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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Passive Suicide 1
#23517515 - 08/07/16 12:28 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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My ulcerative colitis from several years ago has returned, and with it, a much higher risk of colorectal cancer.
The point of this post, is that I don't really care anymore. This last year has been excruciatingly painful emotionally. So much so that I literally wanted out, but could not do that to my family.
When the symptoms returned, I was like "Good! Maybe I can finally find some relief." Now no one really wants to die a slow, painful death, but I just want the deep ache to stop.
Am I a coward to not want any medical treatment? To just let things take their "natural" course and be done with it?
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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I don't know.
I like the idea of fighting for every last breath. I have a hard time letting go of the people I love. Any force that wants to strip me away from them I will fight, but I do know death is inevitable. When it comes for me it better have a good reason.
I wouldn't say it's cowardly to not fight for your life, but it's not certainly not heroic or courageous.
The kid in this video has no arms and no legs. Nobody gives him a break and he has to do everything like a person who has arms and legs. Think you have a rough life? He's got courage. Where's yours? You still have a family? Perhaps you should pull some strength from them. You're never alone and strength and courage do not need to come from just yourself.
-------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."
Edited by LRG (08/07/16 12:43 AM)
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Khancious
da Crow



Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 628
Loc: Behind Everything
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Keep the faith and it will all work out
On the real, I would do the same by avoiding medical facilitation yet I would utilize the medicines from the soil.
High doses of turmeric and black pepper daily for starters for inflammation and cetain properties that may be slow or kill cancer cells, perhaps kratom for the pain relief and an emotional uplift although there are no studies how this effects the G.I. and bowel tract. Plenty of cheap alternatives with enough research and proper sources.
-------------------- I am that, which is.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG] 1
#23517539 - 08/07/16 12:46 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am not disregarding your thoughts and I know my post reeks of self-pity, but I did a recent thread on the idea of others being worse off as a remedy to pain.
If someone kicked you hard in the nuts would you suddenly feel better knowing that somewhere in the world a man lost a testicle?
If your lover suddenly died in a car accident, would you feel better knowing that someone lost an entire family in a disaster?
I doubt that such knowledge would have the slightest impact.
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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OrgoneConclusion said: I am not disregarding your thoughts and I know my post reeks of self-pity, but I did a recent thread on the idea of others being worse off as a remedy to pain.
If someone kicked you hard in the nuts would you suddenly feel better knowing that somewhere in the world a man lost a testicle?
If your lover suddenly died in a car accident, would you feel better knowing that someone lost an entire family in a disaster?
I doubt that such knowledge would have the slightest impact.
Hey man I agree completely. Words like that fall on deaf ears to those in true pain, but it is nice to know there are worse predicaments you could be in right now.
I don't look at as a way of saying "Oh so and so lost his parents and I only lost my leg." That kind of stuff just leaves you open for more despair.
I know a guy who was a NYC firefighter, FBI agent, one of the best men I'll ever know. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, lung cancer, liver cancer, and leukemia. To top it off one of his sons turned into a rapist and the other a lifelong criminal. I talked to him about his life away from his wife and he told me all he wants is to tell his son's he's sorry for not being there for them more and that he loves them. This man is literally knocking on death's door, and all he cares about are his two piece of shit sons. As I am sitting next to him, practically a son having known him my whole life, he tells me this.
If you wish to die fine. Just make sure you're not alone. Nobody should die alone.
-------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."
Edited by LRG (08/07/16 01:01 AM)
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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If there's one lesson I learned the hard way:
You never ever talk about suicide. To no one. You either do it or you don't but don't expect anybody to understand. People can't handle it. Period. You will loose your friends if you do.
They will only try to convince you not to do it anyways. What the hell do they know about your life?
my 2ct
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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I joined Suicide Club. Then one day I went to the monthly meeting and no one was there!
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Spiritwithin said: If there's one lesson I learned the hard way:
You never ever talk about suicide. To no one. You either do it or you don't but don't expect anybody to understand. People can't handle it. Period. You will loose your friends if you do.
They will only try to convince you not to do it anyways. What the hell do they know about your life?
my 2ct
They know your life is important to theirs. You outta know your life is important to other people. Suicide is incredibly selfish.
I've contemplated it a few times, attempted once... anytime it ever comes back around I laugh it off and say not yet.
-------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
#23517611 - 08/07/16 01:33 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LRG said: Suicide is incredibly selfish.
I disagree. Saying that is just a way to make the poor candidate for suicide feel guilty. On top of everything else.
It's only selfish if others totally rely on you for their own existence and/or happiness. Which is always wrong anyways, except for children. And if you have people around you who truly love you for what and who you are... you wouldn't think about suicide anyways.
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
Edited by Spiritwithin (08/07/16 01:41 AM)
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2get2her
Stranger
Registered: 08/07/16
Posts: 1
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Way 2 go, you are basically asking whether YOUR LIFE is worth fighting for. You matter, life doesn't promise a free pass from pain. But it does guarantee you will never have to face life alone and you possess untapped strength within to overcome any obstacle life may present.
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
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I wouldn't call it cowardly... Perhaps in need of new angles of perspective (and I mean no disrespect, allow me to elaborate). I can only speak from my own experience, but perhaps my analysis could be applied in some way to others experiencing what might be a similar frame of mind.
During periods when I'm particularly down, my broader perspective narrows, and I have difficulty looking at life in all it's dimensions. Almost everything makes me miserable, and being deprived of pleasure makes that misery, or emptiness, the only thing in focus, which cycles into everything in focus (being profound emptiness and misery) making me miserable. Makes sense, right?
The brain follows patterns it recognizes. Take this thought experiment for an example, Look around the room you're in for everything the colour blue, then close your eyes and try to recall everything in the room that's the colour red.
When you feel shitty, your brain has a much easier time recognizing all the shitty.
So how to break the cycle, I think about all the shitty things, and what I do want out of life. I don't have those things yet, now I feel shittier. What would life be like if I did have those things? Probably better. I can't bring myself to kill myself because it would tear my family apart so if I'm not going to stop existing any time soon, I'd might as well act towards shaping my life into that remnant vision where things are the opposite of the things that make me miserable. Now I have a new angle of perspective too. Things don't have to suck. They might do now, but they won't necessarily always.
So what would your life be like, if you didn't have your reasons for not giving a damn? If you'd absolved the causes of the deep ache?
Do you want to move towards that?
Sometimes when we're set in our ways, when we've conditioned ourselves to think a certain way, it can be nigh impossible to turn and look at things in another way on our own. Even what might become seemingly obvious can have been obscured, and peripheral, or out of sight all together.
What would the you that had the perfect advice tell the you that needed it?
Also seeing as you're alive, you'd might as well do what you can to enjoy yourself.
I don't know if this is helpful, but I hope I spun some kind of brain-wheel and got something moving. I need my own wheels spinning now and again, too.
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viktor
psychotechnician



Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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If you're going to do it, do it. Don't go the Icelander route and stink up the forum with your misery, though.
I can tell you that death is the greatest thing that can ever happen to a consciousness, because suffering is of the body/mind and the real you is liberated from this in death. Upon liberation from this vehicle of suffering, your true self returns to a state of utter bliss.
There are many here on this drugs forum who have learned the same thing from psychedelics. Listen to them and your fear will go away.
If you don't believe me then you choose to suffer, and if so I have no sympathy for you!
Happy travels!
-------------------- "They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: viktor]
#23517721 - 08/07/16 03:26 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
viktor said: I can tell you that death is the greatest thing that can ever happen to a consciousness, because suffering is of the body/mind and the real you is liberated from this in death. Upon liberation from this vehicle of suffering, your true self returns to a state of utter bliss.
Happy travels!
I'm sorry but, what a load of crap!
Death isn't anything. It's just the end. No bliss, no liberation, no return to anything. And then there is nothing. And you will not be there to experience it.
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
Edited by Spiritwithin (08/07/16 03:28 AM)
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: viktor]
#23517800 - 08/07/16 04:21 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Death is bliss, huh? Tell us, o wise one, how did you come to this conclusion? How did you come to any definitive conclusion? Arguably death could simply be no state of anything. How can something exist to be in a state of bliss if something no longer exists because nothing can't exist. How does your statement hold any more credibility than mine? (or anyone elses)
+1+-1=0?
Perhaps nobody truly knows but any assumption above a logical zero sum answer sounds increasingly far fetched.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
#23517960 - 08/07/16 06:44 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LRG said: Hey man I agree completely. Words like that fall on deaf ears to those in true pain, but it is nice to know there are worse predicaments you could be in right now.
I don't look at as a way of saying "Oh so and so lost his parents and I only lost my leg." That kind of stuff just leaves you open for more despair.
I know a guy who was a NYC firefighter, FBI agent, one of the best men I'll ever know. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, lung cancer, liver cancer, and leukemia. To top it off one of his sons turned into a rapist and the other a lifelong criminal. I talked to him about his life away from his wife and he told me all he wants is to tell his son's he's sorry for not being there for them more and that he loves them. This man is literally knocking on death's door, and all he cares about are his two piece of shit sons. As I am sitting next to him, practically a son having known him my whole life, he tells me this.
If you wish to die fine. Just make sure you're not alone. Nobody should die alone.
i really hate to do this but..
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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im sorry to hear that OC

in terms of emotional pain, is that mostly to do with that woman or having to live with the ulcer or something else?
i dont think it is cowardly but is a shame you feel so beat.. the way i see it is what have you got to lose?
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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fight back against this drole scenario in which
chronic colitis is cured while a
brilliant love story fares up but
quickly goes nova and fades
leaving a bleak black moodiness in it's wake
chronic colitis returns
dark mood visits suicidal regions
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
the mental emotional physical yoke needs to be yanked in another direction but a detached view is a great beginning to restore the gut of a man of guts.
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_ 🧠 _
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PaulyAnna



