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vebula
Stranger

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 4
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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25-I Nbome Trip (I believe) / Should I continue my psychedelic usage?
#23503121 - 08/02/16 07:34 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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While I have only used nBome once, this experience has left me with so much to ponder. I enjoy drugs that encourage thinking, seeing through different perspectives, and I am so fascinated with the great existencial mysteries that are the common themes in psychedelics, so naturally I became interested in psyches about a year and a half ago. I had my first trip back in February and I realized many things after that experience, but I question whether or not I am mentally stable to continue venturing into the realm of psychedelics. So I'll explain my experience in chronological order as best I can:
So me and a friend had been interested in psyches for a while, mainly mushrooms but we live in a really small town so shroom dealers are pretty scarce. I found out a mutual friend was selling "acid" $10 a hit. Knowing LSD is pretty hard to get around here, I assumed the large possibility it was some rc, but I decided to buy 2 hits anyways, one for me and one for my friend, since I was guaranteed it was legit acid. So the next day me and my friend decide to take it at his place at around 6:30-45. I remember the tabs were really small maybe like 3 mm. So we each take the hit and wait until we feel the effects coming on. After about 5 minutes my tongue starts going numb, I tell my buddy and he says he feels it too. I leave the blotter on my tongue for an hour until I decide to swallow it. While waiting for the acid to kick in, my friend decides he wants to pack a bowl, I tell him I want to wait till I feel the acid coming on but he continues to ask so I give in and smoke a bowl or 2 while waiting. It wasn't after the fact that I realized weed and psyches CAN be an overwhelming mix but a friend had told me it would calm down a bad trip (complete bullshit, btw).
After a little over an hour I begin to feel strange, an indescribable feeling, somewhat confusing. My friend says he feels it too and after 30 minutes I can feel an energy coming up. It was everywhere and it felt like waves. Waves going through everything. I felt anxious andwhile it was coming up, I felt as though I was going to lose my mind. If I did not try to hold onto my sanity, I was going to tip over the brink. I began to tell myself to embrace these feelings and accept them. When I did, I felt an inner peace inside and the trip continued on well. An hour later, I begin to feel sad and somewhat hopeless so I asked my friend for a hug bc I felt like I really needed one ( I had been thinking of a best friend who was a brother to me that had died 3 years prior). It cheered me up for a while until I got that same feeling later on again so I asked him for another hug but he seemed reluctant since he probably thought it was gay that I was asking for a hug. I gave him a hug anyways knowing it would help my current mental state . I try to distract myself with music as well.
I stare at the ceiling fan for a while watching it melt slowly as it spins, circulating the air in the room. I focus on the face forming on the wall in front of me covered in streaks of different colors, and then the skin on my hand as the texture moves around and melt off. I was absolutely amazed by what I was seeing. Before I knew it, a few hours had passed as I stared at the deformed blobs that were Peter and Bryan Griffin on the TV. This next part really disturbs me when I think about it now. After a while, I get stuck in a thought loop and I want to get up and walk around. An internal force tells me "NO" and I get this feeling that I must stand up to it. As I tell my friend that I want to walk around, he tells me "no, sit down man". I would forget that I asked and would ask again after about 30 seconds. He would say no and at the same time this internal voice was telling me "NO!" I knew I had to stand up to this inner voice holding me back. Simultaneously, somehow it felt as though my friend was almost a extension of this inner voice.
Each time I asked if I could stand up, I could hear the anger in his voice as he asked me to sit down. It started off as "no man sit on the couch" and after a while escalated to " No man YOU need to sit down!" After he satme down on the couch, I noticed a knife that was on the table next to the bathroom door before we started tripping. When I sat down I noticed it had been moved to the table right in front of us. I began to think that I was angering him so much that he was going to kill me with the knife. The surprising thing is that I didnt get scared at all. Rather, I began to think that I was going to have to kill him before he killed me. I did not want to kill him but I needed to defend myself. I decide to stand up and walk around, forgetting I had asked 10 times already. He decides to grab me and forcefully sit me down, so I begin to resist, feeling as though simultaneously I am fighting the negative inner voice.
At this point, my friend begins to yell "No!" just as the inner force was telling me, so I begin to yell "YES!!" At the time if felt like I was having a profound spiritual battle within myself, like I was finally taking control from the negative inner voice. My friend is about 200lbs and Im almost half that so constraining me was easy for him. At this point I begin to black out. I remember closing my eyes and seeing an old woman's face scratching and melting away. I open my eyes and realize my friend is headbutting me pretty hard. I try getting out of his grasp til he finally lets me go. When he let me go, I hit my head on the corner of the table and slip into the bathroom. I trip and fall into the tub and hit my head on the ceramic tile. I felt like I could have stopped myself from falling, but I felt as though I had to let it all happen. After this point, I remember getting picked up out of the tub. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I was not wearing my jeans or underwear anymore and I was wearing an oversized purple shirt. I then remember I was layed down on the couch, wearing some sweatpants and the same shirt. After that, I do not remember anything. When he woke the next morning, I noticed he had bruises on his head and some scratches on his face as well. He askedme if I was ok and I said I was alright, so I went to get my clothes from the bathroom and I found they smelled like piss. So I either pissed myself or he pissed in the bathtub and my clothes soaked it all in. I put on my clothes having no choice, since I had to go home and when I looked in the mirror, I noticed my face looked like I had gotten the shit beat out of me. My head had bruises all over the place and I had pretty big gash on my forehead. After I went home and showered, I texted him asking what had happened, but he never texted me back.I called him several times and he never answered or called me back either. Since then, I have not spoken to him and to this day I dont remember what happened. He kind of just cut me off, but from the experience, I realized he was not much of a friend..
So I have a few questions about what had been going through my mind that night:
-Was it normal to feel as though I was losing my sanity? Does that ever happen to anyone else?
-My paranoia with the knife? Is that normal? Mentally healthy? Am I a danger to others/ myself?
-Should I reconsider my use of psychedelics for my sake/ the sake of others?
I was amazed by the first few hours of my trip, but I'm afraid of losing control and tipping into the brink of insanity. Possibly hurting others or myself. I would REALLY appreciate the help and advice of others (:
Thanks for reading guys Advice really appreciated! (:
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Sinopia
Red Wicca



