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Filterhead462
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 507
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: Eclipse3130]
#23533914 - 08/12/16 08:21 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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For me the ego death on oral DMT felt different to mushrooms. DMT had a very natural feeling, like i was in control of the process, almost like i was being taught how the process works, i wasnt being ripped apart it was more of slowly losing each part until i was nothing On smoked DMT i dont even realise it has happened, its all to quick but im existing in a place where im just a focal point aware of the chaos
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We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion
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OfTheVoid46
Timeless



Registered: 07/10/16
Posts: 148
Loc: USA
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23534023 - 08/12/16 09:10 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
thesupersoap33 said: I think I may have experienced it. The shell self goes away and I'm left with this stranger that I don't even know and I am him. I thought it was terrifying. Don't take shrooms and fall asleep.
It doesn't feel like anything to "me"... That's the point, to have no "me" or "you". If it feels some way to "you" then you have not experienced it. To feel like a stranger or even remotely human shows you're still clinging on to your ego.
"I am him" ...
Let go. Let your soul enter the void and be guided by nothing. Take nothing from it. Do not compare it to yourself because you do not exist.
That might sound like some psycho-babble but regarding "ego loss" (edit: or "ego death"), I feel it to be true.
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Edited by OfTheVoid46 (08/12/16 09:12 AM)
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OfTheVoid46
Timeless



Registered: 07/10/16
Posts: 148
Loc: USA
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: Filterhead462]
#23534031 - 08/12/16 09:14 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Filterhead462 said: For me the ego death on oral DMT felt different to mushrooms. DMT had a very natural feeling, like i was in control of the process, almost like i was being taught how the process works, i wasnt being ripped apart it was more of slowly losing each part until i was nothing On smoked DMT i dont even realise it has happened, its all to quick but im existing in a place where im just a focal point aware of the chaos
Sorry I know this is off-topic but if that's actually your tattoo and not some google pic well, I just wanted to say kudos!
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Filterhead462
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 507
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: OfTheVoid46]
#23534117 - 08/12/16 09:41 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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All mine dude, Thanks brother
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We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion
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jodidonino


Registered: 01/16/15
Posts: 217
Last seen: 16 days, 9 hours
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23534137 - 08/12/16 09:51 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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One of the best description of ego death I've come across and it absolutely nails it in terms of what happens and how I feel about it :
"..total annihilation on all imaginable levels - physical destruction, emotional disaster, intellectual and philosophical defeat, ultimate moral failure, and absolute damnation of transcendental proportions. This experience of ego death seems to entail an instant merciless destruction of all previous reference points in the life of the individual."
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openmind
curious


Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 13,866
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Quote:
AuroraBorealis88 said: To me the coming home feeling I get from mushrooms happens even at times I don't get ego death....
....I've never gotten this coming home feeling on LSD either.
Even when the experience/dosage is far below the point where I'd start to lose the plot of who/what/where and ego, I too get a "feeling" from mushrooms that I'd somewhat describe as coming home, "or coming back to myself"
It's like I'm "coming back" to my truest self, the self I was when I was a kid. I literally feel just like I did as a kid with majority of my mushrooms experiences....And this is not merely "feeling like a kid again", but actually being back to the "self" I was as a child, something I lost touch/connection with probably a bit before puberty....I'm back in the same head space, the same character/demeanor, playfulness, the same feeling/connection I had as a child, but with the wisdom of my age and knowledge from my life experience so far.....I wish I could elaborate on this because it's such an enchanting and magical feeling.
I kinda look at this level as "ego softening" . Gently pulling back the layers & scaffolding of ego & "self" that has been built up around me through my time & experiences of life, shedding those layers and getting down to the core of "I" ...I suppose some would call it soul or spirit.
A full on ego death experience is losing all aspects of my self, when all that's ripped away all that's left is awareness.
And I too have never had such feelings on LSD.....LSD does dissolve "ego"/self for me, but in quite a different way than mushrooms do, it kinda happens in a more subtle way...I can't really conjure up the words to convey what I mean.
-OM
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Filterhead462
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 507
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: openmind]
#23535623 - 08/12/16 05:49 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I tend to agree there is different forms and intensity's of ego loss/death, i think its also based on how "loosened" up you are (terrible word but hear me out" I did 8 ayahuasca ceremonies in 14 days and my 7th ceremony i had a form of ego death It wasnt like hoe it happened on mushrooms where i fully get annihilated but it was the loss of all barriers between the external, loss of all attachment and becoming nothing but awareness and merging with the void, a perfect formless silence This experience was peaceful and felt like returning home/true form (god head) It wasnt ferocious but i put this down to the fact that my ego had been smashed and loosened in the 6 ceremonies before
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We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion
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AuroraBorealis88
Stranger