Registered: 09/01/15
Posts: 200
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Get a copy of Lessons from the Dying, by Rodney Smith.
You wouldn't be a coward. It's believed that death is the hardest of all knocks.
Those being face with the certainty of death, it touches them in certainty. How each individual processes and responds to it is unique to them. Be yourself and do what you feel is best.
-------------------- Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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i run a fairly high risk of cancer and have given this a lot of thought. i've seen numerous people have various organs removed, go through chemo (or other heavily intrusive "therapies"), and then rehab. it seems like a horrible, horrible process, many of them ending up in lasting pain almost as intense as what they initially dealt with before treatment.
my own stance, for my life, is that i *might* be willing to undergo organ(s) removal, but no way in hell would i ever go through chemotherapy or similar. i would certainly try CBD/CBN therapy, if possible.
if/when the pain became too great, suicide is certainly the option. most likely opiates/opioids
at some point, your family will have to accept/live with your lack of being. why not make it on your own terms, sparing them the suffering of witnessing you suffer
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Spiritwithin said:
Quote:
LRG said: Suicide is incredibly selfish.
I disagree. Saying that is just a way to make the poor candidate for suicide feel guilty. On top of everything else.
It's only selfish if others totally rely on you for their own existence and/or happiness. Which is always wrong anyways, except for children. And if you have people around you who truly love you for what and who you are... you wouldn't think about suicide anyways.
Good they should feel guilty. Then they should face that guilt and apologize to everyone they love for thinking about it. Suicide is the ultimate form of weakness. When it rains it pours, and the real question is what will you do when that storm approaches. Free will is the reason we are here.
It's not always as simple as needing people who truly love you. You need to learn to love yourself. Obvious, but true. A harder task than finding someone to love you, imo.
-------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."
Edited by LRG (08/07/16 10:57 AM)
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
#23518457 - 08/07/16 10:59 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LRG said:
Quote:
Spiritwithin said:
Quote:
LRG said: Suicide is incredibly selfish.
I disagree. Saying that is just a way to make the poor candidate for suicide feel guilty. On top of everything else.
It's only selfish if others totally rely on you for their own existence and/or happiness. Which is always wrong anyways, except for children. And if you have people around you who truly love you for what and who you are... you wouldn't think about suicide anyways.
Good they should feel guilty. Then they should face that guilt and apologize to everyone they love for thinking about it. Suicide is the ultimate form of weakness. When it rains it pours, and the real question is what will you do when that storm approaches. Free will is the reason we are here.
It's not always as simple as needing people who truly love you. You need to learn to love yourself. Obvious, but true. A harder task than finding someone to love you, imo.
nonsense. one's life is one's own life, and they have every right to choose to end their life. it is selfish of others to demand someone not end their life FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT, often emotional.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: demiu5]
#23518502 - 08/07/16 11:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
demiu5 said: nonsense. one's life is one's own life, and they have every right to choose to end their life. it is selfish of others to demand someone not end their life FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT, often emotional.
Quite right. As someone whose attempted suicide I've had the exact same thoughts. Actually, laid in a hospital bed on the edge of death. Not "oh I wrote a suicide note and left it out as a cry for help." No I actually attempted suicide.
Sometimes you just have that epiphany that changes you. Mine came to me in a dream.
-------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."
Edited by LRG (08/07/16 11:12 AM)
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
#23518505 - 08/07/16 11:12 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LRG said: Free will is the reason we are here.
Exactly. And the reason we might choose not to be here. And, grow up.
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Spiritwithin said:
Quote:
LRG said: Free will is the reason we are here.
Exactly. And the reason we might choose not to be here. And, grow up.
Don't tell me to grow up, and don't talk about something like you've experienced it. Your opinion would change if you sliced your wrists and saw nothingness.
-------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
#23518548 - 08/07/16 11:25 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Whoever makes the biggest mess wins the fancy coffin.
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
#23518553 - 08/07/16 11:28 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LRG said: Don't tell me to grow up, and don't talk about something like you've experienced it. Your opinion would change if you sliced your wrists and saw nothingness.
I've experienced more than I care to discuss here. I acknowledge your own experiences. But you argue like a heavy ex-smoker, who suddenly condemns everybody else who still smokes. That's not ok. Everybody has to come to his own conclusions by his own experiences. Like you did. It's not your place to instill guilt (i.e. make the problem worse) in others.
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said:
Am I a coward to not want any medical treatment? To just let things take their "natural" course and be done with it?
nope, not at all. My personal belief is if you're not having fun anymore no one should make you (or feel you have to) stay here. That in my mind is more selfish to make a person live miserably just so you dont have to miss them.
Anyway whether mental or physical the bottom line is still pain.. The only difference is a natural death some organ or physical part of your body stops functioning properly. The other kind is mental (suicide), to me it is the same thing. A physical organ (brain) isn't functioning properly.
I understand wanting to kill yourself or let death take its course naturally. In your position I would likely do the same. But I encourage you to stay. Life and conscious awareness is a gift. It is better to experience pain in some form than it is to experience absolutley nothing ever again.
Also I encourage you to find and accept Jesus before you go if you have not already.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
#23518580 - 08/07/16 11:34 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LRG said:
Quote:
demiu5 said: nonsense. one's life is one's own life, and they have every right to choose to end their life. it is selfish of others to demand someone not end their life FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT, often emotional.
Quite right. As someone whose attempted suicide I've had the exact same thoughts. Actually, laid in a hospital bed on the edge of death. Not "oh I wrote a suicide note and left it out as a cry for help." No I actually attempted suicide.
Sometimes you just have that epiphany that changes you. Mine came to me in a dream.
did you forget it in another dream?

