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OfflineAngel_Above
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Male


Registered: 09/25/08
Posts: 5,348
Last seen: 6 months, 23 days
Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses
    #23542005 - 08/14/16 07:41 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I'm sure there are a million of these but here's my own. Feel free to share your own if you wish!

So be me,
20 or so home from summer school
Decide to torrent some porn
Sick of all the free sites, want me some high def
Big booties
Ooh yeah, Massive Asses 3 HD
Have a wank
Wake up a few days later going to work
Text from dad "Son I have to talk to you about something..."
Mind races
Is mom dead? Who died? Are you in the hospital?
Totally forget about the porn I downloaded
"I got an e-mail from  (internet provider) saying you downloaded copyright material called "Massive Asses 3"
OH SHIT this is awkward
tell him yeah
He says he won't tell my mom.
Saad they would inactivate our service if it happened again.



In retrospect, I heard this is a type of entrapment actually created by the company who produces the movie or whatever, as an "official" way of contact would be at least a letter. Either way, I got home and it was ALREADY deleted off my computer. Weird shit. no more hd porn for me.


Anyway just remembered that story it made for a really awkward time for me.

Edited by Angel_Above (08/14/16 07:42 PM)

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Offlineundersativaskies
blue ridgerepresent
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Registered: 05/13/06
Posts: 907
Loc: cville
Last seen: 9 days, 10 minutes
Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: Angel_Above] * 5
    #23542028 - 08/14/16 07:48 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Ha! Some friends and I around the age of 14-15 were trying to print out some blown up pictures of vag. Well the printer was messed up and we still tried to print it like 20 times. Next day my mom fixed the printer and they all printed out.
  I came home from school and they were all taped to my bedroom door. No more computer privileges for this guy.


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The wolves howl, the sheep dwell, and the fool casts his whom.

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Offlinestarfire_xes
I Am 'They'
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Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 21,590
Loc: Dallas with all the assho...
Last seen: 8 months, 2 days
Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: undersativaskies]
    #23542031 - 08/14/16 07:49 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

undersativaskies said:
Ha! Some friends and I around the age of 14-15 were trying to print out some blown up pictures of vag. Well the printer was messed up and we still tried to print it like 20 times. Next day my mom fixed the printer and they all printed out.
  I came home from school and they were all taped to my bedroom door. No more computer privileges for this guy.



:lolsy::highfive:


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:smug: [/url][/url] 
:smirk: IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH    :smirk:

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Offlinemushiefeet
Soggy Sock's Rainy Day's
Male


Registered: 01/18/11
Posts: 558
Loc: Washington State Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 12 days
Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: starfire_xes]
    #23542044 - 08/14/16 07:55 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

starfire_xes said:
Quote:

undersativaskies said:
Ha! Some friends and I around the age of 14-15 were trying to print out some blown up pictures of vag. Well the printer was messed up and we still tried to print it like 20 times. Next day my mom fixed the printer and they all printed out.
  I came home from school and they were all taped to my bedroom door. No more computer privileges for this guy.



:lolsy::highfive:



:fuckinawesome:
Omg that is funny I feel I almost did that but remembered to clear it right as my mom was on the computer.

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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: Angel_Above]
    #23542055 - 08/14/16 07:59 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Nothing too interesting

Maybe, jacking off in the living room and having someone come very close to walking into me, without seeing anything (probably).
Went out to join said person for a smoke right after.

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Offlinemusiclover420
psychonaut
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Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 19,563
Loc: PNW
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Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: Repertoire89]
    #23542080 - 08/14/16 08:09 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

When I was in high school I had a photography class, while in the darkroom one day I accidentally grabbed some girls ass :lol: I was standing with my hands resting on my ass / back legs and slowly walked backwards then all of a sudden felt some resistance and spun around to see some girl. That's all I remember really, it was super dark and only lasted a second which I immediately apologized after so I don't even know if she said anything :stoned:

Here is a good one about being really stoned: Also while in highschool one day I went to see a grateful dead show at a movie theater and ate some really potent edibles I had made. They had hash and oil and sugar leaf and tasted amazing. They were brownie cookies I think, anyways I ate a ton while watching the show and then went home and passed out. My mom forced me to school the next day where I was a zombie, kids thought I was on heroin apparently :uhoh:


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Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky

You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by

I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me

I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free


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Offlineundersativaskies
blue ridgerepresent
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Registered: 05/13/06
Posts: 907
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Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: mushiefeet] * 3
    #23542119 - 08/14/16 08:28 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Alright here's another one. One night my friends and I had a tent sleepover in my backyard. I ended up snagging a pint of wild turkey 101 from my brother in law.(Also about 15) Nighttime comes and I break out the bottle. All my friends pussy out so I ended up drinking the whole bottle. We get bored and go to another friends house. I proceed to get blackout drunk.
    At my friends house I start getting too loud and slam my head into the wall while trying to sit down and knock a picture off the wall. My friends kick me out and as I'm stumbling down his front walk I decide to start peeing while walking. Of course my mom also realized we weren't in the backyard and went looking for us.

Shame. So much shame... As I'm stumbling and peeing at the same time I cross paths with my angry and confused mother and pee on her as she grabbed me up in anger. Took me home and took all the blinds off my Windows and woke up to the worst steamy hangover of my life. It had too be over 100f in my room. Didn't drink for a long time after that.


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The wolves howl, the sheep dwell, and the fool casts his whom.

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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: undersativaskies] * 3
    #23542168 - 08/14/16 08:50 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

When I was 18 I had gotten very drunk one night and my friends brought me home and put me to bed. Well apparently I had to piss really bad so as I'm blacked out , I got up and proceeded to walk into my parents room which is next to the bathroom. I then started to piss right on the end of my parents bed while they are sleeping. It woke my mother up who I guess asked what the fuck I was doing but I was blacked out so I don't remember anything.

I just woke up the next day and the first thing my mom asked me is "Do you even know what the fuck you did last night?" then she told me what happened. Surprisingly my parents weren't even that mad and it's still a very popular story to this day to get some good laughs in.

I've also blacked out and pissed on my friends furnace once. I guess I am a drunk sleep walking pisser lol


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OfflinePartoftheSource
NAUT GUILTY
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Registered: 05/27/15
Posts: 3,023
Loc: MIDWEST
Last seen: 6 years, 26 days
Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #23542599 - 08/14/16 11:54 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

lol ... I know there haven't been many responses yet, but if these are some of your most embarrassing moments... well, you all have lived a sugar-coated life. Feel privileged.


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Shroomery Stickers!

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Offlineergoticmandala
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Registered: 06/03/15
Posts: 1,256
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: PartoftheSource]
    #23542642 - 08/15/16 12:14 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

lol ... I know there haven't been many responses yet, but if these are some of your most embarrassing moments... well, you all have lived a sugar-coated life. Feel privileged.



relativity


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OfflineIslandShroomer
The Other One
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Registered: 07/29/07
Posts: 1,152
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Embarrassing Stories - Massive Asses [Re: ergoticmandala]
    #23542648 - 08/15/16 12:18 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Oh man where to begin!

Just this week got busted by the maids in Vegas while banging my chick. She was more embaraased then me I think, I was like "yo, its vegas, they see people Fuck all the time"

The maid was really nice, asked my naked ass if I wanted some fresh clean towels, I was like well yeah just got done with A bang sess, toss me some freshies!

Pissing myself, Id say all those times were pretty embarassing. 3x

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