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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 10 days, 19 hours
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Can people be friends after a breakup?
#23504303 - 08/03/16 02:07 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I am yet to see it happen. Even once. Maybe I am just a bitter person? But for me, I just block my exes on all social networks. I think it is the best for both me and the other person involved
And every long term relationship (1-3+ years) ends on bitter terms (my observations)
Thoughts? Opinions?
Edited by topdog82 (08/03/16 02:16 AM)
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Spellbound
PegasusTheFlyingHorse



Registered: 02/13/16
Posts: 2,341
Loc: England
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23504334 - 08/03/16 02:31 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Most of the time it doesnt seem to work i think, usually one gets jealous when the other moves on, or too much water under the bridge for a true friendship.
I am good friends with someone i dated for about 2.5 years, we kinda just grew apart and ended up as good friends, thats the only one where its worked though haha. Seems rare to be left with a close friendship that works ime.
-------------------- Mescaline Tea - the one singular occasion of my entire life I cooked for 9 hours The trick is to be yourself, in a world trying to make you like everyone else
 
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 10 days, 19 hours
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Spellbound]
#23504335 - 08/03/16 02:33 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Spellbound said: Most of the time it doesnt seem to work i think, usually one gets jealous when the other moves on, or too much water under the bridge for a true friendship.
I am good friends with someone i dated for about 2.5 years, we kinda just grew apart and ended up as good friends, thats the only one where its worked though haha. Seems rare to be left with a close friendship that works ime.
I think I have seen one marriage where things seen things pan out positively but I just think this concept of being friends is horrible advice/unrealistic
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Spellbound
PegasusTheFlyingHorse



Registered: 02/13/16
Posts: 2,341
Loc: England
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23504341 - 08/03/16 02:41 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Its worth noting i havent dated since so im single, should i meet someone then im conscious things may change it works for now and has been about three years since we drifted apart.
Generally though it doesnt end well, most my exes we dont even have each other numbers anymore, i try not to let things end nasty though im pretty laid back, but friendship is rare after though isnt it, rarely seems to work well.
-------------------- Mescaline Tea - the one singular occasion of my entire life I cooked for 9 hours The trick is to be yourself, in a world trying to make you like everyone else
 
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Spellbound] 1
#23504414 - 08/03/16 04:08 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I am excellent at maintaining friendships with exes. There's no girl I've seriously dated that I'm not still friends with in some capacity today. Two of my exes are actually amongst my closest friends, and are good friends with my fiancé.
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23504417 - 08/03/16 04:14 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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It's possible
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 10 days, 19 hours
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#23504430 - 08/03/16 04:28 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: I am excellent at maintaining friendships with exes. There's no girl I've seriously dated that I'm not still friends with in some capacity today. Two of my exes are actually amongst my closest friends, and are good friends with my fiancé. 
whats the secret? you guys end on really good terms? I am really surprised honestly
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SonicTitan



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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: SunnyD]
#23504433 - 08/03/16 04:29 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yes, my ex and I still talk and maybe share a toke or whatever. We're not best friends or anything..I mean thats alittle hard when you give part of your life to someone for so long and then you break up. I still love her very much and probably always will but to be best friends or something I don't think that happens very often for people who break up.
-------------------- "We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."
 
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82] 4
#23504444 - 08/03/16 04:39 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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None of those relationships ended on good terms at the time of the breakup, and in fact, some of them were really acrimonious. But with all of them, they were people that I had once been really close with and cared about a lot, whether I broke up with her or vice versa. And in all of these cases, the girl I split with was a really great person. I like to think I'm not a bad guy myself, so after the dust settled from the dissolution of the relationship and the bitterness subsided with time, what we all ended up being was two nice, decent people who had once cared for each other a lot. There was a mutual respect in that that makes it easy to renegotiate the situation into a real friendship, provided that one or both parties no longer harbors romantic and/or butthurt feelings towards the other. Given that set of circumstances, it's pretty easy to build an honest friendship with an ex.
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fapjack
Title