but seriously, your epiphany is relevant to you, and only you, unless someone else chooses to adopt it and make it relevant to them.
the key word in your statement is attempted. you didn't succeed. that's the catch about people who commit suicide. if you do it, you're no longer able to comment on it.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Spiritwithin said:
Quote:
LRG said: Don't tell me to grow up, and don't talk about something like you've experienced it. Your opinion would change if you sliced your wrists and saw nothingness.
I've experienced more than I care to discuss here. I acknowledge your own experiences. But you argue like a heavy ex-smoker, who suddenly condemns everybody else who still smokes. That's not ok. Everybody has to come to his own conclusions by his own experiences. Like you did. It's not your place to instill guilt (i.e. make the problem worse) in others.
Perhaps, but I believe in helping people man. I see someone in pain and I cannot help but give them some form of advice I've learned from myself or others. I've had that guilt put on me on top of everything I was going through and it helped me. It was my guilty conscious not someone else's that helped me.
-------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG] 1
#23518633 - 08/07/16 11:45 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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if you truly want to help other people you do it with support and encouragement, rather than beating and tearing them down. Guilt and shame are damaging and unconstructive, not only that but it pushes them to continue the self destructive patters.
the gift of communication and language comes with an obligation to use it wisely and truthfully, not just to communicate ideas and thoughts but to serve and better the lives of others as well as ourselves.
what can take 10 seconds to say can still affect a person after 10 years. So choose words carefully.
lol im not directing that at you trying to tear you down or anything, its to everybody. I dont like people who have that "holier than thou" attitude. It makes me laugh inside kinda.
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Quote:
sprinkles said: if you truly want to help other people you do it with support and encouragement, rather than beating and tearing them down. Guilt and shame are damaging and unconstructive, not only that but it pushes them to continue the self destructive patters.
the gift of communication and language comes with an obligation to use it wisely and truthfully, not just to communicate ideas and thoughts but to serve and better the lives of others as well as ourselves.
what can take 10 seconds to say can still affect a person after 10 years. So choose words carefully.
lol im not directing that at you trying to tear you down or anything, its to everybody. I dont like people who have that "holier than thou" attitude. It makes me laugh inside kinda.
It's all good dude I have the same problem. I literally despise holier than thou people. On this subject I can concede I am easily a part of that crowd, but I don't care.
However, I can't encourage suicide or ignoring the guilt. I gave encouraging and supportive remarks. Guilt is your emotion to acknowledge or ignore. Fall victim to or rise above. I put it at the forefront of a suicidal dilemma because it's your guilt that's causing you these thoughts. The only way to beat it is to face it. Ignoring it doesn't solve the problem. Killing yourself doesn't solve it either. It only causes grief, guilt, and despair to your loved ones.
Not many people like tough love.
Edited by LRG (08/07/16 12:32 PM)
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG] 1
#23518816 - 08/07/16 12:44 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think you're being silly OC. IMO, you're taking the ultimate opportunity to grow and instead turning it to want to die.
Don't get me wrong, I get it, we both know that place. But IMO, this is a calling for you.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Perhaps. I don't feel as if I have grown in the slightest. I haven't slept well in a year and am frequently overcome with soul-searing grief and extreme crying jags.
If there is a door out, I do not have the key (that I am aware of) else I would use it.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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the clown in you is getting maudlin. maybe bipolar get help get laid get healthy and snarky again
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_ 🧠 _
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Mental Health Services at the VA last year:
Me: I can only do this if I have regular visits with the same counselor.
Primary Care Doctor: That sounds reasonable.
The reality: 5 visits in 6 months with 5 different counselors.
Summation: useless and a waste of time
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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win more dough at cards and buy a better there-there-a-pist
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_ 🧠 _
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
#23519143 - 08/07/16 02:22 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LRG said:
Quote:
demiu5 said: nonsense. one's life is one's own life, and they have every right to choose to end their life. it is selfish of others to demand someone not end their life FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT, often emotional.
Quite right. As someone whose attempted suicide I've had the exact same thoughts. Actually, laid in a hospital bed on the edge of death. Not "oh I wrote a suicide note and left it out as a cry for help." No I actually attempted suicide.
Are you sure your suicide attempt wasn't a cry for help?
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Mental Health Services at the VA last year:
Me: I can only do this if I have regular visits with the same counselor.
Primary Care Doctor: That sounds reasonable.
The reality: 5 visits in 6 months with 5 different counselors.
Summation: useless and a waste of time
OC, I have similar experiences with the mental branch of the health care system, although not that dramatic.
But, in essence, it's the same. You'll come to the realization that, really, nobody can help you. The only help that actually helps you, is the one that you can give to yourself. The rest is placebo shit. Except, in many cases antidepressants do actually help. At least to enable you to get up and make the first steps towards a non-dead future. Consider it.
So, you must make a decision. Will you help yourself and start fighting? And maybe loose the fight anyways? Or will you not? It's really up to you. And only you.
In your case, I would say to you: For committing suicide it's not advisable to choose a slow and painful death by refusing treatments. You know that. If you are absolutely and truly convinced that it's done and over for you, then you should do it quick and painless.
But you consider passively withering away... Thats nothing more than being unsure. Which is ok. It means that there is (and you have) still hope. Maybe you need to actually do this in order to, at some point in time when you are ready, still being there to reverse your present opinion.
Many people, who are not ill and don't even think about suicide, are in exactly the same spot as you are. They may not realize it, but they are slowly killing themselves by their life habits (smoking, drinking, working, you name it).
Maybe it's best for you to leave this place. Maybe it isn't. Do you really think, that anybody else except you knows this better than you?
My personal opinion is that are too many people living their lives in absolute misery just waiting for it to be over. They should be free to go without being made guilty. Especially the terminally sick ones.
But, on the other hand, miracles do happen. There's also a ton of people who are changed forever after they masterd serious crisis's, lost all kinds of appendices, nearly died and so forth... And they tend to be the more happy ones in general.
So, again... it's your decision. Will you just give up, lay down and die? Or will you get up and fight this? You don't give up anything by doing so, you know. You can always kill yourself anyday. But with cancer, it maybe to late one day for treatments. What then? Will you regret having refused treatment? Think about it.
my 2 ct's or more like 5 ct's
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: "My advice to you..."
strong drink or strong pods
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: demiu5]
#23519290 - 08/07/16 03:28 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: "My advice to you..."
Quote:
demiu5 said: strong drink or strong pods
Isn't there some other thread for you to unload in?
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Wow, are we the thought police? Just trying to bring a little levity to a rather depressing thread. Chill bro.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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No, not thought police. Idk. Whatever. Maybe OP laughs at this.
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: Wow, are we the thought police? Just trying to bring a little levity to a rather depressing thread. Chill bro.
why is this thread depressing?
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Spiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: demiu5]
#23519315 - 08/07/16 03:39 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's not depressing. It's just kinda serious.
WOAHH... 39.000 posts?
-------------------- Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.
Edited by Spiritwithin (08/07/16 03:41 PM)
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: demiu5]
#23519317 - 08/07/16 03:40 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Extreme pain and the impetus for suicide are not cheerful subjects to me. Call me crazy.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
Spiritwithin said: It's not depressing. It's just kinda serious.
WOAHH... 39.000 posts?
most of those were in otd and have no bearing on much of anything. good times, though
Quote:
DividedQuantum said: Extreme pain and the impetus for suicide are not cheerful subjects to me. Call me crazy.
i understand. not being cheerful does not = depressing in my world. to each their own
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: My ulcerative colitis from several years ago has returned, and with it, a much higher risk of colorectal cancer.
The point of this post, is that I don't really care anymore. This last year has been excruciatingly painful emotionally. So much so that I literally wanted out, but could not do that to my family.
When the symptoms returned, I was like "Good! Maybe I can finally find some relief." Now no one really wants to die a slow, painful death, but I just want the deep ache to stop.
Am I a coward to not want any medical treatment? To just let things take their "natural" course and be done with it?
Einstein had cancer of the brain and refused treatment, so no its not cowardly. Intelligent preparation in case of severe pain might be useful - BUT you seem to have emotional issues as well, so making a distinction between physical pain, and emotional pain would seem highly worthwhile. Since there is emotional pain it also seems worthwhile to have an objective prognosis of factors pertaining to the disease, and in particular the effects of diet, and possibly a fast. I have done many long fasts. The body's ability to heal and repair many ailments while fasting is astounding, and unknown to the majority in the medical profession.
Psychological therapy which you mention having problems with, is of course a methodology that involves some degree of dependence on another - possibly a lot. Vipassana meditation on the other hand makes one more independent. Vipassana meditation has a specific methodology, and is not vague. It is also medically documented to be helpful.
I expect neither fasting (primarily for the physical side) nor meditation (for possible 'sorting'/clarification/resolving emotional issues) appeals to you, and only mention them, because due to random circumstances (1) I know them both from personal experience to be not only worthwhile, but interesting and (2) you may find considering impending death changes your perspective on both what you think you know about life, and how willing you might be to widen your horizons, & (3) attempting to remain the same, is considered by many, to already be a form of death, but who knows?
Edited by laughingdog (08/07/16 04:12 PM)
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Eywa_devotee
Goddess Worshiper


