|
shadyy
aHhahhHA


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
|
overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture
#23408074 - 07/03/16 06:55 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Say a friend offers to pay for dinner...do I go all out and buy what I want, which is a pricey entree and expensive drinks, or should I kind of "keep it simple," on account of it being their $$$?
I was just out to dinner, and I found myself looking at the prices of things (because I knew someone else was paying).
When it comes to things like this (gifts, if you will), do you pay attention to the dollar value, or is it just more like, OK, this is a gift [wipes hands clean]?
Is there such thing as taking advantage? Maybe a line you shouldn't cross??
Like, OK, well I want the steak, but maybe I'll just settle for the chicken parm....but I don't want the chicken parm.
I want the steak, I'd pay for the steak. But I'm not paying...
What about the drinks, do I go for the pricey/good stuff, or to I take into consideration the fact that it's not my money...they're treating....
I mean, they said it's they're treat, so can't I get what I want and not feel guilty??
Then ya find yourself wondering if they're tipping a decent amount.
We have all of these rules and borders...and they're rarely the same from person to person.
Do I tip if I'm picking up? Really, they're just packaging it vs. putting it on a plate, but who does the packaging?
Should I be tipping them?? It's probably an inconvenience to a degree, but I happen to be driving to you. Can't we throw that into the equation??
--------------------
ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
|
Kush_Zombie
smug piece of shit



Registered: 10/22/14
Posts: 4,793
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy] 1
#23408145 - 07/03/16 07:18 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I'd get what you want but be like "Hey, would it be ok if I got the steak?" and go off of their reaction. Be grateful, it starts becoming a problem when you stop appreciating what the person is doing and start using that person.
I'd also pitch in on the tip.
It sounds like they're just being a friend and doing what friends do. It shouldn't be a "I'm driving you so you owe me this." kind of thing. It should just be acknowledged that one human being is doing a kind and thoughtful thing for another human being. Take them out to dinner next time and don't worry about what they get, be prepared to order them the most expensive thing on the menu because you offered.
Repaying them back with kindness immediately erases previous thoughts of "They ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, he's clearly taking advantage of me." which I doubt were there to begin with.
-------------------- How to get started in bulk: Presto 23-Quart Pressure Cooker BOD's Simple as FUCK Still Air Box PastyWhyte's Easy Agar Tek Munchauzen's Cultivation Video Series How EvilMushroom666 Prepares His Grains (I use jars with Synthetic Filter Discs) What is G2G? (Grain-to-Grain) Damion5050's Coir Tek (I use 5.5 - 6 quarts of water instead of 4. Also ignore step 13 and ignore the monotub completely. The only purpose of this tek is to show you how to make a simple substrate. I also add gypsum to it but not necessary) Spitball's Monotub Tek (A liner isn't necessary but is useful) Use 6500k lights throughout the whole process. When you wake up, turn the light on. When you go to sleep turn the light off. It's as simple as that.
|
Crixalis
Wobble Master



Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy] 2
#23408149 - 07/03/16 07:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I think it just comes down to what you think is right
one time I went out to eat with a few friends to the Cheesecake Factory and one of my boys didn't have any money
I would of felt bad eating food so I offered to buy him whatever he wants, now don't ask me why I went out to eat with someone who had no money. LOL that's another story...
anyway as you know that place is kinda expensive so he just ended up ordering a burger, I'm sure he felt bad like you but I really wouldn't have cared at the time if he got a steam or some nice fish.
money is just money, it comes and goes
what was more significant was that we were all eating out together at a nice restaurant sharing a lot of laughs, it was a memorable experience for sure.
I think the best thing to do when someone offers to pay for you is to try to have a really good time and enjoy yourself
-------------------- Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky.
|
Bigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15 
Posts: 2,594
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis]
#23408158 - 07/03/16 07:23 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
what this guy said ^ do what feels right.
|
propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶



Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis] 1
#23408183 - 07/03/16 07:32 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Crixalis said: I think it just comes down to what you think is right
one time I went out to eat with a few friends to the Cheesecake Factory and one of my boys didn't have any money
I would of felt bad eating food so I offered to buy him whatever he wants, now don't ask me why I went out to eat with someone who had no money. LOL that's another story...
anyway as you know that place is kinda expensive so he just ended up ordering a burger, I'm sure he felt bad like you but I really wouldn't have cared at the time if he got a steam or some nice fish.
money is just money, it comes and goes
what was more significant was that we were all eating out together at a nice restaurant sharing a lot of laughs, it was a memorable experience for sure.
I think the best thing to do when someone offers to pay for you is to try to have a really good time and enjoy yourself
Cheesecake factory is a nice restaurant?
--------------------
۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ ̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Bigfeely123]
#23408188 - 07/03/16 07:33 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I've learned over the years that it's better to just accept when someone wants to give you something. It takes more balls to do so and be grateful than to try and refuse IMO.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Crixalis
Wobble Master



Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: propensity] 4
#23408198 - 07/03/16 07:37 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
if that's all you got out of what I was attempting to convey...
then I am sorry for you.
anyways it's a little pricey so I would say that yes it is a 'nice' restaurant
is it the fanciest five star place around...?
no but they can fry some mean catfish
-------------------- Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky.
|
Bigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15 
Posts: 2,594
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis] 1
#23408355 - 07/03/16 08:32 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I love catfish. I love catching them even more.
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy]
#23408358 - 07/03/16 08:33 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Yep whenever a friend offers to pay at a really nice restaurant I always immediately order the most expensive bottle of wine and the wagyu grade filet mignon
And then an ounce of caviar to use as a garnish
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
shadyy
aHhahhHA


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla] 2
#23408373 - 07/03/16 08:37 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I'd buy you a glass of house red
--------------------
ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
|
Crixalis
Wobble Master



Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla] 1
#23408375 - 07/03/16 08:38 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Niffla said: Yep whenever a friend offers to pay at a really nice restaurant I always immediately order the most expensive bottle of wine and the wagyu grade filet mignon
And then an ounce of caviar to use as a garnish
if that's what you really want, go for it!
let's eat like kings
-------------------- Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky.
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis]
#23408409 - 07/03/16 08:49 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
sometimes I'll order a rack of lamb and take a bite and then ask for a to go box and then give it to my dog
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy]
#23408410 - 07/03/16 08:50 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
i hate liz said: I'd buy you a glass of house red
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
passifloracaerulea



Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 10,485
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis] 2
#23408414 - 07/03/16 08:52 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah order what you want. Nobody would take you to a burger king and expect you to just get a plain old cheeseburger. When I treat people I realize that people are timid, so I flat out offer them the best and insist they get what they want without being too pushy. Believe it or not it makes some people happy to give.
|
Crixalis
Wobble Master



Registered: 11/13/15
Posts: 522
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla]
#23408419 - 07/03/16 08:53 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
damn son
don't expect a second invitation from me

atleast the pooch will munch out hard
-------------------- Bring the right vibes. Express yourself. Be open. Be crazy. But spread your beautiful love light. Things are gonna get wonky.
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Crixalis]
#23408440 - 07/03/16 09:01 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Crixalis said: damn son
don't expect a second invitation from me

--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla]
#23408444 - 07/03/16 09:02 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
In all seriousness I wouldn't order anything crazy. It would have to be within reason.
--------------------
HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
|
Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: Niffla]
#23408529 - 07/03/16 09:26 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
What you should say when you're paying for dinner is something like "You can get me next time".
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
|
nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: shadyy] 1
#23408577 - 07/03/16 09:45 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Always announce or ask what you're getting if someone else is paying like "is it cool if I get this?" or just "I'm gonna get the steak, is that cool?"
Having said that, if the person offers to pay then they don't have any right to feel bad about whatever is ordered (within reason). If I offer to pay, I hand over my card without even looking at the bill because it's just common sense that if you offer to pay then you shouldn't feel bad about paying no matter what it is.
Don't offer to pay if you don't want to pay. I try to live like that, and I hope other people do too. But of course, be a nice person if someone else is paying otherwise you're still being an asshole even if they did offer to pay. Don't order everything on the menu without asking.
|
ManianFH
living in perverty



Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,748
Last seen: 4 minutes, 28 seconds
|
Re: overstepping your boundaries on a nice gesture [Re: nooneman]
#23408626 - 07/03/16 10:03 PM (7 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Ill order what I want, probably wont be anything I wouldnt normally order. Like not going to order king crab legs just because im not paying. Id probably offer to pick up the tip and/or pay for food next time.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
|
|