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Offlinenamelessidea
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Registered: 08/07/16
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Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
The mindfuck of existence?!
    #23518062 - 08/07/16 08:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Hey everyone

Am i the only one, or can others relate... existence is absurd?!

Why am I here? why am I me and not you?

I can't tell if existence seems weird because of the intense drug-induced experiences I've been on, or if existence is naturally weird as f*ck.

I used to smoke cannabis like a chimney, daily, for 3 years more-or-less straight. During that time I fell in love with mushrooms, but also had my mind f*cked by them, and also a really freaky trip on LSD my first time (I hesitate to say BAD TRIP because what is bad after all?). I also stupidly abused mdma in that I took doses ranging from 300mg - 1000mg on several occasions, although I haven't taken it that often. It induced some terrible depression.

I have been clean of all drugs (except occassional alcohol) for 3 months now. I've been questioning reality so much, like wtf is existence? How the f*ck? How am I thinking this?

I'm lucky in that I'm able to take a long break from University and work while I "recover" from my adventures.

Was just wondering if any of you ever feel completely insane, or if I'm just overthinking this? Is my ego trying to understand awareness, when that is impossible?

Sorry if this is a silly question, just feel really lost and isolated.

Cheers!


Edited by namelessidea (08/07/16 11:40 AM)


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Offlinenssurge
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Registered: 02/20/13
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Re: Questioning existence (feel insane after intense experiences) [Re: namelessidea]
    #23518142 - 08/07/16 09:01 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

namelessidea said:
Hey everyone

Am i the only one, or can others relate... existence is absurd?!

Why am I here? why am I me and not you?

I can't tell if existence seems weird because of the intense drug-induced experiences I've been on, or if existence is naturally weird as f*ck.

I used to smoke cannabis like a chimney, daily, for 3 years more-or-less straight. During that time I fell in love with mushrooms, but also had my mind f*cked by them, and also a really freaky trip on LSD my first time (I hesitate to say BAD TRIP because what is bad after all?). I also stupidly abused mdma in that I took doses ranging from 300mg - 1000mg on several occasions, although I haven't taken it that often. It induced some terrible depression.

I have been clean of all drugs (except occassional alcohol) for 3 months now. I've been questioning reality so much, like wtf is existence? How the f*ck? How am I thinking this?

I'm lucky in that I'm able to take a long break from University and work while I "recover" from my adventures.

Was just wondering if any of you ever feel completely insane, or if I'm just overthinking this? Is my ego trying to understand awareness, when that is impossible?

Sorry if this is a silly question, just feel really lost and isolated.

Cheers!




quit drinking, start eating more vegatbales and less shit
start lifting weights


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OfflineHardrock3742
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Registered: 08/01/16
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Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: Questioning existence (feel insane after intense experiences) [Re: namelessidea]
    #23518338 - 08/07/16 10:18 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

After my first bad trip I had the same questions. I felt like I was walking beside myself for about 6 months. Super weird. I was very anxious and depressed. I still have the same questions. The only difference is now I am okay with not knowing the answer :thumbup: Whatever "this" is that we are in, just enjoy it. Spread love and good vibes.

I would recommend listening to some of Alan Watt's talks on youtube.


Edited by Hardrock3742 (08/07/16 10:19 AM)


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Offlinenamelessidea
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Re: Questioning existence (feel insane after intense experiences) [Re: Hardrock3742]
    #23518851 - 08/07/16 12:55 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Hardrock3742 said:
After my first bad trip I had the same questions. I felt like I was walking beside myself for about 6 months. Super weird. I was very anxious and depressed. I still have the same questions. The only difference is now I am okay with not knowing the answer :thumbup: Whatever "this" is that we are in, just enjoy it. Spread love and good vibes.

I would recommend listening to some of Alan Watt's talks on youtube.




Hmmm yeah i am famaliar with Alan Watts, listened to loads of his lectures whilst stoned some months back. Fascinating and enjoyable content.

Do you smoke weed regularly?

I have a feeling that smoking consistently for long periods of time and then discontinuing suddenly may cause the weird perceptions im experiencing. Perhaps im looking too much into it and should focus my attention elsewhere, like in a random hobby.


