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OnlineManianFHS
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May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. * 1
    #23442569 - 07/15/16 12:01 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

About 15 years ago, I was hanging with my two best friends, Matt and Scott. Scott was married. We were hanging outside at a doughnut shop when Matt came up to me really upset calling Scott a fucking idiot. I asked what happened? He said that moments ago, Scott told him that he slept with another girl. Matt was super upset, saying that Scott was ruining the good life he created. I told him to drop it, that it was none of our business, and that I wanted no part of any of it, and he did - it died there.

14 years later, last year, I am with Scott and his wife; I am at their place helping their daughter fix her broken phone. Suddenly they start talking about how they don't like Matt (now married) and his wife. I dont say anything and try to change the subject, but they bring it back to Matt. They ask me, "do you want to know why we dont like them?" Being one to stay out of other peoples rifts, I tell them, 'Actually no, I dont." They proceed to tell me anyways. Scotts wife was with Matts wife in a park with their kids, saying that she was losing weight. Matts wife then brings up that Matt told her Scott had cheated, 14 years ago. They got into a verbal argument, and havent spoken since. In front of everyone, she asks me if I ever knew anything about that, to which I replied, No... even though I remembered exactly that night 15 years ago.

Fastforward to a month or so ago. My wife is pregnant and having a baby shower. We are friends with everyone. So we invite everyone. Scotts wife decides not to come because Matts wife will be there, and vice versa. Other friends closely connected to Scott's wife suddenly are no shows as well. My wife who had nothing to do with it is upset about the whole thing. We specifically asked not to be involved and kind of feel right in the middle of it all, like it was about their drama, and not our baby being born.

So today it came to a head.

[All over Text]
Scott and I are both at our jobs, were having a back and forth because he hates someone in our FF league, and him and his wife are dropping out. He asked that we kick this person, but I refused to do so without a democratic vote, as really the only thing this guy did wrong was piss off scott and his wife by talking trash. Scott tells me that I dont have his back, and that he feels nobody does. This upsets me as I actually have done a lot for him and his family recently. So I tell him I am upset that his rift with Matt caused everyone to miss my wifes baby shower, and that I wanted to stay out of that drama. He says that he was not going to make his wife uncomfortable by being around Matts wife, and says that I did not support him with Matts situation either.

This upsets me more, and I text him, saying that 15 years ago, Matt came up to me and told me that Scott had cheated on his wife. And that I wanted no part of it then, and I want no part of it now. Then silence. Then a phone call.

Scott calls me and is out of his mind angry, he is talking so fast that he isnt taking breaths. He begins accusing me of conspiring against him, and talking about all of this behind his back. He wont even let me get a word in, and when I can, I tell him that I told nobody anything, and I told Bill I didnt want to be involved, just like I told him and his wife a few months ago. I tried telling him that I didnt care what happened, that it was none of my business, but he insisted that I thought he had cheated on his wife this whole time, and that thats all anybody ever thought about. He starts saying that none of us truly have his best interest at heart. I again say to him that I never wanted any part of it from the getgo. He then says that I should have told him immediately when Matt told me, that thats what a true friend would have done. We end the conversation on bad terms. He stops responding to my texts.

Later today a mutual friend calls me, explaining why his wife wasnt able to show up to my wifes baby shower. Scott and his wife apparently called him and are now spreading the news of our text conversation. I dont even know what to do at this point. I dont have time to try and reconcile any of this, and am wondering how I could have made such a monumental mistake of bringing the past up like that.

I know this is a long, and probably boring read. But this is a group of good friends, and I am not sure WTF to do about it. I am thinking just let things settle down. I havent told my wife anything yet, because she is 12 days from delivery, and does not need this shit on her plate.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlineviktor
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH] * 3
    #23442579 - 07/15/16 12:07 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

:thefuckisthis:


--------------------
"They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH]
    #23442580 - 07/15/16 12:07 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
I havent told my wife anything yet, because she is 12 days from delivery, and does not need this shit on her plate.



Really good call, as long as you know she isn't likely to find out by other means - it might well be less stressful for her if it comes from you than some unexpected source.

Wish I had better advice, but if I were you I would stay well out of this shit show. Anyone who would do what you've described your mates doing would instantly lose their place in my inner circle and be relegated to the outer realms. Best friends don't do that kinda shit to each other IMO.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisiblePlain
You are the universe
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Registered: 05/30/16
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH] * 1
    #23442586 - 07/15/16 12:13 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Your friends sound like they never grew up :cookiemonster:

Stay completely out of it from this point on if its brought up brush it off and change the subject.

People LOVE drama dont feed into anything they throw at you and you will be the better person for it.


--------------------
"You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle."

- Eckhart Tolle

“Everybody is ‘you’. Everybody is ‘I’. That’s our name. We all share that.”

- Alan Watts

"Cosmic apotheosis wears off quicker than Salvia"

- Rick Sanchez (voice of Justin Roiland)


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OnlineManianFHS
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23442593 - 07/15/16 12:17 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

mick said:
I havent told my wife anything yet, because she is 12 days from delivery, and does not need this shit on her plate.



