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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 17 hours, 43 minutes
Re: not long term material [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #24573892 - 08/23/17 09:22 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
That will be quite a challenge little kitty. Ah... I get really fucking rambly. But I will try. Lemme think about that for a bit.


Yes I am female. A cis female.




Try to make it as succict as possible. Robotic even. Write with your logic, not with your emotions. Emtions cloud everything. Logic is clear and precise.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
Female User Gallery

Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: not long term material [Re: Patlal]
    #24593235 - 08/31/17 12:03 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

So I've calmed down and thought about it. And it has occurred to me the reason I snapped and the cause behind alot of my emotional distress is a lack of understanding. A lack of understanding for me by those in my life, an inability or a lack of desire to understand or be understanding.


It's something I grew up with.
Specifically misunderstanding.
And a harsh judgment about my character because of it. Caused me to cocoon all my feelings and lead to yet more misunderstandings.

So now that I'm trying to be more open with people who say they give a fuck about me and they still jump to false conclusions or don't try to give me the understanding I "deserve." it does more than piss me off.


I've dealt with that my entire life. It makes me feel isolated and alone. That not only is there no one in the world like me but also that there is no one that will understand me or even has the capability to be understanding with me. I've done that sort of thing with many people but it doesn't seem like anyone can do that for me. I dunno if it truly is because no one is built like me, or that I've just lucked out poorly, or that my perception is so clouded that I can't see the people who do give me that.

I'm confident that right now I don't really have anyone like that in my life at least. I feel my partner has only given me my ground because I've made it goddamn clear that anything less will be the end of us now.


Not just alone.
Forever alone.
Goes well beyond emotion.

I don't really feel like anyone can truly relate to me. Or wants to.

Don't blame them for not wanting to.... I don't want to...


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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OfflineRoflspammer
Strangest
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Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 1,901
Loc: New Hampshire
Last seen: 6 hours, 19 minutes
Re: not long term material [Re: Patlal]
    #24593714 - 08/31/17 04:18 PM (6 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
That will be quite a challenge little kitty. Ah... I get really fucking rambly. But I will try. Lemme think about that for a bit.


Yes I am female. A cis female.




Try to make it as succict as possible. Robotic even. Write with your logic, not with your emotions. Emtions cloud everything. Logic is clear and precise.




Emotions are logical. They evolved through the same darwinian mechanism than manifested in the human species as the brain. Don't dismiss them, they are the human psyche


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
Female User Gallery

Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: not long term material [Re: Roflspammer]
    #24811365 - 11/28/17 10:04 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

"I love you, you're perfect and beautiful inside and out. You just fuck up all the time and I hate you for it."


:confused2:




I was told I was ugly and stupid almost everyday as a child. I don't take compliments particularly well. I take criticism from people I care about even more poorly. I've worked really hard at controlling my negative reactions to that so that I can work on my problems. But what am I to do when every decision feels like the wrong one. On one hand I hurt someone I love. On the other hand I do something I know will ultimately hurt me.

The simplest solutions is just to end the relationship with that person but I'm running pretty fucking short on persons now.




A reoccurring problem is my lack of commitment. Not to people, actually historically commit myself to a fault were I all but sacrifice my identity for that person. I lack commitment to time. To doing things when I say I'll do them. I've recognized this fault and counter it with being very vague with my commitments. Soon and maybe are words I say more than fuck or shit. I've also acknowledged that that too is irritating to people because they take things I don't mean from them. I've taken strides to be better at promising an accurate (but lenient) timeframe and actually following through with it. This however has been made virtually impossible with my health issues. I cancelled so many times to my best friend that "I don't feel well" became unacceptable. Which was partly my fault in not explaining the seriousness or extent of my problems. Which I still hate doing. Naturally being the big fat stubborn fuck up I am I only began to try to explain it, explain how often I was in the doctor's or the hospital or laying in bed wondering if I should call an ambulance, after our relationship was pretty much over.

Shortly after he was diagnosed with cancer and is thankfully in remission now but I feel awful for not being there for him when he needed me.
Granted that being there would have included kicking his ass for smoking and boozing through treatment.




Anyway I guess that's the heart of the issue, why I made this thread. I seem decent enough with short term casual relationships but people get really annoyed with my personality over time. And the more negatively they react to my shitty character flaws the worse those flaws become. I've had a really difficult time thinking at all lately around or about certain people because I'm so terrified everything I say is wrong, that I'll receive harsh criticism. It's not that it makes me mad or insecure or something like what most people think when they hear someone say they don't take criticism. It doesn't bust my ego bubble. It makes me feel genuinely guilty that people put up with shitty parts of my personality.





