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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
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Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
Passive Suicide * 1
    #23517515 - 08/07/16 12:28 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

My ulcerative colitis from several years ago has returned, and with it, a much higher risk of colorectal cancer.

The point of this post, is that I don't really care anymore. This last year has been excruciatingly painful emotionally. So much so that I literally wanted out, but could not do that to my family.

When the symptoms returned, I was like "Good! Maybe I can finally find some relief." Now no one really wants to die a slow, painful death, but I just want the deep ache to stop.

Am I a coward to not want any medical treatment? To just let things take their "natural" course and be done with it?


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OfflineLRG
Supernaut
Male
Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23517528 - 08/07/16 12:39 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I don't know.

I like the idea of fighting for every last breath. I have a hard time letting go of the people I love. Any force that wants to strip me away from them I will fight, but I do know death is inevitable. When it comes for me it better have a good reason.

I wouldn't say it's cowardly to not fight for your life, but it's not certainly not heroic or courageous.

The kid in this video has no arms and no legs. Nobody gives him a break and he has to do everything like a person who has arms and legs. Think you have a rough life? He's got courage. Where's yours? You still have a family? Perhaps you should pull some strength from them. You're never alone and strength and courage do not need to come from just yourself.




--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


Edited by LRG (08/07/16 12:43 AM)


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InvisibleKhancious
da Crow
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Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 628
Loc: Behind Everything
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23517531 - 08/07/16 12:42 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Keep the faith and it will all work out  :pope:

On the real, I would do the same by avoiding medical facilitation yet I would utilize the medicines from the soil.

High doses of turmeric and black pepper daily for starters for inflammation and cetain properties that may be slow or kill cancer cells,
perhaps kratom for the pain relief and an emotional uplift although there are no studies how this effects the G.I. and bowel tract.
Plenty of cheap alternatives with enough research and proper sources.


--------------------
I am that, which is.


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
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Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG] * 1
    #23517539 - 08/07/16 12:46 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I am not disregarding your thoughts and I know my post reeks of self-pity, but I did a recent thread on the idea of others being worse off as a remedy to pain.

If someone kicked you hard in the nuts would you suddenly feel better knowing that somewhere in the world a man lost a testicle?

If your lover suddenly died in a car accident, would you feel better knowing that someone lost an entire family in a disaster?

I doubt that such knowledge would have the slightest impact.


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OfflineLRG
Supernaut
Male
Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23517562 - 08/07/16 01:00 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

OrgoneConclusion said:
I am not disregarding your thoughts and I know my post reeks of self-pity, but I did a recent thread on the idea of others being worse off as a remedy to pain.

If someone kicked you hard in the nuts would you suddenly feel better knowing that somewhere in the world a man lost a testicle?

If your lover suddenly died in a car accident, would you feel better knowing that someone lost an entire family in a disaster?

I doubt that such knowledge would have the slightest impact.




Hey man I agree completely. Words like that fall on deaf ears to those in true pain, but it is nice to know there are worse predicaments you could be in right now.

I don't look at as a way of saying "Oh so and so lost his parents and I only lost my leg." That kind of stuff just leaves you open for more despair.

I know a guy who was a NYC firefighter, FBI agent, one of the best men I'll ever know. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, lung cancer, liver cancer, and leukemia. To top it off one of his sons turned into a rapist and the other a lifelong criminal. I talked to him about his life away from his wife and he told me all he wants is to tell his son's he's sorry for not being there for them more and that he loves them. This man is literally knocking on death's door, and all he cares about are his two piece of shit sons. As I am sitting next to him, practically a son having known him my whole life, he tells me this.

If you wish to die fine. Just make sure you're not alone. Nobody should die alone.


--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


Edited by LRG (08/07/16 01:01 AM)


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OfflineSpiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23517574 - 08/07/16 01:08 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

If there's one lesson I learned the hard way:

You never ever talk about suicide. To no one.
You either do it or you don't but don't expect anybody to understand.
People can't handle it. Period. You will loose your friends if you do.

They will only try to convince you not to do it anyways. What the hell do they know about your life?

my 2ct


--------------------
Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
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Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: Spiritwithin]
    #23517582 - 08/07/16 01:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I joined Suicide Club. Then one day I went to the monthly meeting and no one was there! :confused:


--------------------


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OfflineLRG
Supernaut
Male
Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: Spiritwithin]
    #23517583 - 08/07/16 01:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Spiritwithin said:
If there's one lesson I learned the hard way:

You never ever talk about suicide. To no one.
You either do it or you don't but don't expect anybody to understand.
People can't handle it. Period. You will loose your friends if you do.

