Home | Community | Message Board

Sporeworks
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   PhytoExtractum Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]
Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture
    #23408074 - 07/03/16 06:55 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Say a friend offers to pay for dinner...do I go all out and buy what I want, which is a pricey entree and expensive drinks, or should I kind of "keep it simple," on account of it being their $$$?

I was just out to dinner, and I found myself looking at the prices of things (because I knew someone else was paying).

When it comes to things like this (gifts, if you will), do you pay attention to the dollar value, or is it just more like, OK, this is a gift [wipes hands clean]?

Is there such thing as taking advantage? Maybe a line you shouldn't cross??

Like, OK, well I want the steak, but maybe I'll just settle for the chicken parm....but I don't want the chicken parm.

I want the steak, I'd pay for the steak. But I'm not paying...

What about the drinks, do I go for the pricey/good stuff, or to I take into consideration the fact that it's not my money...they're treating....

I mean, they said it's they're treat, so can't I get what I want and not feel guilty??

Then ya find yourself wondering if they're tipping a decent amount.


We have all of these rules and borders...and they're rarely the same from person to person.

Do I tip if I'm picking up? Really, they're just packaging it vs. putting it on a plate, but who does the packaging?

Should I be tipping them?? It's probably an inconvenience to a degree, but I happen to be driving to you. Can't we throw that into the equation??


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleKush_Zombie
smug piece of shit
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/22/14
Posts: 4,793
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy] * 1
    #23408145 - 07/03/16 07:18 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I'd get what you want but be like "Hey, would it be ok if I got the steak?" and go off of their reaction. Be grateful, it starts becoming a problem when you stop appreciating what the person is doing and start using that person.

I'd also pitch in on the tip.

It sounds like they're just being a friend and doing what friends do. It shouldn't be a "I'm driving you so you owe me this." kind of thing. It should just be acknowledged that one human being is doing a kind and thoughtful thing for another human being. Take them out to dinner next time and don't worry about what they get, be prepared to order them the most expensive thing on the menu because you offered.

Repaying them back with kindness immediately erases previous thoughts of "They ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, he's clearly taking advantage of me." which I doubt were there to begin with.


--------------------
How to get started in bulk:
Presto 23-Quart Pressure Cooker
BOD's Simple as FUCK Still Air Box
PastyWhyte's Easy Agar Tek
Munchauzen's Cultivation Video Series
How EvilMushroom666 Prepares His Grains (I use jars with Synthetic Filter Discs)
What is G2G? (Grain-to-Grain)
Damion5050's Coir Tek (I use 5.5 - 6 quarts of water instead of 4. Also ignore step 13 and ignore the monotub completely. The only purpose of this tek is to show you how to make a simple substrate. I also add gypsum to it but not necessary)
Spitball's Monotub Tek (A liner isn't necessary but is useful)
Use 6500k lights throughout the whole process. When you wake up, turn the light on. When you go to sleep turn the light off. It's as simple as that.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleCrixalis
Wobble Master
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy] * 2
    #23408149 - 07/03/16 07:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I think it just comes down to what you think is right

one time I went out to eat with a few friends to the Cheesecake Factory and one of my boys didn't have any money

I would of felt bad eating food so I offered to buy him whatever he wants, now don't ask me why I went out to eat with someone who had no money. LOL that's another story...

anyway as you know that place is kinda expensive so he just ended up ordering a burger, I'm sure he felt bad like you but I really wouldn't have cared at the time if he got a steam or some nice fish.

money is just money, it comes and goes

what was more significant was that we were all eating out together at a nice restaurant sharing a lot of laughs, it was a memorable experience for sure.

I think the best thing to do when someone offers to pay for you is to try to have a really good time and enjoy yourself


--------------------
Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky. :heart:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15
Posts: 2,594
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis]
    #23408158 - 07/03/16 07:23 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

what this guy said ^ do what feels right.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinepropensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis] * 1
    #23408183 - 07/03/16 07:32 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Crixalis said:
I think it just comes down to what you think is right

one time I went out to eat with a few friends to the Cheesecake Factory and one of my boys didn't have any money

I would of felt bad eating food so I offered to buy him whatever he wants, now don't ask me why I went out to eat with someone who had no money. LOL that's another story...

anyway as you know that place is kinda expensive so he just ended up ordering a burger, I'm sure he felt bad like you but I really wouldn't have cared at the time if he got a steam or some nice fish.

money is just money, it comes and goes

what was more significant was that we were all eating out together at a nice restaurant sharing a lot of laughs, it was a memorable experience for sure.