Though I've also recognized a long time ago my lack of commitment to time isn't an inherently bad thing. It just doesn't mesh well with most people because we are such a time oriented society. And I understand it, it bothers me too when others do what I do. I'm considerate enough to commit to my commitments. When I say I'll be there I'll be there. Late probably if I don't feel my presence is important but I usually give a heads up too. And I'll be there unless I feel like I'm dying. But then that seems to be another problem. Pain tends not to make me a very fun person to be around.




Seems like I'll never have someone happy with me in any long term manner. And I seem incapable of being truly happy with anyone. Feel happy and content enough maybe but it seems to come at heavy costs of repressing who I am and thay nags at me. All I've ever wanted in my entire life is to be a good person. And I am. But I'm not. And I think that's what's all the more grating to people. A good person with really good and rare personality traits. Only with some really terrible and equally rare personality traits.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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OfflineDEEZEDBRAH
Stranger
Registered: 11/29/17
Posts: 110
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: not long term material [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #24814164 - 11/29/17 10:53 AM (6 years, 2 months ago)

IMHO i don't think monogamy is in our nature; male or female. I do believe there are few ascetic individuals who can live up to a higher standard for being. According to all religious text, the second you hold lust in your heart, you sinned; missed the mark. This again is not monogamy. Porn, strip clubs, sex toys, netflix and chill, fwbs, ons, fuck buddies, etc. are not monogamy. Then again, society is knocks polygamy where at the very least, people know what is up, and act accordingly. Society is more or less a serial monogamy. As in, TS experience; I like you one sec, you love me. I get bored and bang your sister, and then she gets bored and bangs my friend. And repeat only children get mixed in the pecking order of carnage.

What to do? Talk to lots of women. Flirt. Test the waters. See who you have chemistry with, and proceed. I've mostly spent time with short term flings. As I got older, I notice more women wanting to play house, and baby fever. I am simply not in that place in my life now. Maybe one day. I also prefer to date much younger. I like the prowl. I like journey and process of it all. The world can be pretty chaotic at times. When people are all in their delusional monogamy bubble (despite both their contradicting pasts) and wanting to bring children into the world, I just bert stare. I don't get it?

All paths lead to suffering. If you get the girl, you will lose her to the next guy or death. You will die. Life is marked by suffering. We can say it is nihilistic or cynical but, this is the reality of it all. We wont get out of this thing alive. The power is in free will to choose which path of suffering we take. Unlock the potentiality that we have by striving towards self actualizatio. Place our fears behind us to be the driving force behind our actions. You suffer in choosing but you suffer (arguably) even more in being indecisive since you cannot get that time back once it is lost/pissed away.

The question remains as to which path you choose to walk?


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Anonymous #1

Re: not long term material [Re: DEEZEDBRAH]
    #24815129 - 11/29/17 06:39 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Or you could just love someone


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OfflineDEEZEDBRAH
Stranger
Registered: 11/29/17
Posts: 110
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: not long term material [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #24815247 - 11/29/17 07:53 PM (6 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Or you could just love someone




Real talk, I've never loved a woman more then I love myself. (srs)

There is always someone thinner, hotter, younger. We live in this society that promotes cuckoldry, walking on FUCKING EGG SHELLS, and being the sort of lost testosterone male that urinates from the seated position. Stepping up is not in the cards nor does society promote it. Play it safe. Marry her. If you are a "real man" give her the ring despite absurd sexual history (linked sources for the consequences of female promiscuity/truth on sex, high kill count, and divorce).

I watched the Tv show Reign once. I vaguely remember it. Basically, a beautiful woman was sent over to be a Princess but, to acquire protection from England. A spy attempted to rape her (fucked up). Despite the spy being caught and the princess being safe, they were going to banish her because of her "potential" tainted blood.

I've read several Ian Flemming 007 books. The one lead female in From Russia With Love was among the ONLY WOMEN 007 NEVER SLEPT WITH. She was embarrassed about her kill count. 3 lol

The culture in the west pedals this gender neutral nonsense. Men are raising some other man's baby. It is ridiculous. The culture in the middle west is promoting stoning for promiscuity. IMHO both are absurd.

Man use to marry and allocate resources for access to sex. With bumble, tinder, and 'sloot gonna sloot' promo in society, there is little need for it. Furthermore, when married, a lot of women are "not in the mood." Cool story. I am single. I respect the fact that a woman is not in the mood but, some other girl is. Just saying. #next!

Love is absurd. Not an argument. The same "love" you speak of is being pedaled from one LTR to the next. I love you turns quickly into I hate you.

Despite the use of psychedelics, there is a lack of free thinking going on here. Marriage is not a necessity. Maslows hierarchy of needs for instance. One can acquire self actualization without said event.

To each their own. My purpose in life > following the beaten path in life. Maybe my perspective changes one day. It hasn't yet. Monogamy is a delusional. Its a construct to keep society orderly.

Drop the anonymous post. Lets talk.


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