wanted to buy some LSD, so I hit up my friend and we met at a park and he brought 22 tabs of white blotters. He showed them to me and I smelled them and was very positive it was 25i as I've smelled 25i before and it smelled exactly the same. I told him I wouldn't buy it because it was fake acid and I do not do anything bad for my body. He started to freak out because he was selling this to people and he didn't know he was selling fake acid. He even offered me free tabs which I denied which proved to him that it was a very dangerous substance in his head. He ended up taking me back to his place, which we live next to each other so I don't know why we met at the park kinda far from both of us.

At his house he brought out two vials, one vial was the stuff he had dripped onto the white blotters which smelled like freaking poison. I smelled the other vial and it was clear, and didn't smell like anything. This may of not been the smartest move but I decided that it was LSD as it didn't smell like anything and was clear. He dumped the white blotters and the liquid into the trash which I didn't expect him to do but I definitely respected that. Instead of buying 22 white blotters, which I thought he was bringing liquid to begin with but he didn't, so he ended up dropping 24 drops of the LSD into one of my vials. It was $120 as I've bought from him many times and so he usually gives me pretty good deals on it. I've tested his gels I've got from him before and this is was definitely really clean LSD but that's later on.

I tried one drop that weekend. It was such a clean and blissful experience. I knew it was LSD after that. I then waited one week and I wanted to have a high dose experience, I felt I was ready. I know I had some tolerance left also. I may of rushed it, but I was very eager. I had gone to my grandparent's house as I did not want to trip around kids and animals, I also wanted good enough internet to be able to play online games and hang with friends online as I generally prefer to trip by myself and think deeply with my eyes closed but as I am coming down I love to talk to people and get into long deep conversations. I closed my eyes and thought deeply for a while but what went through my head was I want to overcome my social anxiety, so I decided I should talk to someone while I was still tripping hard enough to do something about it.

This trip I had a strange vibe going on, I really put on a no worry kinda impulsive vibe. I ended up talking to one of the biggest A-holes I know on the internet I really opened up to him and he opened up to me. This was a very big mistake. I am going to call this person B. This was already 4 hours into the trip? I think. The visuals were so intense. I could barely see my hand in front of my face. I was in another freaking dimension. XD I could still talk to B though. We became "bros" and started playing some video games together, we played for quite a while. I cannot recall why we stopped playing games but we eventually did. By now this was at least seven hours into my trip. I think I stopped peaking around when I started playing games. It was a shooting game, I was able to aim but not really think about tactics or anything.

Once we had stopped playing games I realized I made a big mistake. Why would I talk to B WHILE I WAS TRIPPING. I EVEN THOUGHT TO MYSELF BEFORE I STARTED TRIPPING I SHOULD NEVER TALK TO B PERSON WHILE TRIPPING. This is when I realized, I had played B like a video game. It FINALLY clicked after all these years, I was an INCREDIBLY condescending A-hole, I just hid it well from myself and others. Now though, I had absorbed part of B, I was incapable of being nice to anyone. Everything I said came out incredibly rude. I had no control over it. This is when I told a very good friend of mine what happened, he was very disappointed in me. I had now make the same mistake twice. It was over. I didn't physically lose control but I started crying and flipping out on people telling them what happened and how I will be an A-hole forever now. The damage was done. It was over. I had ruined my life. Why shouldn't I just kill myself. Being an A-hole had turned into my worst nightmare. I thought about killing myself for a minute or two then realized what I was thinking and quickly changed my thoughts.

I am not sure when I started to become condescending, it might of started with my first time doing LSD, maybe in middle school, maybe in freshman year, I am not really sure. That is where my anxiety stemmed from that I've had for so many years though. My anxiety fueled my lack of confidence in myself which has always made me hate myself. I am thinking that it started in sophomore year when I first tried LSD because I convinced myself and others' that I could predict the future and read people's minds. I used it as a weapon instead of keeping things to myself. What it was was just logical assumptions and me being slightly delusional.