They will only try to convince you not to do it anyways. What the hell do they know about your life?

my 2ct




They know your life is important to theirs. You outta know your life is important to other people. Suicide is incredibly selfish.

I've contemplated it a few times, attempted once... anytime it ever comes back around I laugh it off and say not yet.


--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


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OfflineSpiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
    #23517611 - 08/07/16 01:33 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

LRG said:
Suicide is incredibly selfish.




I disagree. Saying that is just a way to make the poor candidate for suicide feel guilty. On top of everything else.

It's only selfish if others totally rely on you for their own existence and/or happiness. Which is always wrong anyways, except for children.
And if you have people around you who truly love you for what and who you are... you wouldn't think about suicide anyways.


--------------------
Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.


Edited by Spiritwithin (08/07/16 01:41 AM)


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Offline2get2her
Stranger
Registered: 08/07/16
Posts: 1
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23517654 - 08/07/16 02:15 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Way 2 go, you are basically asking whether YOUR LIFE is worth fighting for. You matter, life doesn't promise a free pass from pain. But it does guarantee you will never have to face life alone and you possess untapped strength within to overcome any obstacle life may present.


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InvisibleInto The Woods
Quarantine King
Male

Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23517661 - 08/07/16 02:31 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I wouldn't call it cowardly...
Perhaps in need of new angles of perspective (and I mean no disrespect, allow me to elaborate). I can only speak from my own experience, but perhaps my analysis could be applied in some way to others experiencing what might be a similar frame of mind.

During periods when I'm particularly down, my broader perspective narrows, and I have difficulty looking at life in all it's dimensions. Almost everything makes me miserable, and being deprived of pleasure makes that misery, or emptiness, the only thing in focus, which cycles into everything in focus (being profound emptiness and misery) making me miserable. Makes sense, right?

The brain follows patterns it recognizes.
Take this thought experiment for an example,
Look around the room you're in for everything the colour blue, then close your eyes and try to recall everything in the room that's the colour red.

When you feel shitty, your brain has a much easier time recognizing all the shitty.

So how to break the cycle, I think about all the shitty things, and what I do want out of life. I don't have those things yet, now I feel shittier. What would life be like if I did have those things? Probably better. I can't bring myself to kill myself because it would tear my family apart so if I'm not going to stop existing any time soon, I'd might as well act towards shaping my life into that remnant vision where things are the opposite of the things that make me miserable. Now I have a new angle of perspective too. Things don't have to suck. They might do now, but they won't necessarily always.

So what would your life be like, if you didn't have your reasons for not giving a damn? If you'd absolved the causes of the deep ache?

Do you want to move towards that?

Sometimes when we're set in our ways, when we've conditioned ourselves to think a certain way, it can be nigh impossible to turn and look at things in another way on our own. Even what might become seemingly obvious can have been obscured, and peripheral, or out of sight all together.

What would the you that had the perfect advice tell the you that needed it?

Also seeing as you're alive, you'd might as well do what you can to enjoy yourself.

I don't know if this is helpful, but I hope I spun some kind of brain-wheel and got something moving. I need my own wheels spinning now and again, too.


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Offlineviktor
psychotechnician
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Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion] * 1
    #23517704 - 08/07/16 03:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

If you're going to do it, do it. Don't go the Icelander route and stink up the forum with your misery, though.

I can tell you that death is the greatest thing that can ever happen to a consciousness, because suffering is of the body/mind and the real you is liberated from this in death. Upon liberation from this vehicle of suffering, your true self returns to a state of utter bliss.

There are many here on this drugs forum who have learned the same thing from psychedelics. Listen to them and your fear will go away.

If you don't believe me then you choose to suffer, and if so I have no sympathy for you!

Happy travels!


--------------------
"They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."


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OfflineSpiritwithin
Humidifier


Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 164
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: viktor]
    #23517721 - 08/07/16 03:26 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

viktor said:
I can tell you that death is the greatest thing that can ever happen to a consciousness, because suffering is of the body/mind and the real you is liberated from this in death. Upon liberation from this vehicle of suffering, your true self returns to a state of utter bliss.

Happy travels!




I'm sorry but, what a load of crap!

Death isn't anything. It's just the end. No bliss, no liberation, no return to anything. And then there is nothing. And you will not be there to experience it.


--------------------
Trading Golden teacher prints for Pan. cyan. prints.


