Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post Pages: < Back | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next >  [ show all ]
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: EllisDSox]
    #23514188 - 08/05/16 08:18 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

I actually never went there when it was a 'proper' club - only once the squatters got their grubby little mitts on it.

That reminds me, I'm due a fireworks rampage. It's been a couple of years now since I set off fireworks on an old couch on some back street in Islington and started a fire after a night of clubbing.

I'll bring the fireworks, you bring the extinguisher. Obviously not to be used in conjunction, but against the more random objects we can lay our hands on.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: DpRwav] * 1
    #23514195 - 08/05/16 08:20 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

ac1dHeaD said:
Do you know of fat people breaking toilet seats? At work? In your own home?!

How do we go about resolving dysfunctional toilet seats everywhere?






remove the toilet seats and ban them from bathrooms, if there's no toilet seat then there's no seat to be broken


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23514198 - 08/05/16 08:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Genius!!!!

:guiltyascharged:


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23514205 - 08/05/16 08:23 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Rampage smash. I'm not sure I can even get drunk enough to rampage without caring about the consequences anymore, but maybe some life threatening combination of benzos and speed could do it if I really committed.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: pachoo]
    #23514206 - 08/05/16 08:24 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

we already know you'll use 3 rolls of flushable butt cushioning anyway so it's not like you'll miss them


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23514208 - 08/05/16 08:25 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Force everyone to bring their own toilet seat from home.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23514211 - 08/05/16 08:25 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Exactly. It's like you almost know the real me.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: pachoo]
    #23514223 - 08/05/16 08:28 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

pachoo said:
Exactly. It's like you almost know the real me.





I'm in the stall next to you, I know you post on facebook when you're on the toilet


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23514225 - 08/05/16 08:29 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Wrong!!! I post on the shroomery.

Hah!


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: pachoo] * 1
    #23514228 - 08/05/16 08:29 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BERSERK DESTROYER said:
Force everyone to bring their own toilet seat from home.







Quote:

pachoo said:
Wrong!!! I post on the shroomery.

Hah!





I had a Hungarian girl that used to call me every time she went to the bathroom


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: EllisDSox]
    #23514230 - 08/05/16 08:30 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BERSERK DESTROYER said:
Rampage smash. I'm not sure I can even get drunk enough to rampage without caring about the consequences anymore, but maybe some life threatening combination of benzos and speed could do it if I really committed.



Yeah life kinda does that to you doesn't it. Age gets you thinking about all the possible consequences a good old fashioned rampage smash can have. My partner in crime when it comes to such things now drives a £50k Merc and wears a £3.5k watch, but occassionally, if I catch him in the right mood, we can live out those glorious days of our youth..

In fact, oddly connected story, got chatting to a dude working behind the counter in a Pret today who invited me to a squat party in the woods at the end of the month. I'm really tempted, although I don't fancy going head to head with a tree....


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23514232 - 08/05/16 08:31 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Was it her comfort spot? I get my best ideas on the toilet.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: pachoo]
    #23514248 - 08/05/16 08:36 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

it may have been, it may also have been the only place her dad and brothers wouldnt tease her about talking to a guy


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23514250 - 08/05/16 08:37 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Yeah life kinda does that to you doesn't it. Age gets you thinking about all the possible consequences a good old fashioned rampage smash can have. My partner in crime when it comes to such things now drives a £50k Merc and wears a £3.5k watch, but occassionally, if I catch him in the right mood, we can live out those glorious days of our youth..

In fact, oddly connected story, got chatting to a dude working behind the counter in a Pret today who invited me to a squat party in the woods at the end of the month. I'm really tempted, although I don't fancy going head to head with a tree....




I don't have an excessively expensive watch to lose or anything, I'd just feel like a dickhead destroying random objects for the sake of it. I could try and do tactical rampages, but I think that just amounts to really poorly planned, ineffective terrorism.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23514260 - 08/05/16 08:40 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Were you in hiiiigh school?

:ohyou:


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: EllisDSox]
    #23514270 - 08/05/16 08:42 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BERSERK DESTROYER said:
I'd just feel like a dickhead destroying random objects for the sake of it.



I think I said too much.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Edited by Jokeshopbeard (08/05/16 10:48 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: pachoo] * 1
    #23514283 - 08/05/16 08:45 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

pachoo said:
Were you in hiiiigh school?

:ohyou:





no. I was 23, she was 20

her father and uncle abducted me from the street one day, took me to their
house and got me liquored up on home made peach brandy.


they also fed me their manly hungarian sausages :naughty:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23514295 - 08/05/16 08:49 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Well hot fucking dog.

:lol:


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineDpRwav
Flesh Vehicle
Male


Registered: 09/15/13
Posts: 3,366
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: pachoo]
    #23514695 - 08/05/16 11:18 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

Toilet seats move UP and DOWN. Not left and right.

America needs industrial strength toilet seats or at least be welded down so that even tons of weight moving about it while wiping and what not will not jar it from its intended leverage abilities.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 52 minutes
Re: Overweight people need to learn how to sit on toilets properly. [Re: DpRwav] * 1
    #23514699 - 08/05/16 11:20 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

If you're gonna "weld" the lid down, why not just make the toilet lidless like in jail or whatever?

I mean if you're okay with everything that's on them in public anyways. I'd like to keep convincing myself that when I have to shit and can't hold it, that people actually put the lid up and know how to aim their bodily waste so I'm not sitting on the piss, shit and puke of 100,000 men.

And no, I won't do the hover thing either.. The people who do that are probably the ones largely responsible for making the seat disgusting enough that people feel the need to do that in the first place.

Also while it's on my mind:

God I hate that.


Edited by Shroomslip (08/05/16 11:23 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: < Back | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next >  [ show all ]


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Tales From the Toilet. Heinous_Anus 607 6 08/17/05 09:51 PM
by Heinous_Anus
* Questions about your toilet paper...I have a dilemma
( 1 2 3 all )
MOTH 8,492 57 06/03/04 09:25 AM
by goobler
* How do you meditate properly?
( 1 2 all )
Sketchy105 4,572 21 10/11/11 06:52 AM
by blewmeanie
* Before toilet paper there was..........?
( 1 2 all )
freddurgan 3,241 27 05/27/05 05:01 AM
by MAIA
* Toilet Paper joke MagicalMystery 886 1 08/11/05 06:00 PM
by funkymonk
* what is the proper way to smoke a cigar?
( 1 2 all )
TRS 2,648 22 06/04/04 11:02 AM
by TheDude
* Student Charged With Clogging Toilet
( 1 2 all )
Adom 2,056 20 02/14/19 04:21 PM
by theRealrollforever
* Why do piss tests tell you not to flush the toilet?
( 1 2 all )
TheFakeSunRa 38,283 22 09/22/05 12:21 PM
by FL_accciD

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
1,951 topic views. 4 members, 52 guests and 42 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.025 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 15 queries.