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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz
    #23475486 - 07/25/16 01:11 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I'm very busy today so I'm going to make this post as short and sweet as I possibly can because I'm dying for some feedback and would love to hear from others who've experienced what I'm going through and what they did to get through it.

    So about two years ago during the year 2014 I started using drugs ranging from 25i to LSD to shrooms to molly all about 5 times each throughout the course of about anywhere from 5-6 months except for 25i about 15+ times (Like an idiot I know but I wasn't aware @ the time). Anyways, continued using and abusing and basically what I would call binging these drugs to the point where I basically had that whacked out and just overall brain tiredness feeling and just wasn't getting the same effect I once was when I first started using the drugs. So I put them all to rest excluding my one love Mary Jane just hoping that soon time will heal all the over stimed brain and I will be back to normal feeling fine and happy again..... Welp here I'am two years later and I'm in the exact same boat. All these horrible feelings came on bassically when i quit using the drugs and never subsided BUT have noticeably gotten better over time a bit.

    First it was anxiety of all sorts just scary thoughts and social anxety to the point of not even being able to look at someone in the eyes for more than a couple seconds. Then came the dumb headed feeling whereas before I used to be able to do simple tasks without even thinking now I have to think so hard to even tie a ladder down to the top of a work van. After that came the personalization and the random sharp pains thorughout my brain like I've fried it perm and Its fucked for life. The world just feels different now and all I think about everyday is how my life was before the trips and if it will ever be the same or at least as happy and fun as it was before the trips/drugs. It's like its this never ending cycle of waking up everyday hoping everything will be back to normal then its not and I'm in these depressed thoughts and horrible feelings of anxiety its all just horrible.

    A little bit about me thought before all these trips just so you guys can grasp what I'm talking about. I was the highschool jock was on the varsity bball team got all the girls had all the confidence in the world and no matter what thought I was always the best or smartest person in the room even if I knew I wasn't because I thought I could be. I was happy everyday and weed made my life even more amazing and now its something I can't even really enjoy anymore without feeling the feelings I felt from the tripping and feeling dumb and paranoid and just not all there. Idk its very scary and is getting to the point of me on a suicidal brink. I've thought about killing myself a few times just because I feel like I'll never be able to live normally again even though I know damn well I'll never go through with it.

    Now I have done some research and explored the web for others going through what I'am and I've heard of 25i alone and basically any other drugs causing these problems through prolonged use and I have heard of people recovering through being sober for up to 6months-2years and recover fully. But its a very few amount of people and it just gives me no hope that I will ever recover. I was hoping some of you on shroomery could give me some feedback if you've experienced these problems and what you did to overcome them? Was life better or worse after and what did you learn from it?

*****By the way***** I have picked up a few positive things from all the tripping though. I think about things differently especially when im not stoned and I feel as if I think in a way nobody else does. I also have a sense of caring more and appreciate much more now then I ever did but besides that its a shitshow. SOME of the brain problems I have like the dumb feeling like when I go to move something quickly I have to be slower because I might fuck up now when I wouldn't of before the tripping and drug abuse. But that was something that I noticed while tripping and it never went away? Also slight HPPD trails and wall movement slightly. I feel like tripping was a huge cause to this. Haven't smoked bud today. Help.


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX]
    #23475520 - 07/25/16 01:26 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Never have partaken in 2ci that I'm aware of.  Smoking bud isn't going to reset your imagination or brain.  Sometimes you need to just distance yourself from what's going on within.  Some people can do that with this or that aid, but mostly you need to quiet what's causing you internal problems.


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InvisibleAcidStrippedMind
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX]
    #23475531 - 07/25/16 01:31 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

:dontspillme:

You fried yourself bro.

Seriously though, you're probably focusing on it too much. You quit weed too? If not then definitely do that. Otherwise, just try to accept it and roll with it. Can't see many other options. I can't see how you'd be having such long term effects from such few drugs tho...


--------------------


I am the storm. I am the wonder.


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: AcidStrippedMind]
    #23475539 - 07/25/16 01:33 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Tbh with you I think its because i never actually quit using drugs all together? maybe thats it. I used xanax a bit for anxiety and tripped 2 more times since then because my friend told me about "resetting" luckily i tripped on L tho not that 25i shit. Just stupid though and that was a year ago anyways.. Maybe weed needs to go..


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: AcidStrippedMind] * 1
    #23475542 - 07/25/16 01:35 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

It's like you took the drug that you cannot untake.  Learning something about vulnerability that doesn't go away.

There are reasons why people have gotten strength from eastern religions after taking very strong mind shattering drugs!

You weren't going to get into heaven this life anyways.  Now you've learned a bit about your own personal hell.  Just make your life as stable and as strong as possible!


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: Morel Guy]
    #23475557 - 07/25/16 01:40 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

i remember when i had some pretty traumatic things in life happen while i was using psychedelics alot, and i took a break from anything that alters my consciousness and i thought i went stupid or slow or something.
no turns out i was just depressed which has causing cognitive sluggishness.

but anyways i started bodybuilding and quickly gained my confidence and stopped overthinking about what might be wrong with me and now im functioning at a much more productive rate than i ever have been and have been feeling very confident that i can literally take on any task.

its very important that you just focus your energy on developing a craft because it will give you purpose that overshadows your fears of what might be wrong with you. its all in your head you are pretty much creating this reality in my opinion.

