|
Anonymous #1
|
Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip
#23482637 - 07/27/16 03:10 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
The following is a recounting of my experiences of a ((hopefully) false) revelation during three different LSD trips.
My first experience with this "revelation" happens during my very first LSD trip. My two friends and I each drop one tab at the park and soon we are tripping. Later during this trip one of my friends mentions something about a police car stopped at a red light near a corner of the park. I see the police car and freak out. I believe the police are after us. I consider running but feel helpless against the seemingly omnipotent police. I remain lying in the park with my friends and await our arrest.
While I wait I have this feeling of deja vu. I have never been arrested but it feels familiar. I "realize" I have been here before several times. I "realize" I am a drug addict who has been released from prison for the umpteenth time. The drugs have ruined my brain and corrupted my reality. My entire life has been a lie I created as a defense mechanism.
The police never arrive and I eventually forget about my "other life". Some other friends of mine meet us at the park and the rest of the trip go smoothly.
My next experience of this kind happens during my sixth LSD trip. I drop three tabs with my friends C, M, and W. My friend C drops three, M drops two, and W only smokes some weed (he has never done acid). W gets the munchies so we decide to head to a nearby liquor store. I become nervous as we approach the store and plan on waiting outside while my friend buys his snacks. We get there and my three friends enter the store. Suddenly, I decide being left outside alone is much worse than going inside with my friends. Big mistake. I enter and immediately feel completely out of place. I nervously walk around the store until I find my friend in line and stand next to him. I am tripping the fuck out.
I'm standing in line and feel like everybody knows. I feel sweat dripping down my face as I clamp my eyes shut. I believe I heard people saying "it's the acid", "he's tripping". I look at the cashier and believe he has a look of disappointment and slight disgust. I believe he said "You're tripping? It's not even funny. It's just embarrassing." I believe my friend W agreed with him, angry at me that I had made a fool of myself in public. I believe the cashier is an undercover DEA agent. Either that or someone involved in the underground drug industry. Whatever he is, I believe he has now sent people after us. My friends and I walk out of the store. A man with a raggedy beard walks closely past me and I believe he looks at me. I take this as a sign that the Feds or Drug Lords are following us. We start walking away from the store and I am terrible confused. I still believe someone is after us but I am not sure. Eventually I decide we are being followed and exclaim "I get it!". My friend W, probably finding my confusion very amusing, looks at me, smiles, and asks "Do you? Do you get it now?". I misinterpret this. I believe he is angry with me. I believe he is blaming me. I interpret this as "Do you get it now? You fucked up your brain on drugs! Now all our lives are ruined!". We arrive at my friend C's car so that my friend W can take a pill of ecstasy. This reinforces the idea that someone is after us. I believe my friend is taking the pill to hide the evidence.
We get to the park and sit at a table. I am still very confused. My friend hands me a paper and asks me if I want to write about it. Again, I misinterpret this as sarcasm. I believe he means something alomg the lines of "You fucked up your brain on drugs! You're a goddamn basketcase! But at least you get to write something 'trippy'." Again, I start to believe my entire life is a lie. I "realize" that I am in some room somewhere in some mental hospital and that everything is my imagination. I believe I am at the park with my friends because they pity me. They are only visiting me in a mental hospital and I'm imagining we are at the park. Eventually I snap out of this train of thought. However, the remainder of this trip involves me acting incredibly bizarre and obscene resulting in my friends holding me down and giving me some xanax.
My final experience of this kind happens during my seventh and final LSD trip. This time I only take one tab along with my friend M. We drop the tab, then about two hours later we meet up with some friends and smoke some weed. Again we go to the same liquor store. I thought I'd be able to handle it on just one tab but the weed completely threw me off the deep end. Again, I was standing in line. Sweating, I shut my eyes. Here come the voices. "Its the acid." "He's fucking tripping." I feel this sensation of urine and excrement filing my jeans, dripping out of my nose and mouth. Utter humiliation. I sense this feeling that my friend M is laughing at me incredulously, laughing at the fact that I can't wrap my stupid head around the idea that my life is a lie. I am in some room somewhere in some mental hospital imagining everything. Or that there is no existence in the first place. I am the only conscious being and everything is fake. I feel that at any moment all the walls in the store and my friend M is going to restrain and humiliate me. I feel he is going to yell at me "you fucked up your brain! Your life is a lie! Why can't you just get it?" in some sort of PSA fashion. This was my subconscious' way of punishing me. We exit the store and I begin telling my friend M I'm having the worse trip of my life. He spends time comforting me and eventually I calm down. Not completely, though. Throughout the trip I feel as if my reality is a lie.