After I finished freaking out I started to think logically. It's kinda hard to explain what went through my head. I thought about my past, and my friends, and it made so much sense that I was condescending. I was now aware of it. I could change myself now. It was too late though, the damage was already done. By this time I started trying to distance myself from my friends as I didn't want them to hate me. I told a couple people basically what happened and I was given some very good advice from this girl who I've always thought was kinda insane. She is a very nice girl, but kinda insane. If you're reading this, thank you for your advice. It really meant a lot to me.

Here is what she told me:

You have to let the other part take the throne
listen
none in this world knows u better than urself
u need to relax
and think
basically think
and take the decision
dont blame people for nothing    (anything)
be smart
think about all the consequences
okay?

Thank you very much for this advice, it may not of been a lot, but it certainly meant a lot.

I really started to think now, I don't really know what I thought, I thought something quite similar before she had said this, but she REALLY finished it off my thought for me. I played some games until about eleven and then finally was able to fall asleep at about noon, still getting quite a bit of open eye visuals.

By the time I woke up, it was like I finished off all my thoughts while I was sleeping, I thought a lot that day and was finally able to be nice to people again. I overcame what B did to me. Later on when B came online, I gave him some advice. He really hates himself and the reason he is a massive A-hole is because he hates himself. I gave him the best advice I could, he didn't listen to me. Someday though I really hope he follows my advice and finally betters himself into being a good person.

To everyone who reads this who talked to me and gave me advice, thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I am linking this thread to some of my good friends and saving this story to remind myself of this night. This night was as important to me as birth, death, retirement and any other huge life changing event that welcomes itself into my life.

After this night, the next day. I felt confidence in myself for the first time in so many years. I had overcome my anxiety. I don't hate myself anymore. This was an amazing experience. I may of regretted it while I was still tripping but I am so happy I did this now. I can finally talk to people normally. I can take advice and recommendations from people like never before also. My condescending self wouldn't let me before, every time someone would try and recommend I try or do something without forcing me to, I would get anxiety and usually not do it. I can't be any happier with myself.

I have one question after this though. I have bettered myself quite a bit with the help of LSD, should I stop doing it now since I've reached a point where I am very content with where I am. Should I continue bettering myself over the years? Should I take it slow and only use LSD when I really would like an extra cognitive push to overcome something? What are your guys' opinions?


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Invisibleimpatientguy
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Registered: 11/26/14
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Edgy]
    #23542673 - 08/15/16 12:45 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

"Should I take it slow and only use LSD when I really would like an extra cognitive push to overcome something? "

:whathesaid:


--------------------
Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177



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Offlineyabbahabba
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Edgy]
    #23542696 - 08/15/16 01:01 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

If you need a push to overcome something look no further than within yourself. There's never a need to do acid. And you're content with yourself now. PERFECT!

Anxiety blows. You're in a good spot. It's not uncommon to hear about people that suffer anxiety for a long time or permanently from tripping.

Good work.

Sincerely,

A person with a severe lack of confidence and an abundance of anxiety.


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OfflineEdgy
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: yabbahabba]
    #23542711 - 08/15/16 01:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I seem to recall someone on Shroomery saying that if you don't like where your last trip lead you to, trip again in a week or two to basically undo what you did. Makes me think of the advice that that girl gave me, let the new you take the throne and push yourself to change. I am not 100% positive, but if your anxiety stems from tripping. I would imagine you could "fix" yourself by tripping again. That is kinda two different things there but they both seem to make sense I think.


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OfflineKinshino
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Edgy]
    #23543053 - 08/15/16 06:47 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Sometimes a bad trip is what you need to find a good outcome. I'm glad you resolved a lot of conflicts you've been having.

To answer your questions, take LSD and psychedelics whenever you feel the need to trip. I would take it slow though, no more massive trips like that for a while. You should definitely better yourself throughout the years.

Wish you luck in the future! :cheers:


--------------------


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OfflineAVShroomer
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Kinshino]
    #23543244 - 08/15/16 09:04 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

such a great story! Glad you got the positive out of your experience!!!


--------------------


'It's not a war on drugs its a war on personal freedom'
>**My Trip Journal**<


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OfflineHanz
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: impatientguy]
    #23543645 - 08/15/16 11:08 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

impatientguy said:
"Should I take it slow and only use LSD when I really would like an extra cognitive push to overcome something? "

:whathesaid:




This is how it works for me. I try not to take it too slowly though :wink:

You say, worst trip of my life. It could have been much worse. This was an important experience, not all of which was pleasant. It's like that sometimes. The bad feelings pass, the lessons stay with you.