Atm i smoke weed everyday and dose heavy psychedelics once every 1 or 2 months now.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
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Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


Edited by SleepyE (07/25/16 01:42 PM)


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: Morel Guy]
    #23475566 - 07/25/16 01:43 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Good advice


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: SleepyE]
    #23475570 - 07/25/16 01:44 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Happy to hear that and could def be possible. It's just that those problems seem so real ya know. Especially when i first got done tripping. The problems were so noticable i couldn't even talk to my girlfriends family without losing my mind and sweating especially while being high. crazy feelings man


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX] * 1
    #23475579 - 07/25/16 01:46 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I sorta developed a fantasy from drug use that life would gain some sort of permanent groove or flow.  Life is a river and she flows alright but there are some pretty damn big rocks.

The people that I've met that seem to flow tend to be dicks.  They tend to feed and mooch of everyone and never really share their gift.

I'd rather live a horrible life and give good times to others than take away peoples good times for a wonderful life.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX]
    #23475581 - 07/25/16 01:47 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

you'll get over it, im pretty sure its all psychosomatic. never doubt your minds ability to make problems that aren't there. you just have to have will power and mental strength.


--------------------
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Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


Edited by SleepyE (07/25/16 01:48 PM)


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: Morel Guy]
    #23475584 - 07/25/16 01:48 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Wdym by seem to flow? interesting. you don't?


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX]
    #23475588 - 07/25/16 01:50 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

iLLeXXXX said:
Wdym by seem to flow? interesting. you don't?





There is a flowing and there are some crashing rapids.  It's not much of a perfect zen dream or scenery.  Sometimes it's easy to live those on the right trips.


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX]
    #23475590 - 07/25/16 01:51 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Also crazy random thought: When I was tripping I always seemed to think that social skills and being the most socially skilled person in the room was important and vital and just awesome in general. I remember feelings i had where i thought i could talk to anyone and have an incredible intellectual convo while tripping or flirt with any bitch i wanted to. Those feelings didnt last though clearly.


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX]
    #23475604 - 07/25/16 01:57 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

That is ego


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InvisibleComebackKid
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX] * 1
    #23475607 - 07/25/16 01:59 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I think you're thinking about it way too much thus manifesting a problem that doesn't exist. I would suggest re-connecting yourself with the things that you loved to do before taking drugs. Start occupying your mind with positive things that you like to do. Spend time with friends and family who love you for you.
Drugs can alter your social perceptions for sure. I used to binge on MDMA (a gram or two in a night) and found that this really fucked me up socially in the long term. Psychs actually helped me realize how self destructive this behavior was and I stopped doing this. I had to cut myself off from certain friends who were negative influences on my life. I reconnected with old friends who liked doing things like playing basketball and going bowling. I started hanging out with my family and enjoying their company. I foul that eventually I stopped feeling "stupid" and started to excel at lost hobbies and work. Gained my self confidence back. Started becoming interested in other peoples lives and striking up good conversation with new faces.

It all gets better man just start making the right choices and start living a life that you can be proud of and you want to share with the people you love.


--------------------
:amanita2: Substrate surface conditions / Monotub prep and care :sporedrop:

Look around you... Everything you see exists inside the mind.
Consciousness, the awareness that is experiencing this mind,
is peering in from outside the universe.

Our individual experiences are all part of the universe's experience of itself


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: Morel Guy]
    #23475608 - 07/25/16 01:59 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

So is it possible i had an ego death? Largest trip was 6 gs of cubensis looped for 3 hours but was actually enjoyable. Thought time was meaningless and nothing mattered but what i was doing in the moment.


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: ComebackKid]
    #23475613 - 07/25/16 02:01 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Thx man glad to hear you got better great advice and could very well be the problem. Gonna start today and post weekly updates on this thread : Today : drinking gallon of water 30 min meditation and first day no pot. Also doing an hour work out.


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX]
    #23475614 - 07/25/16 02:01 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Also any supps that help?


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: iLLeXXXX]
    #23475623 - 07/25/16 02:03 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

The ego only really dies once.  If your one a drug it's that you know why you experience beyond the ego realm...it's not a real death or dying but has a close nature to it.

The real ego loss is what your not enjoying.  Your ego has learned to gain power from drug use and is somewhat dependent.  Even non-psychically addictive drugs can have a psychological dependence.  I think the spirit of it never really goes away.  It just gets stronger or weaker with continued use.  It's a love, an attachment.  A way of life and outlook on reality for every one who's experienced.  Lot's of people that haven't used drugs will also share some semblance.


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OfflineiLLeXXXX
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Re: My life B&A Drugs/Psychs Problems now faced. Feedback plz [Re: Morel Guy]
    #23475646 - 07/25/16 02:11 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

So what're you saying exactly?


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