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Offlinech1ck3n.s0up
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Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
Loc: Hunting Fungi
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!?
    #23459429 - 07/20/16 11:59 AM (7 years, 7 months ago)

I have no designs on my friend's wife, but I must objectively say that she is gorgeous.

Friend and I went out to lunch. I was expecting talk about sports and landscaping, but to my surprise, he opened up to me about his love life.

He bemoaned the fact that they bump uglies only about five times per year.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? He's got a ravishing wife, and a practically lifeless sex life.

I can't really blame his wife. He has let himself go a bit, sorta paunchy, and smokes a lot of cigarettes.

WHY he would let himself go when he has a wife like that is beyond me. Shit, if I had that to come home to I'd have obliques.

His wife has most definitely NOT let herself go. She is in her mid-30's, and looks to be 23.

I don't understand how this could be.

:confused:


--------------------

"Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station

"Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.

Edited by ch1ck3n.s0up (07/21/16 07:17 PM)

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Offlinetheonlysun81
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Registered: 05/11/12
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Re: Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #23463012 - 07/21/16 03:43 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

post pictures of your friends wife. if your friend i so ugly how did she end up with him


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OfflineSmokingGlass
Stranger

Registered: 07/21/16
Posts: 6
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!? [Re: theonlysun81]
    #23463405 - 07/21/16 05:46 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

She must be holding back on him for some strange reason ..Sometimes people get married for convince.

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Invisiblesudly
Quasar Praiser


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 11,069
Re: Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!? [Re: SmokingGlass]
    #23463501 - 07/21/16 06:12 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)



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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.


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InvisiblePatrickKn
I'm a teapot


Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,614
Re: Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!? [Re: sudly]
    #23463592 - 07/21/16 06:38 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

If you don't use it, you lose it.

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Offlinech1ck3n.s0up
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Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
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Re: Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!? [Re: theonlysun81]
    #23463715 - 07/21/16 07:20 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

theonlysun81 said:
if your friend i so ugly how did she end up with him




He's a handsome guy (in my totally non-gay opinion :nyan: ). 

They met in high school, and married young. They're 15 years in now. I'm sure that he was in much better shape then.


--------------------

"Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station

"Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.

Edited by ch1ck3n.s0up (07/21/16 07:22 PM)

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Offlinetheonlysun81
Long Time Lurker, Recent Member
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Registered: 05/11/12
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Re: Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #23463883 - 07/21/16 08:21 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
Quote:

theonlysun81 said:
if your friend i so ugly how did she end up with him




He's a handsome guy (in my totally non-gay opinion :nyan: ). 

They met in high school, and married young. They're 15 years in now. I'm sure that he was in much better shape then.





oh god i am never getting married


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InvisibleAime
Stranger
Female

Registered: 07/19/16
Posts: 3
Re: Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #23463906 - 07/21/16 08:32 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

It could be a number of reasons. When you have been married that long, life tends to get in the way and you sometimes forget how important it is to make time for it.Or maybe they just need to spice things up.

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Offlinech1ck3n.s0up
Troubled Loner
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Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
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Re: Married Friend: Beautiful Wife, No Sex!? [Re: Aime]
    #23466079 - 07/22/16 01:39 PM (7 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Aime said:
It could be a number of reasons. When you have been married that long, life tends to get in the way and you sometimes forget how important it is to make time for it.Or maybe they just need to spice things up.



Thanks, Amy. Welcome to Teh Shroomery.

Any instructions on how to spice things up?

I found this place that has the best home-made paprika. Would that help?


--------------------

"Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station

"Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.

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