Oh, and that trip again in two weeks if you had a bad trip, just to fix it,.. be careful with that. Doesn't work in general, and if you ask me I think it's mostly boy's talk.

Love, H.


--------------------
Small scale alternative parties rich in empathy and extravagance. Happen to know of one in the vicinity of Amsterdam? PM me my dear fellow. I love to meet some other freaks.

Oh and, if you can,.. embrace the nyctomorph. It needs you.


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OfflineEdgy
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: impatientguy]
    #23544309 - 08/15/16 02:44 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks for the amazing responses everyone!

I've decided that I am going to microdose the last of my liquid throughout my last year of high school, I believe fourteen drops should be good enough to last throughout the year. I was thinking 25ug every Monday and Thursday, assuming each drop is around 100ug then it should last ~28 weeks of school.

I am taking a long break from tripping, I don't think I will need to for a while after this.

Quote:

impatientguy said:
"Should I take it slow and only use LSD when I really would like an extra cognitive push to overcome something? "

:whathesaid:




If a problem arises I'm most likely going to trip again. But just tripping to trip isn't the smart way to go about things. Hence why I am gonna microdose it unless a problem arises. I've tripped in the past without really thinking about what I wanted to get from the trip. That wasn't the smartest idea ever. I did think to myself before this trip that I wanted to overcome my social anxiety, but I never thought it would of really happened.


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Invisibleopenmind
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Edgy]
    #23544466 - 08/15/16 03:48 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

....I hit up my friend and we met at a park and he brought 22 tabs of white blotters. He showed them to me and I smelled them and was very positive it was 25i as I've smelled 25i before and it smelled exactly the same. I told him I wouldn't buy it because it was fake acid and I do not do anything bad for my body. He started to freak out because he was selling this to people and he didn't know he was selling fake acid. He even offered me free tabs which I denied which proved to him that it was a very dangerous substance in his head.

At his house he brought out two vials, one vial was the stuff he had dripped onto the white blotters which smelled like freaking poison. I smelled the other vial and it was clear, and didn't smell like anything. This may of not been the smartest move but I decided that it was LSD as it didn't smell like anything and was clear. He dumped the white blotters and the liquid into the trash which I didn't expect him to do but I definitely respected that. 







From the time that NBOME chems became widespread until now, I have never ever heard anything about them having a pronounced smell...Not to mention a smell that's pronounced and distinct enough that a person could merely smell a piece of blotter and instantly know that it's 25i .

If that was the case, it'd be common knowledge for people to just take a little smell of their blotter to determine if it's 25i or not, rather than taking a nibble and seeing if there's a taste....but this just isn't something that people do, smelling blotter, unless I'm out of the loop of things :shrug: .


I know 25i has a distinct taste, but I find the smell part to be hard to believe.


Where did you learn what 25i smells like? Can you describe the smell?


A simple Ehrlich reagent test could have saved that blotter and liquid your friend dumped into the trash...if your friend really had 25i in one vial and L in another, and if he took the stuff, he would have known long before you "smelled it" because one vial would have had a distinct taste and produce distinct differences in the trip/effects compared to the other vial.








-OM


.


--------------------


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OfflineHanz
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: openmind]
    #23544492 - 08/15/16 04:01 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Yes, that smell thing bothered me a little too. You just don't smell nbome vs lsd. I very much doubt the nbome would evaporate in to particles in the air anyway, and even if it did I highly doubt we as humans could pick up on it.

Ehrlich testing would have been the way to go, whether it's about ingesting your supplies or about flushing them.

:heart: H.


--------------------
Small scale alternative parties rich in empathy and extravagance. Happen to know of one in the vicinity of Amsterdam? PM me my dear fellow. I love to meet some other freaks.

Oh and, if you can,.. embrace the nyctomorph. It needs you.