Registered: 05/06/16
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: openmind]
#23537612 - 08/13/16 11:10 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
openmind said: Even when the experience/dosage is far below the point where I'd start to lose the plot of who/what/where and ego, I too get a "feeling" from mushrooms that I'd somewhat describe as coming home, "or coming back to myself"
It's like I'm "coming back" to my truest self, the self I was when I was a kid. I literally feel just like I did as a kid with majority of my mushrooms experiences....And this is not merely "feeling like a kid again", but actually being back to the "self" I was as a child, something I lost touch/connection with probably a bit before puberty....I'm back in the same head space, the same character/demeanor, playfulness, the same feeling/connection I had as a child, but with the wisdom of my age and knowledge from my life experience so far.....I wish I could elaborate on this because it's such an enchanting and magical feeling.
I kinda look at this level as "ego softening" . Gently pulling back the layers & scaffolding of ego & "self" that has been built up around me through my time & experiences of life, shedding those layers and getting down to the core of "I" ...I suppose some would call it soul or spirit.
A full on ego death experience is losing all aspects of my self, when all that's ripped away all that's left is awareness.
And I too have never had such feelings on LSD.....LSD does dissolve "ego"/self for me, but in quite a different way than mushrooms do, it kinda happens in a more subtle way...I can't really conjure up the words to convey what I mean.
Do you mean that the child-like reversion has to do with ego? Maybe but I think it might be something more emotional or more outside of the concept of losing your sense of self.
The best way I can describe ego loss from LSD compared to ego loss from mushrooms is that LSD sort of just slowly bit by bit dissolves my ego and blows my ego away like sand in the wind grain by grain and then eventually it just drops or plummets.
Mushrooms however even before the point of actual ego death I will feel a legit separation between myself and my ego, I haven't lost my ego at that point but I just stop associating myself with it and stop "pretending" that it's real and it feels more alien. Then eventually when I take higher doses it will have like an extirpating effect on my ego and just rip it out brutally. It also shows me how stupid and infantile all my ideologies are and how fake they are and it almost laughs at the idea that I somehow convinced myself that they were real or that I "know things" when really you just can't.
Edited by AuroraBorealis88 (08/13/16 11:16 AM)
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thesupersoap33
curious george



