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Anonymous #1

Does she have a reason to be upset?
    #23525552 - 08/09/16 05:56 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

So my girlfriend and I decided to cook dinner together instead of going out like we normally do, so we went to the grocery store to grab stuff to prepare. I was paying for everything, despite me being in a serious financial struggle at the moment. On our way back I got a call from a friend who wanted to buy a couple grams off me. I asked her if it was ok to run out and meet my friend real quickly while she started on the food. I gave her the recipes to follow and instructions on how to do certain tasks. When I get back it seems as if she did everything wrong intentionally and the food is being prepared all wrong. So of course im going to be mad at her and point out the mistakes I that I specifically mentioned before I left. When we finally cool down she tells me that her feelings were hurt because of the things I said and that she wanted an apology.

I see no reason she should be upset when I was the one paying for the food and I asked her if she could do the tasks specified. I feel like she doesn't ever listen to me and this kind of behavior is very persistent. It is very frustrating for me and it is causing a lot of issues in our relationship.

Can I get some third party advice?

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InvisibleSleepwalker
Overshoes

Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
Re: Does she have a reason to be upset? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #23525594 - 08/09/16 06:15 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
it seems as if she did everything wrong intentionally and the food is being prepared all wrong





Seems unlikely.  She probably tried her best and then you came home and yelled at her.

Maybe next time just wait until you get home and do it yourself.

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Invisibledemiu5
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Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
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Re: Does she have a reason to be upset? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23525607 - 08/09/16 06:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
So my girlfriend and I decided to cook dinner together instead of going out like we normally do, so we went to the grocery store to grab stuff to prepare. I was paying for everything, despite me being in a serious financial struggle at the moment. On our way back I got a call from a friend who wanted to buy a couple grams off me. I asked her if it was ok to run out and meet my friend real quickly while she started on the food. I gave her the recipes to follow and instructions on how to do certain tasks. When I get back it seems as if she did everything wrong intentionally and the food is being prepared all wrong. So of course im going to be mad at her and point out the mistakes I that I specifically mentioned before I left. When we finally cool down she tells me that her feelings were hurt because of the things I said and that she wanted an apology.

I see no reason she should be upset when I was the one paying for the food and I asked her if she could do the tasks specified. I feel like she doesn't ever listen to me and this kind of behavior is very persistent. It is very frustrating for me and it is causing a lot of issues in our relationship.

Can I get some third party advice?





while assuming this is a troll post, i'll bite:


Quote:

So my girlfriend and I decided to cook dinner together




and then you bail to go sell drugs and are upset at the outcome when she cooks alone. it's very likely she agreed to cook without you because she knew you were going to do what you wanted to do, regardless


do you owe her an apology?  no.  would it be a good idea to apologize for both your comments/attitude towards her/the meal AND the fact that you broke your end of the deal to cook TOGETHER?  yes

however, if you've no desire to keep the relationship healthy or maintained, what's the point in asking this question anyways?


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David

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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Does she have a reason to be upset? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23525640 - 08/09/16 06:28 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

What I think may have happened is that she was super excited to do something different from the norm, like maybe she thought the night was going to be special since you were going to cook together and all? But instead of devoting your attention toward her you had your mind on something else and that made her upset/not feel as special. Her not making the food correctly was her way of getting your attention since you failed to earlier on.

If you expect her to apologize I doubt that will happen. If I were you I would apologize because it sounds like you flew off the handle over food. Say something along the lines of "I am sorry about the other night, I should have had my focus on you/us. Money is tight right now and I was only trying to help pay for the food that we should have been cooking together. That deal could have waited until after dinner or even the next day, but I wasn't thinking at the time. I know all you wanted was to spend time with me and I am sorry for taking that opportunity for granted."


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Does she have a reason to be upset? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 4
    #23527787 - 08/10/16 10:05 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

doesnt matter that you bought the food and she prepared it wrong. Bottom line is you were a dick to her and you shouldn't have been.


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[center

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Anonymous #2

Re: Does she have a reason to be upset? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #23528123 - 08/10/16 12:37 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

You wanted to do something together, you bailed, then came back and whined about it. She was trying to cook for you, or she was trying to get your attention. Either way it sounds like you were unnecessarily rude. It wouldn't have happened in the first place if you had kept your word to do it together, and done the sensible thing letting your friend either wait or pick it up himself. You just wanted to go get high with your buddy while she did the work. You have too high expectations, and honestly some personal issues, if cooking something differently pisses you off so much. Maybe the issue isn't her listening but your lack of understanding and patience. Either way what you're talking about isn't listening, it's obedience, and if she is testing you with this crap then she really loves you because you sound overbearing.

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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Registered: 02/20/12
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Re: Does she have a reason to be upset? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #23528178 - 08/10/16 01:01 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Only one question you gotta ask yourself, op. Is this the hill you want to die on? Many times insisting on being right does more damage than the actual act did.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

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InvisiblePastywhyteMDiscord
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Registered: 09/15/12
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Re: Does she have a reason to be upset? [Re: JohnnieYen] * 1
    #23529870 - 08/10/16 11:13 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JohnnieYen said:
doesnt matter that you bought the food and she prepared it wrong. Bottom line is you were a dick to her and you shouldn't have been.




This

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