Registered: 06/24/16
Posts: 12
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: 25-I Nbome Trip (I believe) / Should I continue my psychedelic usage? [Re: vebula]
#23503441 - 08/02/16 09:05 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've never been the paranoid type but some trips of mine end up having negative vibes. It might have just been the energy of the environment, the energy of your friend, your current state of mind, or something very deep that you haven't addressed. I like tripping by myself, though I always tell one good friend if I plan to. I let them know later on if I'm alright and that usually works for me. If you feel that you are a danger than I would trust your gut. You might also want to ask yourself why exactly you felt a need to fight the inner voice, and what that voice represented. Seems like the voice of reason, you were high as shit, freaking out, and kept trying to get up and go... where? Was the voice trying to keep you safe? Who knows better than yourself?
Edit; Also the friend that you decided to do this with seems very questionable. He sounds like he had some stuff to work out too, and your inner personalities just collided. Either he did something he's really ashamed of or you spooked him the hell off.
-------------------- Everything I post is part of a fictional storybook Always looking for interesting seeds, want to trade???
Edited by Sinopia (08/02/16 09:10 PM)
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vebula
Stranger

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 4
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: 25-I Nbome Trip (I believe) / Should I continue my psychedelic usage? [Re: Sinopia]
#23504639 - 08/03/16 07:31 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I remember the voice had a negative feel to it, and felt as if I had to stand up to it in a sense. When the trip was coming on, I do remember feeling anxious and afraid, but I had this feeling to just accept it and I would be ok, and I did and felt like I had figured out some kind of puzzle, I felt at peace after that. I did not feel like a voice of reason at all, it felt like some sort of inner antagonist I was standing up to
When I wanted to get up I didn't want to go anywhere in particular, I just wanted to walk around and find something to do. We had been sitting on the couch for a while, so I probably wanted to find something interesting to do. I didn't really want to go outside either tbh. I also remember having a feeling of losing my sanity while the trip was coming on. Does that ever happen to you? Is that normal? Thanks for the reply btw (:
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Sinopia
Red Wicca



