|
Anonymous #1
|
|
No she doesnt. All she does is try to work towards a future and be productive ive been slacking smoking weed all day not getting my GED she has been more than patient with me than i deserve. The minor one time cheat is literally the first thing she has actually done wrong in this whole relationship if im being honest.
I used to be really negative and bring her down in if i was dow ln and we got past that i was very suicidal and used that as a tool for manipulation against her but i havent done that in a very long time. I have done much more wrong to her if everything she has ever told me is true and i believe for the most part it is.
I gave her as much time as she needs to think things through and during this time i will just be trying to remind her of what we have.
So far i think i am doing okay i used to tell her bedtime stories every night but stopped which as dumb as it sounds is part of the neglect, she asked me many nights to tell her stories and i would make excuses everytime.
Now i have told her a whole lot of little bedtime stories over the last two nights and in fact she just woke me because the phone call dropped (i talk her to sleep and we stay on the phone at night) SHE called me back and wanted to hear another story to fall asleep to so there really is hope here guys.
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said: Now i have told her a whole lot of little bedtime stories over the last two nights and in fact she just woke me because the phone call dropped (i talk her to sleep and we stay on the phone at night) SHE called me back and wanted to hear another story to fall asleep to so there really is hope here guys.
That's really sweet man. That's the good shit right there; I had similar things with my wife - places where both our inner children could come out and interact - those kind of things are really special, and frequently made me cry tears of joy.
Keep it tight brother, and keep us posted please.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
I teared up with joy when she called me last night we do have this thing where shes always gonna be 7 and im gonna always be 12
I dont want to lose her
|
Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
|
|
Yeah...sounds nice. This could be a wake up call for you to start getting your shit together...starting with a G E D....she probably has family or someone else close that thinks you're a loser because you dropped out of school in her ear.
Remember, she is 18 and is probably enjoying the attention that guys give her...at least some of them. If she doesn't get it out of her system now, she probably will later on. This kind of thing always takes me back to that 70's song..."Hold on loosely, but don't let go" by .38 special.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
I have problems because ive been cheated on by ever gf ive had so i thought i was safe with her but now i have zero hope in finding someone that wont atleast have a crush on someone or what not but the thought of her being with another guy kills me even of we split that thought will kill me.
I have opened our relationship to her to date girls because i can live with that but she hasnt dated one since i told her that. Anyways idk how things are gping they can go either way but if she doesnt get this idea put of her head that she wants to know what its like to date other people i think she will leave me atleast to try dating.
I was her first everything so i understand this but it litterally killing me thinking sheay be with another man.
|
chevy66driver
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/29/10
Posts: 161
Loc: Here and There
Last seen: 5 months, 15 days
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
All i know is i love this girl alot and i want to make things work there are no logical reasons as to why thos cant work.
....if she were thinking straight about thing and logical she would see that there is no reason to end this and we are perfectly fine togetherQuote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Logical reason #1 : women aren't logical. Logical reason #2 : she will not think straight or logical.
You may or may not find this out some day. I feel like I am saying things to a son, just like my dad told me. I was unable to comprehend at the time, but now I see. And I hope you will see, but fear you may not until you are old enough to have a son of your own. I guess there's just something in our dna that makes us blind to the ways of the womens until we are to old to get the super hot ones anymore. And that's why dumb guys get laid so much. Rant over.
--------------------
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Its over i guess i think she believes she can come back any time but i think im done for good.
I just cant be hurt ever again at thos point i can not handle any more i cant even handle this
I wish this never had to end but now that it did i dont think i can ever be woth someone again
Atleast not for any reason of "love"
I am alone and i will die alone
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
|
Jesus man, I cannot express how much wild fucking and amazing relationships I went through in my 20's. It was fucking incredible, as it is for most people, if they're open minded and willing to step out of their comfort zones.
Don't get me wrong, I had my first major breakup at 22 and it messed me up for a year or so - I just partied like fuck constantly to deal with it. I know how you feel man, but it ain't gonna last.
Get out there and enjoy being young, with or without her, cause a dozen years from now you'll be where I am, and I'll tell you one thing; shit get's a LOT more complex...
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
On a deeper level than this being about losing her i just dont have any hope left.
I feel like ive already become completely numb but that could be the beer.
I dont think i can trust anyone with my heart ever again, i can hook up i guess but that will be hard since i cant be fake to get laid i just cant lie like that and i really feel like i still uave thos tiny glimer of hope inside me but ive never felt more alone in my life i have no one to talk to i dont have friends and i cant even get ahold of any family.
I am in a house completely alone.
I have never felt this type of feeling in my life i am afraid in all honesty i have given up on life.
Again this feeling doesnt have everything to do with her amd more just my entire life experience has been extremely unpleasant.
I dont know how much i can take in life anymore.
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
|
Mate, you aint alone. You have friends and a family right here.
Look man, I know what it's like. I've just made it out of a big house that I've spent the last 12 months in, alone and bouncing off the walls in fits of depression and despair deeper than I have ever known after losing my wife. I've had to sever all emotional ties to her to make it through, and this place has really helped me.
