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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



Registered: 09/07/15
Posts: 514
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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When a life is over at 19
#23524577 - 08/09/16 10:49 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hey guys ,
I feel humiliated by myself.
I overdid drugs and had many thoughts going on wich led to Psychosis and madness.
Now i am here , nothing really left. A lost sight remembering what i have lost.
I am fucked . I brought everything upon surface.
No more future past now just present and i dont do progress in life , there isnt any going forward anymore.
I think il might be doing euthanasia because i have lost hope within and it wont get better.
I dont want to sound as a pitty doll but it might help having someone wich i can tell to before i do it to my loved ones.
Peace to everyone
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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the present is all there ever really is. the "future" is only the constant occurrence of the present, if you believe time is linear
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



Registered: 09/07/15
Posts: 514
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: When a life is over at 19 [Re: demiu5]
#23524620 - 08/09/16 11:12 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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The thing is i remained stucked on drugs or i think i have but the probability is 90% and i dont see a life worth living.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
Trippedytrip said: The thing is i remained stucked on drugs or i think i have but the probability is 90% and i dont see a life worth living.
that's your [current] perspective, and also your choice to make, no one else's
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



Registered: 09/07/15
Posts: 514
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: When a life is over at 19 [Re: demiu5]
#23524635 - 08/09/16 11:20 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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If i arent a perspective anymore , i cant see goig things in me the external info and nothing has a meaning anymore.
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VedicSoma

Registered: 10/30/14
Posts: 328
Loc: midwest
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Best way to stop feeling sorry for yourself is to start helping other people.
Go do some volunteer work. Anywhere that helps people.
That is my advice.
Good luck.
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Khancious
da Crow



Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 628
Loc: Behind Everything
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Nothing has meaning, therefore everything is meaningful.
Enjoy the here and now my friend. Always do what you want to do, never follow or be lead by anyone or any ideology other than what feels right in your heart.
This life is yours and is meant for you.
When it your time to die, you will remember these experiences and these words and drift off into the space of gratitude for what it all meant and remember why it all began.
-------------------- I am that, which is.
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yeah



Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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You are loved.
--------------------
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
Trippedytrip said: If i arent a perspective anymore , i cant see goig things in me the external info and nothing has a meaning anymore.
there is no inherent meaning. YOU decide what has meaning or not and to what degree.
as long as you are conscious, there is perspective
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



Registered: 09/07/15
Posts: 514
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: When a life is over at 19 [Re: demiu5]
#23524671 - 08/09/16 11:32 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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But i am conscious maybe in my head not in pure awareness.
I feel this neck pain and mye eyes stare at the front. I sure got stucked on MDMA + cannabis from all this months
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
Trippedytrip said: But i am conscious maybe in my head not in pure awareness.
I feel this neck pain and mye eyes stare at the front. I sure got stucked on MDMA + cannabis from all this months
how can awareness be pure? awareness is a filtered process, physically, be it filtered through the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, nerve endings, and filtered mentally through emotion, experience/expectation, desire, and so on
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Over doing drugs is when you forget that man kind is a bit behind and late for the show. There is no overdoing good drugs, only therefore drugs. Sounds like you need some good weed, a good dog and a good woman!
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: When a life is over at 19 [Re: Morel Guy] 1
#23524747 - 08/09/16 12:12 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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The only over at 19 is childhood and childhood should of been dying for some time. The only hard part is finding income to live off of and the rest is just comfort. Do yourself a favor and stay alive and not locked up.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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FreeWorldOrder


Registered: 12/24/13
Posts: 2,002
Loc: Indiana, USA
Last seen: 8 days, 18 hours
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Re: When a life is over at 19 [Re: Morel Guy]
#23524860 - 08/09/16 01:09 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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You are probably suffering from depression. Especially if you were doing X for months. Could be Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, which unfortunately can last for weeks or months. When we use most drugs it fucks with the Serotonin in our brains and our brains become "re-wired" so to speak.
I have personally felt the same emotions you are describing.
Best thing is to stop using, start a healthy diet, maybe some vitamins, and therapy if things get to crazy to deal with.
Sometimes it can help to talk to someone you have no emotional obligations to.
At any rate, hang in there. Things will eventually start to get better.
-------------------- "They who can give up essential liberty, to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin Lets Grow Mushrooms Videos PastyWhyte's Easy Agar TEK Agar's Liquid Inoculant TEK
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Quote:
FreeWorldOrder said: You are probably suffering from depression. Especially if you were doing X for months. Could be Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, which unfortunately can last for weeks or months. When we use most drugs it fucks with the Serotonin in our brains and our brains become "re-wired" so to speak.
I have personally felt the same emotions you are describing.
Best thing is to stop using, start a healthy diet, maybe some vitamins, and therapy if things get to crazy to deal with.
Sometimes it can help to talk to someone you have no emotional obligations to.
At any rate, hang in there. Things will eventually start to get better.
I agree. Seems what gets you by when your down will feel great when you are back up.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Relax. You're ok. You have your entire life still ahead of you. You are so young and can do anything you want. A lot can change in a small amount of time.
Ending it now is just foolish. Why not take a different approach and live with no abandon and reach for the stars? Pursue an ideal and become it. Become whatever you want. You can be anything. I'm not just saying this either. At 19, anything you put your mind to, anything, you can do.
Suffering is grace. You will be thankful for this despair down the line if you just let it pass and quit toiling in it.
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Quote:
Trippedytrip said: Hey guys ,
I feel humiliated by myself.
I overdid drugs and had many thoughts going on wich led to Psychosis and madness.
Now i am here , nothing really left. A lost sight remembering what i have lost.
I am fucked . I brought everything upon surface.
No more future past now just present and i dont do progress in life , there isnt any going forward anymore.
I think il might be doing euthanasia because i have lost hope within and it wont get better.
I dont want to sound as a pitty doll but it might help having someone wich i can tell to before i do it to my loved ones.
Peace to everyone
If only you knew how young you were you would jump around with joy giggling and drooling 
so you say you overdid it on Xtasy and dope? So you have stopped them now?
Have you ever had magic mushrooms?
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
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You'll be fine. You can fuck up everything in your entire life at 19 bar none, and still fix it all by 21.
Most people still consider a 19 year old to be a teenager/child. 19 is nothing. You'll be fine in the long run
Edited by nooneman (08/09/16 03:47 PM)
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: When a life is over at 19 [Re: nooneman] 3
#23525533 - 08/09/16 05:46 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Meaning is self-created but that's what was intended by the Creator or Designer or whatever "put" this all in place.
Which is to say, when your unconscious selves begin to surface into consciousness, the world becomes a place so overwhelmingly meaningful that it is not possible to refuse.
Meaning is a level of psychological and spiritual development. It is something you grow into.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Yeah, pretty much what everyone else has pointed out. You're young, and this isn't by any means permanent, whatever it is you think you're dealing with. Especially drugs man, come on. Drugs are intrinsicly impermanent, even their effects for the most part! I suffer from depression myself, and cringe when people tell me "this will pass" but it's true. It's not worth ending your life over, why not try to improve your situation and see the beauty the life has to offer? Is there really anything you have to lose?
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