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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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How to subdue a Swan?
#23476053 - 07/25/16 04:52 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Is there a humane way to do so? A friend is having some real issues with a group of them and the aggressive little buggers just won't leave him alone.
Could one feed them a mild sedative or something to stop their constant harassment?
WWJD?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Swan stew.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Point a shotgun into the sky above their heads and fire
If that doesn't scare them away nothing will
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Sanguin3
Optimist

Registered: 10/19/13
Posts: 2,273
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? *DELETED* [Re: Jokeshopbeard] 1
#23476061 - 07/25/16 04:53 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Sanguin3
Reason for deletion: .
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Foie Gras that bitch
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Take a foam bat to their heads. Is your friend a pussy or is he the king of his own castle?
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Asante]
#23476085 - 07/25/16 04:57 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Run into the flock waving your arms above your head screaming. What's the worst that could happen?
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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brandonshmandon
Caucasian!



Registered: 07/07/15
Posts: 205
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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BB gun
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Patlal
You ask too many questions


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 8 minutes
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Leave the swan alone OP.
1. They are beautiful 2. You property value goes up just for having one on it cause it's a fucking swan.
But like every animal, if you corner it and don't respond to it's warning signs, it'll get agrgessive.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Patlal] 1
#23476118 - 07/25/16 05:05 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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start him off with some xan bars
and then finish him off with an edible and a dog water bowl of Jack
He'll probably be chillin' really hard after that
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Patlal
You ask too many questions


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Niffla]
#23476127 - 07/25/16 05:07 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Dangle a piece of bread in front of it every day until it gets comfortable enough to eat in your hand and then CRACK!!!! Snap that long neck like you would twist a wet dishcloth.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Patlal]
#23476140 - 07/25/16 05:10 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm passing on the warning my father gave me: a swan can allegedly flap its wing so hard that it breaks your arm.
Quora says: yes they can but very unlikely
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Patlal
You ask too many questions


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Asante]
#23476146 - 07/25/16 05:12 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said: I'm passing on the warning my father gave me: a swan can allegedly flap its wing so hard that it breaks your arm.
Yeah that's not true unless you're a flimsy 5 year old.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Patlal] 4
#23476150 - 07/25/16 05:12 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Patlal
You ask too many questions


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Niffla] 1
#23476157 - 07/25/16 05:16 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said:

Racist
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Saunterer
Caged Elf


Registered: 06/29/16
Posts: 215
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Niffla]
#23476158 - 07/25/16 05:16 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I've seen one bite a guy on the neck while swimming by their nest and draw a fair bit of blood. They are likely nesting there if they are aggressive. Best to leave them be. They are somewhat endangered too so harassing/killing them is likely very illegal.
Edited by Saunterer (07/25/16 05:17 PM)
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Patlal
You ask too many questions


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Saunterer]
#23476174 - 07/25/16 05:20 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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A crow can draw blood if you piss it off enough. Just like a hamster.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Niffla] 1
#23476176 - 07/25/16 05:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said:

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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Patlal] 1
#23476186 - 07/25/16 05:23 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said:
Quote:
Niffla said:

Racist
You people make me laugh. You're worried about some isolated incident involving a white swan when studies show that 90% of all black swans are victims of black swan on black swan crime.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
Edited by Niffla (07/25/16 05:24 PM)
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trekie
Metal man


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 11,085
Loc: Larger cities
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Swans are dicks fuck them and geese too. Kill the head swan the other will obey you after.
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Patlal]
#23476196 - 07/25/16 05:25 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: A crow can draw blood if you piss it off enough. Just like a hamster.
Crow?
What did you do to your hamster to piss it off?
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Patlal
You ask too many questions


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Sun King]
#23476202 - 07/25/16 05:28 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sun King said:
Quote:
Patlal said: A crow can draw blood if you piss it off enough. Just like a hamster.
Crow?
What did you do to your hamster to piss it off?
Some details are better left unmentioned
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Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Patlal]
#23476237 - 07/25/16 05:42 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm guessing your friend doesn't want to go after them with a shovel.
What he could do is build up a fire near the reeds by the pond/lake they're loitering at.
BTW, that rule about not killing swans only pertains to swans on the thames. So, if it's not on that river, fair fucking game.
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Patlal]
#23476258 - 07/25/16 05:49 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Stand up to them or they will attack at will. They will defer to a bigger swan so either big hat or wrap a sheet over you flare it when confronted. Once you establish dominance you will be fine.....kids can have trouble.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Sanguin3]
#23476270 - 07/25/16 05:54 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sanguin3 said: What do you mean by they won't leave him alone? Are they breaking into his house and harassing him?

That's a hilarious mental image
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 16 hours, 8 minutes
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:
Sanguin3 said: What do you mean by they won't leave him alone? Are they breaking into his house and harassing him?

That's a hilarious mental image
Well he's not harrassing him.
The problem he has is more like this:
***In order to protect the swan's identity it has been changed to another species***
That's why he wants to subdue it.
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Edited by Patlal (07/25/16 06:09 PM)
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: How to subdue a Swan? [Re: Patlal]
#23476422 - 07/25/16 06:30 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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My pal is a keen fisherman. He's moved recently and is having major troubles with them at his new local lake. We were chatting about it at his housewarming this weekend, and I thought 'I bet someone on the Shroomery would know what to do..'
Appreciate all the responses. So far Nif's suggestion of xanax followed by some edibles and a drink sounds good, but I'm not sure how humane it is. Maybe they'd like it? I've certainly known a dog that used to seem to enjoy getting stoned before.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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DustBunny


Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 10,404
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They aren't even on his property, but at a lake he goes to? The only viable humane option is letting them be and find a new lake, or figure out how to not aggravate them and don't go near their nest. Swans often live in the same place for years, they probably aren't going anywhere.
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