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Offlinemushpunx
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Hanz]
    #23545584 - 08/15/16 10:24 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Youre barely 18? If I were you Id just stick to regular doses untill you are way into your 20s. You will thank yourself


--------------------

Amateur Mycologists United
AMU Q&A


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OfflineEdgy
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: openmind]
    #23545735 - 08/15/16 11:38 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

openmind said:
Quote:

....I hit up my friend and we met at a park and he brought 22 tabs of white blotters. He showed them to me and I smelled them and was very positive it was 25i as I've smelled 25i before and it smelled exactly the same. I told him I wouldn't buy it because it was fake acid and I do not do anything bad for my body. He started to freak out because he was selling this to people and he didn't know he was selling fake acid. He even offered me free tabs which I denied which proved to him that it was a very dangerous substance in his head.

At his house he brought out two vials, one vial was the stuff he had dripped onto the white blotters which smelled like freaking poison. I smelled the other vial and it was clear, and didn't smell like anything. This may of not been the smartest move but I decided that it was LSD as it didn't smell like anything and was clear. He dumped the white blotters and the liquid into the trash which I didn't expect him to do but I definitely respected that. 







From the time that NBOME chems became widespread until now, I have never ever heard anything about them having a pronounced smell...Not to mention a smell that's pronounced and distinct enough that a person could merely smell a piece of blotter and instantly know that it's 25i .

If that was the case, it'd be common knowledge for people to just take a little smell of their blotter to determine if it's 25i or not, rather than taking a nibble and seeing if there's a taste....but this just isn't something that people do, smelling blotter, unless I'm out of the loop of things :shrug: .


I know 25i has a distinct taste, but I find the smell part to be hard to believe.


Where did you learn what 25i smells like? Can you describe the smell?


A simple Ehrlich reagent test could have saved that blotter and liquid your friend dumped into the trash...if your friend really had 25i in one vial and L in another, and if he took the stuff, he would have known long before you "smelled it" because one vial would have had a distinct taste and produce distinct differences in the trip/effects compared to the other vial.








-OM


.




I am probably wrong in that case. Whatever it is, I've had it before, and it smelled exactly like what I had before. Does anyone know of any psychedelics that smell very umm... chemically and kinda like earwax but much more potent. It's a hard smell to describe. Whatever it is, I won't take it every again. Does anyone have any idea what it could of been? It's really speedy and the visuals are speedy also. The best way I can describe it is the visuals hyperventilate. It is also not too intellectual a high so it's not even worth trying at all in my opinion.

Quote:

mushpunx said:
Youre barely 18? If I were you Id just stick to regular doses untill you are way into your 20s. You will thank yourself




Haha, little late for that, don't you think? I think I am pretty much done with psychedelics for a long time except microdosing just to finish it off pretty much. I've tripped 30-35 times since 10th grade and I personally believe that I've used it as intended. I may of tripped without thinking about it enough in the past, but I've grown in my mind. I believe I give LSD the respect it deserves now. A while back I made a topic about preparing for a ten tab trip but never went through with it. This time, even though it may not of been the best trip, I don't regret any of it and I'm super glad I've had the experiences with LSD that I've had. Everyone tells me the same thing, "You're a little young, aren't you?" Sure, I may be young for experimenting with this type of thing, my brain isn't fully developed. However, I've made the most of the psychedelic experience in my opinion. I'm not saying there isn't more to learn, there's always more to learn but I have plenty of time, so I am going to take it slow from now. Now that I've reached a point in my life where I actually like myself, I really see not much of a reason to continue taking LSD unless I "need" to.


Edited by Edgy (08/15/16 11:39 PM)


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InvisibleSleepwalker
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: mushpunx]
    #23545796 - 08/16/16 12:25 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

mushpunx said:
Youre barely 18? If I were you Id just stick to regular doses untill you are way into your 20s. You will thank yourself





Yeah or just take a break entirely for about 5 years.

(yeah right, I wouldn't have followed my own advice at that age either)


Party on as thou wilt, youngster, just don't break yo self.


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OfflineJeff Vader
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Sleepwalker]
    #23546646 - 08/16/16 11:41 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Sleepwalker said:

Party on as thou wilt, youngster, just don't break yo self.