Today is the day after and I am back to normal. However, I am still very afraid. Each of those times it's as if the LSD sobered me. It's as if when I'm not on LSD I'm living in a lie created by my subconscious. Every moment leads me to my destiny of taking LSD so that I sober up and realize I'm a nut somewhere and my life is my imagination.
What do you think? Just bad trips? Mental instability? Am I possibly prone to psychosis or something? Will I ever be able to take acid again? Has anyone experienced anything similar?
Thanks to all input.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23482686 - 07/27/16 03:27 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Your experiences do not sound fun at all. Perhaps, one should consider not doing it for a while.
Second thoughts, because human nature likes to explore - even tough environments. Consider not doing it in public. Consider not smoking during. Consider quiet environment at home with trusted other.
Some folks do get dark experiences, and you have to work through them. Some people bring on dark experiences through environment and mindset. Some are prone, psychologically, to delusions of persecution. Tough to say in your case what the "cause is".
I know we can learn a lot through even our darkest times.
I believe I am a spiritual being (though prone to giving in to hedonistic pleasures), and I believe that darkness lurks about. I have found that being centered on God or Christ can do a lot to turn darkness into light. Essentially, you feed your brain the thoughts you want to have - meditate on high things - such as God - and there is no room for darkness.
I can't speak much more to this topic with little information I have. The fears, such as the policia, are real, and you are right to be aware of your surroundings to protect your freedom. That said, if you live in light, you will have nothing to fear. Sure, you can be jailed and what not, but they cannot take your soul or take your mind where you do not allow.
IF you must go out on the town (read my first pieces of experience), do not bring anything illegal with you or be with folks who are doing illegal things. Hold your shit together in public, act reasonable, and you should not have much too fear.
I have struggled, and occasionally, I still do, with "hearing" others talk about me. Trusted others have told me that this is not true. While I do hear them, I often wonder if I am projecting my insecurities as if others were saying them? At the end of the day, even if people are saying anything about you, you rarely see those people anyway so who gives a fuck? 
Weed does make folks paranoid - despite many loving it here and using it while tripping. Something to consider.
|
WeAreMushroom
Ask Me About Bigfoot



Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 1,405
Loc: Frying Like An Eagle
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23482692 - 07/27/16 03:30 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Hey man, I can honestly say I relate to what you're experiencing, and it's totally normal.
I've had some very similar experiences on LSD, and some even less coherent ones than the trips you've described. (Check out the trip reports in my signature for some long-winded explanations of the bizarre reality-bending things that have happened to me while tripping.)
I too, hear voices saying things like, "Acid, acid, he's on acid!" "LSD! He's got it in his pockets!" It's happened to me now when I take LSD, ever since I took a tab on a Greyhound bus on two days of no sleep. Nearing the end of the trip, I was hearing whispers coming from the passengers all around me about how they were watching me and how I was on acid.
I've also experienced the paranoid feeling that I'm being followed by the FBI or CIA, and that it's because of the LSD. You described "feeling a deja vu sensation," and misinterpreting the benign actions of your friends as negative or derogatory.
I once took so much LSD that I thought I was God and had to be sent away to a psychiatric unit for two weeks. However, I've since made a full recovery, and I enjoy LSD more than ever.
The advice I have for you is: What you're experiencing is normal. LSD makes you experience a merry-go-round of possible alternate realities, or potential alternative interpretations of what's happening in THIS reality. Sometimes your brain is moving so fast with a paranoid concept that before you can think logically, your brain has you convinced that the old man next to you is an FBI agent out to get you.