Really good call, as long as you know she isn't likely to find out by other means - it might well be less stressful for her if it comes from you than some unexpected source.

Wish I had better advice, but if I were you I would stay well out of this shit show. Anyone who would do what you've described your mates doing would instantly lose their place in my inner circle and be relegated to the outer realms. Best friends don't do that kinda shit to each other IMO.




I am concerned that she will find out by someone else, but just hope that I can explain the situation to her correctly when it happens, and why I wanted to keep it from her right now.

I am concerned that I went too far saying that to Scott; I did it out of situational emotions, not because it needed to be said. It was a mistake for sure; I should have taken that to the grave with me. But I will consider your advice to just let emotions calm down a bit. Scott is probably the biggest grudgeholder I have ever met, so if we dont reconcile all of this soon, I will imagine he and his family have turned against us.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OnlineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Registered: 07/06/04
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: Plain]
    #23442595 - 07/15/16 12:18 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Plain said:
Stay completely out of it from this point on if its brought up brush it off and change the subject.

People LOVE drama dont feed into anything they throw at you and you will be the better person for it.




thats 2 for staying away, thanks.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH]
    #23442639 - 07/15/16 12:48 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

1-888-456-2879

Call this number. The people on the other line will be able to set you up with a man who will sort this all out. 10-15 minutes with him and everything will be 100% better.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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OfflineGreat Scott
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH] * 5
    #23442704 - 07/15/16 01:34 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

:notyou:


--------------------
:thumbup: :thumbdown:


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OnlineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Registered: 07/06/04
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: Supachopped719]
    #23442732 - 07/15/16 01:43 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

maury wouldnt fix shit. need dr phil on up in herrrrrrrrr


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinerickpsfuckyou
listening to Mozzy
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Registered: 11/26/05
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH]
    #23442987 - 07/15/16 05:56 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Your friends sound hella lame


--------------------


Edited by rickpsfuckyou (07/15/16 05:56 AM)


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH]
    #23443071 - 07/15/16 06:53 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Congrats on the baby dude! You don't have time for this shit. Tell them both that if you have to. Just keep your attention to your family and if they are as good of friends as friends of 15 years should be, they will suck it the fuck up and figure it out. Honest opinion though? Scott will lie to his wife to the point of removing you guys from his life. Good luck, I hope everything goes well with your little one!


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OnlineManianFHS
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23443229 - 07/15/16 08:24 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Thanks man, we are totally stoked on all of this baby stuff :smile:


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlineqman
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH]
    #23443271 - 07/15/16 08:41 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Matt and his wife are pieces of shit, Scott is also an asshole. You now need to ask yourself why you were ever friends with people like this?


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH] * 1
    #23443599 - 07/15/16 10:46 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Your male friends are acting more like women than the women are. Drama queens. I honestly don't see where you did anything wrong put into that impossible situation. I learned a long time ago that I don't have to apologize for something I didn't say...That is true here. Just keep taking the high road even though it is a lonely one.:sunny::peace:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: ManianFH]
    #23443627 - 07/15/16 10:56 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I dunno :shrug: sounds like a bunch of retarded drama. I can't really make sense of what is going on or why everyone is so huffy about all of this.

Honestly sounds like something that should've been hashed out 15 years ago one way or another.

Stuff like this makes me glad I don't have a big social circle. Other than I've found people are generally untrustworthy I dislike the drama that usually accompanies people. You always seem to get drug into something you shouldn't have to be getting drug into. Who has time for all that?

I'd say fuck 'em all. They don't want to celebrate with you and your wife, and instead want to drag this ridiculous shit back out of the dark corner it's been in for the past 15 years, let them do it with each other. Focus on your own family and fuck anyone who wants to distract you from that.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Offlinemusiclover420
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #23443825 - 07/15/16 12:28 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Just out of curiosity, is Scott denying cheating? Is he mad because he thinks you two were lying about that to people? Or is he just trying to cover his own ass with the misses? Seems pretty ridiculous to get caught up on it 15 years later though.


--------------------
Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky

You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by

I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me

I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free



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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: musiclover420] * 1
    #23443842 - 07/15/16 12:36 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I read the whole thing and have no idea what's going on. Are these people actually adults?


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: Plain]
    #23443847 - 07/15/16 12:37 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Plain said:
Your friends sound like they never grew up :cookiemonster:

Stay completely out of it from this point on if its brought up brush it off and change the subject.

People LOVE drama dont feed into anything they throw at you and you will be the better person for it.




--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] * 1
    #23443851 - 07/15/16 12:39 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

They might be over 18/21, they're definitely not adults though :rofl:. That's a long fucking time to hold a grudge over something so ridiculous. Worse than a bunch of teenage girls.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineTheMovement
faeirie princess in training
I'm a teapot


Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
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Re: May have lost some close friends today. Not sure what to do. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #23443922 - 07/15/16 01:11 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

15 years ago, LOL.  Sounds like both their marriages are on the ropes.


--------------------
Utwiddle.net

In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one.

BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT

Join the Anarchy Camp!  Down with Oppression!!


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