Registered: 06/28/16
Posts: 338
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: Filterhead462]
#23538210 - 08/13/16 03:01 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Were the ceremonies expensive? I've been reading and researching a lot about it. Is it expensive to brew your own? I'm considering doing that and spending a week in the woods alone with it.
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Filterhead462
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 507
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23539916 - 08/14/16 06:17 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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thesupersoap33 said: Were the ceremonies expensive? I've been reading and researching a lot about it. Is it expensive to brew your own? I'm considering doing that and spending a week in the woods alone with it.
They are not cheap but i didnt pay for a psychedelic experience, i paid for a full shamanic experience in the Amazon jungle, in my opinion it is well worth it
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We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion
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Comfortablynumb1
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/15
Posts: 21
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23539927 - 08/14/16 06:33 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've only had one experience, by accident and with a random smoked rc with very limited knowledge at the time, it was terrifying in the circumstances.
The phsychonaut wiki has this article about the 8 levels of psychedelic geometry which helped me personally understand this experience, it fits perfectly into the level 8a description, especially the entire repeated re-stacking into reality aspect which happened towards the end. This part made the experience very unpleasant as reality seemed completely bizarre, my awareness of this strange other world triggered this entire excruciating puzzle solving process I had to do to get to this "other place".
Maybe it was just me, I can't recall feeling love or peace, during the actual death I had sensations that are ineffable, I can't really explain what it feels like to be a timeless infinite ocean of mechanical energy. Within this energy there is more information than you can humanly process, but somehow every concept is understood and visually represented in unintelligible symbols and geometry. It was as chaotic as it sounds, complete sensory overload. The only feeling of euphoria was when I finally remembered who I was and what had happened, I've never been more grateful for my existence.
Edited by Comfortablynumb1 (08/14/16 07:19 AM)
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Filterhead462
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 507
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Comfortablynumb1 said: Within this energy there is more information than you can humanly process, but somehow every concept is understood and visually represented in unintelligible symbols and geometry. It was as chaotic as it sounds, complete sensory overload.
I know exactly what you are saying here, I've experienced something uncannily similar
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We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion
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Comfortablynumb1
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/15
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Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Ego Death, what does it feel like to you? [Re: Filterhead462]
#23540280 - 08/14/16 09:53 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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How did you feel about it can I ask?
I'm not so sure on the labels, ego death and what not, it was entirely different to an LSD style gradual merging with the universe, which can be very euphoric, but there is still enough of your humanity left to feel love and euphoria.
I've read a lot of trip reports that explain it much better than myself on all sorts of different substances. At the time it appeared to my partner that I was having multiple seizures, I've seen this mentioned too in similar experiences and think that has some implications about ego death.
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AuroraBorealis88
Stranger


Registered: 05/06/16
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Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Comfortablynumb1 said: I'm not so sure on the labels, ego death and what not, it was entirely different to an LSD style gradual merging with the universe, which can be very euphoric, but there is still enough of your humanity left to feel love and euphoria.
I think if someone still has the ability to have thoughts in that moment then they probably haven't reached ego death. LSD always felt like a merging with the physical and non-phsycial universe to me whether there was ego death or not so imo that's just an aspect of LSD. Ego death from mushrooms didn't make me merge with the universe, I was just awareness and that was all.
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divineconspiracy
Noob


Registered: 08/10/16
Posts: 18
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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One time on lsd I became a particle-antiparticle pair in the vacuum of deep space in a cycle of appearing and annihilating itself. I felt my mind disappearing and being reborn and dying in a cycle. I also saw myself as a universe then, with the big bang and big crunch, bouncing from unity to multiplicity over and over. It made me laugh... it was really a beautiful feeling
One time on an intense DMT trip I encountered fatherly and motherly presences and at the end I came through this toroid birth canal then I opened my eyes and saw the amniotic fluid of the universe's womb glittering all over me, a gel that sparkled like diamonds.
Another time on lsd my consciousness "became" (really it always had been) one with ineffable loving energy and permeated all of space and time and to think that I was only this one human was a silly idea. I knew that whatever happened it's ok, because I am more than this. I felt pure peaceful bliss.
The last time I did DMT I lost sight of everything, no visuals, I didn't even remember my name. My mind was totally blank. After that moment I started asking wtf am I. The answer appeared to me: love, but alienated from itself in so many endless, beautiful, and terrible forms...
These are a few ego death experiences I have had. It's probably the best feeling there is. I don't think it's as scary as it's made out to be. Afterward I feel spiritually clean and energetic where once I was burnt out and jaded. That doesn't last forever though, but it lasts a while.
Of course these experiences are really hard to describe, really what I wrote here is the context of ego death not exactly what the experience was like. To find out try a good dose of psychedelics
Edited by divineconspiracy (08/14/16 04:24 PM)
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