Registered: 10/04/10
Posts: 1,088
Loc: State of Confusion, Arkan...
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Before you end it (i won't blame you if you choose to btw) you may want to try this:
First, Fast for 2 to 3 days with a colon cleanse on day 1 being sure to stay hydrated. This removed a lot of crap that can interfere with the treatment efficiency.
Next, Take some colchicine dayly until it makes you feel sick, you can get it easily off the net. Don't over do it, stop when it feels like you have UC like symptoms again. It sounds homeopathic but it is not, this drug is a mild chemotherapy that is used to treat gout by inducing mild immune system suppression. In combination with the fast it gives your immune system a reset.
Make sure to drink plenty of water and take electrolytes until you feel better. Pediolite or similar is good, but NO high fructose corn syrup though! The next day, make a strong tea with tumeric and syrian rue with 1000mg of vitamin C added. It will taste nasty but will help. Tumeric as much as you like or can stomach, syrian rue no more than 3 grams of seed. What this does is give a mood lift, and also has strong antibiotic properties that help prevent a bacterial bloom in your guts that would negate the treatment efficiency.
Finally, Take some milk thistle seed powder mixed into a yogurt and fruit smoothie a day later, and resume your diet when ready. Milk thistle seed causes your liver to purge toxins that may have triggered the relapse.
Adding some cannabis can possibly extend and maintain remission. This treatment in general helps most autoimmune disorders. Good luck and hope this helps.
-------------------- "Love one another." "To Love is to know me." "Love is the Law, Love under Will." "In Compassion, all sorrows end." Regardless of the Master, the message is the same- Choose love and you shall live, Choose Fear and you shall die. Help bring peace to this Earth: Love one another, and serve others before yourself.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Thanks to all posters for your understanding and empathy. I will consider your perspectives and suggestions.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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if you do end your life, would you please inform us, and not just leave us wondering what happened in your absence?
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Kryptos
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/14
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: demiu5]
#23520782 - 08/07/16 11:49 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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If you figure out a way to inform us post-action, a glimpse across the veil would also be pretty cool...
Can't say I'm a huge fan of the cleanse idea, those have a tendency to be placebos...Most of the "crap" the comes out is actually just balls of the fat ingredient in your cleanse mix interacting with the other ingredients and becoming hard balls of cholesterol/fat as they travel through your intestines. Of course, placebos are usually pretty good medication, so, I would say do what you feel needs to be done.
This entire thread reminded me of the intervention scene in the beginning of Breaking Bad.
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tump
ban the undead



