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trendal
J♠



Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Helping People Help You 5
#23449297 - 07/17/16 09:36 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Why oh why, can't we all see the light? Help others to help you, yourself, and I think we would all get along
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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saythatagain



Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 980
Loc: Spaceship Earth
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: trendal]
#23449345 - 07/17/16 09:50 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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you silly hippie
-------------------- Trade List
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Can I get a hypothetical example? How do you help others to help you?
Do you mean that helping others helps you? As in; help others and you will benefit personally?
If so I find that to be true.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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trendal
J♠



Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: Tmethyl]
#23449397 - 07/17/16 10:10 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Do you mean that helping others helps you? As in; help others and you will benefit personally?
Yes! That's it pretty much exactly!
If I want an easier time of things...I better make sure everyone around me is also having an easier time
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: trendal]
#23449442 - 07/17/16 10:24 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Need help with anything Trendal?  If not, than you're quite awesome and appreciated and loved. 
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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trendal
J♠



Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: Tmethyl]
#23449473 - 07/17/16 10:33 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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No, I'm just peachy 
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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idiotek


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,728
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: trendal] 1
#23449932 - 07/17/16 01:38 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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It has definitely helped me to help other people in the past. I intend to help others in the future. You have to be wise about who you chose to help, and how, but it can come around many fold. The idea is to help people purely out of the joy it gives you to do so, not for the hopes that you'll get something in return from it.
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trendal
J♠



Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: idiotek]
#23450392 - 07/17/16 04:11 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Isn't that the same thing? If you feel good for doing it, and do it because it makes you feel good, then aren't you getting something back from it?
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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shadyy
aHhahhHA


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: trendal]
#23450469 - 07/17/16 04:44 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I use favors and compliments to manipulate people.
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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idiotek


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,728
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: trendal]
#23450516 - 07/17/16 05:03 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
trendal said: Isn't that the same thing? If you feel good for doing it, and do it because it makes you feel good, then aren't you getting something back from it?
yep. i suppose you're right. i should help people more often.
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chicksgrowtoo


Registered: 12/01/13
Posts: 3,422
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: idiotek]
#23450720 - 07/17/16 06:26 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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I tried to help someone help themselves the other day. A girl was looking for school supplies for her kids and I told her where to get free ones. Her response was cool, can you call them and set everything up for me (I don't know this girl at all)... Idk if it was the horrible, stressful day I had or what but I was kind of a bitch and said somethings along the lines of... no, I gave you the info, be an adult and help yourself... You really do have to choose who you help or you end up doing a ton of unappreciated things for people who don't deserve it.... Still feel bad for that one though, I could've worded that better
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Viol
sassy frassy lassie


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 136
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Quote:
chicksgrowtoo said: I told her where to get free ones. Her response was cool, can you call them and set everything up for me (I don't know this girl at all)... Idk if it was the horrible, stressful day I had or what but I was kind of a bitch and said somethings along the lines of... no, I gave you the info, be an adult and help yourself... You really do have to choose who you help or you end up doing a ton of unappreciated things for people who don't deserve it.... Still feel bad for that one though, I could've worded that better 
You gave her the information she asked for, so in no way were you being a bitch by refusing to let her take advantage of you. Way too many people refuse to take responsibility for their lives and personal situations, and guess what? That's their tough shit, not yours. You did more than enough, hon.
I do enjoy helping others freely, asking nothing in return, but more than anything, I'm hoping that whatever knowledge or insight I share with them, whatever it is that they take from me, hopefully that empowers them and will somehow be passed on to someone else, thus creating a ripple effect of positivity.
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Ezuma
Gontish Wizard



Registered: 12/02/13
Posts: 8,423
Loc: Roke
Last seen: 10 months, 21 days
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: shadyy]
#23451635 - 07/18/16 12:22 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
i hate liz said: I use favors and compliments to manipulate people.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: Ezuma]
#23451643 - 07/18/16 12:31 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Are we talking;
Helping others to help you (receive help)?
or
Helping others to help you (give help)?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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idiotek


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,728
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The opportunity to help other people can present itself in myriads of ways. Helping someone find a place on a map by pointing to it directly, or telling them the general location so that they can find it for themselves.. sometimes there's a fine line.
I like to give people hints and help finding cool places to hike, but I don't like to spoil the fact that there's always a splendid overlook or waterfall, so I omit that detail and give them directions to a trail head or something. I try to at least drop enough hints so that they know it's "worth the hassle".
A fellow Shroomerite was having a really, really difficult, dark time in his life and I bought him a train ticket out of the place where he was stuck (literally stuck in the middle of nowhere having been ejected from a passenger train for being drunk). I helped him help himself. I didn't make him get up and go to the bus station at 5 AM when it was supposed to leave. I just kept giving him the help he needed in the form of moral support until the present, a few months down the road, and he's working multiple jobs to support his kid, and doing much better.
In the end, did I get anything out of it? Nothing I wouldn't be willing to give up and still be willing to help the guy. He's a good person. I got a good feeling out of helping him and that's all I needed. Did I do the helping for the good feeling or was it just an unintended consequence?
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: idiotek]
#23451970 - 07/18/16 06:52 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Seeing other people happy/well makes me happy and helping others is a massive boost to my self worth overall - but there are times when it can spread you to thin and one of the things I have learned is that if a person is unwilling to help themselves or change, you can't do that for them, and trying to help is probably going to be very frustrating at best and horrifically sad at worst.
I also realized, more recently that you have to take care of your own needs first and make sure you are well in order to effectively help other people, especially a friend or someone you know in a bad spot - if they're in a rut, they're going to have to be the one to dig themselves out - you can give them whatever you can to help, a shovel, encouragement, moral support - but it's so important to make sure you are happy and healthy in your own life, misery loves company and sometimes it can feel cold to keep moving and living while someone you care about is suffering, but it's so important to remain a positive and functional force and influence in the life of someone you want to help and sometimes that means you've got to step back and focus on yourself.
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: shadyy]
#23452177 - 07/18/16 08:19 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
trendal said: Why oh why, can't we all see the light? Help others to help you, yourself, and I think we would all get along 
"See yourself in others, then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do?
He who seeks happiness, by hurting those who seek happiness, will never find happiness.
For your brother is like you, he wants to be happy. Never harm him, and when you leave this life you too will find happiness."
-Gautama Buddha
Quote:
i hate liz said: I use favors and compliments to manipulate people.
I have known numerous people like this throughout my life, their Machiavellian behavior spawns greed, obsession with power, hate and malice, and people like this only care about themselves, truly deplorable behavior.
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Apostle
Philanthropist



Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 24 days
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: trendal] 1
#23452237 - 07/18/16 08:50 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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That requires interacting with others and i can barely tolerate myself.
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Helping People Help You [Re: Apostle]
#23452567 - 07/18/16 11:13 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Apostle said: That requires interacting with others and i can barely tolerate myself.
I. Know. Them. Feels. Man.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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