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viktor
psychotechnician



Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23511834 - 08/05/16 07:05 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Shamanism is about figuring it out for yourself.
If you need a guru then you're just a little bitch.
Don't listen to anyone, not even me.
-------------------- "They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 3 days
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23516980 - 08/06/16 08:20 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
thesupersoap33 said: I've been searching for months! Even cold calling therapists in other States. I did get on the maps waiting list this way but that is far away in time in my mind and may be too large an expense. I'mwould really like to find someone experienced with trauma... Physical and emotional, dissociation, etc. I really don't care if its mushrooms or weed or cactus that is used. Would also like o know if this is the appropriate place to discuss what's been happening throughout my experimenting with microdosing. I've been really struggling with my thinking and blocking painful things out and staying in scary loops of thought. So if you know anything or have some experience that would be excellent!!
In real life I am a psychotherapist specializing in hypnotherapy, licensed and board certified practitioner since the 80s. I routinely treat traumas, but obviously I do not feed paying clients psychedelics. Giving or recommending that someone imbibe any substance without a medical or naturopathic license is a criminal offense, not to mention possession and distribution of unregulated, Schedule I substances. So what kind of reputable therapist do you think you're going to find who will risk loss of license and career, and gain jail time to accommodate your agenda? Are you willing to pay a therapist's fee per hour times 6 or 8 hours even IF you find someone who IS willing to risk all?
Trauma resolution has NOTHING to do with "blocking painful things." Psychedelic psychotherapy has been done illicitly in the past, but is still a good way off in the future, legally. Moreover, superconscious states are difficult to direct since they tend to move beyond the egoic analytic and recollective levels of mind at moderate to high doses. It is very difficult to keep a subject focused on psychodynamics in the unconscious when the tendency is to expand beyond the psychology of lower chakra states (e.g., instinctual, sexual, & social dynamics) wherein traumas are lodged rather than in transpersonal states (i.e., a "spiritual emergency" as Dr. Stan Grof describes). If you are truly in need of trauma resolution, I highly recommend that you seek out a 5-Path® trained hypnotherapist and ask if [s]he has much experience with trauma resolution. http://www.5-path.com
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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thesupersoap33
curious george



Registered: 06/28/16
Posts: 338
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
#23517099 - 08/06/16 09:10 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Maaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn,.....
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LRG
Supernaut

Registered: 04/04/16
Posts: 871
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23517313 - 08/06/16 10:44 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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You should surround yourself with people who love you OP. Not a Shaman. The power of a Shaman pales in comparison to love and the strength of the human spirit.
-------------------- "I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” - Gandalf The Grey. "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm HAMMERED DRUNK!" - Cal Naughton Jr. AKA The Magic Man. Abracadabra homes! "Each tear is a drop of poison released." - Anonymous "Could it be you're afraid of what your friends might say if they knew you believe in God above? They should realize before they criticize that God is the only way to Love."
Edited by LRG (08/06/16 10:44 PM)
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thesupersoap33
curious george



Registered: 06/28/16
Posts: 338
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: LRG]
#23518798 - 08/07/16 12:36 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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*nods*
I try to. I shut down automatically. I don't have family anymore. Ever since I came out about the abuse, they all disappeared. Not to mention, they all started having mental problems of their own. Then I looked to friends and they seem to be going through similar circumstances and I just don't see the reprieve anywhere. I believe that's why I shut down. I don't see hope or safety of "feeling feelings" so I just isolate and that has become dangerous. It's PTSD, I repeat the same day over and over. No matter how I try to break routine, it's the same thing, but in reality, I know that it doesn't have to be. Brain lock. I'm now afraid of quitting my job because that has become unbearable. I am college educated and I do the dumbest shit in the world. Everything sucks to me. I did have a catharsis on my last dose though. I really don't know if or how it works, I just walked out of the shower and was immediately triggered by the carpet the darkness and not being fully clothed and felt the presence of someone in the room out to get me and fell into crying and screaming for thirty minutes or so. Then some shaking, more crying, then I guess I was wore out. I felt like it didn't even happen an hour or so later. I know it had to do with my abuse, but I have no way of really understanding if my mind is unwilling to go there 95% of the time. It's very hard not being connected to feelings and intuition and mind for such a long time.
And about the hypnotherapy, I tried EMDR with some success. I talked to a guy that did hypno. I've done CBT and many other modalities. Some people have risked their licensure I'm very sure. Finding them or someone who knows them is another question. I'm sure most counselors wouldn't attempt to lose their job over anyone and I wouldn't expect them to just to help me work through my trauma. It would be their decision.
And thank you for suggesting people that love and care about me. I don't feel it lately. I used to feel safe about six years ago, now I just feel like so many have moved on with their lives and I've become very resentful at my own stuckness and have gone into extremes of fear remembering being in lockdown in a mental ward for accusing my father of molesting me and my mother for covering for him to my HUGE disadvantage for years. That place was terrifying for me. On the inside I felt utterly abandoned in the world and had to play it cool. I've always had trouble letting the real me out due to not trusting people. My mind seems to jump to the conclusion, "this person is up a shit creek too" and instead of compassion, my mind goes into fight or flight trying desperately to think my way out of something that I never really get out of. I am extremely small and young and hurt and scared on the inside. It's not something that I make it easy to see.
Thanks again for the posts. They mean a lot right now.
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bigdoodie
it does not matter