Keep in mind that LSD isn't bad for you You're not frying your brain. It's a non-toxic hallucinogenic experience that's relatively safe. Other people have experienced the same things you have and they're not bad or an indication that you have any sort of mental illness. It's just what happens when you take a bunch of LSD sometimes.
Don't worry. you're not alone.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: WeAreMushroom]
#23483607 - 07/27/16 07:58 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Thanks for the reply guys. They've really helped ease my mind
|
WeAreMushroom
Ask Me About Bigfoot



Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 1,405
Loc: Frying Like An Eagle
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23483765 - 07/27/16 08:43 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
If you've only had the opportunity to take LSD 7 times, you'll have a lot of pleasant experiences in the future when you get your dose and setting right. Consider tripping by yourself or in circumstances that you can more easily control.
Fun stuff on LSD is REALLY fun, but not fun stuff is REALLY NOT fun. That'a the problem with it. You have to set up 12-24 hours of time where you have lots of things to do and experience, and all your responsibilities out of the way.
You'll get the hang of it. Learning to control an LSD experience is like learning to ride a bike. Once you learn, you never forget.
|
nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,564
Loc: Utah
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23483793 - 07/27/16 08:55 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
This all sounds normal to me. Everything you experienced is very normal and common. Just remember that it's not the truth. People aren't really out to get you or anything, you're just under the influence of a psychedelic.
This is a big reason why setting matters so much. Anyone on enough of a psychedelic would be super paranoid going out in public, and worry that everyone knows, etc. So experienced psychonauts tend to avoid those kinds of situations in exchange for more controlled environments.
Like tripping at home in a dimly lit room on a comfy bed. There's no cashiers to worry about, no friends to worry about, nothing to worry about at all. That's a nice feeling because then if you get paranoid, you can just think to yourself "it's alright. Everything is fine." And you know this is true because you're in the comfort and safety of your own home.
Try to improve the setting of your trips. Try to make is as comfortable and controlled as possible.
Also, never trip with people who fuck with you while you're tripping.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: nooneman]
#23484242 - 07/27/16 11:54 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
nooneman said: This all sounds normal to me. Everything you experienced is very normal and common. Just remember that it's not the truth. People aren't really out to get you or anything, you're just under the influence of a psychedelic.
This is a big reason why setting matters so much. Anyone on enough of a psychedelic would be super paranoid going out in public, and worry that everyone knows, etc. So experienced psychonauts tend to avoid those kinds of situations in exchange for more controlled environments.
Like tripping at home in a dimly lit room on a comfy bed. There's no cashiers to worry about, no friends to worry about, nothing to worry about at all. That's a nice feeling because then if you get paranoid, you can just think to yourself "it's alright. Everything is fine." And you know this is true because you're in the comfort and safety of your own home.
Try to improve the setting of your trips. Try to make is as comfortable and controlled as possible.
Also, never trip with people who fuck with you while you're tripping.
Lol I don't think my friend intentionally tried to fuck with me. He just has never done acid, didn't know what was going through my mind. Anyway, thanks for the advice!
|
sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23491604 - 07/30/16 07:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
You probably experienced a strong spotlight effect. You are the center of your own world and there probably wasn't as much attention on you as you thought there was. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201111/the-spotlight-effect
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: sudly]
#23497044 - 07/31/16 09:07 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Interesting read. Thanks!
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23497048 - 07/31/16 09:08 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Thanks for the replies. I wanted to also ask, do you think psychedelics are just not for me? A few people have told me they think I'm just not right for it, but I don't know.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23497661 - 08/01/16 06:06 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
I like the old saying, "come as you are".
You will grow into "you" - don't worry about how others do it. If you like it, do it, if you don't, don't.
Be more cautious about your set and setting before you jump again.
Don't force it.
|
nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,564
Loc: Utah
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: Anonymous #2]
#23498363 - 08/01/16 01:14 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Questioning Reality After Difficult LSD Trip [Re: nooneman]
#23521721 - 08/08/16 11:11 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
nooneman said:
Good song haha
|
|