I know how it feels man. You'll make it through and be a better person for it if you're prepared to put in the work. Don't be hard on yourself that you need to find solace at the bottom of a bottle from time to time, but try not to let yourself get too far out of control as you'll only make everything worse (please trust me on this, I've done some fucked up shit during my binge laden recovery). I'm only about a month out the other side after a year of solid pain right now.
The most important thing you can do right now is focus on loving yourself, and treating yourself well. Think about how you'd treat your best friend if he were in your shoes and you in his. I know it doesn't seem obvious, but all too often the most important things never do.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Thank you from the deepest part of my heart reading that gave me alot of inspiration.
After talking to her all night tonight after the official split i have had to come to grips with hpw much i cant npt have her in my life and she genuinely does feel the same way. She doesnt want to friend zone me she just feels like she HAS to know what it is like to date other people because she is afraid of not knowing.
At first i wanted her to make a choice and she did do that but i cant go through with severing the ties just yet.
We have set new goals for our relationship and we want to be friends and she is gonna date the guy she began cheating on me with (i dont have to worry about her sleeping with anyone i think for awhile and thats my biggest thing.
I do have unconditional love for this girl and im afraid of how if she knew exactly how deep it went she would take advantage of it so i try to keep her thinking that i really can just disappear from her life.
I will leave her for good if i do get the feeling from her that she does not ever want to go back to what we had again, then i will have to move on but i am willing to wait this out.
Shes grey asexual which means shes really not interested in pursuing sex but trust me if she loves you she just wants to make you happy.
She said that she wanted to end things and once i calmed down from the hit SHE said something about her being abstinent. I can live with her dating others and perhaps kissing others while we are broken up and i would take her back but if she slept with someone i would love her still i honestly believe but i couldnt be happy being with her if she did that and she u derstands that.
Seriously jokeshop you go down as my personal vote for most helpful shroomerite.
Thank you and million times you truly have helped as have the rest of the posters here but you specifically jokeshop
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
|
Look man, as I've said before, the most important part of this equation is YOU.
Do not let her kiss/fuck other dudes and still be there for her, unless you're gonna go down the polyamorous/open relationship pattern. You're just gonna wipe out any sense of her respect for you, AND your own self respect if you let that happen.
What you need to understand though, is how young you both are. How much more you both have to learn about life. Seriously man, I was a boy in a mans body at your age. Next to no emotional, or spiritual maturity. Please please please please please don't sell yourself short. You seem like a lovely dude, and you need to know that about yourself. Explore brother.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
|
|
At times like these in our lives, there are two ways we can go. Either you take this as a direct hit and use it to start bettering yourself with positive things like education and fitness...things like that. Or, you go south and live in the world of resentment, bewilderment and despair....Pittying yourself.
You see, the key to living a content and happy life is being able to turn something negative into a positive....Because, there will be many more.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said: Thank you from the deepest part of my heart reading that gave me alot of inspiration.
You're most welcome brother. Life is hard on all of us. Some won't ever talk about it, and they're the ones that seem to suffer more IME. Please never be afraid to talk any of your shit out with good people who genuinely want to help.
People like that have saved my fucking life..
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Thank you again i honestly never thought i could come to this site and recieve nothing but productive advice from caring people without atleast one troll tha k you shroomery
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Help...
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Update real quick.
I am doing a little better today but i still have hope.
She tells me there still is hope and that this is just because i am her first bf and first deep love and we may be truly in love and meant to be but she needs to see if she is capable of the same feeling with other people.
I am respecting that and i will waot for her while she figures everything out. The way i see it is if she does chose me like ive chose her in past situation i will know what we have is true but if this wasnt as much to her as i thought it was to me then i will have my own answer on what this was.
I really have faith in us and i think we are meant to be if that kind of stuff even exists and as a hopeless romantic i want it to be true so bad it hurts..
I love this girl!
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quick positive update.
I am alright everything is okay. I know what i want and how i truly feel.
I am ready for whatever comes next
|
Sleepwalker
Overshoes

Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said: She tells me there still is hope and that this is just because i am her first bf and first deep love and we may be truly in love and meant to be but she needs to see if she is capable of the same feeling with other people.
I am respecting that and i will waot for her while she figures everything out.
So she is gonna go out and connect with other guys while you sit at home?
This is a time for you to see what else is out there also.
True love is around every corner man, don't tie yourself down to one girl who isn't interested.
Just my two cents from someone who has been through this shit in my early 20s.
|
sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said: I teared up with joy when she called me last night we do have this thing where shes always gonna be 7 and im gonna always be 12
I dont want to lose her
Congratulations you're in an open relationship with someone who's already proven they're incapable of expressing themselves to you and are selfish and careless enough to cheat on you.
You don't want to lose her but you don't realise you don't have her. If you can't find the dignity to stop getting played you're going to find yourself in shits ville when she's 'confused' again and MAKES THE CHOICE to sleep with other people behind your back.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
|
|