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OfflineTotemtripper
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Registered: 02/21/16
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Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: Questioning existence (feel insane after intense experiences) [Re: Hardrock3742]
    #23518980 - 08/07/16 01:38 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

During my first LSD trip, i had very similar thoughts, but I wasn't really disturbed or upset by them, just kind of confused. I had been smoking weed, and that completely changes the nature of my trips for the most part. I had had what i believe was ego death, and I totally forgot who i was and was saying shit the whole time to my friends like "who am i?" "What's my goal?" "Why is everything?" And shit like that. Every time that i smoke while i trip i tend to ask myself the "big questions" after leaving my prearranged thought patterns behind. It never really shakes me too hard, and i personally enjoy asking myself these questions, so that i can see what i truly deep down beneath the layers of ego feel about them. I haven't had an experience like this in a while, though, because i never really dose extremely high and haven't smoked while tripping in months.

While those questions may seem scary or confusing, I think that you should just embrace them and see where they lead you. I mean, it's obvious that you're really here in some way or another, so you should just try to enjoy the here-ness to the fullest. No matter what the answers to the questions "why am i me? Why are we here? What's the point?" You are here as you, and need to find the purpose in your life. Find what you love to do, and try to do it as often as you can. Find a way to make the world a better place, and do what you can to help it out. You can do many things to make yourself a part of the good in the universe, regardless of for what reason you came here as you.

Good luck in your journey to find the answers to these questions, but people have been asking them for eons. They're the big questions about life, and it would be pretty disappointing, at least imo, if they were easy to answer and we knew with certainty for what reason everything like that has occurred. That's what makes life so wonderous (there's definitely a better word to describe it, like almost mysterious, but that's the best i could think of atm)

Peace


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OfflineEywa_devotee
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Re: Questioning existence (feel insane after intense experiences) [Re: Totemtripper]
    #23519475 - 08/07/16 04:48 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

This is precisely why the psychedelics are still illegal on an almost world wide level. They can get you to question your placement in the worldly system and question this life itself. It could make you desire to become something else besides a slave. They fear this above all else.

Asking these questions with a fight or flight survival mode mind is ok since they still have you believing you are the body and they can cash in on you, but asking them on psychedelics may make you decide money isn't everything.


--------------------
"Love one another." "To Love is to know me." "Love is the Law, Love under Will." "In Compassion, all sorrows end." Regardless of the Master, the message is the same- Choose love and you shall live, Choose Fear and you shall die. Help bring peace to this Earth: Love one another, and serve others before yourself.


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InvisibleAcideater69
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Registered: 05/24/11
Posts: 127
Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: namelessidea]
    #23522328 - 08/08/16 04:11 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Youre are far from the only one who knows this OP. I think its not unrealistic to say that this is what most people whove gone deep on psychedelics have realized.

I went through the same thing as you OP, and I really think you should read up on Albert Camus and Fredrich Neitzsche. Both of their philosophies taught me that what i realized from halluciongens is a totally rational and normal thing to wonder.

Camus' philosophy (literally called Absurdism), is about the inability of human beings to find any actual meaning in life. Maybe there is meaning, but if there is, we certainly have far too limited of perception to see it. What's important is finding your own meaning OP. Find your passion. Do you love your partner? Are you passionate about art? Are you passionate about your health? Dont forget the way you feel about things is real to you, and thats what counts.

Neitzche teaches us about the limits of human perception and understanding. Its of course natural to wonder "what is reality" when you only have 5 rather unreliable senses to define reality for you. Theres no basis for truly "knowing" anything, its impossible to prove anyhing true or false.

Tldr; Embrace the weird absurdness of existence, find your passion. Just enjoy yourself and stop worrying about all the grand existential questions humans cant possibly precieve the answers to.


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OfflineEclipse3130
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Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: namelessidea]
    #23522927 - 08/08/16 07:38 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I think people just relate "mind fuck" to realizations of truth lol how else would it mind fuck you if it wasn't worth pondering/incorporating and or thinking about? :wink:


--------------------
"In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old
In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser
In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter
As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms
And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply
Different ways in which The
All-That Is
Perceives Itself"


Edited by Eclipse3130 (08/08/16 07:44 PM)


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Offlinenssurge
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Registered: 02/20/13
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Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: namelessidea]
    #23523993 - 08/09/16 04:32 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

The cure to existentialism is pussy
go get some


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InvisibleAcideater69
Male
Registered: 05/24/11
Posts: 127
Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: namelessidea]
    #23524815 - 08/09/16 12:46 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

What? Existentialism doesnt assume anything, in fact its mostly based on the limits of human perception, and how its impossible to really "know" anything.