Registered: 06/24/16
Posts: 12
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: 25-I Nbome Trip (I believe) / Should I continue my psychedelic usage? [Re: vebula]
#23505197 - 08/03/16 11:16 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Personally I always feel a little insane so nothing really changes. I've never touched Nbome (to my knowledge) and know very little about it so I can't tell you how I feel on it. I can tell you that with acid I never want to sit in one place. I have to get up and readjust my body every five minutes. I think that's all you wanted to stand up and do. You can feel a little claustrophobic, so if you have a window or screen door just look outside every time you feel the need to go somewhere (if you're uncomfortable going outside). Going outside is amazing, but you run the risk of being seen by people .
And about the sanity thing, could you describe it a little more? I know it's hard to put words to feeling but it might be important.
I suggest telling someone you really trust about your interest in psychedelics. It's important that you trust them. If they're a good friend and accept this, then ask them for a huge favor. Ask them to chaperone you for your next trip. It's a huuuuge favor and not everyone would be willing to do it, but if you find the right person to practically babysit you, you'll be able to explore what you are really trying to tell yourself about the voice.
-------------------- Everything I post is part of a fictional storybook Always looking for interesting seeds, want to trade???
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vebula
Stranger

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 4
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: 25-I Nbome Trip (I believe) / Should I continue my psychedelic usage? [Re: Sinopia]
#23505456 - 08/03/16 12:23 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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After an hour, hour and a half, I could feel it coming on and I could feel an energy rising and getting stronger. The only way I can describe it is wave-like, and as more time went on the waves were getting stronger and stronger and eventually I was going to get washed away. If felt like me getting washed away meant I was going to lose my sanity. I felt like I had to hold onto my sanity otherwise I was gonna get washed away into insanity. It felt like a brink I was going to tip over and possibly never come back from. I asked a friend if shes ever felt that before and she said she has. I was able to overcome it by accepting the situation and that insane feeling went away. If felt like if I had taken a larger dose, I def. would have gotten overwhelmed.
And yeah actually, I remember during the trip I felt like the room was a small box separating us from the outside. That could have triggered the thought loop I had? I tried getting up and he would tell me to sit down, which happened like 10-20 times and I remember I was paranoid thinking he was gonna kill me because he kept getting angry each time he told me to sit down. Plus the knife on the table did not help. I do remember it was on the other table prior to the trip though... or maybe not idk still not anything I want to be thinking about whilst tripping
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WishIwasACat
Stranger



Registered: 07/28/16
Posts: 21
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: 25-I Nbome Trip (I believe) / Should I continue my psychedelic usage? [Re: vebula]
#23507365 - 08/03/16 08:31 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hey, I recently had a pretty scary trip, I felt like I was going completely insane and wasn't in control at all, I couldn't even control what I was saying, I was blurting out some of my deepest secrets I wouldn't want anyone to know so I had to just remain silent for the rest of the trip, but looking back at it now, the most insane thing was me thinking I was going insane, I just kept repeating "am I crazy" "am I going crazy" (my mum actually is insane so its a legitimate worry of mine) and tripping gave me a sense of what insanity must feel like.
The paranoia is normal I think, the thing with the knife, I think in your mind you were very sane, a knife is a dangerous object and you knew that. In your tripped out state your logic and subconscious were probably fighting trying to make sense of the knife, you knew it was a dangerous object and while tripping we are disconnected from our logic...because your mind was so open due to the drugs your mind was just over stimulated.
If I were you I would take a nice long break and sort out your mind, write down your goals, write down your fears, be honest to yourself and you'll probably see that you aren't insane at all.
Peace.
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vebula
Stranger

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 4
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: 25-I Nbome Trip (I believe) / Should I continue my psychedelic usage? [Re: WishIwasACat]
#23510207 - 08/04/16 05:08 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sorry to hear about your mom, that really sucks to say the least. Aren't you afraid of your use of psychedelics knowing your mother is not mentally stable? I know LSD and psilocybin has been used to treat various mental illnesses, but I don't know about insanity. couldn't it play a factor in triggering a latent mental disorder?
Another question I had was, why did I black out? I've heard of reports where people black out on psychedelics and do some really crazy stuff. I don't think I did anything too bad, but I did black out. Could it have been from getting headbutted so much or hitting my head on the table? I didn't think it hurt THAT bad. I want to continue my adventures with psychs but def. not at the sake of injuring myself or others.
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WishIwasACat
Stranger



Registered: 07/28/16
Posts: 21
Loc: Australia
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: 25-I Nbome Trip (I believe) / Should I continue my psychedelic usage? [Re: vebula]
#23511251 - 08/04/16 10:54 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am afraid! But I was curious, and now that I've tried a few psychedelics and had not the best of times, I am done dipping my toes into those waters. I'm just lucky it only unlocked anxiety, not something more serious.
As for the blacking out, I have no idea, it could have been a number of things, sensory overload, the banging of your head, maybe it was just your body saying enough is enough. I'm not a medical professional so they are just some ideas I have.
Good luck with your future endeavours 
Peace.
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