Registered: 06/24/16
Posts: 238
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23536283 - 08/12/16 09:36 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
thesupersoap33 said: How can I find a good trip sitter then? I live in the southeast US and would be willing to drive. Would like someone who understands PTSD and how psychedelics can really put a person into some really intense feelings.
any form of depression comes from living in the past, and anxiety is fear of the future. we will not be fulfilled as long as we are dependent of each other, we have to become self reliant, we dont need someone to tell us anything, we already have the answers.
Edited by bigdoodie (08/13/16 06:03 AM)
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StuckInShanghai
part-timer

Registered: 07/04/16
Posts: 9
Last seen: 7 years, 30 days
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: Eclipse3130]
#23539230 - 08/13/16 10:44 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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An ayahuasca retreat in my opinion has much more value than a mushroom or dmt trip in your backyard. The effect of the ayahuasca isn't the main reason. The idea of leaving the standard 9 to 5 routine and going on a pilgrimage is what makes things like aya and iboga retreats more significant. It takes you out of that thought process.
It would be quite bizarre going to work in the day then that night having a powerful trip, while thinking 'did I leave the coffee pot on?'
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23540195 - 08/14/16 09:08 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
And thank you for suggesting people that love and care about me. I don't feel it lately. I used to feel safe about six years ago, now I just feel like so many have moved on with their lives and I've become very resentful at my own stuckness and have gone into extremes of fear remembering being in lockdown in a mental ward for accusing my father of molesting me and my mother for covering for him to my HUGE disadvantage for years. That place was terrifying for me. On the inside I felt utterly abandoned in the world and had to play it cool. I've always had trouble letting the real me out due to not trusting people. My mind seems to jump to the conclusion, "this person is up a shit creek too" and instead of compassion, my mind goes into fight or flight trying desperately to think my way out of something that I never really get out of. I am extremely small and young and hurt and scared on the inside. It's not something that I make it easy to see.
I know your sense of urgency. I also have gone through a phase I was feeling desperate to get 'psychedelic healing' and would get and read most of Grof's books. But I soon found that in reality EVEN if it was available, it costs an arm and a leg, and knowing what I do about Grof and some of his followers now I wouldn't trust the process. Nor am I into shamans, or any who take it upon themselves to be a 'therapist' for you. Having said all that, I am not saying that route hasn't helped people. I have seen on video individuals who have suffered terrible trauma after being raped, and only found relief after MDMA therapy. Also those who are terminally ill finding psychological healing from going to therapists and using magic mushrooms. Good for them. But the reality for us is that unless your on some kind of research 'study' the chances of getting it are very slim, and IF it becomes legal it will be seriously expensive and only those well off will be able to have it. This is why I am all for ALL people having the rightful freedom to pick and eat psychedelics! As long as all people are denied this freedom any so-called therapy is phony, because much psychic disease, and physical is being caused by this oppressive system we are in
You have had terrible trauma caused by abuse by your own father, and mum?
Have you talked to a counselor about this? Preferably a person centred counsellor? IE allowing yourself to express all these complex feelings with someone you can trust, at least not to divilge with others what you share with them
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thesupersoap33
curious george



Registered: 06/28/16
Posts: 338
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: zzripz]
#23540715 - 08/14/16 12:25 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've spoken to therapists for the last ten years trying to get it out. In retrospect, I has been helpful to a point of routine maintenance of this face I keep on for everyone including myself. Every time I nearly had a breakthrough in session, like after my father died of cancer or in the midst of a terrible sexually drunk relationship, the therapist would tell me to "calm down". My father used to say it and my mother and it worked on me really well. The last thing I need to do is calm down when getting in touch with my feelings. In my feelings, the rape (however many times it happened) is still going on and needs to be released, or the anger and sadness and fear needs to be released. I hate therapy now. Yes, there are therapists that probably are supportive of these feelings out there. In my experience, it makes them uncomfortable and they don't know what to do or they get scared if I start crying really loud and shaking.
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thesupersoap33
curious george



