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Drugstore
I fought the law



Registered: 07/22/16
Posts: 51
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23505416 - 08/03/16 12:13 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Definitely depends on the reason for breaking up. You can't really be friends with somebody if you broke up because one of you acted crazy, cheated, stole, etc.
I.E. my breakup 2 relationships ago was about catching her lying over all sorts of random little things, and ditching me after making plans with all sorts of bizarre excuses and lies. No way you can stay friends with somebody you dump because you confront them with proof from their co-workers that they lied to you several times in a night both to ditch a date and lie more about pointless nonsense just for the sake of lying.
The relationship before that, I suppose we coulda stayed friends because we broke up with a mutual understanding that she didn't have the time for me because of an inhumane amount of academic work and pressure. But I guess I fucked that up by calling her fake the next time I ran into her because I felt like she wasn't being totally honest about the reason for the breakup. A real shame, because it's a lot more convenient to be on good terms with ex's especially if they're friends of friends.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Mr. Magic] 2
#23505445 - 08/03/16 12:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mr. Magic said:
Good post. Do you have any advice for getting over an ex? Its been 2.5years since i talked to her last and i still think about her a lot. I still love and care about her very much, but it will never be. I highly doubt ill ever see her again. I know its ultimately holding me back in life and from possibly meeting a new girl.
It sucks man. Why does this woman have so much power over my mind 
I really don't have any advice for you in that regard. For me, it's always been time + distance, and in a few weeks or maybe a few months, I'm over it. I assume you've tried all the regular stuff people do to get over a breakup: after mourning it, you date around, throw yourself into work/hobbies/etc, change of scenery, stuff like that. So if none of that helped, and here you are hung up on her still 2.5 years later, if it's still affecting the quality of your life like that, you might look into some counseling. A relationship breaking up can be akin to a death of a loved one, and some therapy with a licensed professional may help you put it to bed, so you can move on with your life. Other than that, I got nothin'. Good luck man.
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23578610 - 08/26/16 05:20 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Fuck em all. Burn those bridges man.
--------------------
  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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Vriska Serket
Mindfang



Registered: 10/02/13
Posts: 1,468
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: goldcaphunter]
#23578962 - 08/26/16 08:35 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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you can be friends again if you really sort out why you broke up and get some closure, and you were friends before you dated.
-------------------- the queen of shitposting
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King Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows



Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 7,267
Last seen: 7 months, 11 hours
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Vriska Serket]
#23579192 - 08/26/16 10:01 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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My ex-girlfreind of three years and I are still freinds. We're also still lovers though.
-------------------- Your god is dead, and I killed him. When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul
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Cosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS



Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Vriska Serket]
#23579203 - 08/26/16 10:03 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Vriska Serket said: you can be friends again if you really sort out why you broke up and get some closure, and you were friends before you dated.
this
so yes to z question
-------------------- Pull the blinds and change their minds....
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Cosmic_Flame]
#23580392 - 08/26/16 03:00 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
King Klick said: My ex-girlfreind of three years and I are still freinds. We're also still lovers though.
so you are friends with benefits? I personally could not do that
Quote:
Cosmic_Flame said:
Quote:
Vriska Serket said: you can be friends again if you really sort out why you broke up and get some closure, and you were friends before you dated.
this
so yes to z question
I mean I can see this. But from personal experience I just can't be friends with someone I dated. My last ex and I ended on a mutually neutral note. She went her way in life and I went mine. No horrible screaming or anything at the end. But I just felt like it was weird. and I couldn't keep her popping up in my social networks etc. So I blocked her
Another girl I was friends with before dating and I think i am reaching a point where I can unblock her and we can be mutually cool
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23580429 - 08/26/16 03:10 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm friends with an ex of mine. Granted we dated a while ago and we're not super close friends only really see each other to catch up once in a while, if that - we had to be though because worked in the same industry and even together for some time - it helps that we broke up in a pretty cordial way. Actually he's been offering to help me move recently, which is pretty chill.
Sometimes I think that he's still sitting on some words we shared when we broke up which were "maybe in the future it'll work out" and maybe just seeking closure which is fine.
I have a friend who's good friends with her ex and his current long term gf who are mutual friends of mine as well. We all hang out a lot and it's not weird at all.
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JohnnieYen
Okay



Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: pirate-blues] 1
#23580533 - 08/26/16 03:37 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I knew a guy who lived with his ex and her new boyfriend. Then he got a new girlfriend and she moved in. When they broke up she still stayed. So he was living with 2 exes and another guy.
They actually got along pretty well. I guess it helped that they were all stoners
I'm friends with my wife even though we are divorcing. Lived separated but in the same house for a year and a half. But I move out in a week with a couple of buddies.
FREEDOM!!!
-------------------- [center
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: JohnnieYen] 1
#23580544 - 08/26/16 03:41 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Heeey, congrats on the move out! I remember when you posted about that dilemma - there's no reason you can't co-parent and be friends with your ex in two separate households, and I think you'll both be better parents living your own separate lives to the fullest.
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ManianFH
living in perverty



Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,743
Last seen: 10 minutes, 45 seconds
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23580706 - 08/26/16 04:12 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
topdog82 said:
Quote:
Burke Dennings said: I am excellent at maintaining friendships with exes. There's no girl I've seriously dated that I'm not still friends with in some capacity today. Two of my exes are actually amongst my closest friends, and are good friends with my fiancé. 
whats the secret? you guys end on really good terms? I am really surprised honestly
Most of my exes dont want to see or talk to me. Didnt do much wrong, other than the relationship didnt work out, not like there was cheating or anything. There is one ex from way back who I have remained good friends with, and I probably treated her the worst of any gf ive ever been with - because I was a young, inexperienced idiot back then. But yeah she is just super easy going and has a great attitude - I apologized for treating her like shit years after, and now we have a really cool friendship going on 
I am hoping eventually a few more exes will come around, because I like all of them as people. One of them I could think would be a great friend, but I guess her husband is the super jealous type so she will likely never speak to me again.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23580906 - 08/26/16 05:17 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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In my opinion and experience break ups should be clean and final.
I believe when you break up with someone you had a relationship with you should not attempt to remain friends but simply part on good terms and say goodbye and make a clean break and move on.
I also require this from my lovers. If you want to date me, you can't be hanging around with your ex as friends .
I believe it's best for all , and quite necessary, that a person has a past love fully out of their lives before they embark on a new romance.
If you want me to fill your glass with a fresh cold fizzy beer, please pour out the lukewarm flat piss-end of the beer you drank yesterday first.
--------------------
Everything I post is fiction.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: JohnnieYen]
#23581338 - 08/26/16 07:12 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
JohnnieYen said:
But I move out in a week with a couple of buddies.
FREEDOM!!!
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King Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows



Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 7,267
Last seen: 7 months, 11 hours
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#23581643 - 08/26/16 08:28 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
topdog82 said:
Quote:
King Klick said: My ex-girlfreind of three years and I are still freinds. We're also still lovers though.
so you are friends with benefits? I personally could not do
Lovers is a better title if you wanna fuck your ex continuously.
-------------------- Your god is dead, and I killed him. When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul
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starfire_xes
I Am 'They'



Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 21,590
Loc: Dallas with all the assho...
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: Drugstore]
#23581669 - 08/26/16 08:35 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Todd Rundgren discusses this matter:
--------------------
    [/url] [/url]
IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: starfire_xes]
#24110585 - 02/22/17 10:24 AM (6 years, 11 months ago) |
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So I just unblocked an ex after a shroom trip. We facetimed and had dinner. I have no sexual feelings for her. no romantic ones. I just genuinely care for her and wanna see her succeed. Doesn't really bother me at all if she got a new bf or anything
So to answer the thread. I think the answer is yes
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Re: Can people be friends after a breakup? [Re: topdog82]
#24110728 - 02/22/17 11:20 AM (6 years, 11 months ago) |
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I think if you can't get over your differences, then you're bound to take those problems into your next relationship, and this might sabotage future relationships.
It might take a while for someone to forgive their ex, but I believe it must be done in order for people to move on.
Even people that have had their family members killed by some crazed lover, have found the heart to forgive the person who did it, time just might heal all woes.
But yeah, forgiveness is key to growth.
I have no contact with my ex, but if she's stalking me on here, id tell her I got over that situation years ago, and want the best for her.
-------------------- ©️
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