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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are
#23521428 - 08/08/16 09:10 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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how do you deal with your shortcomings?
how do you not feel bitter towards your own limitations?
someone was telling me how they believed most people had an internal age when their personal narrative stopped developing and where they were frozen emotionally.. be it 5 or 15 or 25 or 50
what do you think of this?
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23521463 - 08/08/16 09:27 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I feel that some people make the choice to actively not improve themselves and not reach/attain their goals. I was reading some book where the author estimates that only about 5% of people in the first world truly achieve their goals in most areas of life; sexual/romantic, financial, spiritual, fitness, health etc.
If you want something in life, get it. I tell myself that. the truth is, being "settled" or having it all can take up to decades. 1-2 decades of hard work and toil day in and day out. I would say it takes less time to see results. But it takes a while before you can look at yourself in the mirror and say "I am satisfied with who I am". When confronted with something you want in life, I try and decide either a) I want it. and i am going to go for it. Or b) I dont really want it that bad. So imma stop thinking about it
I am a little sleep deprived so my thinking may be foggy. But thats the general idea here
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: topdog82]
#23521839 - 08/08/16 12:04 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think it's a total lie that we must 'earn' fulfilment.
God's paradise is alone true, simply understand this.
Then the "infinite worlds" begin to flow into consciousness from the unconscious.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23521856 - 08/08/16 12:12 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Acceptance of what you are is pretty easy if you choose to be a believer. "Not my but Thy Will o Lord."
Time is an agreed upon mental concept that really doesn't exist. If you wish to be something other than what you are, work to be it.
You can use all the excuses you have to not work to be what you want, but then what you want is really just a wish anyways and not a burning desire.
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23521858 - 08/08/16 12:14 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said: how do you deal with your shortcomings?
how do you not feel bitter towards your own limitations?
The first and most difficult part in this is to know your shortcomings and limitations. That is being really honest with yourself. And then accepting this as the way things are right now. And then initiate change... if you choose to and are able to.
Quote:
quinn said: someone was telling me how they believed most people had an internal age when their personal narrative stopped developing and where they were frozen emotionally.. be it 5 or 15 or 25 or 50
what do you think of this?
I think this is true.
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
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hTx
(:



Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 5,724
Loc: Space-time
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn] 1
#23521899 - 08/08/16 12:32 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said: how do you deal with your shortcomings?
how do you not feel bitter towards your own limitations?
someone was telling me how they believed most people had an internal age when their personal narrative stopped developing and where they were frozen emotionally.. be it 5 or 15 or 25 or 50
what do you think of this?
I don't think any body at any age is frozen emotionally, but perhaps i'm a bit naïve. I do believe people get 'set in their ways' so to speak, and will remain there unless said ways interfere with life in some major way and/ or some major life event occurs forcing the individual to confront or dramatically change 'their ways' .
I believe part of said 'ways' develop in response to our (usually) self-perceived shortcomings and limitations, with the more negative aspects of ourselves a result of 'feeling bitter'.
So, its probably not good to feel bitter about something you can't really help, but if you can help it, quit feeling bitter about it and change it.
this is how I deal. growing up, when it came to my shortcomings and limitations, I refused to accept many of them and worked to change those aspects of myself which could be changed and worked towards accepting those which I could not.
I'm still a work-in-progress, and personally, I feel everyone is.
-------------------- zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes Light up the darkness.
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: hTx] 1
#23521970 - 08/08/16 12:57 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hippocampus



Registered: 04/01/15
Posts: 753
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23522324 - 08/08/16 04:10 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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"frozen emotionally at a certain age" is a bit of a naive, oversimplified way of thinking of it. imo MOST people never take the time in their lives to work through their own "issues". People don't make a conscious effort to work through their hangups as long as they can muddle through their lives without too much trouble. I think it's short sighted because what people don't realize is that if they did work on becoming a better person that that would most likely translate to them getting more of what they want out of life.
In other words more people should move from pathology to personhood.
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yeah



Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23522337 - 08/08/16 04:14 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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just get what you want
--------------------
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23522580 - 08/08/16 05:37 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said: how do you deal with your shortcomings?
how do you not feel bitter towards your own limitations?
someone was telling me how they believed most people had an internal age when their personal narrative stopped developing and where they were frozen emotionally.. be it 5 or 15 or 25 or 50
what do you think of this?
i don't. how could I "deal" with them? If I could, I would have.
Frozen emotionally? I would say probably age 10 after that I gave up in terms of thinking people were worth trying to do anything for. Any spark of free thinking was pretty much crushed out of me at age 7, then 8, then 10, then 11. One good teacher, 5 shitty ones.
Maybe it was going into the hallway fearing a nuclear holocaust, and the teachers lining us up butts to heads that did it. I mean OK kids, this will save you just don't fear that reaper.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn] 1
#23522674 - 08/08/16 06:05 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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reconcile when their backs are turned, pretend everything is hunky dory till then.
--------------------
_ 🧠 _
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: redgreenvines]
#23522687 - 08/08/16 06:08 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: reconcile when their backs are turned, pretend everything is hunky dory till then.
salvia. such a drug. trailer trash heaven it's a real good deal o
better poker playing that will do it.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 31 minutes
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: redgreenvines]
#23522728 - 08/08/16 06:20 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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We are the only creature that believes we have "shortcomings"
Many religions and spiritual practices call this belief "self-hatred"
Our dissatisfaction with life and who we are is the dis ease of humanity.
To believe we should be different than we are is to enter the gates of Hell.
Our ideals of who we think we should be is based on judgement and comparison.
Rejection of what is and a desire for what is not is existential suicide.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#23522734 - 08/08/16 06:23 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (08/08/16 06:28 PM)
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23522893 - 08/08/16 07:24 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Shortcomings = work in progress
As long as that holds true, I know I'm doing what I can...
The ultimate shortcoming would be to accept the things I can change as they are and decide to draw all personal growth to a halt. I'd be a shitty person not to hold myself to or above my own standards.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 31 minutes
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: Into The Woods]
#23522928 - 08/08/16 07:38 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Into The Woods said:
Shortcomings = work in progress
A job that will never end or come to fruition, since you'll never reach your ideals.
You can totally accept who you are and grow and make decisions.
People often think acceptance is to do nothing and just lay around like a passive slug.
We must accept ourselves totally if we truly want to change.
How would it feel to accept yourself for exactly who you are right now?
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: RJ Tubs 202] 1
#23523067 - 08/08/16 08:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I believe we're on the same page
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: Into The Woods]
#23525933 - 08/09/16 08:13 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Into The Woods said: I believe we're on the same page
Tubs is cool, his boss is a dick though. He wishes his boss would quit bossing him and it's not going to happen his boss is a dick.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 31 minutes
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: LunarEclipse]
#23526469 - 08/09/16 10:45 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Tubs is cool, his boss is a dick though. He wishes his boss would quit bossing him and it's not going to happen his boss is a dick.
I'm reconciling the gap between what I wish he was and who he is
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#23526492 - 08/09/16 10:53 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Tubs is cool, his boss is a dick though. He wishes his boss would quit bossing him and it's not going to happen his boss is a dick.
I'm reconciling the gap between what I wish he was and who he is 
As they say in England
"Mind the gap"
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 15 hours, 31 minutes
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: laughingdog]
#23526520 - 08/09/16 11:02 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
laughingdog said:
Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Tubs is cool, his boss is a dick though. He wishes his boss would quit bossing him and it's not going to happen his boss is a dick.
I'm reconciling the gap between what I wish he was and who he is 
As they say in England
"Mind the gap"
I just heard this line on a movie I watched two days ago!
("Notes on a Scandal" with Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett - awesome flick)
I had never heard that phrase before.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23527236 - 08/10/16 05:48 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
quinn said: how do you deal with your shortcomings?
how do you not feel bitter towards your own limitations?
someone was telling me how they believed most people had an internal age when their personal narrative stopped developing and where they were frozen emotionally.. be it 5 or 15 or 25 or 50
what do you think of this?
It is what it is, you are who you are. Even if you have shortcomings, at least you have something because you could be dead. 
The trip is that you're always you.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
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Re: reconciling the gap between what you wish you were and what you are [Re: quinn]
#23527260 - 08/10/16 06:10 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I just keep on working and trying and learning. That's all you can do (other than give up).
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