Registered: 03/17/16
Posts: 2,383
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: Kryptos]
#23521034 - 08/08/16 02:39 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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No offence op but i feel your physical pain i suffer form uc and other ailments. But step up. Either work to be high all the time so the pain is less in which you dont care about anything. Or if death is what you want do something to increase your pain so you die of shock in which no one is then hurt by your suicide. My uc is alway active when i eat rice. So if i want to die i just eat two bowls of rice. But im sure your trigger is different. Suicide is not selfishness at all, population is to high for resources left on earth. Human beings need at our core to feel important without that, we are nothing. Be something or don't you know Whats right.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG] 1
#23521445 - 08/08/16 09:19 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LRG said:
Quote:
Spiritwithin said:
Quote:
LRG said: Suicide is incredibly selfish.
I disagree. Saying that is just a way to make the poor candidate for suicide feel guilty. On top of everything else.
It's only selfish if others totally rely on you for their own existence and/or happiness. Which is always wrong anyways, except for children. And if you have people around you who truly love you for what and who you are... you wouldn't think about suicide anyways.
Good they should feel guilty. Then they should face that guilt and apologize to everyone they love for thinking about it. Suicide is the ultimate form of weakness. When it rains it pours, and the real question is what will you do when that storm approaches. Free will is the reason we are here.
An even weaker person imo than someone who commits suicide is one who attempts suicide and doesn't quite make it through the gate of death, and then tells people what they should feel about suicide because he or she is more experienced with the situation
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: Wow, are we the thought police? Just trying to bring a little levity to a rather depressing thread. Chill bro.
OC no more microwave popcorn, even in a suicide attempt! It's just wrong, bro.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (08/08/16 04:52 PM)
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falcon



Registered: 04/01/02
Posts: 8,005
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Wash down some metamucil with some sort of probiotic slurry daily. Or better than metamucil half an orange including the peel, all chewed well.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Death by organic salsa is The Way!
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yeah



Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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That doesn't make any sense at all.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: yeah]
#23523854 - 08/09/16 01:22 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Take it up with Mr. Microwave Popcorn. He started it...
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
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Lol
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Death by organic salsa is The Way!
I'd suggest a diet heavy in Pepsi and Nacho Cheese Doritos.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Not death is bliss (for aforementioned reasons) but dying for sure can be. I always read about those romans offing themselves euphorically by bleeding to death in a warm bath. Then when it was my turn to bleed out by accident, I finally understood, despite of freezing november streets providing a lot less comfort than a hot bath. It's pretty obvious that a human life passing by the mind's eye seldom shows all joy and good memories, and so I went from shock, over denial to acceptance and appreciation, in a flash. Seeing the aforementioned "nothingness" doesn't scare everyone, in fact this was an intensely happy moment for me, providing a relief so powerful, I felt it lift my body a few inches off the ground.
It was very hard to accept waking up again, two weeks later in an intensive care unit. It still is, a decade afterwards.
I can say that if I had a latent death wish anyway, and would be diagnosed with cancer, I would sure as hell refuse treatment. What I would not do is to ride it out, long and painfully. The little bit of self-pity that was the cause of this thread would only be the tip of the iceberg. Dying of cancer is as miserable as it gets. What I would do is go out with a bang of some kind, if literally, metaphorically or intravenously would be dependant upon mood. Something along the lines of dying like a man and not like a coward.
Dying can be an utterly beautiful spiritual experience, don't waste it by waiting for a miserable mindset to set in.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said: Not death is bliss (for aforementioned reasons) but dying for sure can be. I always read about those romans offing themselves euphorically by bleeding to death in a warm bath. Then when it was my turn to bleed out by accident, I finally understood, despite of freezing november streets providing a lot less comfort than a hot bath. It's pretty obvious that a human life passing by the mind's eye seldom shows all joy and good memories, and so I went from shock, over denial to acceptance and appreciation, in a flash. Seeing the aforementioned "nothingness" doesn't scare everyone, in fact this was an intensely happy moment for me, providing a relief so powerful, I felt it lift my body a few inches off the ground.
It was very hard to accept waking up again, two weeks later in an intensive care unit. It still is, a decade afterwards.
I can say that if I had a latent death wish anyway, and would be diagnosed with cancer, I would sure as hell refuse treatment. What I would not do is to ride it out, long and painfully. The little bit of self-pity that was the cause of this thread would only be the tip of the iceberg. Dying of cancer is as miserable as it gets. What I would do is go out with a bang of some kind, if literally, metaphorically or intravenously would be dependant upon mood. Something along the lines of dying like a man and not like a coward.
Dying can be an utterly beautiful spiritual experience, don't waste it by waiting for a miserable mindset to set in.
My poor sister died of a cancer likely put upon her by the same monster of a mate that likely strangled her when she fought too hard and might have survived. What can I do, I can't change things and it's far too late for an autopsy. Anything would just punish my sisters kids to have their dad gone.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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You don't need to explain but that surely is a very strange story
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said: You don't need to explain but that surely is a very strange story
Shall I bring in the stolen research and the Rockefeller Foundation connection along with the disappearance of the original researcher?
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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did she ask her partner to strangle her?
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: demiu5]
#23525899 - 08/09/16 07:56 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
demiu5 said: did she ask her partner to strangle her?
no. she wanted to live but this prick did her in right before my mom and dad drove up to see my sister.
unlike some gutless folks, my sis had a shit ton of courage and fought with every fiber of her being. she just made a bad choice of a cheating murderous mate.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (08/09/16 07:58 PM)
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said: You don't need to explain but that surely is a very strange story
Shall I bring in the stolen research and the Rockefeller Foundation connection along with the disappearance of the original researcher?
This sounds pretty confusing to say the least.
Did you notice any other suspicious activities around recently?
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said: You don't need to explain but that surely is a very strange story
Shall I bring in the stolen research and the Rockefeller Foundation connection along with the disappearance of the original researcher?
This sounds pretty confusing to say the least.
Did you notice any other suspicious activities around recently?
Recently? No, the murdering bastard no longer is in my life. Confusing? Not really, he is a thief a murderer and a prick. I think he has tenure at the university and makes a nice pension living with his murdering whore fellow researcher. At least I don't have to worry about it their kids are fellow whores and not worthy of my time.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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tump
ban the undead



Registered: 03/17/16
Posts: 2,383
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Besides any fiber will make it worse. Screw organic go fully processed crap form dallor tree.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: tump] 2
#23530009 - 08/11/16 12:48 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Update: I started this thread when I was at one of the lowest points of my life and that was obviously self-pity talking. Am I all happy and balanced now? No, but I will seek medical treatment and put up the good fight.
Death is way easier than living, but there is plenty of time for that.
--------------------
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Fucking glad to hear that OC. My feeling is that you've still got much to do, much to learn, and much to give, before your time here on this plane of existence is up.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Brian Jones
Club 27



Registered: 12/18/12
Posts: 12,342
Loc: attending Snake Church
Last seen: 16 hours, 16 minutes
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Update: I started this thread when I was at one of the lowest points of my life and that was obviously self-pity talking. Am I all happy and balanced now? No, but I will seek medical treatment and put up the good fight.
Death is way easier than living, but there is plenty of time for that.
Way to go good. Keep fighting just lost an eye right after losing the 2 most important pe0ple in my life. I feel terribe but maybe I can get it back under control.
\\
-------------------- "The Rolling Stones will break up over Brian Jones' dead body" John Lennon I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either. The worst thing about corruption is that it works so well,
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Sorry to hear that, Brian. What happened?
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Brian Jones
Club 27