I think the best thing to do when someone offers to pay for you is to try to have a really good time and enjoy yourself




Cheesecake factory is a nice restaurant?  :horrified:


--------------------


۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢
̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Bigfeely123]
    #23408188 - 07/03/16 07:33 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I've learned over the years that it's better to just accept when someone wants to give you something. It takes more balls to do so and be grateful than to try and refuse IMO.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleCrixalis
Wobble Master
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: propensity] * 4
    #23408198 - 07/03/16 07:37 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

if that's all you got out of what I was attempting to convey...

then I am sorry for you.

anyways it's a little pricey so I would say that yes it is a 'nice' restaurant

is it the fanciest five star place around...?

no but they can fry some mean catfish

:pikannom:


--------------------
Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky. :heart:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15
Posts: 2,594
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis] * 1
    #23408355 - 07/03/16 08:32 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I love catfish. I love catching them even more.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy]
    #23408358 - 07/03/16 08:33 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Yep whenever a friend offers to pay at a really nice restaurant I always immediately order the most expensive bottle of wine and the wagyu grade filet mignon

And then an ounce of caviar to use as a garnish


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla] * 2
    #23408373 - 07/03/16 08:37 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I'd buy you a glass of house red


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleCrixalis
Wobble Master
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla] * 1
    #23408375 - 07/03/16 08:38 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
Yep whenever a friend offers to pay at a really nice restaurant I always immediately order the most expensive bottle of wine and the wagyu grade filet mignon

And then an ounce of caviar to use as a garnish




if that's what you really want, go for it!

let's eat like kings

:rockon:


--------------------
Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky. :heart:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis]
    #23408409 - 07/03/16 08:49 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

sometimes I'll order a rack of lamb and take a bite and then ask for a to go box and then give it to my dog


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy]
    #23408410 - 07/03/16 08:50 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

i hate liz said:
I'd buy you a glass of house red




:slowreaction:


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
 User Gallery


Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 10,485
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis] * 2
    #23408414 - 07/03/16 08:52 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah order what you want. Nobody would take you to a burger king and expect you to just get a plain old cheeseburger. When I treat people I realize that people are timid, so I flat out offer them the best and insist they get what they want without being too pushy. Believe it or not it makes some people happy to give.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleCrixalis
Wobble Master
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla]
    #23408419 - 07/03/16 08:53 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

damn son

don't expect a second invitation from me

:excitedseal:

atleast the pooch will munch out hard


--------------------
Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky. :heart:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis]
    #23408440 - 07/03/16 09:01 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Crixalis said:
damn son

don't expect a second invitation from me

:excitedseal:






:lol:


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla]
    #23408444 - 07/03/16 09:02 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

In all seriousness I wouldn't order anything crazy. It would have to be within reason.


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSophistic Radiance
Free sVs!
Female


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla]
    #23408529 - 07/03/16 09:26 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

What you should say when you're paying for dinner is something like "You can get me next time".


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblenooneman
Male

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy] * 1
    #23408577 - 07/03/16 09:45 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Always announce or ask what you're getting if someone else is paying like "is it cool if I get this?" or just "I'm gonna get the steak, is that cool?"

Having said that, if the person offers to pay then they don't have any right to feel bad about whatever is ordered (within reason). If I offer to pay, I hand over my card without even looking at the bill because it's just common sense that if you offer to pay then you shouldn't feel bad about paying no matter what it is.

Don't offer to pay if you don't want to pay. I try to live like that, and I hope other people do too. But of course, be a nice person if someone else is paying otherwise you're still being an asshole even if they did offer to pay. Don't order everything on the menu without asking.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,745
Last seen: 25 minutes, 27 seconds
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: nooneman]
    #23408626 - 07/03/16 10:03 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Ill order what I want, probably wont be anything I wouldnt normally order. Like not going to order king crab legs just because im not paying. Id probably offer to pick up the tip and/or pay for food next time.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineripT
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/16
Posts: 56
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: ManianFH] * 1
    #23408636 - 07/03/16 10:07 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Spill their drink, spend as much money as you absolutely can, and get black out drunk and completely disrespect them in everyway.


I dunno man, just be fuckin' respectful. Why don't you ask them how much they're looking to spend and gauge it from there?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 6 hours, 57 minutes
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: ManianFH] * 1
    #23408640 - 07/03/16 10:07 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quit overthinking and order the damn steak.


