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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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Ego death.
#23425064 - 07/08/16 10:23 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Ive worked towards obtaining this the past handful of years. Tonight it happened. Im still trying to breathe
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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Breathing. Is that what we're really all doing?
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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Mike4aco
Soy el pinche guey



Registered: 11/28/15
Posts: 3,811
Loc: This third dimension
Last seen: 1 day, 10 hours
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Ahhhh such beautiful words i am reading. I hope you had an amazing time becoming one with everything! !!!!!
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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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I cant even begin to fragmentalize this. I died. Like hospital trip sirens and lights i can remember it all
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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So what now is the question
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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Time dilation omfg
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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Mike4aco
Soy el pinche guey



Registered: 11/28/15
Posts: 3,811
Loc: This third dimension
Last seen: 1 day, 10 hours
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You are on a drug. That drug is very powerful. There is nothing you can do about it.
Enjoy your trip to the edges of the universe
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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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Im fine now. I literally died last night guys. Idfk how to process it but ive been aiming for ego death with meditation and experimentation and hadnt unlocked it until tonight.
I literally remember hearing echoing sirens roaring in my head seeing the ER room and i was dying. I didnt have a split fucing second to think about family or anything. I surrendered and let go. Here i am. Picking back up the pieces of my collective conciousness that has been broken indeed for the first time tonight.
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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It was so real. I had thoughts of suicide popping up. I was locked in my room. I literally had to coax myself down after i came to.
I wasnt sure if id still be in the ER or in my room upon my return
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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AkashicExplorer
Dimensional Jumper



Registered: 09/12/13
Posts: 912
Last seen: 4 days, 21 hours
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Awesome dude!!!!
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The 87 gram MushZilla BEAST
And it just obliterated the uttermost crap out from me. Love, Bliss, Laughter and Enlightenment!
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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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First for me. I guess we'll see how i write the pages from here. I spun poi for 2 hours straight too. Discovered and learning spinning on different planes at the same time. Some crazy shit. I have a video id really love to share but dunno how 2 upload
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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AkashicExplorer
Dimensional Jumper



Registered: 09/12/13
Posts: 912
Last seen: 4 days, 21 hours
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I have solved this in the past:
1- Plug your phone so it is charging. 2- Airplane mode: ON. 3- Start the voice recorder app. 4- Place it near you, but shut off the screen.
Trip and describe when you feel like it whats going on.
Might be late for you to do this haha, maybe you wont even manage to get that done in your phone since you are already tripping haha.
Good vibes man!
--------------------
The 87 gram MushZilla BEAST
And it just obliterated the uttermost crap out from me. Love, Bliss, Laughter and Enlightenment!
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Ulyssies
Suburban Shaman

Registered: 01/08/13
Posts: 179
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Wait you had an ego death, or you hallucinated that you were dieing? Typically ego death is associated with having no reference-points or ideas of self. If you felt like you were dieing that would imply you still knew you were a human capable of death. Still sounds like an intense time either way.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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OP it sounds like you had a psychotic break. Ego death
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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afrogus
hombre



Registered: 01/23/11
Posts: 914
Loc: Cali
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
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As you describe it OP, sounds like a classic NDE. Powerful stuff.
-------------------- "Leave no turn unstoned":)
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Eclipse3130
Servant of the Fungi



Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 6,221
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 hour, 40 minutes
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Re: Ego death. [Re: afrogus]
#23426071 - 07/09/16 09:56 AM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
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Still living off the joy of my breakthrough 2 years ago this month, the day is with me every waking moment of my life, blessed with wisdom and full of love and light. Had no sense of self, convinced myself I had died because I could not believe anything I was perceiving to be true, I literally had no thoughts of how to be, I had to give up and let it be, and I became it all. I was in a reality which I could only describe as Heaven; a total state of transcendental Nirvana. There was nothing to experience rather than the wisdom of just Being. Came back reborn still growing into the person I need to be, on my long journey! Thank you DMT!
What exactly did you take? It sounds like LSD
Edited by Eclipse3130 (07/09/16 10:08 AM)
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new2shroomzz
Envelope pusher



Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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It was Ego Death. I watched everything be stripped of me and my mind was reassembled and reset from scratch. It was beautiful and blissful with a pinch of horrific when i died. Quite the timeless realm that was too. Minutes seemed like hours. Achieved with 3 strong lsd blotters and 6 years of meditation and preparation
-------------------- "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson
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fractaloctopus
.mittens.


