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Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Self obsessed and a perfectionist.
    #2351158 - 02/18/04 06:01 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I'm allways thinking in my mind like what people think of me, and what people say about me when I'm not around to hear. Its not like I'm worried about it, it doesnt feel that way, but its allways when I dont have anything specific to think about that I start thinking and imagining situations in my mind where people say, "wow, mario (thats my name), you're one hell of a guy!" and then I try to find out how to make that situation come true. Its not bad for others cause this just makes me try to be a pleasant person, but I dont like to be such a perfectionist about myself, It sounds silly to be thinking like this as much as I do.
I dont aim for fame or power in my intentions (it doesnt FEEL that way), but I have all these dreams and ideas in my mind for books to write and people to help financially, mentally, spiritually in the future... moving around the world and doing this stuff. I want to write a book that will change the world for the better, sell tonnes of psychedelic positive "drugs" and use all my money on helping people out and ruining our evil government and bla bla bla... etc... etc... etc...
I want the world to be a better place, I really do, and yes it is somehow my one and only "crazy" goal (its like if I dont do this I'm not fullfilling my life's purpose), but I hate those thoughts that come inbetween where I imagine people thanking me and looking up to me and shit, it makes me feel fake about myself... I dont know... what are all of yall's 2 cents about this?

Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!

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Registered: 08/10/03
Posts: 691
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Self obsessed and a perfectionist. [Re: filthysock]
    #2353543 - 02/19/04 04:48 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

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If John Waters, Stanley Kubrick, and Tim Burton all got in a fight I think Waters would beat up Kubrick but mostly because he is already dead and Burton would probably just masturbate watching the whole spooky ordeal. Then a Lobster would have relations with all of them.

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Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 4,284
Loc: The Zero Point Field
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
Re: Self obsessed and a perfectionist. [Re: filthysock]
    #2353550 - 02/19/04 04:52 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I know this sounds bad, and I'm not saying to think it meanly, but what helped me when I was insecure and worrying about what people thought is "fuck 'em".

Seriously, I have a sister who kisses everyone's asses. She had an ulcer by the time she was 18.

I'm not saying be a dick. I'm saying put your worries in a compartment, somewhere in your brain, and close it.

When you think someone might be thinking something about you, put that thought away in a compartment. You can always pull it out later and look at it again.

And then say, "fuck 'em", and go about your business.

The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 136
Re: Self obsessed and a perfectionist. [Re: filthysock]
    #2353808 - 02/19/04 08:57 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

If you are anything like me, which I imagine you are, you have a zillion thoughts running through your mind all the time. Aspirations, ambitions, desires.

"What does so and so think about this and that?"
"Should I blah blah blah, or drabble drabble drabble?"

When you have some free time, try to still all those thoughts. Sit, and concentrate on the room you are in. Be like a camcorder. Just observe. It's hard, but it's the key to finding all the answers to your questions, on your own.

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