Edited by Spiritwithin (08/07/16 03:28 AM)


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InvisibleInto The Woods
Quarantine King
Male

Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: viktor]
    #23517800 - 08/07/16 04:21 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Death is bliss, huh? Tell us, o wise one, how did you come to this conclusion? How did you come to any definitive conclusion? Arguably death could simply be no state of anything. How can something exist to be in a state of bliss if something no longer exists because nothing can't exist. How does your statement hold any more credibility than mine? (or anyone elses)

+1+-1=0?

Perhaps nobody truly knows but any assumption above a logical zero sum answer sounds increasingly far fetched.

:sip:


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Invisiblequinn
some kinda love
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: LRG]
    #23517960 - 08/07/16 06:44 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

LRG said:
Hey man I agree completely. Words like that fall on deaf ears to those in true pain, but it is nice to know there are worse predicaments you could be in right now.

I don't look at as a way of saying "Oh so and so lost his parents and I only lost my leg." That kind of stuff just leaves you open for more despair.

I know a guy who was a NYC firefighter, FBI agent, one of the best men I'll ever know. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, lung cancer, liver cancer, and leukemia. To top it off one of his sons turned into a rapist and the other a lifelong criminal. I talked to him about his life away from his wife and he told me all he wants is to tell his son's he's sorry for not being there for them more and that he loves them. This man is literally knocking on death's door, and all he cares about are his two piece of shit sons. As I am sitting next to him, practically a son having known him my whole life, he tells me this.

If you wish to die fine. Just make sure you're not alone. Nobody should die alone.




i really hate to do this but..

:cop:


--------------------
dripping with fantasy


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Invisiblequinn
some kinda love
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Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23517983 - 08/07/16 06:57 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

im sorry to hear that OC
:feelssadman:

in terms of emotional pain, is that mostly to do with that woman or having to live with the ulcer or something else?

i dont think it is cowardly but is a shame you feel so beat.. the way i see it is what have you got to lose?


--------------------
dripping with fantasy


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion] * 2
    #23518018 - 08/07/16 07:22 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

fight back against this drole scenario in which

chronic colitis is cured while a

brilliant love story fares up but

quickly goes nova and fades

leaving a bleak black moodiness in it's wake

chronic colitis returns

dark mood visits suicidal regions

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

the mental emotional physical yoke needs to be yanked in another direction
but a detached view is a great beginning to restore the gut of a man of guts.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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InvisiblePaulyAnna
Male


Registered: 09/01/15
Posts: 200
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23518045 - 08/07/16 07:44 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Get a copy of Lessons from the Dying, by Rodney Smith.

You wouldn't be a coward. It's believed that death is the hardest of all knocks.

Those being face with the certainty of death, it touches them in certainty. How each individual processes and responds to it is unique to them. Be yourself and do what you feel is best.


--------------------
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
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Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23518213 - 08/07/16 09:33 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

i run a fairly high risk of cancer and have given this a lot of thought.  i've seen numerous people have various organs removed, go through chemo (or other heavily intrusive "therapies"), and then rehab.  it seems like a horrible, horrible process, many of them ending up in lasting pain almost as intense as what they initially dealt with before treatment. 


my own stance, for my life, is that i *might* be willing to undergo organ(s) removal, but no way in hell would i ever go through chemotherapy or similar.  i would certainly try CBD/CBN therapy, if possible.


if/when the pain became too great, suicide is certainly the option.  most likely opiates/opioids



at some point, your family will have to accept/live with your lack of being.  why not make it on your own terms, sparing them the suffering of witnessing you suffer


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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OfflineLRG
Supernaut
Male
Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Passive Suicide [Re: Spiritwithin]
    #23518436 - 08/07/16 10:54 AM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Spiritwithin said:
Quote:

LRG said:
Suicide is incredibly selfish.




I disagree. Saying that is just a way to make the poor candidate for suicide feel guilty. On top of everything else.

It's only selfish if others totally rely on you for their own existence and/or happiness. Which is always wrong anyways, except for children.
And if you have people around you who truly love you for what and who you are... you wouldn't think about suicide anyways.




Good they should feel guilty. Then they should face that guilt and apologize to everyone they love for thinking about it. Suicide is the ultimate form of weakness. When it rains it pours, and the real question is what will you do when that storm approaches. Free will is the reason we are here.

It's not always as simple as needing people who truly love you. You need to learn to love yourself. Obvious, but true. A harder task than finding someone to love you, imo.


--------------------
"I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes!

"Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous

"Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."


Edited by LRG (08/07/16 10:57 AM)


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