Registered: 01/11/14
Posts: 434
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Ego death (a terrible term I think it should be ego dissolution to avoid such misinterpretations) doesn't mean a death experience. Although there are typically experiences of dying during ego death, this is one: just the ego itself trying desperately to not "die" forcing you to try to save yourself (and more importantly the ego) and two: not the end of the ego death experience, but just the beginning.
Ego death means the "death" of the ego which in this case means the part of the psyche that tells you that you are a unique and separate thing from everything around you. When it occurs, "you" cease to be. "You" no longer exist. There is only a singular experience of everything in the universe.
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AuroraBorealis88
Stranger


Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 5,871
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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Quote:
fractaloctopus said: Ego death (a terrible term I think it should be ego dissolution to avoid such misinterpretations) doesn't mean a death experience. Although there are typically experiences of dying during ego death, this is one: just the ego itself trying desperately to not "die" forcing you to try to save yourself (and more importantly the ego) and two: not the end of the ego death experience, but just the beginning.
Ego death means the "death" of the ego which in this case means the part of the psyche that tells you that you are a unique and separate thing from everything around you. When it occurs, "you" cease to be. "You" no longer exist. There is only a singular experience of everything in the universe.
I think ego death is a fine term because it's Leary's theory that after the ego dies the "new one is born" and on my first trip when I got ego death i really did feel born again.
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JForce
Stranger

Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 53
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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What died? What didn't die?
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Aldebaran
Psilo-Scribe



Registered: 11/26/09
Posts: 1,323
Loc: Altered States of Europe
Last seen: 10 hours, 9 minutes
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Quote:
Wait you had an ego death, or you hallucinated that you were dieing?
I'd agree with the fractaloctopus on that one. In fact there's a similar comment in another thread:
Quote:
fractaloctopus wrote: I think that most people use the term "ego death" because when it happens, your ego tries to save itself by convincing you that you're dying. Needless to say it can be an utterly terrifying experience for many people.
I think the term "ego death" makes more sense when you are using it like this to mean the "ego dissolution" occurring during an experience that feels like a death trip of some sort, the kind of "I literally died" trip that the OP talks about. This is also the kind of ego death that Grof talks about - if I search for "ego death" within Leary's The Psychedelic Experience I get zero matches, surprisingly; he uses the term 'ego loss' in that particular work. This is from Grof:
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While only a small step separates us from the experience of radical liberation, we have a sense of all-pervading anxiety and impending catastrophe of enormous proportions. The impression of imminent doom can be very convincing and overwhelming. The predominant feeling is that we are losing all that we know and that we are. At the same time, we have no idea what is on the other side, or even if there is anything there at all. This fear is the reason that at this stage many people desperately resist the process if they can. As a result, they can remain psychologically stuck in this problematic territory for an indefinite period of time.
The encounter with the ego death is a stage of the spiritual journey when we might need much encouragement and psychological support. When we succeed in overcoming the metaphysical fear associated with this important juncture and decide to let things happen, we experience total annihilation on all imaginable levels. It involves physical destruction, emotional disaster, intellectual and philosophical defeat, ultimate moral failure, and even spiritual damnation. During this experience, all reference points, everything that is important and meaningful in our life, seems to be mercilessly destroyed.

If you get the "ego dissolution" without necessarily getting the harsh, dramatic kind of death-trip experience (perhaps because you have learned not to fear what's happening and are able to surrender to it more easily) then "ego loss" is maybe a slightly better term; more spiritual, less delusional.
I've also had "death trips" with delusions of being dead that didn't necessarily have any ego dissolution involved, that was just the vibe of the trip. Also you can black out completely without getting the mind-expanding "singular experience of everything in the universe" type of deal which is the core of the ego death / ego loss experience (otherwise forget the psychedelics, it would be easier with vodka).
Quote:
OP it sounds like you had a psychotic break. Ego death LOL
Well it's just a label for a particular type of classic, psychedelic dissociative experience. And there is a fair bit of psychosis settling in as delusions at that kind of dose, which means you can easily experience it as a vision of God, alien contact, the matrix and so on, once you "come back" to yourself. In that sense the "breakthrough" of the trip can be a psychotic breakthrough as much as a spiritual one, but it's based on something real that is happening to your brain:
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Decreased blood flow in the brain's main transit hubs (default mode network) Decreased integrity of key brain networks Collapsed rhythmic structure of cortical activity hyper-excitable prediction units causes impetuous inference normally distinct brain networks become 'one' Network stability becomes fleeting
Jforce asks:
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What died? What didn't die?
Pay attention at the back! Actually that does remind me that for all the flowery hippyish talk of being "at one with the universe" these trips can be quite nasty when you start to realize that you are basically going to have to die inside the trip, i.e have your day-to-day consciousness shut down on you as you drown within the visuals and become part of some kind of gigantic oceanic universal conscious presence that draws you into itself, submerging your personality, shutting down your internal dialogue and sense of self, before bringing you back to your senses in a state of complete wonderment. I tried to describe it a little bit in this post without referring explicitly to ego death, a phrase which is often more trouble than it's worth if you are just trying to describe your trip!
Back to the OP again:
Quote:
my mind was reassembled and reset from scratch. It was beautiful and blissful with a pinch of horrific when i died
Well yes, although you have to be careful they don't install Windows 10 while your mind is being reset 
-------------------- I wrote that, but I meant something else
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