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisible1234go
Ban Lotto Champion
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,898
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy]
    #23408661 - 07/03/16 10:15 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Just be like, hey..what's the price range? How much is too much?

That's how I usually bring it up.


Edited by 1234go (07/03/16 10:20 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy]
    #23408927 - 07/03/16 11:43 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

i hate liz said:
Say a friend offers to pay for dinner...do I go all out and buy what I want, which is a pricey entree and expensive drinks, or should I kind of "keep it simple," on account of it being their $$$?

I was just out to dinner, and I found myself looking at the prices of things (because I knew someone else was paying).

When it comes to things like this (gifts, if you will), do you pay attention to the dollar value, or is it just more like, OK, this is a gift [wipes hands clean]?

Is there such thing as taking advantage? Maybe a line you shouldn't cross??

Like, OK, well I want the steak, but maybe I'll just settle for the chicken parm....but I don't want the chicken parm.

I want the steak, I'd pay for the steak. But I'm not paying...

What about the drinks, do I go for the pricey/good stuff, or to I take into consideration the fact that it's not my money...they're treating....

I mean, they said it's they're treat, so can't I get what I want and not feel guilty??

Then ya find yourself wondering if they're tipping a decent amount.


We have all of these rules and borders...and they're rarely the same from person to person.

Do I tip if I'm picking up? Really, they're just packaging it vs. putting it on a plate, but who does the packaging?

Should I be tipping them?? It's probably an inconvenience to a degree, but I happen to be driving to you. Can't we throw that into the equation??






i had a friend, who is pretty low-income, take me out to breakfast one morning when i was doing a job for him (in this situation a favor; wasn't going to charge him since i was mostly holding dry-wall while he did the work.)

he decided to go cheap and get some pancakes and tea.  there wasn't much on the menu at the restaurant that i cared for, but they had shiitake omelette that was $14.  despite the fact that one hour of my labor was worth more than the breakfast, i still felt the need to ask him if that wasn't too expensive + beverage.

he was grateful for me asking, then proceeded to tell me to go nuts and get whatever.


there is really no set protocol for this, as far as i can tell. 


at the very least, it doesn't hurt to ask, respectfully, if you want something that is of a price that you may think is too high


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibletrscstghst
stranger
Male


Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 786
Loc: here
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: demiu5]
    #23408989 - 07/04/16 12:06 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

if they go out of their way to take me out to eat on their dime, then I order what I want regardless of price, or at least anything that I would buy if I were paying my own tab.

if its on the fly just out together anyway, and they offer to pay, I try not to spend too much of their money


--------------------
Why use up the forests which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down, if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields?
o Henry Ford


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleBill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy]
    #23409511 - 07/04/16 07:30 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

it depends how much money the friend who is paying makes.

every situation is different and should be treated as such.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblethelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #23409519 - 07/04/16 07:33 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

money is weird, best be conservative


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineAsshat331
PM me if you game on PC
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/11/14
Posts: 1,159
Last seen: 3 months, 12 days
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: thelanzii]
    #23409545 - 07/04/16 07:49 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Think about how much this guy spent on DVD's alone, but as long as those movies made him happy,


--------------------
Things change fast, but this too shall pass
Better carve it on your forehead or tattoo it on your ass
Cause who can tell, when the clock strikes twelve
If today’s become tomorrow or if it’s all just gone to hell



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2  [ show all ]

Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   PhytoExtractum Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Plead to Women who care to listen...Respect yourselves
( 1 2 3 all )
orizon 9,821 44 01/18/09 01:16 PM
by 4ohdmt
* Beer for breakfast :-) *DELETED* freakygurl 1,733 14 11/09/04 12:20 PM
by relativexistance
* Breakfast Zero7a1 1,374 12 07/11/03 12:27 AM
by Zero7a1
* my breakfast
( 1 2 all )
Infrared 2,880 31 04/08/04 12:31 PM
by Ripple
* My stupendously healthy breakfast. YouEnjoyMyself 789 14 05/31/04 09:52 PM
by PuZuZu
* Stoner breakfast! Renegade8 830 6 11/18/04 02:35 PM
by lukeboots
* Say something nice
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
Ripple 5,634 92 08/05/03 12:40 AM
by Anonymous
* How to respectfully leave your job?
( 1 2 all )
Delyrium 4,237 23 05/14/04 11:34 AM
by Ripple

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
544 topic views. 2 members, 62 guests and 31 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.031 seconds spending 0.01 seconds on 14 queries.