Registered: 06/28/16
Posts: 338
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23540737 - 08/14/16 12:32 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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and I did get to talk to someone holding the study on MDMA in Colorado, and I believe I have been put on a waitlist and my inclusion in the study depends on me passing a medical screening that may happen in the next few months. I passed the pre-screening, which included me having non-treatable PTSD and a diagnosis from a professional. I have not dabbled in MDMA a lot because the come-down was not worth the experience, which was really revealing and entirely depressing to hear about. My abandonment comes to the surface and I feel too afraid to express that sort of pain and fear, esp. at a show! MDMA is intense and the amphetamine high is very scary for me to deal with alone or with people because all of a sudden I am a stranger to myself and feel incapable of communicating how I feel. the psychobabble might call that a complete regression into the state of a dissociating child. It's terrifying.
I don't live in Colorado, so figuring out the logistics on staying there for six months is going to take some work and some sacrifice and honestly, I don't know if six sessions will be enough to expel how much I have going on inside of me. It is a shot, though.
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23541338 - 08/14/16 04:03 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
thesupersoap33 said: I've spoken to therapists for the last ten years trying to get it out. In retrospect, I has been helpful to a point of routine maintenance of this face I keep on for everyone including myself. Every time I nearly had a breakthrough in session, like after my father died of cancer or in the midst of a terrible sexually drunk relationship, the therapist would tell me to "calm down". My father used to say it and my mother and it worked on me really well. The last thing I need to do is calm down when getting in touch with my feelings. In my feelings, the rape (however many times it happened) is still going on and needs to be released, or the anger and sadness and fear needs to be released. I hate therapy now. Yes, there are therapists that probably are supportive of these feelings out there. In my experience, it makes them uncomfortable and they don't know what to do or they get scared if I start crying really loud and shaking.
there is a BIG difference between a 'therapist' and a person centred counselor. The latter would--if good--not tell you to 'calm down'. it is all about encouraging you to feel how your feeling
understand that I am not saying person centred counseling (PCC) is the answer for you. I am trying to be realistic in the society we are all under, where psychedelics are criminalized etc. I am rather saying that I feel with such a trauma as child abuse from one's parents, and all the painful complex feelings usually following that, I sense you really need to be with another person to express how you feel in a safe environment. Certainly NOT with a power-freak opinionated 'therapist', but someone who will really listen and not judge you telling you to calm down etc
I really recommend you to look for a PCC. Also to express how you feel in a journal. Just give what your feelings freedom to express. Also whilst waiting for a session with a PCC (in our country we would get a session on the national health service, though the wait can be 8 months) you could do the journal, and also contact free online counseling help on telephone, and online and here of course, and share how you are feeling
I have just found such a possible place: Our purpose is to reach out and offer hope to child abuse survivors It can be incredibly healing to find others who are going through what you are!
As for psychedelics. I would recommend neither 'heroic doses' nor micro doses, but IF eg magic mushrooms , eg 8-10 dried ones, and allow yourself to do whatever you want to do so that you will find ecstatic release
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thesupersoap33
curious george



Registered: 06/28/16
Posts: 338
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: zzripz]
#23541347 - 08/14/16 04:06 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Who is grof?
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thesupersoap33
curious george



Registered: 06/28/16
Posts: 338
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23542553 - 08/14/16 11:35 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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You're from Manchester! I fucking love oasis... Can cover about forty of their songs on acoustic.
I've been in support groups. At times they have been helpful and I'm probably going to go back. I cried a lot in there. Hearing other peoples stories and sometimes the detached fucked up way they would tell them brought me to my knees. I would be in a rage of tears and would feel better after. I would be angry and sad for them and myself. I'll look for a therapist. Free ones in the states tend to be sub par sometimes.
Everyone I've unloaded on believes or seems to believe whatever they believe. Its terrifying not to know what to do not to mention tell people I'm treating myself with psychedelics. It makes me think its bogus as well. But its like I read on reddit from someone trying to do the same... A bad trip doesn't come close to how devastating abuse can be to the psyche.
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
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Re: how to find a shaman that uses psychedelics??? [Re: thesupersoap33]
#23543319 - 08/15/16 09:36 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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It must be truly awful because as a child all you can do is trust those big giants around you. When they abuse that trust it is awful and must make you feel you cannot trust anyone.
It is crap that a culture that DRIVES people mad then charges them to even have counseling. And of course makes BILLIONS from pushing them psychiatric drugs based a lies!!
So you love Oasis? I don't live that far from their family home
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