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InvisibleAcideater69
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Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: Acideater69]
    #23524843 - 08/09/16 01:01 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

jbrowning134 said:
What? Existentialism doesnt assume anything, in fact its mostly based on the limits of human perception, and how its impossible to really "know" anything.




Let me refine my statement. The point of existentialism is that every idea, every philosophy is based on some amount of assumptions. Its inescapable, "knowing" something requires assuming something else


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InvisibleAcideater69
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Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: namelessidea]
    #23524942 - 08/09/16 01:39 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

White Fang said:
It most certainly does assume many things about what we can do or what we know and how things work. Absurdism on the other hand does the opposite; it acknowledges it inability to know anything and thus establishes a paradox much like the yin and the yang. However, existentialism does not do this, it proclaims that it 'knows' certain things for certainty;

for example here is a quote by Sartre "what all existentialists have in common is the fundamental doctrine that existence precedes essence"

That assumption is ridiculous. It is purely belief and faith that keeps it going.


That said I feel that Absurdism is very closely connected to Existentialism. It would appear to be the evolution of Existentialism. With that said, the two are still extremely different in their approach to defining reality and existence.




Isnt absurdism just a sub philosophy of existentialism? Maybe im mixed up


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InvisibleAcideater69
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Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: namelessidea]
    #23524951 - 08/09/16 01:43 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

White Fang said:
It most certainly does assume many things about what we can do or what we know and how things work. Absurdism on the other hand does the opposite; it acknowledges it inability to know anything and thus establishes a paradox much like the yin and the yang. However, existentialism does not do this, it proclaims that it 'knows' certain things for certainty;

for example here is a quote by Sartre "what all existentialists have in common is the fundamental doctrine that existence precedes essence"

That assumption is ridiculous. It is purely belief and faith that keeps it going.


That said I feel that Absurdism is very closely connected to Existentialism. It would appear to be the evolution of Existentialism. With that said, the two are still extremely different in their approach to defining reality and existence.




And doesnt neitzsches perspectivism also state that its impossible to really know anything?


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Invisiblenooneman
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Loc: Utah
Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: namelessidea]
    #23524987 - 08/09/16 02:03 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

namelessidea said:
Why am I here? why am I me and not you?




Welcome to The Hard Problem of Consciousness. Enjoy your stay :sunny:


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OfflineApexNightmare
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Re: The mindfuck of existence?! [Re: namelessidea]
    #23525369 - 08/09/16 04:27 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I have very similar thoughts to you all of the time. I have to tell myself that life is just a game that we only get to enjoy for so long, and the goal is to make it as long as you can and make it the best you can.

Psychedelics, along with my own curioisity, have made me read up on physics, quantum physics, astrophysics, mathematics, etc. I've gained much knowledge but it only begs more questions at the end :p I just pray I get all of the answers when life ends. I really hope there is more than just this, don't you?

Life is mind blowing as fuck. How does matter think? How and why does life exist? Is life simply an inevitability due to the laws of our universe? So many questions.


--------------------
Psychedelics experienced:
LSD, Mushrooms, LSA, THC, Salvia Divinorum, DMT



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OfflineHardrock3742
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Registered: 08/01/16
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Re: Questioning existence (feel insane after intense experiences) [Re: namelessidea]
    #23525494 - 08/09/16 05:27 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

namelessidea said:
Quote:

Hardrock3742 said:
After my first bad trip I had the same questions. I felt like I was walking beside myself for about 6 months. Super weird. I was very anxious and depressed. I still have the same questions. The only difference is now I am okay with not knowing the answer :thumbup: Whatever "this" is that we are in, just enjoy it. Spread love and good vibes.

I would recommend listening to some of Alan Watt's talks on youtube.




Hmmm yeah i am famaliar with Alan Watts, listened to loads of his lectures whilst stoned some months back. Fascinating and enjoyable content.

Do you smoke weed regularly?

I have a feeling that smoking consistently for long periods of time and then discontinuing suddenly may cause the weird perceptions im experiencing. Perhaps im looking too much into it and should focus my attention elsewhere, like in a random hobby.




I do not smoke weed. I get random drug tested at my company :frown:


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