Registered: 12/18/12
Posts: 12,342
Loc: attending Snake Church
Last seen: 16 hours, 16 minutes
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I fell on a guitar, facepalmed the buckle for the strap on the upper cutaway of a Fender Squire (student version of a Stratacaster). The funny thing is I thought I did this at my house at 7AM after me and my friend did afterhours drinking since the bar closed at 2. He drank heavily at the bar, I drank light for 90 minutes, and was catching up fast at home. It wasn't till a week later that a 3rd friend told me he came to my house after he got off work at 6 AM and stayed till 8 (I had no recollection). He said he asked me to tune the guitar cause I'm mostly tonedeaf and I couldn't find my electronic tuner. The guitar got moved from behind the love seat to right where the coach an loveseat form an L. So at closer to 9AM I do this 1 out of 10,00 fall and my eyeball made pefect contact with the buckle. So this was the price for me being sloppy and not being able to find the tuner. The eyeball is still in and they wont take the sutures out for another month but there is no hope for sight. To be fair I guess 2 pitchers at the bar and 23 cans afterwards runs toward excessive.
-------------------- "The Rolling Stones will break up over Brian Jones' dead body" John Lennon I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either. The worst thing about corruption is that it works so well,
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Awww, man!
--------------------
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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Yikes I keep going to get my right retina welded back in place, going to lose that eye some day I guess. It's still flashing every day so the last fix hasn't been a good one. laser retinal surgery is very very painful and HOT!
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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I noticed that when I read Brian's story, my focus shifted from my problems to his tragedy; from the inner to the outer - and in that moment, my pain stopped.
Compassion > self-pity. That is today's lesson.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: Yikes I keep going to get my right retina welded back in place, going to lose that eye some day I guess. It's still flashing every day so the last fix hasn't been a good one. laser retinal surgery is very very painful and HOT!
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 16 hours, 43 minutes
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said:
Am I all happy and balanced now? No, but I will seek medical treatment and put up the good fight.
Have you considered you might not have a biological problem.
What is it exactly you want to change, and what is the fight about?
Glad you are doing better.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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How would rectal bleeding not be considered a biological problem?
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 16 hours, 43 minutes
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Ah, sorry. You said you weren't happy and balanced now, so I assumed you were referring to your state of mind.
My mom died of colon cancer when I was 1 year old. I can relate to the seriousness of this.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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stop white bread in all forms
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: How would rectal bleeding not be considered a biological problem?
Is this a trick question?
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Last time I cured it with beer and pizza.
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Update: I started this thread when I was at one of the lowest points of my life and that was obviously self-pity talking. Am I all happy and balanced now? No, but I will seek medical treatment and put up the good fight.
Death is way easier than living, but there is plenty of time for that.
Just remember, maybe things will get a whole lot better, or maybe they'll get a whole lot worse. You don't know, you're only guessing. Keeping an open mind is a good thing, imho.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Last time I cured it with beer and pizza.
Sometimes when I drink a shit ton of stout my shit is so dark and runny I think it's bloody when it isn't. Maybe that's what's going on.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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liquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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I bet you get a bloody asshole but don't blame the stout.
-------------------- As far as I assume to know...
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
liquidlounge said: I bet you get a bloody asshole but don't blame the stout.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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liquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Oh, I won't imagine.
-------------------- As far as I assume to know...
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
liquidlounge said: Oh, I won't imagine.
Dude, you are really starting to annoy me. Leave me alone. I don't like creepers like you who stalk me over years. So, fuck off! Please, take this as a courtesy fuck off before I get really pissed.
TIA
yeah good job trying to erase your creepy as fuck posts and disappear like the stalker/creeper you are.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (08/12/16 12:56 PM)
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 29,591
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I can relate OC. Just got out of rehab because I'm really good at shooting heroin eating Xanax and smoking crack.
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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You had a triple major?
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 29,591
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Yes sir lulz
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: stop white bread in all forms
brown yeast lives matter
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: demiu5]
#23539211 - 08/13/16 10:35 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Despite the seeming correlation, UC is an autoimmune disease and NOT dietary related.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Quote:
Cognitive_Shift said: I can relate OC. Just got out of rehab because I'm really good at shooting heroin eating Xanax and smoking crack.
if golf is an olympic sport, then shooting heroin/eating bars/smoking rock should be as well
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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laughingdog
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,828
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Despite the seeming correlation, UC is an autoimmune disease and NOT dietary related.
I'm not a doc, and didn't know that. So I went to wikipeda & As you say very serious bidness here- but it seems probiotics can be useful, so gut health would seem to matter, also oddly nicotine is apparently sometimes used according to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulcerative_colitis
"Furthermore, it has been suggested that the protective benefit of smoking in ulcerative colitis is due to the hydrogen cyanide from cigarette smoke reacting with hydrogen sulfide to produce the non-toxic isothiocyanate, thereby inhibiting sulfides from interrupting the pathway."
"Studies using a transdermal nicotine patch have shown clinical and histological improvement.[51]"
also:
"Bacterial recolonization In a number of randomized clinical trials, probiotics have demonstrated the potential to be helpful in the treatment of ulcerative colitis. Specific types of probiotics such as Escherichia coli Nissle have been shown to induce remission in some patients for up to a year.[64] Another type of probiotic that is said to have a similar effect is Lactobacillus acidophilus.[citation needed] The probiotics are said to work by calming some of the ongoing inflammation that causes the disease, which in turn allows the body to mobilize dendritic cells, otherwise known as messenger immune cells. These cells then are able to produce other T-cells that further aid in restoring balance in the intestines by rebalancing systematic inflammation.[65]"
"Fecal bacteriotherapy involves the infusion of human probiotics through fecal enemas. "
So perhaps if probiotics help, then foods that are harmonious to those bacteria might as well help indirectly
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deff
just love everyone



Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
Loc: clarity
Last seen: 2 hours, 34 minutes
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wishing you all the best with this OC !
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: deff]
#23541753 - 08/14/16 06:19 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks, Deff. Am still wavering on making a doctor's appointment though I need to. *sigh*
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 29,591
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Just do it first thing Monday morning and get it over with OC.
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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But, but, but - I am immortal! Or I used to be...
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tump
ban the undead



Registered: 03/17/16
Posts: 2,383
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Immortality is a bicth
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: tump]
#23541974 - 08/14/16 07:30 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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In the old days, immortality meant something.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 16 hours, 43 minutes
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The days are long, but the years are short.
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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.
Edited by ruaware (12/05/16 05:57 PM)
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tump
ban the undead



Registered: 03/17/16
Posts: 2,383
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Passive Suicide [Re: ruaware]
#23556068 - 08/19/16 07:31 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Do because its family fun.
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