:whathesaid:


--------------------



“With four hundred milligrams of moksha-medicine in their bloodstreams, even beginners
can catch a glimpse of the world as it looks to someone who has been liberated
from his bondage to the ego.”


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OfflineEdgy
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Jeff Vader]
    #23546865 - 08/16/16 01:08 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I've never been into partying or hanging out with people. I guess I like to party in a sense, by myself. :laugh:


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OfflineJesusDaMartian
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Edgy]
    #23549550 - 08/17/16 10:43 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

10 is a lot- Thats awesome that you got something good from this experience. On ten idk if i'd remember what happened. I had 8 once and thought I'd died and was literally a ghost so idk man .  Answer to your Question " Never stop bettering yourself. "


--------------------
"If you smile at me, I will understand
'Cause that is something everybody everywhere does
In the same language"
-Wooden Ships


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OfflineHanz
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Edgy] * 1
    #23553666 - 08/18/16 03:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Edgy said:
Does anyone know of any psychedelics that smell very umm... chemically and kinda like earwax but much more potent. It's a hard smell to describe. Whatever it is, I won't take it every again. Does anyone have any idea what it could of been? It's really speedy and the visuals are speedy also. The best way I can describe it is the visuals hyperventilate. It is also not too intellectual a high so it's not even worth trying at all in my opinion.





The smell is not the active compound itself. The smell comes from the liquid it is dissolved in, or some other addition to it. I'm not 100% sure, but I feel quite confident saying that the active compound does not have enough particles present to produce a strong smell, or if that's wrong, then that the active compound is not one that evaporates so quickly that it produces any kind of strong smell. One way or the other, the smell is not produced by the psychedelic compound.

Please stop thinking that you can identify a substance by its smell. If you continue believing that you risk a false sense of confidence. There are nasty things out there that have absolutely no smell at all.

Instead buy reagents test. Starting with Ehrlich. And then test the stuff that you are now microdosing. Knowing what you have is important. If you don't, you risk making wrong decisions. It's possible you'll decide lsd is not the thing for you when in fact you had some entirely different drug altogether. It happens, you know.

:heart: H.

Edit: of course I'm only speaking of microgram drugs here, like lysergamides or nbomes and the likes. You may learn to recognize the smell of 200mg of mdma, or whatever. Still, it's not something that would give me much confidence in regard to the quality of the drug.


--------------------
Small scale alternative parties rich in empathy and extravagance. Happen to know of one in the vicinity of Amsterdam? PM me my dear fellow. I love to meet some other freaks.

Oh and, if you can,.. embrace the nyctomorph. It needs you.


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Offlinekamykazi3
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: Hanz]
    #23553695 - 08/18/16 03:33 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

do mushrooms next time :laugh:


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: kamykazi3]
    #23554280 - 08/18/16 06:06 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I think there is too much commodity and consumption going on with psychedelic. as if it were a cross between a travel destination or amusement park.

Also there is an unfortunate bleed over from other consumption initiatives which makes people think that more is better.

Psychedelic is always personal first. It is only socially interesting after it is personally fulfilling. and it is only personally fulfilling when all the motivation comes from honest exploration, curiosity and drive. (this is more than a little bit like a sense of adventure, but not one that is related to known destinations, also there are no guarantees.)


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineEdgy
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Re: 10 drops of liquid LSD, worst trip of my life. [Re: redgreenvines]
    #23591963 - 08/29/16 10:43 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

redgreenvines said:
I think there is too much commodity and consumption going on with psychedelic. as if it were a cross between a travel destination or amusement park.

Also there is an unfortunate bleed over from other consumption initiatives which makes people think that more is better.

Psychedelic is always personal first. It is only socially interesting after it is personally fulfilling. and it is only personally fulfilling when all the motivation comes from honest exploration, curiosity and drive. (this is more than a little bit like a sense of adventure, but not one that is related to known destinations, also there are no guarantees.)




I can really relate to that last part. Well said. I think it's why I find tripping by myself better. This was also my first dose of fondling with high doses of any drug except weed. Small doses are the best in my opinion. I might want to do something like this again way in the future but not till I'm in a new section of my life.


Edited by Edgy (08/29/16 10:48 PM)


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