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Loc: Central New Jersey
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23504468 - 08/03/16 04:58 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Depends on the person and the breakup. I don't think most people are capable of it, but I'm still friends with one of my exes. I would be friends with more of them if they lived near me.
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 10 days, 19 hours
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#23504545 - 08/03/16 06:27 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: None of those relationships ended on good terms at the time of the breakup, and in fact, some of them were really acrimonious. But with all of them, they were people that I had once been really close with and cared about a lot, whether I broke up with her or vice versa. And in all of these cases, the girl I split with was a really great person. I like to think I'm not a bad guy myself, so after the dust settled from the dissolution of the relationship and the bitterness subsided with time, what we all ended up being was two nice, decent people who had once cared for each other a lot. There was a mutual respect in that that makes it easy to renegotiate the situation into a real friendship, provided that one or both parties no longer harbors romantic and/or butthurt feelings towards the other. Given that set of circumstances, it's pretty easy to build an honest friendship with an ex.
How long did it take for the dust to settle? Based on this surprising response I may try doing the same
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plasma
ɹoʇɐɹǝpoɯ

Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 10,001
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23504547 - 08/03/16 06:28 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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It's possible. You just have to make sure your next girlfriend is 10x hotter than your ex
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: plasma]
#23504559 - 08/03/16 06:35 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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That's an unknown variable. In the case of one of my exes, it took about a month. One girl, I didn't talk to for over 5 years. It's not something you can say, "well, we have three months distance, time to be friends". I think it's only the kind of thing you can pull off when both parties are in the right mindset. And maybe by the time it takes you to get into that right mindset, you won't even care about being friends any more.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#23504566 - 08/03/16 06:40 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I honestly just reconnected with the married woman like a week ago.
We are both not romantically interested in each other anymore but want to remain friends. I understand what burke is saying. At first I hated her but now since some time has passed, I have been able to kind of move past that. I will never forget how much in love with her I was. I still really love her. Fact of the matter is it will never happen.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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plasma
ɹoʇɐɹǝpoɯ

Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 10,001
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#23504567 - 08/03/16 06:41 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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From my experiences I usually won't entertain the idea of being friends with an ex until I'm secured in a relationship with a female with a fat pussy and huge tits and big dick sucking lips with thick hips. Then I'll feel good enough to hit up my old sleeze bag ex gf and we can be friends now
Edited by plasma (08/03/16 06:42 AM)
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Mr. Magic


Registered: 07/13/14
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Burke Dennings]
#23504684 - 08/03/16 07:56 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: None of those relationships ended on good terms at the time of the breakup, and in fact, some of them were really acrimonious. But with all of them, they were people that I had once been really close with and cared about a lot, whether I broke up with her or vice versa. And in all of these cases, the girl I split with was a really great person. I like to think I'm not a bad guy myself, so after the dust settled from the dissolution of the relationship and the bitterness subsided with time, what we all ended up being was two nice, decent people who had once cared for each other a lot. There was a mutual respect in that that makes it easy to renegotiate the situation into a real friendship, provided that one or both parties no longer harbors romantic and/or butthurt feelings towards the other. Given that set of circumstances, it's pretty easy to build an honest friendship with an ex.
Good post. Do you have any advice for getting over an ex? Its been 2.5years since i talked to her last and i still think about her a lot. I still love and care about her very much, but it will never be. I highly doubt ill ever see her again. I know its ultimately holding me back in life and from possibly meeting a new girl.
It sucks man. Why does this woman have so much power over my mind
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,077
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23504717 - 08/03/16 08:14 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Two of my friends are doing it right. They even trip together.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Apostle
Philanthropist


Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82] 1
#23504838 - 08/03/16 09:11 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Nah but thats mostly my fault.
one of em tried to stay friends. I just couldnt do it cause id rather not see or hear from her.
The others hated me right away and still do. One is even scared to even ever see me again. Dunno what thats about.
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Apostle]
#23504850 - 08/03/16 09:16 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Friends with benefits sometimes
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Apostle
Philanthropist


Registered: 12/12/09
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: ModestMouse]
#23504905 - 08/03/16 09:35 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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yea that usually works better. without the sex though, things tend to fall apart.
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